Tales from the confessional

[Jguerra]

Greetings to all,

I like going to confession–weekly. Many times I cannot go to my ‘regular’ confessor (as when I have to work on Saturday). Sometimes I will get to the nearest parish for the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

What irks me are the irregularities in the Rite of Penance. Such as:

The confessor doesn’t ask me to pray an Act of Contrition prior to absolution.

The confessor starts the absolution during my Act of Contrition.

The absolution is: Your sins are forgiven. Go in peace (no “God the Father of mercies…”).

No greeting at the start of confession, no sign of the Cross.

My questions for advice ignored, moving on to absolution.

How about you? What faux pax have you encountered?

 

[Sir_Knight]

The confessor doesn’t ask me to pray an Act of Contrition prior to absolution.

Not a requirement.

The confessor starts the absolution during my Act of Contrition.

Happens to me often.

The absolution is: Your sins are forgiven. Go in peace (no “God the Father of mercies…”).

That bothers me also.

No greeting at the start of confession, no sign of the Cross.

That’s our job to make the sign of the cross and BEGIN the confession.

My questions for advice ignored, moving on to absolution.

The MAIN point of confession is the forgiveness of sins.

How about you? What faux pax have you encountered?

Penances which are difficult or impossible to perform – do a secret act of kindness, go out and have a good day, etc. Give me a daily rosary to say for a month or some other act that I can clearly know if I properly performed it instead of something that leaves doubt in my mind whether or not I did it correctly.

 

[Sabda]

Penances which are difficult or impossible to perform – do a secret act of kindness, go out and have a good day, etc. Give me a daily rosary to say for a month or some other act that I can clearly know if I properly performed it instead of something that leaves doubt in my mind whether or not I did it correctly.

I was told to do a good work one time during Lent. Ummm, ok so what would be considered a good work? Talk about being broad! I ended up signing up for Meals On Wheels, once a week for a month and considered that my Penance.

As far as my own personal faux pax, I forgot to tell Father when my last confession was. Fortunately he stopped me and asked.

 

[Cran]

My first confession (convert-alert ) was very informal, and for my second confession, I asked my priest to explain to me the usual outward form (word, signs etc.) and he denied and said: Just tell me what bothers you… That was the only “faux pas” if it can be called that, during confession. But it incorporates certainly not telling the time of the last confession

Even reading up the rite doesn’t make me feel comfortable if I confess to a different priest than my usual confessor

 

[LilyM]

That bothers me also.

It should bother you - the confession is invalid (of no effect) without the words ‘I absolve you from your sins …’ I suspect that ‘your sins are forgiven’ is not sufficiently similar to be valid.

 

[AJV]

Greetings to all,

I like going to confession–weekly. Many times I cannot go to my ‘regular’ confessor (as when I have to work on Saturday). Sometimes I will get to the nearest parish for the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

I’m lucky enough that confession is offered every day. Any 2 of the 5 priests might be sitting there.

What irks me are the irregularities in the Rite of Penance. Such as:

 

[DL82]

Greetings to all,

I like going to confession–weekly. Many times I cannot go to my ‘regular’ confessor (as when I have to work on Saturday). Sometimes I will get to the nearest parish for the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

What irks me are the irregularities in the Rite of Penance. Such as:

My questions for advice ignored, moving on to absolution.

How about you? What faux pax have you encountered?

If it’s advice you’re after, and to have a confession that you feel more comfortable with, have you considered finding a Spiritual Director?

 

[mercygate]

My first confession (convert-alert ) was very informal, and for my second confession, I asked my priest to explain to me the usual outward form (word, signs etc.) and he denied and said: Just tell me what bothers you… That was the only “faux pas” if it can be called that, during confession. But it incorporates certainly not telling the time of the last confession

Even reading up the rite doesn’t make me feel comfortable if I confess to a different priest than my usual confessor

As a Convert, I found a terrific confessor. On my second confession with him, right up front, I ASKED him about the form because there didn’t seem to be anyting clearly spelled out that everybody should be able to count on (unlike pre-conciliar days). He stated directly: “That’s a good question.” He explained that things are pretty flexible. Nowadays, he is the only priest I ever make confessions with.

The only irregularity used to be that we do this in his office and he never wore a stole. When my beloved friend and mentor (a bishop in one of the breakaway Anglican churches) closed his summer house and chapel last year, he gave me all the chapel “stuff” – including his big violet stole – to distribute. I had the stole cleaned and gave it to my confessor for Christmas. So now he wears it every time he sees me. Gives me the feel-good-all-over goosebumps.

 

[Sir_Knight]

LilyM:
That bothers me also.

It should bother you - the confession is invalid (of no effect) without the words ‘I absolve you from your sins …’ I suspect that ‘your sins are forgiven’ is not sufficiently similar to be valid.Another thread on this board seemed to indicate that it was.

 

[Jguerra]

Haven’t quite got the hang of reply to one poster above listed but there is an inquiry about getting a spiritual director for myself. The time may indeed come when I ought to advance in the spiritual life besides my daily devotions, weekly confession and Sunday Mass.

I don’t believe any of the pastors in town have enough time to set aside one specific slot just for me. There may be quite a few parishioners who would like to do that.

My spiritual direction is the passive approach: Read up on the catechism, the Bible and other good books; keep EWTN playing in the background, listen to it as I drift off to sleep.

If I’m asking for advice, it’s confined to paltry things like how to practice patience with customer service reps halfway around the world or when it is prudent to keep my yap shut.

I am enjoying the posts here and I appreciate the feedback.

Joe

 

[LilyM]

Another thread on this board seemed to indicate that it was.

Maybe we should search the Ask an Apologist section or put in a query?

 

[Sir_Knight]

Maybe we should search the Ask an Apologist section or put in a query?

You or me

 

[quiet52]

Haven’t quite got the hang of reply to one poster above listed but there is an inquiry about getting a spiritual director for myself. The time may indeed come when I ought to advance in the spiritual life besides my daily devotions, weekly confession and Sunday Mass.

I don’t believe any of the pastors in town have enough time to set aside one specific slot just for me. There may be quite a few parishioners who would like to do that.

My spiritual direction is the passive approach: Read up on the catechism, the Bible and other good books; keep EWTN playing in the background, listen to it as I drift off to sleep.

If I’m asking for advice, it’s confined to paltry things like how to practice patience with customer service reps halfway around the world or when it is prudent to keep my yap shut.

I am enjoying the posts here and I appreciate the feedback.

Joe

Joe, thank you for the challenge to take advantage of this sacrament regulary to persist in righteousness. I have been very lax.

Our priests seem too busy to provide spiritual direction, and they’re not available evenings or weekends when we aren’t working, anyway. I don’t think your approach is so “passive” – you’re being pro-active, in my mind.

 

[LilyM]

You or me

Did a search, found nothing relevant. So I’ve put in a question :yup:

 

[OneAugustKnight]

The last time I went to confession, my confession made the priest laugh so hard he cried. I guess that counts as a faux pas, but it didn’t really bother me.

 

[Pong]

As an aside to the question of invalid absolution- I remember reading on the EWTN Q&A once that the Church provides for things like this and the absolution would be considered valid. It’ll be interesting to see what the apologists say.

 

[LilyM]

The last time I went to confession, my confession made the priest laugh so hard he cried. I guess that counts as a faux pas, but it didn’t really bother me.

Better than one like the one i made when I reverted (12 years’ worth of mortal sins) - he was silent for quite a while, obviously taken aback by what I’d said.

And he did say some of the sins were quite serious but otherwise his response was kind and thoughtful

 

[CarrieH]

There is one priest who has the habit of using the ‘short form’ every time “I absolve you of your sins in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit”.

We had a visiting priest hearing confessions once who barely spoke English, and he mumbled something short and non-English so quickly that I don’t know what he said, or even what language he was speaking. I decided to trust in God’s mercy that my sins were forgiven and that the priest said whatever he was supposed to say, in whatever language. This was fairly recent, so next time I go, I’m going to try to remember to re-confess these sins, just to be on the safe side.

The last time I went to confession, my confession made the priest laugh so hard he cried. I guess that counts as a faux pas, but it didn’t really bother me.

I heard the priest snickering one time after I confessed something.

I do have a question (another “convert-alert,” as Cran called it) – sometimes Monsignor hears confessions, but I’m so much in the habit of saying “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned” that I always say that anyway. Is that OK, or should I call him Monsignor in the confessional?

 

[OneAugustKnight]

Better than one like the one i made when I reverted (12 years’ worth of mortal sins) - he was silent for quite a while, obviously taken aback by what I’d said.

And he did say some of the sins were quite serious but otherwise his response was kind and thoughtful

It’s actually pretty cool when the priest laughs, I think. It made me relax a little bit. I was glad I had made him happy, cause a lot of confessions must be really draining or depressing. When he composed himself he said, “That’s not a sin! Why do you think that is a sin?!” And I told him why, and he laughed some more, but assured me I had not sinned. I was so relieved.

I was only just baptized, so I’ve yet to confess anything really serious, I guess. I would probably start crying if the priest took so long to respond to my confession. I’m glad you got those serious sins absolved though

 

[Sir_Knight]

I do have a question (another “convert-alert,” as Cran called it) – sometimes Monsignor hears confessions, but I’m so much in the habit of saying “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned” that I always say that anyway. Is that OK, or should I call him Monsignor in the confessional?

A “Monsignor” is a “Father”. A “Bishop” is a “Father”. The “Pope” is a “Father”. Call them “Father”.

At the end of the confession after you have been absolved of your sins, you can say “Thank you Monsignor”, if you wish.