Taking Toddlers to Mass

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Bklynguy

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Hi everyone,

I have a question: Should I be taking my 2-year old daughter to Mass? She is baptized Catholic and my wife is Lutheran. As a result, I typically go to Mass alone except on Christmas, Easter, or other special events. I leave my daughter home because she is at the age where she is not going to sit still and be quiet and doesn’t understand the concept that she is going to disturb the celebrant trying to conduct Mass. More often than not, I would be taking her out anyway.

Is this the correct approach, or should I be bringing my daughter? I know there is no obligation for her at this point; nonetheless, she is a baptized Catholic. I teach her to pray and both my wife and I read the Bible to her; however, the ultimate form of worship for Catholics is the Mass.

Ideas anyone?
 
I believe you’re doing the right thing - since your child is too young to understand the Mass and it significance, her ability to gain from it would be very limited. Once she’s slightly older, when she can understand, at a minimum, that it is a time to be quiet and respectful, then I would start taking her and answering the inevitable questions about what it taking place.

But until she is at a maturity level where she can be a quiet, respectful participant, I believe you are in the right.
 
If you intend to raise her in the Catholic faith with all the sacraments, I would go ahead and bring her. Probably you should sit near the back so that you can easily bring her out when she becomes bored and causes a disruption. Or, conversly, sit at the very front where she has a good view and may be engaged enough to last through the Mass.

Either way, I say go ahead and may God bless you and your family!
 
Take her to Mass. It doesn’t matter what her ability to understand the Mass is. God’s grace is not hindered by one’s understanding. Otherwise, why do we baptize our infants?

Besides, you have to start kids young going to Mass. My son is 19 months old and is a handful. But I am persistent in bringing him to Divine Liturgy (I am Eastern Catholic) because I don’t want him to learn not to go on Sundays. I want to to grow up knowing that being in church on Sundays is important. Its not an option not to be there unless you cannot come.
 
I agree…take her. My wife and I bring all 3 of our children (aged 4, 2, and almost 1). Yes, it can be hard sometimes, but ultimately, the more they go, they more they learn about proper church etiquette and of course, the closer they become to the Lord…
 
I’d say take her. Our two youngest go and since our 3.5 year old was about 20 months old she has pointed out Jesus to us in the tabernacle. If she stays with an older sibling who is not receiving she tells us to say hi to Jesus when we receive communion. She may not know what transubstantiation is, but she knows that Christ is present in the Eucharist. Young kids pick up more that you might expect, especially if you take the time to explain it to them before hand (i.e. take them to the church outside of mass, father might even give them a tour if he has time).
 
mburn16 said:
I believe you’re doing the right thing - since your child is too young to understand the Mass and it significance, her ability to gain from it would be very limited. Once she’s slightly older, when she can understand, at a minimum, that it is a time to be quiet and respectful, then I would start taking her and answering the inevitable questions about what it taking place.

But until she is at a maturity level where she can be a quiet, respectful participant, I believe you are in the right.
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This made me smile. I have a young friend who had a child out of wedlock. She faithfully brought that little girl to Mass every Sunday from the time she was born. On the morning of her second Christmas she was 14 months old.

As always happened in my parish, the choir opted not to sing at the only Christmas morning Mass, feeling that they had done their duty by being at the Midnight Mass. As always happened when it wasn’t sung, the priest opted to omit the Gospel Acclamation and simply went to pick up the Gospel book from the altar and walk with it to the ambo. In the silence that accompanied his walk came a little voice: “Alleluia? Alleluia?” Too young to understand?
 
Bring her.

The exposure to the Graces of the Mass can only do good. Sure, she might be a little bored at times, but make it good Daddy\Daughter time 🙂
 
Bklynguy said:
Hi everyone,
Is this the correct approach, or should I be bringing my daughter? I know there is no obligation for her at this point; nonetheless, she is a baptized Catholic. I teach her to pray and both my wife and I read the Bible to her; however, the ultimate form of worship for Catholics is the Mass.

Ideas anyone?
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you are doing all the right things
use your best judgment on when to bring her. Just because some 2-year-olds can behave for an hour does not mean all can. Do whatever makes it possible for both you and your wife to get to Mass most of the time. If that means bringing her at times, and she gets restless, so be it. But no she has no obligation until she reaches the age of reason and makes her first communion. It is a good idea to start bringing her well before that so she does learn, when she is ready willing and able, what goes on at Mass, how to participate, and even start learning the prayers. 3 works with some kids, some are not ready until kinder.

If your parish does have a preschool where they have a Mass celebrated especially for them that can be a valuable experience once she reaches the 3-5 age.

But just because a child may be disruptive at times is no reason to fear taking her to Mass, it is a matter of what works for you and your family at this time. If people want to worship in a Catholic Church, where the official policy is to welcome all the children God sends us, they are going to have to get used to young children and babies at Mass. Deal.
 
I would have to say I think you should be taking her with you. I have been bringing my daughter since she was 1 and now she is four. At the beginning I always brought a hard cover book and a snack for her. She wasn’t always quiet but that was okay. Mass is a family time and a time to teach children. As time went by she began to pay more attention. I introduced her to the priest and deacon and now she looks forward to going. Yesterday we went to mass without anything. She sat and listened, and even tried to repeat some of the prayers. It was amazing to my own eyes. I think it helps bringing her and letting her see a side of me and what is really important to mommy. We went for a walk last week and she said, “you know what mommy?” I asked her, “what hunny?” She said, “Did you know that God is everywhere…I can even see him in my hand!”
I think I have started a great life of faith for her at a young age. My advice is try it!!! It may not go smooth the first time, but you will find your own way with her that works! God bless you and your family.
 
Thinking parents were bringing fussy tots/babies to hear Jesus speak:thumbsup:

In my old parish, a family of 6 came to Holy Mass every Sunday. When the youngest got fussy the dad would pick her up and walk with her on the side aisle whereas not to disturb anyone. That same little girl is now an altar server:thumbsup:

If father is a bit “put off” by your little daughter, then SHAME ON HIM!! I know in my heart that God smiles tenderly at little children at Mass and does not mind a little fussiness from them. From your good examples and those around her, she will learn how to behave at Mass and before you realize it, she will be the altar server (they grow up so fast).

Take her to Mass and know that God is showering His graces upon her and you as well.
 
Bklynguy said:
Hi everyone,

I have a question: Should I be taking my 2-year old daughter to Mass? She is baptized Catholic and my wife is Lutheran. As a result, I typically go to Mass alone except on Christmas, Easter, or other special events. I leave my daughter home because she is at the age where she is not going to sit still and be quiet and doesn’t understand the concept that she is going to disturb the celebrant trying to conduct Mass. More often than not, I would be taking her out anyway.

Is this the correct approach, or should I be bringing my daughter? I know there is no obligation for her at this point; nonetheless, she is a baptized Catholic. I teach her to pray and both my wife and I read the Bible to her; however, the ultimate form of worship for Catholics is the Mass.

Ideas anyone?
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I was born and raised Prodestant (I’ve chosen to join the Catholic Church). I took my small four sons every Sunday. They learned to sit and not disturb anyone. If they did make noise, I would just take them out for a bit. My belief is, the more you take them, them more they learn that they must sit still and be quiet. It’s a learning experience for both you and her. I would say take her and as someone else said, sit toward the back in case you must get up and go out. God Bless…Susan
 
Bring her to mass. Most parents don’t have the option anyway. My 2 year old genuflects and loves to rub the holy water on her head, she is trying to learn the sign of the cross. Your daughter needs to see you worshiping her Lord and Savior. When she is disruptive and you can’t contain her, take her out. Look at this as an exercise in humility for YOU. Think about your reasoning to keep her from the closest and most profound presence of God a human can experience on earth… just “because she is at the age where she is not going to sit still and be quiet”. Is your reasoning for her sake, or your own?

Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” - Matthew 19:14
 
Bklynguy said:
Hi everyone,

I have a question: Should I be taking my 2-year old daughter to Mass? She is baptized Catholic and my wife is Lutheran. As a result, I typically go to Mass alone except on Christmas, Easter, or other special events. I leave my daughter home because she is at the age where she is not going to sit still and be quiet and doesn’t understand the concept that she is going to disturb the celebrant trying to conduct Mass. More often than not, I would be taking her out anyway.

Is this the correct approach, or should I be bringing my daughter? I know there is no obligation for her at this point; nonetheless, she is a baptized Catholic. I teach her to pray and both my wife and I read the Bible to her; however, the ultimate form of worship for Catholics is the Mass.

Ideas anyone?
Click to expand...
There is no right or wrong answer here. It is OK for you to leave her at home with your wife at that age. And it is perfectly alright for you to bring her.
 
Thanks for the posts everyone. Most seem to think that I should be bringing my daughter. Maybe next week I will try and see how it goes. There is also another potential benefit: My wife is an ELCA Lutheran, but not a strong one and rarely attends worship service. Moreover, she is not hostile to the Catholic church. If I took my daughter more frequently, there is a good chance that my wife would join us at Mass on occasion–perhaps even frequently. This seems that it would benefit both my child and wife greatly.
 
Bklynguy said:
Thanks for the posts everyone. Most seem to think that I should be bringing my daughter. Maybe next week I will try and see how it goes. There is also another potential benefit: My wife is an ELCA Lutheran, but not a strong one and rarely attends worship service. Moreover, she is not hostile to the Catholic church. If I took my daughter more frequently, there is a good chance that my wife would join us at Mass on occasion–perhaps even frequently. This seems that it would benefit both my child and wife greatly.
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Good thought! 👍 Taking her is certainly not going to hurt anyone, and like you said may help all concerned.
 
The people in my parish have been supportive of us who have little toddlers. They know its a challenge and sympathize, rather than complain. Also being Eastern Catholic, we mostly sing throughout the Divine Liturgy which muffles the sounds of the little ones. I always carry my son during the Anaphora and take him to the back during Homily because that is when he can be the most disruptive.

As a parent its our responsibility to instill the right training in our children. As part of a greater worshiping community, we should support those who take this direction.

It also helps having a married priest with a toddler of his own. I’d like to see how many parishioners complain about this little toddler making a run for the altar when its the priest’s child 😛
 
ConstantineTG said:
It also helps having a married priest with a toddler of his own. I’d like to see how many parishioners complain about this little toddler making a run for the altar when its the priest’s child 😛
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I’m tempted to say that they’d be writing the Bishop to complain but I won’t. 😉
 
Phemie said:
I’m tempted to say that they’d be writing the Bishop to complain but I won’t. 😉
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You just did 😃

I’m pretty sure the bishop will impart his wisdom on them on why its important to keep kids in church 😉
 
ConstantineTG said:
Take her to Mass. It doesn’t matter what her ability to understand the Mass is. God’s grace is not hindered by one’s understanding. Otherwise, why do we baptize our infants?

Besides, you have to start kids young going to Mass. My son is 19 months old and is a handful. But I am persistent in bringing him to Divine Liturgy (I am Eastern Catholic) because I don’t want him to learn not to go on Sundays. I want to to grow up knowing that being in church on Sundays is important. Its not an option not to be there unless you cannot come.
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I love your answer!!! That is the way and the example that we should give as a Christians:thumbsup:
 
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