Talking before, during and after Mass

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My church solved the kneeler issue about 15 years ago - they just removed them all! It was a diocese thing, new churches were to be built without them, so our church simply removed them. Got in maybe two more rows of pews that way. It helps me, I’m a tripper, and my wife is a complete ‘fall down go BOOM!’.

There is also a small chapel available for quiet prayer, though you might not get your fav seat!
horrible
 
You could try asking Father to have start Adoration on Sundays after the first Sunday Mass and end it 30 to 1 hour after the last mass on Sunday.

That would help.

Tell him you love how they do that at EWTN.
 
All good points raised in the replies have been duly noted. Many thanks for everyone contributing. I bring my daughters - who are 5 and 8 - to Mass with me and I tell them not to talk before during or even after Mass (well til we’ve left the building).

Will take some of these points on board, God bless!!
 
Some parishes have a pre-Mass rosary. Someone begins reciting the rosary 20 minutes before Mass, and everyone says the responses. As other people arrive, they join in. Most people will not talk loudly to interrupt a rosary.
 
Some parishes have a pre-Mass rosary. Someone begins reciting the rosary 20 minutes before Mass, and everyone says the responses. As other people arrive, they join in. Most people will not talk loudly to interrupt a rosary.
Group vocal prayer (rosary, Angelus, etc) is good and this is what they do at some parishes; however, the downside is that it makes it hard to say your penance after you just did confession, if you just confessed. It took me forever one time to say ten Our Fathers. 🙂 Poor excuse, I know.

OTOH, if the priest gives you a decade to say, you lucked out. 🙂
 
My church solved the kneeler issue about 15 years ago - they just removed them all! It was a diocese thing, new churches were to be built without them, so our church simply removed them. Got in maybe two more rows of pews that way. It helps me, I’m a tripper, and my wife is a complete ‘fall down go BOOM!’.

There is also a small chapel available for quiet prayer, though you might not get your fav seat!
That’s interesting, about 10 yrs ago our bishop required all parishes without kneelers, install kneelers so people don’t have to kneel on the floor at the parts of the mass where it is required that you kneel.

Of course we have the noisy kneeler problem. But better that than kneeling on concrete.
 
That’s interesting, about 10 yrs ago our bishop required all parishes without kneelers, install kneelers so people don’t have to kneel on the floor at the parts of the mass where it is required that you kneel.

Of course we have the noisy kneeler problem. But better that than kneeling on concrete.
Our church doesn’t kneel at all. New churches are going back to kneelers, but Richmond said they do not need to be retrofitted. A few kneel anyway, but its a little awkward in the space available. It works for us!
 
Hey Chezel - I hear you! Do you have misophonia? I do & have given up on going to church early to pray. After last Saturday I was in tears & told my husband I didn’t want to go to Mass at all any more - I get nothing out of it on bad days.

After I calmed down, we discussed it & I’m going to try earplugs. If a certain person is there I’ll have to wear them throughout the Mass.

The other alternative is to ask our priest for permission to go to Mass during the week instead of on Saturday. I don’t think he’ll understand, so I’m going to try to avoid that.

I go to the most quiet parish we have available - I moved there from the really noisy one that I’m “supposed” to attend.
I also suffer from misophonia. ARGH.

I’ve encountered in the mostly newer parishes in the suburbs. The city parishes are older, and overall more reverent from the members.

Even the parish that prays the Rosary before Mass, and also has confession the hour before that, seems to struggle with holy silence, both before the Rosary and even during it! The parish we are members of does not have the Rosary before Mass, and, at every Mass no matter what time of day (other than early weekday Mass), the noise is ridiculous, from the pews to the gathering space (and the ushers keep opening the doors to let more noise into the church space). It’s even harder when large groups of people (youth or adults) are talking and laughing when you’re trying to pray peacefully. Sometimes we go to the Adoration Chapel either before or after Mass.

At times, I struggle DURING Mass with noises; I’ve prayed and prayed for assistance from God, the Saints and Angels, to help me concentrate on Him. It does help tremendously.
 
At times, I struggle DURING Mass with noises; I’ve prayed and prayed for assistance from God, the Saints and Angels, to help me concentrate on Him. It does help tremendously.
Happy to meet a fellow sufferer. 👋

I’ve done that, too, praying for help during Mass. But then I’m unable to pay attention to the prayers of the Mass. Downsides to everything. In the past, before I knew what misophonia is, I prayed to become deaf. I’m glad that prayer wasn’t answered!
 
Happy to meet a fellow sufferer. 👋

I’ve done that, too, praying for help during Mass. But then I’m unable to pay attention to the prayers of the Mass. Downsides to everything. In the past, before I knew what misophonia is, I prayed to become deaf. I’m glad that prayer wasn’t answered!
One can’t hear the readings or prayers if people are stirring around in the pews or still entering the pews. People are people and will always distract. One of the reasons for having missalettes and such to read along with.
 
Happy to meet a fellow sufferer. 👋

I’ve done that, too, praying for help during Mass. But then I’m unable to pay attention to the prayers of the Mass. Downsides to everything. In the past, before I knew what misophonia is, I prayed to become deaf. I’m glad that prayer wasn’t answered!
I have to accept that I cannot make every Mass attendance ‘perfect’, and that’s okay, as long as I’m striving. God knows what I’m facing, and why, and is probably more forgiving of my faults and shortcomings than I am (which I’m trying to learn!).

I do hold my Rosary in my hands through every Mass as well, to help to keep me centered and focused on what is going on.
 
I do hold my Rosary in my hands through every Mass as well, to help to keep me centered and focused on what is going on.
Good idea! I keep my rosary in my hands in other stressful situations - don’t know why I didn’t think of it for Mass. I’ll do that.
 
A priest friend of mine turns the lights off in the church until the processional hymn is about to start.

He says people behave better in a theatre than a church, so he fools them into the theatre darkness!

😃
 
A priest friend of mine turns the lights off in the church until the processional hymn is about to start.

He says people behave better in a theatre than a church, so he fools them into the theatre darkness!

😃
And the ushers, do they guide people with their flashlights? 😉

Not a bad idea, though, especially if your church doesn’t have windows.
 
When I went to my very first Catholic mass for the first time back in May of this year. I was visiting the Mary Queen of the Universe Shrine in Orlando. I actually attended Sunday and Daily mass for the 5 days I was there on vacation and shockingly, no one spoke at all before or after the mass services, it was peaceful, my heart was tuned to the spirit as I made the effort to go to mass before I did any of my vacation activities, what more could I ask for? It was perfect. Of course, we all have all had different experiences but this was a no brainer for me.👍
 
There is one extended family that seems to always be in the area where we are on Sundays and they talk non-stop before Mass. Thankfully, when Mass starts they do not carry on their conversations. There have been at least a couple of times when our pastor spoke to us before Mass and asked us not to carry on extended conversations because people are trying to pray before Mass starts. He said a quick hello, or word was ok but to try not to carry on conversation. This family, particularly the one member, must not have been listening or didn’t care because the conversations have never ceased even when our pastor made his remarks. It does get to be annoying and my husband has said that he has come so close to turning around and asking them to be quiet. While these conversations are distracting they can also be a means of testing our virtues. How patient are we, how humble are we, how judgmental against others are we, and so on. We should be concerned more about our own faults and not focus on the failings of others.
 
I have to say, I got a little irritated today. There were several people silently praying in the chapel, but people were walking in and out, talking loudly and laughing, as if they were totally oblivious to the fact that people were praying. I turned once and gave a bit of a scowl to a gentleman by the door, but the rest of the time, I just ignored it and tried very hard to just focus on my prayers.

I just don’t understand if people just don’t realize that they are being inconsiderate or they just don’t care. :confused:
 
I have to say, I got a little irritated today. There were several people silently praying in the chapel, but people were walking in and out, talking loudly and laughing, as if they were totally oblivious to the fact that people were praying. I turned once and gave a bit of a scowl to a gentleman by the door, but the rest of the time, I just ignored it and tried very hard to just focus on my prayers.

I just don’t understand if people just don’t realize that they are being inconsiderate or they just don’t care. :confused:
I stopped by my neighborhood Catholic Church this morning our of curiosity knowing it was the Feast of the Immaculate Conception (arguably the most Catholic of Catholic feast days). And I was frankly shocked to find several people talking all during the mass very audibly, particularly during quiet portions of the mass. And at least one phone rang and the lady with the phone didn’t silence it immediately but actually got up and walked through the church with it in her purse ringing to answer it in the atrium of the church (also to be very audibly heard since the atrium has tile and high ceilings so it echoes).
 
Our choir joined the choir from another parish for the service last night for the immaculate conception. There were people praying in the chapel before mass, but we always warm up and rehearse the hymns in the chapel before mass. I very much appreciate our warm up and rehearsal before mass, but I often wonder if we are disturbing the prayers of others. Last night I couldn’t help but look around to see if anyone looked irritated. It didn’t seem like anyone was, but the choir for that parish also always warms up in the chapel before mass, so perhaps their parishoners are used to it.

Does the choir warming up and discussing the music similarly disturb prayer for y’all before mass? I honestly do not see a way around it, because we need to go over the songs before and we practice right up until five minutes before mass most of the time.
 
Does the choir warming up and discussing the music similarly disturb prayer for y’all before mass? I honestly do not see a way around it, because we need to go over the songs before and we practice right up until five minutes before mass most of the time.
I don’t think anyone has complained about that. It’s annoying, but it can be hard for choir members to meet at other times for practice.

Tho the choir can be “tone deaf” to people praying after Mass. A group of us - about 10 or 12 - were staying after Mass to pray the Novena of Divine Mercy. We waited until most the people were gone, except for choir members putting away microphones & instruments. They talked loudly, told jokes, laughed, sang snatches of secular songs and were totally oblivious to those of us praying.

That church has a tiny room with the tabernacle set off from the rest of the church by a half open-grid wall - anyone in there can be seen. One time I was trying to pray when 3 young men stopped in front of the wall to talk sports - one even draped his arm over the wall. I finally asked them to move - they apologized & moved on.

I see this same type of behavior in a lot of places - not just in church. It’s annoying at theatres, symphonies, and lectures, but it seems worse in a church as that should be a place of prayer. (Matt 21:13, Mark 11:17, Luke 19:46)
 
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