Talking about Confession: Taboo?

[Gordon_Sims]

Over the last few months I’ve had several conversations with various people about Confession. They all started as pretty generic discussions, talking about the requirements and procedures, whether/how often you go, whether you like face-to-face or anonymous, etc. Whenever I mention anything specific, though, it’s made the others really uneasy. Mind you, I’m not talking about specific sins or anything of that nature, but I’ve had some interesting/amusing experiences at Confession (for example, the very loud, jovial priest laughing for several minutes, which got me some funny looks when I exited the confessional) and I didn’t see anything wrong with mentioning them. I know a priest isn’t allowed to break the seal of the confessional, but I didn’t think the same held true to the penitent. Am I breaking some sort of taboo by discussing these things?

 

[DJJG]

You are correct in that the priest can not break the seal of the confessional, he can not talk about anything that goes on durring any confession :nope:; but the penitent can say anything to anyone about his/her confession (yea I think I’ll stick to the funny antedotes only). If the priest wasn’t bound to complete confidence, how many of us would have the courage to go to confession with anything serious :dts:? Hey, at least they don’t have us do public penances like they used to centures ago :bighanky:, people usually knew what you confessed by the penance you did, in front of everyone:frighten:!

---

(Hey Mr. Flytrap, how’re doing?)

 

[CatholicSheila]

I’ve noticed that too. I see a psychologist who happens to be Catholic and one day I mentioned something that happened during Confession - it was relevant to some of the things we were working through - and she reacted very strongly to the fact that I was sharing something about confession. I was told that it wasn’t appropriate for Catholics to discuss it - it was a private affair. She didn’t have much of a comeback when I mentioned practically everything I say to her is a ‘private affair’ and things I don’t even tell those closest to me - adding something about confession is hardly adding anything interesting.

It’s the only time I’ve ever bought it up as neither my family or any of my friends are Catholic. With them even mentioning that I’ve been to confession makes them uncomfortable.

 

[acadian]

I speak often of confession, and sometimes I do mention generally what I might have confessed. I don’t imagine it’s all that different than what anyone else might confess. Sometimes I mention whatever advice I got, because there is usually a lot of wisdom in it. I share the joy and the peace that I receive, because I want others to know it, too.

This past advent, after a conversation that spanned the better part of ten years, a friend of mine went to confession after nearly 40 years.

I think it makes people uncomfortable because it forces them to look at their own lives, and the fact that perhaps they need to frequent the sacrament, as well.

 

[beth40n2]

Priests do have to keep confidences, but lay people do not.

I teach teen agers the sacraments, and when teacing on the sacrament of Reconcilliation, we talk about all subjects we need to confess. We also talk about what happens in the confessional. It really helps young people to know that you can confess sins and yet you still may have something said you can laugh at. It is good to now the priest will give advice of how we can prevent the situation in which we sinned. Kids (and everyone) needs to know the priest is not one to be scared of and that he is there to help us.

It is ok for us to tell what kind of penances we have been given. The rosary, the Divine Mercy chaplet, maybe an apology to a person. Any knowledge a person can have of the sacrament will help to take away the scarey feeling of going into the confessional.

Maybe because I am a convert, and the learning process has helped me and now I can help others. I feel it is something we can talk about .

A priest may give examples of what types of penance he may give, or what types of sin to confess. My priest does well with the kids, especially the first communion kids. They are scared of their first penance and they need to know it is not a terrible experience.

No a priest will never repeat what someone confessed! They don’t even want to talk to you about something that you and him have discussed in the confessional. I was told that after I tried to talk to my priest about something I said in the confessional. He said to me, I can not discuss that even in private, unless you are back in the confessional.

 

[Gordon_Sims]

It’s the only time I’ve ever bought it up as neither my family or any of my friends are Catholic. With them even mentioning that I’ve been to confession makes them uncomfortable.

I have Catholic family members and friends who get uncomfortable just at the mention of Confession. Most of the ones who get uncomfortable just hearing the word are at least a bit lapsed. With them, I don’t mind making them feel a bit uncomfortable if it’s going to challenge their current, lapsed state and get them thinking about whether what I’m telling them is correct (that they need to go at least once a year to stay in communion with the Church), or if their cherry-picking/cafeteria beliefs are valid (that you only have to go when you feel like it, or if you rob a bank/kill someone).

I have one friend who went to confession for the first time in over 25 years when his son had his First Confession. He said that a lot of the parents there were in the same boat as him and he was astounded by how many spent 15+ minutes in the confessional then came out crying. He said he didn’t see what the big deal was and that he was only in there a couple minutes because he really didn’t have anything to confess. Keep in mind that I was friends with him through high school and college so I can say without question that he had enough material to keep the priest’s ear bent for at least an hour. While I didn’t challenge him on anything I had firsthand knowledge of, I did tell him that he was required to go at least once a year, to attend Mass every Sunday/holy day, and that there’s a lot more to mortal sin than just killing someone. This led to a pretty lively discussion and although I didn’t make an immediate impact, he’s now one of those who gets a bit flustered if I even mention the word. My hope is that it’s his conscience nagging at him and not just annoyance.

As far as those who have a negative reaction to me mentioning anything that transpires in the confessional, I’ll try to be a little more sympathetic to that view, although the next time it happens I may ask them directly why it seems to bother them. The Sacrament of Reconciliation is one of the things I like most about our faith and as long as we’re not dredging up any lurid or sordid information, I think it’s something we shouldn’t have any problems discussing. Besides, I feel that if I’m able to tell people about some of the more amusing things that have happened to me (as in, I laid my soul bare and the priest and I were able to have a good laugh about it at my expense), it might put them more at ease with the idea of going to Confession.

 

[TimothyH]

I’ve noticed that too. I see a psychologist who happens to be Catholic and one day I mentioned something that happened during Confession - it was relevant to some of the things we were working through - and she reacted very strongly to the fact that I was sharing something about confession. I was told that it wasn’t appropriate for Catholics to discuss it - it was a private affair. She didn’t have much of a comeback when I mentioned practically everything I say to her is a ‘private affair’ and things I don’t even tell those closest to me - adding something about confession is hardly adding anything interesting.

It’s the only time I’ve ever bought it up as neither my family or any of my friends are Catholic. With them even mentioning that I’ve been to confession makes them uncomfortable.

That’s funny about your family being uncomfortable.

My car broke down the other day right in front of the Church, and of all people who stopped to help, it was a Baptist pastor. He offered me a ride and and I accepted. He came at me from every angle trying to preach the Gospel as we waited for the tow truck. As luck would have it, the pastor of my parish happened by and pulled over.

I said “Hi Father!” and he asked if I was OK and if I needed a ride. I told him that the man had already offered me a ride and Father said, “Are you sure? I have to hear confessions but I can give you a ride home after.”

You should have seen the look on the Baptist Pastor’s face. It was probably the first time in his life that he had ever seen a real priest in roman collar face to face, let alone heard anyone call one Father or heard anything about confessions. They guys face was this wierdest shade of grey I had ever seen. He was clearly shook up.

So then I invited him to walk with me into the Church (God forgive me) under the premise of using the bathroom, and as we walk in there is a deacon in the chapel, fully vested, doors wide open, in full view doing a baptism. I said, “Shhhh… The deacon is doing a baptism. I’ll be right out.” When I came out, they guy was outside the Church staring at a statue of Jesus. Talk about uncomfortable, I don’t think the guy was able to stand being there.

-Tim-

 

[BListon]

Priests do have to keep confidences, but lay people do not.

I teach teen agers the sacraments, and when teacing on the sacrament of Reconcilliation, we talk about all subjects we need to confess. We also talk about what happens in the confessional. It really helps young people to know that you can confess sins and yet you still may have something said you can laugh at. It is good to now the priest will give advice of how we can prevent the situation in which we sinned. Kids (and everyone) needs to know the priest is not one to be scared of and that he is there to help us.

It is ok for us to tell what kind of penances we have been given. The rosary, the Divine Mercy chaplet, maybe an apology to a person. Any knowledge a person can have of the sacrament will help to take away the scarey feeling of going into the confessional.

Maybe because I am a convert, and the learning process has helped me and now I can help others. I feel it is something we can talk about .

A priest may give examples of what types of penance he may give, or what types of sin to confess. My priest does well with the kids, especially the first communion kids. They are scared of their first penance and they need to know it is not a terrible experience.

No a priest will never repeat what someone confessed! They don’t even want to talk to you about something that you and him have discussed in the confessional. I was told that after I tried to talk to my priest about something I said in the confessional. He said to me, I can not discuss that even in private, unless you are back in the confessional.

Lol… this is kinda off topic, but I couldn’t help but notice that you converted in the exact same order of denominations that I did. Pentecostal, United Methodist, then Catholic.