Tales from the confessional

[LilyM]

It’s actually pretty cool when the priest laughs, I think. It made me relax a little bit. I was glad I had made him happy, cause a lot of confessions must be really draining or depressing. When he composed himself he said, “That’s not a sin! Why do you think that is a sin?!” And I told him why, and he laughed some more, but assured me I had not sinned. I was so relieved.

I was only just baptized, so I’ve yet to confess anything really serious, I guess. I would probably start crying if the priest took so long to respond to my confession. I’m glad you got those serious sins absolved though

Well, God and I both already knew exactly what I’d done, the priest being told as well was a minor detail if itreslted in absolution.

 

[Cran]

Concerning the difficulty to find a spiritual director: Our diocese keeps a list of people who are willing to take someone into spiritual direction, and who often have a special education for it.
Maybe you can call and ask if they have one, too.

Many cloisters/congregations also offer it and are more apt at providing a slot for somebody than the average parish priest (it is of course easier if you’re not bound to have a priest as your spiritual advisor). Today, they usually have phones, and emails, too, so that one can easily inquire.

 

[cheddarsox]

Here are a couple I’ve encountered

when in grade school, we were taken to confession, one priest would read magazines and work crossword puzzles while hearing confessions. You could hear him turning the pages and see him coming out afterwords with the folded paper and the puzzle.

Once he just walked out on a girl during her confession. She didn’t know what to do, she hadn’t finished yet.

After having been away from confession for a number of years, I went to confession and the priest told me none of the things I confessed were sins, my only sin was not going to confession more often.

 

[crenfro]

Penances which are difficult or impossible to perform – do a secret act of kindness, go out and have a good day, etc. Give me a daily rosary to say for a month or some other act that I can clearly know if I properly performed it instead of something that leaves doubt in my mind whether or not I did it correctly.

It’s far from impossible to do a secret act of kindness…

 

[crenfro]

If it’s advice you’re after, and to have a confession that you feel more comfortable with, have you considered finding a Spiritual Director?

How do I find a Spiritual Director?

 

[Sir_Knight]

Once he just walked out on a girl during her confession. She didn’t know what to do, she hadn’t finished yet.

Unless he suddenly became ill or had to use the bathroom, there is no excuse for that. And even under those circumstances, he should have said something. How long does it take to utter a few words?

After having been away from confession for a number of years, I went to confession and the priest told me none of the things I confessed were sins, my only sin was not going to confession more often.

Isn’t there a scripture passage that says that if someone considers something to BE a sin, then it IS a sin? Anyone know the passage that I am talking about?

It’s far from impossible to do a secret act of kindness…

Really? Can you give me a FEW examples? I work from home (computer consulting, web design, internet sales, etc.) and rarely have outside interaction. I do minister the Eucharist to the elderly and homebound but those acts are obviously not done in secret. I’m a member of the Knights of Columbus but again, those actions are not done in secret. I also help out at the church. However, those are also not done in secret.

So, can you provide a FEW examples?

 

[baltobetsy]

So, can you provide a FEW examples?

How about the broad category of fixing or taking care of something before the other person realizes anything is wrong? In our house, the cat will sometimes leave a furball or other disgusting mess in the middle of the living room. To clean it up before anyone else notices and without calling attention to it is a secret act of kindness. Are there things like that in your house?

When you help out at church or work with the Knights, can you lighten someone’s load without calling attention to yourself? Restock some supplies, perhaps? Can you leave an anonymous note of appreciation or encouragement for someone, or maybe their favorite candy bar or magazine in their inbox?

You have a family, right? Can you think about your daughter’s life and see what’s coming up for her and make something go more smoothly? Say she makes her own lunch and one of the things she needs is usually stored out of reach. You could casually leave it where she can get it easily without telling her.

Winter is coming. Since you work from home, could you clear a neighbor’s walk if it snows during the day while they’re at work? Maybe not the next-door neighbor so they don’t suspect you? How about helping with someone’s leaves this fall and let them think it was the wind.

You’re dining in a restaurant, and the person at the next table goes to the restroom. As they get up, their coat slips off the back of the chair onto the floor. You put it back and don’t announce it when they return. If you’re filthy rich, you leave $50 in the pocket.

Pay the toll for the car behind you if you don’t use EasyPass. Treat the person behind you at McDonald’s or whatever drive-through you frequent.

Maybe God allows you to get this penance so you will focus on others and their needs while forgetting and humbling yourself.

Betsy

 

[LilyM]

Unless he suddenly became ill or had to use the bathroom, there is no excuse for that. And even under those circumstances, he should have said something. How long does it take to utter a few words?

Isn’t there a scripture passage that says that if someone considers something to BE a sin, then it IS a sin? Anyone know the passage that I am talking about?

Really? Can you give me a FEW examples? I work from home (computer consulting, web design, internet sales, etc.) and rarely have outside interaction. I do minister the Eucharist to the elderly and homebound but those acts are obviously not done in secret. I’m a member of the Knights of Columbus but again, those actions are not done in secret. I also help out at the church. However, those are also not done in secret.

So, can you provide a FEW examples?

Send an anonymous donation into a charity or leave an anonymous envelope at your church. Heck, just stuff some money into the poorbox some time when no-one’s looking.

 

[Sir_Knight]

How about the broad category of fixing or taking care of something before the other person realizes anything is wrong? In our house, the cat will sometimes leave a furball or other disgusting mess in the middle of the living room. To clean it up before anyone else notices and without calling attention to it is a secret act of kindness. Are there things like that in your house?

When I do something for my family or for the house, I see that as an obligation or my duty as a husband, father, etc.

When you help out at church or work with the Knights, can you lighten someone’s load without calling attention to yourself?

Without calling attention to myself – that’s the hard part. Whatever I do would be known by someone even if I wasn’t calling attention to myself.

Restock some supplies, perhaps?

That’s an idea.

Can you leave an anonymous note of appreciation or encouragement for someone, or maybe their favorite candy bar or magazine in their inbox?

Have to leave it with the secretary who would put it in.

You have a family, right? Can you think about your daughter’s life and see what’s coming up for her and make something go more smoothly? Say she makes her own lunch and one of the things she needs is usually stored out of reach. You could casually leave it where she can get it easily without telling her.

Again, I see that as an obligation that I would do anyway.

Winter is coming. Since you work from home, could you clear a neighbor’s walk if it snows during the day while they’re at work? Maybe not the next-door neighbor so they don’t suspect you? How about helping with someone’s leaves this fall and let them think it was the wind.

About half the houses have somebody home so somebody would see me.

You’re dining in a restaurant, and the person at the next table goes to the restroom. As they get up, their coat slips off the back of the chair onto the floor.

If the coat fell off, that would be a good one.

You put it back and don’t announce it when they return. If you’re filthy rich, you leave $50 in the pocket.

And I could be accused of trying to pick their pocket.

Pay the toll for the car behind you if you don’t use EasyPass. Treat the person behind you at McDonald’s or whatever drive-through you frequent.

These are good ones. Thank you.

Maybe God allows you to get this penance so you will focus on others and their needs while forgetting and humbling yourself.

Could be. I have no problem with doing things for others because I do a lot of that already – it’s the “in secret” part that gives me problems.

Thanks for your suggestions.

 

[baltobetsy]

When I do something for my family or for the house, I see that as an obligation or my duty as a husband, father, etc.

I have no problem with doing things for others because I do a lot of that already – it’s the “in secret” part that gives me problems.

If you take care of something that someone else would surely do if they discovered it first, and especially if it would be legitimate to leave it for them, you have made their life a little better. That’s kind, don’t you think? The more difficult or distasteful the job, the greater the kindness. And if they never know about it, it’s secret, too.

Betsy

 

[scaron]

As an aside to the question of invalid absolution- I remember reading on the EWTN Q&A once that the Church provides for things like this and the absolution would be considered valid. It’ll be interesting to see what the apologists say.

I too will watch for what the apologists say, but it is my understanding, based on Fr. Corapi’s Catechism series, that there is no ecclesia supplet (That is “The Church Supplies”) when it comes to the valid form and matter of a Sacrament.

Clearly this concerns the form of the Sacrament.

One other thing, when I was a kid in the early 70’s, the absolution was given in Latin, and was, as best as I can remember,

Ego te absolvo in nomine Patri, et Fili, at Spiritu Sancti -
which is “I absolve you in the Name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit”. I am sure that is valid form.

Not sure (and somewhat doubtful) about “Go, your sins are forgiven …”

 

[crenfro]

Really? Can you give me a FEW examples? I work from home (computer consulting, web design, internet sales, etc.) and rarely have outside interaction. I do minister the Eucharist to the elderly and homebound but those acts are obviously not done in secret. I’m a member of the Knights of Columbus but again, those actions are not done in secret. I also help out at the church. However, those are also not done in secret.

So, can you provide a FEW examples?

Yes.

Try mailing someone a $20.00 bill anonymously. Pick their name randomly out of the phone book. Put it into an envelope, stamp and mail in a public mailbox. No one will know what you’re up to but you and God.

Pray for someone or something. No one will see but you and God.

Don’t step on an insect, instead catch it and let it outside. You don’t need to tell anyone what you did.

Put regular cash into the offertory basket during Mass. No one will know whose it is.

 

[Jguerra]

I have one more to add.

For my penance, a visiting priest told me to get a copy of the Purpose Driven Life ($14.97 at Wal-Mart).

I had my penance commuted by the pastor across town.