Taking my grandmother up to Communion

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Latinitas

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Hi everyone,

So I need answers somewhat quickly, because I’m going to Mass at 5:00 PM Pacific Time, but my grandmother, who’s a Catholic, although I think she holds some unorthodox opinions (at least my Mom says so), always likes to go Mass if I go. The problem is, she’s in a wheelchair, and I have to push her up to receive the Blessed Sacrament. She also hasn’t been to confession in years. Granted, I don’t know if she’s committed a mortal sin, but I feel a little awkward about taking her up to receive Holy Communion. Is there anything I should do or say? Should I just take her, and let it be on her conscience whether it be a good or bad communion?

Thanks,
Benedicat Deus,
Latinitas
 
Latinitas said:
Hi everyone,

So I need answers somewhat quickly, because I’m going to Mass at 5:00 PM Pacific Time, but my grandmother, who’s a Catholic, although I think she holds some unorthodox opinions (at least my Mom says so), always likes to go Mass if I go. The problem is, she’s in a wheelchair, and I have to push her up to receive the Blessed Sacrament. She also hasn’t been to confession in years. Granted, I don’t know if she’s committed a mortal sin, but I feel a little awkward about taking her up to receive Holy Communion. Is there anything I should do or say? Should I just take her, and let it be on her conscience whether it be a good or bad communion?

Thanks,
Benedicat Deus,
Latinitas
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Honestly, that’s what I would do.
 
If she wants to go to Communion, take her up.

You might also start inviting her to join you for confession when you go 👍 If she doesn’t want to or can’t get into the confessional, you could tell her you’re setting up an appointment for yourself to meet with Father for confession, and would she like to be included?

God bless you for loving and caring for your grandma – it is a beautiful thing to care for our elderly (in my family we call them our “treasures”)

Gertie
 
Since you are not her confessor, I would say take the poor woman to communion.
If you really are going to be upset, alert the ushers and Deacons to her presence and they will arrange for someone to come to your pew.
Honestly. :rolleyes:
 
pianistclare said:
Since you are not her confessor, I would say take the poor woman to communion.
If you really are going to be upset, alert the ushers and Deacons to her presence and they will arrange for someone to come to your pew.
Honestly. :rolleyes:
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Exactly.
 
I know this is a little late, but here it is for other people:

She’s an adult. Her state of grace is hers to know. If she shouldn’t receive, that’s on her and not on you. It’s not polite to inquire or assume.

That said, it would be great to find out for her how she can get to Confession whenever she wants to go, have Communion brought to her, etc. Make sure she gets a bulletin for that parish.

A lot of people got told at some point that they never had to go to Confession ever again, unless they committed a super-serious mortal sin like murder. This is hogswallop, of course, but a lot of people believed it. (My own mom.) So she might not know that she should go once a year, in which case it wouldn’t have been a sin not to go. If you float the info that you’re still supposed to go at least once a year, a lot of Catholics will immediately get going again.
 
Mintaka said:
I know this is a little late, but here it is for other people:

She’s an adult. Her state of grace is hers to know. If she shouldn’t receive, that’s on her and not on you. It’s not polite to inquire or assume.

That said, it would be great to find out for her how she can get to Confession whenever she wants to go, have Communion brought to her, etc. Make sure she gets a bulletin for that parish.

A lot of people got told at some point that they never had to go to Confession ever again, unless they committed a super-serious mortal sin like murder. This is hogswallop, of course, but a lot of people believed it. (My own mom.) So she might not know that she should go once a year, in which case it wouldn’t have been a sin not to go. If you float the info that you’re still supposed to go at least once a year, a lot of Catholics will immediately get going again.
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If one has not committed any mortal sins, one does not have to confess once a year, although it is not advisable to go that long without Confession. Here is a reference:

catholic.com/quickquestions/what-is-the-requirement-regarding-yearly-confession
 
Latinitas said:
Hi everyone,

So I need answers somewhat quickly, because I’m going to Mass at 5:00 PM Pacific Time, but my grandmother, who’s a Catholic, although I think she holds some unorthodox opinions (at least my Mom says so), always likes to go Mass if I go. The problem is, she’s in a wheelchair, and I have to push her up to receive the Blessed Sacrament. She also hasn’t been to confession in years. Granted, I don’t know if she’s committed a mortal sin, but I feel a little awkward about taking her up to receive Holy Communion. Is there anything I should do or say? Should I just take her, and let it be on her conscience whether it be a good or bad communion?

Thanks,
Benedicat Deus,
Latinitas
Click to expand...
Take her up; or you could check with the ushers before Mass and see if someone will bring communion to her in the pew.
 
Latinitas said:
Hi everyone,
…my grandmother, who’s a Catholic, although I think she holds some unorthodox opinions (at least my Mom says so), always likes to go Mass if I go. The problem is, she’s in a wheelchair, and I have to push her up to receive the Blessed Sacrament. She also hasn’t been to confession in years. Granted, I don’t know if she’s committed a mortal sin, but I feel a little awkward about taking her up to receive Holy Communion. Is there anything I should do or say? Should I just take her, and let it be on her conscience whether it be a good or bad communion?
Click to expand...
I live in an independent living apartment for seniors. You would be shocked by how many will say that they don’t have to go to confession because they don’t have the opportunity to sin or can’t do anything sinful. This is despite the repeated exhortations of the priests.

I have discovered other misinformation like, ‘’…priests should not be bothered unless their is no hope…’’ ‘’…the sacrament of Extreme Unction…’’ ‘‘If I can’t eat the Body, I can’t drink the Blood…’’
 
My mother lived with us for 7 years and we always took her up to communion in her wheelchair. No one cares. She didn’t go to confession either but she had dementia, not bad but bad enough that she wouldn’t have been able to manage it.

We sat in the back so her wheelchair wasn’t in the way. We have a handicapped woman in our parish who has a service dog and she goes to communion with her dog by her side. As far as I know it doesn’t bother anyone and if it did then shame on them.
 
James 5:14 does not say, ‘‘Bring only the deathly ill for anointing…’’ It says, ‘‘Is any one sick among you? Let him bring in the priests of the Church, so they may pray over them, anointing them with oil in the name of the Lord.’’ Extreme Unction carries the connotation that you can not avail yourself of this sacrament until you’re on death’s door. But one’s death come ‘‘like a thief in the night…’’ Since Vatican II, the Church has taught that the faithful that:
The anointing of the sick is not a sacrament for those who are at the point of death. Hence as soon as any of the faithful begins to be in danger of death from illness or old age, the fitting time for him to receive this sacrament has certainly already arrived.
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CCC 1514
 
“Extreme unction” is a perfectly appropriate term for the sacrament of anointing conferred on someone who is near death. Of course it can be applied in a wider range of circumstances, but you don’t give any evidence that your fellow residents don’t understand this. It is also perfectly understandable that senior citizens born near or before Vatican II would use this term out of habit, not necessarily out of a misunderstanding of its applications.
 
Until my maternal grandma got into a wheelchair recently, my parents and I would take her to Mass when we made the long drive to see her. We would sit in the back of the church as they had a row especially for seniors/disabled to sit with their care takers. Several EMHCs brought Communion to each one there. When my grandma went with my aunt and uncle who lived near by, she sat in the front row with them, and have Communion brought to her. I presume my aunt would make sure if my grandma needed to go to Confession or asked to go, she would be taken.

Her current place, EMHCs and often a priest will come to the facilities for the residents that are not able to go to Mass. Sundays, if there is a priest, there is Mass on site. If no priest is available, its a Liturgy of the Word with Communion for the Catholic residents on Sundays. I am sure priests come by in some capacity to hear Confessions, give the Anointing of the Sick, and/or Last Rites per request of a resident and/or their family.

My paternal grandma was often taken to Mass either by a family member or a friend in her last years of life once she stopped driving. I am pretty sure the home she spent her last 6 months or so in has similar services for Catholic residents like my maternal grandma currently has available.
 
Every Catholic Church where I have been to Mass has provided for the disabled to receive Communion in the pew, either by a priest or deacon, or by an EMHC. If there is a wheelchair, the person can sit in the aisle or the back of the church. Also, the caretaker does not have to
get in the Communion line, they can receive with the person in their care, so as not to leave them unattended. Many churches have a place for the disabled to sit with rom for a wheelchair. Our church does, and I have seen it in others.

This is much easier than trying to maneuver a wheelchair or a walker in the line (although some people prefer that). I would suggest that to the OP.
 
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