Talking In Church Before Mass

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pray4peace

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I have been going to my church for over 10 years, and have enjoyed being able to pray without disruption until recently.
I have been pretty patient with people whispering a little or shaking hands with those they see, but last week the man next to me acted like he was talking to his buddy in the parking lot very loudly I might add, leaning over the pew behind him talking to this couple all about his daughter and jobs, and their kids and it went on and on! I couldn’t believe this was happening, and I almost bolted from the church it was so bad.

Have any of you experienced this kind of thing? I am so disappointed in this kind of behavior in church. What have you done to curb this obnoxious behavior in your church?
 
pray4peace said:
I have been going to my church for over 10 years, and have enjoyed being able to pray without disruption until recently.
I have been pretty patient with people whispering a little or shaking hands with those they see, but last week the man next to me acted like he was talking to his buddy in the parking lot very loudly I might add, leaning over the pew behind him talking to this couple all about his daughter and jobs, and their kids and it went on and on! I couldn’t believe this was happening, and I almost bolted from the church it was so bad.

Have any of you experienced this kind of thing? I am so disappointed in this kind of behavior in church. What have you done to curb this obnoxious behavior in your church?
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If you were disturbed you should have/could have simply asked if he would please lower his voice. If you did nothing he may not have been aware he was disturbing you.
 
Eilish_Maura said:
If you were disturbed you should have/could have simply asked if he would please lower his voice. If you did nothing he may not have been aware he was disturbing you.
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Yes, politely nip it in the bud!!! If yours is the only parish in the US that has been quietly reverent for the past 10 years, do all you can to keep it that way. Please post the name of the church and driving directions and mass times for the rest of us.😃
 
Claire_from_DE said:
Yes, politely nip it in the bud!!! If yours is the only parish in the US that has been quietly reverent for the past 10 years, do all you can to keep it that way. Please post the name of the church and driving directions and mass times for the rest of us.😃
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I think that the only really quiet place in my diocese is the Monastery of the Brothers of St. John. You could hear an ant walk inside their priory chapel. I almost feel guilty sneezing. That’s how quiet it is.

I like the way my parochial vicar handles noise. Before Mass, he comes out and prays his office in front of the Blessed Sacrament. If there is any noise, it’s snuffed out because the moment he walks in, everyone clams up. It is really nice to see him setting the example and tryng to get us into focus.👍
 
pray4peace said:
I have been going to my church for over 10 years, and have enjoyed being able to pray without disruption until recently.
I have been pretty patient with people whispering a little or shaking hands with those they see, but last week the man next to me acted like he was talking to his buddy in the parking lot very loudly I might add, leaning over the pew behind him talking to this couple all about his daughter and jobs, and their kids and it went on and on! I couldn’t believe this was happening, and I almost bolted from the church it was so bad.

Have any of you experienced this kind of thing? I am so disappointed in this kind of behavior in church. What have you done to curb this obnoxious behavior in your church?
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I walk over or turn around and Sush!! them.

You might also bring it to the pastors attention. He can have a few signs posted on the doors reminding people entering to be QUIET!
 
benedictgal said:
.
I like the way my parochial vicar handles noise. Before Mass, he comes out and prays his office in front of the Blessed Sacrament. If there is any noise, it’s snuffed out because the moment he walks in, everyone clams up. It is really nice to see him setting the example and tryng to get us into focus.👍
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That is so cool! 👍

James
 
Maybe this would be helpful in convincing people.

From the 2002 General Instruction of the Roman Missal (GIRM) approved for the USA, which can be accessed from romanrite.com/girm.html :
“45. … Even before the celebration itself, it is commendable that silence to be observed in the church, in the sacristy, in the vesting room, and in adjacent areas, so that all may dispose themselves to carry out the sacred action in a devout and fitting manner.”

Another is the first document of Vatican II, Sacrosanctum Concilium:
“30. … And at the proper times all should observe a reverent silence.”
 
John_Lilburne said:
Maybe this would be helpful in convincing people.

From the 2002 General Instruction of the Roman Missal (GIRM) approved for the USA, which can be accessed from romanrite.com/girm.html :
“45. … Even before the celebration itself, it is commendable that silence to be observed in the church, in the sacristy, in the vesting room, and in adjacent areas, so that all may dispose themselves to carry out the sacred action in a devout and fitting manner.”

Another is the first document of Vatican II, Sacrosanctum Concilium:
“30. … And at the proper times all should observe a reverent silence.”
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Pope Benedict also makes those same recommendations in his book, The Spirit of the Liturgy, and mentions silence in Sacramentum Caritatis.
 
benedictgal said:
I like the way my parochial vicar handles noise. Before Mass, he comes out and prays his office in front of the Blessed Sacrament. If there is any noise, it’s snuffed out because the moment he walks in, everyone clams up. It is really nice to see him setting the example and tryng to get us into focus.👍
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What a great example. Thanks for sharing 🙂
 
pray4peace said:
I have been going to my church for over 10 years, and have enjoyed being able to pray without disruption until recently.
I have been pretty patient with people whispering a little or shaking hands with those they see, but last week the man next to me acted like he was talking to his buddy in the parking lot very loudly I might add, leaning over the pew behind him talking to this couple all about his daughter and jobs, and their kids and it went on and on! I couldn’t believe this was happening, and I almost bolted from the church it was so bad.

Have any of you experienced this kind of thing? I am so disappointed in this kind of behavior in church. What have you done to curb this obnoxious behavior in your church?
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I have to admit, I have seen people get too chatty but luckily our priests reminded everyone to remain silent before Mass to allow people to pray. They brought this up during Mass after the homily a few times along with some other changes they made to make things more reverent.

If this happen to me and it was that bad, I would get up and move. Was this not an option?
 
I too prefer silence prior to the beginning of Mass. It gives me a chance to quietly go over the readings, set up my hymnal, or if time permits get in a quick rosary or Divine Mercy chaplet prior to the start of the liturgy.

That being said, I do have one rather amusing anecdote regarding “silence in the church.”

It was at midnight mass on Christmas Eve in 2003. For a little town parish, the place was packed, standing room only, probably 500-600 folks all in their holy day finest. The sanctuary was beautifully lit, and it was really almost a picture postcard event. Father leads us through the opening hymn, the confiteor, the readings and the gospel. The prayers are then read, and the part where Father invites us to pray for those faithful departed comes. He announced somberly, “Let us now pray.” The packed sanctuary was hushed in this sacred moment. Suddenly, from somewhere in the shoulder-to-shoulder packed pews came a sound. In the silence, it was rather loud and lingering. And…well, let’s just say whoever shattered the quiet couldn’t blame this one on the dog! 😊

It was all anyone could do to keep a straight face. You didn’t dare look at the person next to you! I’m certain Father heard it from where he was, but his composure was next to heroic! He scratched his nose a bit, I think to help bring his focus back, and then carried on as if nothing happened. The rest of the Mass went off without a hitch.

I think perhaps someone read “Make a joyful noise!” and just got carried away! 😃
 
anamchara said:
If this happen to me and it was that bad, I would get up and move. Was this not an option?
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Unfortunately, no, the church seating was pretty much taken. We have around 5,000 that attend the many Masses,our church offers every weekend. We have to get there at least 20min. ahead of time to get a seat.
I was fortunate that he did stop talking when Mass started, but I have heard talking during Mass from time to time from people.😦

I will probably let the priest know my concerns. I think it has been addressed before, because I remember he did say something to everyone sometime back. The members may need another reminder to know what is expected in church.

There are some very good replies here, thanks so much for your great kindness and advice.🙂
 
We had an ever increasing volumn of noise prior to Mass in our parish. Some of us suggested to Father that they play some soft meditative music for the five minutes or so before Mass starts to set the tone. Things quiet right down as soon as the music starts.

Yours,
Dave
 
pray4peace said:
I have been going to my church for over 10 years, and have enjoyed being able to pray without disruption until recently.
I have been pretty patient with people whispering a little or shaking hands with those they see, but last week the man next to me acted like he was talking to his buddy in the parking lot very loudly I might add, leaning over the pew behind him talking to this couple all about his daughter and jobs, and their kids and it went on and on! I couldn’t believe this was happening, and I almost bolted from the church it was so bad.

Have any of you experienced this kind of thing? I am so disappointed in this kind of behavior in church. What have you done to curb this obnoxious behavior in your church?
Click to expand...
He may not be aware that we’re not to socialize in the nave. My brother (17 at the time) would turn and put his finger to his lips and say “sh” very politely. If it continued he’d just give an obvious glance, and if it didn’t stop he’d quietly say “be quiet.”

I usually glance back just enough so they notice that I’ve noticed they’re talking. If it continues, stare them down. That never fails. When you have their attention you can give a “please be quiet” pleading sort of look, or the one that says “are you finished?” I personally go for the second. If even that doesn’t work, say (with the same volume they’re using) “this is not the room to socialize it.” These “extremes” likely will not be necessary, but they will work, almost without fail.

Bring this up to the priest and ask him if he could address it in the homily.
 
Just remember to inform/rebuke people lovingly and politely. I and many protestant converts come from protestant churches where you fellowship with others before the service starts. It is very friendly and informal. New members, visitors, people in RCIA may find the pious atmosphere a little culture shock at first. So just be polite and curteous and generous as possible when you inform them and I am sure they will understand. I think if I was rebuked harshly by someone I would have been very hurt. I would never purposely offend. But southern protestant churches are very boistrous and social before the service. I am very sensitive. So just remember to rebuke with love patience and understanding. 👍
 
deanarrca said:
Just remember to inform/rebuke people lovingly and politely.
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Yes, I totally agree, there is a right way to teach without being mean or hurtful. I know the first response sometimes is to be hard on them.

Thank you for bringing up the point that it may be a visitor or non-Catholic, and the person is clueless on what goes on in Catholic church. 👍
 
This has been a problem in our current parish, too. I have mentioned it a number of times on this forum. It is especially bad, between Sunday Masses.

We usually attend the 10:45 Mass. When we get there, the 9:00 a.m. Mass goers linger in the narthex… and just outside the Adoration Chapel… and the din is sometimes so loud… you think you’re at a sporting event. Part of the problem in our parish MIGHT be that there is no parish hall. The donuts and coffee are served right in the narthex. The children run wild, all over the place. I know that it’s been frustrating for the poor Pastor. I’ve seen and heard him “shushing” the kids.

But I’d like to know… WHERE are the parents? Don’t they know that this type of behavior is unacceptable in God’s House? It astounds me.🤷
 
Our tabernacle is not in the main area of the church , but in a chapel to the side. and I am wondering since it is not out in the church proper, that people feel they can carry on with all the talking. 🤷
 
We have a crowd of little old ladies that take care of this in my parents’ parish. They practically swoop down upon the unsuspecting violator with shushes and glares and even pinches.

😃 😛 Oh my if you could see such a sight. They work better than any dictator or priest or authority figure. They must remind people of their grandmas. And it’s accepted by the person, too! Normally, there is such a worry about offending or angering a person, but for some reason it’s normal to have a strange old lady shush you and pinch your arm! :rotfl:

I wish they would travel around…there’s a nearby parish where half the people talk all the way through Mass. I finally told the three girls in front of me to move so I could hear the Mass. They were talking in regular voices all through the readings and homily. (It’s a huge church).
 
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