Talking In Church

[Catholic4Jesus]

I notice quite often that in the sanctuary before Mass (this is in several churches that I’ve been in) instead of being quiet before the actual presence of Christ, like I feel that it should be, people are talking, texting on cell phones, I guess even in some cases, making out/kissing, and doing everything else that you would normally do at a social event. Mass is not a social event, it is a place to reflect, pray, and give ourselves up to God in worship, not a place for people to talk and chatter, in the house of God one should remain quiet and reverent in light of His presence in my mind.

 

[Ad_Orientem]

I think this is due in part to our society’s general lack of reverence (which extends to other things besides religion), but really it is a symptom of a larger problem, namely, the lack of awareness of who God is and who we are.

This is both reflected and fostered by the constant noise and entertainment orientation of modern culture. It must also be in some measure the fault of some clergy who want the Church to be a mere humanitarian organization (which Pope Francis recently warned against), and who try to make the faith into something trendy.

The more we try to make the faith trendy, the more we lose its contents, because things like God’s holiness and man’s sinfulness are not trendy. Such realities, when we are aware of them, make us stop and reflect, and hopefully change for the better. Which the world, the flesh, and the devil really don’t want to happen.

 

[pollycarp]

I was taught by the sisters as a child that we just did not talk in church. We silently prayed back then - imagine that. I’ve found Jose Marie Escriva’s quote helpful: “Don’t say that person bothers me, think that person sanctifies me”.

 

[pkrjenkins]

Talking in church is not a huge problem at the church I attend, but it was a little problem - enough that someone put a suggestion in our Suggestion Box. Father had some bulletins printed asking everyone as they enter the sanctuary to be quiet, prayerful, and mindful of everyone else who is praying. He also announced the suggestion and explained it at a couple of Sunday Masses. As I said, it wasn’t a huge problem before, but it is even less of a problem now.

I am newly received into full communion with the Catholic Church, and one of the things that drew me to the Church was the quiet reverence I found upon entering.

 

[CarolNoel]

Prjenkins Great comments, but don’t you think you could now change your religion to Catholic? Love and hugs and God Bless.

 

[Brandall]

I notice quite often that in the sanctuary before Mass (this is in several churches that I’ve been in) instead of being quiet before the actual presence of Christ, like I feel that it should be, people are talking, texting on cell phones, I guess even in some cases, making out/kissing, and doing everything else that you would normally do at a social event. Mass is not a social event, it is a place to reflect, pray, and give ourselves up to God in worship, not a place for people to talk and chatter, in the house of God one should remain quiet and reverent in light of His presence in my mind.

I can’t say I’ve never been bothered by such but I’ve pretty much been able to overcome it all. It just takes a bit more concentration and remembering that I can only control myself.

I focus a bit more, ignoring the chatters, texters, crying babies, those that bolt the church as soon as communion is over etc. I just concentrate and enjoy my special time with the lord in his house.

Admittedly, it doesn’t always work but usually it does.

 

[Fairwinds]

… It just takes a bit more concentration and remembering that I can only control myself.
…

I refocus using the Jesus Prayer our Orthodox friends use.

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God,
have mercy on me, the sinner

that can be said endlessly, breathing in and breathing out.

 

[maryjk]

I notice quite often that in the sanctuary before Mass (this is in several churches that I’ve been in) instead of being quiet before the actual presence of Christ, like I feel that it should be, people are talking, texting on cell phones, I guess even in some cases,** making out/kissing**, and doing everything else that you would normally do at a social event. Mass is not a social event, it is a place to reflect, pray, and give ourselves up to God in worship, not a place for people to talk and chatter, in the house of God one should remain quiet and reverent in light of His presence in my mind.

I have to say, that in all of the parishes I have been to, pretty much all over the country, I have NEVER seen anyone “making out.”

So, no, it has never been a problem for me.

 

[Fairwinds]

I have to say, that in all of the parishes I have been to, pretty much all over the country, I have NEVER seen anyone “making out.”

So, no, it has never been a problem for me.

I’ve heard its a Mormon thing.

 

[pollycarp]

I have to say, that in all of the parishes I have been to, pretty much all over the country, I have NEVER seen anyone “making out.”

So, no, it has never been a problem for me.

He probably means something like what I’ve seen - Not kissing but shoulder caressing, stroking the other’s back.

 

[Tigg]

I think the social hall atmosphere is largely due to an inordinate emphasis on community, and in our parish, it is the direction we’ve been led by our current pastor who tells us we must build up community. Now, there’s nothing wrong with that unless it diminishes the sacrificial nature of the Mass, but I have to wonder how many sitting in the pews are really cognizant of the Real Presence before them. I also believe some priests try to make the liturgy all things to all people and the sense of the mystical is lost with the general bonhomie.

 

[opus101]

Sometimes the environment invites this type of behavior. There is a certain lack of beauty and sacredness about many of our church interiors today. My soon-to-be-old parish is more like a comfy house interior, with muted teal carpeting, highly cushy padded upholstered pews. wainscoting, blank walls, clear glass windows…practically nothing that would remind you that you are in a sacred place. There is no tabernacle in the sanctuary, etc., etc.

A lot of the relatively newer churches around here are like this, and even some of the beautiful older ones have been “renovated” to be similar.

It is hard to stir up devotion when you have to swim against the tide.

 

[HeatherNoel72]

I have the same issue with people talking during mass, only the issue is with my daughter. She treats it as social hour and no matter what I do to try to correct it, even trying to seat us away from others toward the back and warning her before we walk in that while we are inside she MUST be respectful of others and reverent in the presence of God, she always ends up catching the eye of another child nearby and the giggles and games ensue.

Last Sunday, I resorted to physically holding her hands down and scolding her (quietly, in her ear) because the man next to us was shooting us dirty looks and she was disrupting me and others from prayer. The mother of two little boys in front of us did nothing to turn them around and make them sit still and stop playing.

I don’t want my daughter (10 years old) to feel as if going to mass is some sort of prelude to punishment, but I don’t know how to get her to settle down for that short hour (which to her feels like an eternity). After last Sunday’s incident, I apologized to the mother in front of us for my daughter getting her boys (who were younger, 3 and 5) wound up and she just brushed it off with “Oh, it’s ok, they’re always like that.” I felt defeated and briefly wished children were not allowed to attend mass.

It should be noted that we are relatively new in this parish (7 months) and still do not really know anyone beyond the church secretary. I have been a single mother since 2005 and her father, who has shared custody, has tried to raise her at first as a Satanist (which he is - I only found that out after we were married as he married me under false pretense), and then as an agnostic. I was finally allowed to start bringing her to church last year and it’s been a real test for everyone involved. Also come to find out, the cry room is very strictly restricted to infants and toddlers so she is too old to go there.

Another incident… Her first time going to mass with me, she had asked me what they were doing during the Eucharist. I briefly explained it to her after we were dismissed and, while still in the pew waiting to leave, her eyes grew wide and she shouted out, “CANNIBALS!!!” I turned 16 shades of red and was mortified. We didn’t go back for a month after that

I guess my followup question after the OP’s observation is how can I instill better graces into my child so that she is not a disruption to everyone around us for that one hour a week?

Desperately,
Heather

 

[maryjk]

He probably means something like what I’ve seen - Not kissing but shoulder caressing, stroking the other’s back.

I guess then I have been “making out” in church too.

Yep, when my husband attends Mass with me, he holds my hand. He might even rest his hand on my leg. And sometimes, when he puts his arm around me, he moves his hand up and down. :bigyikes: And when we come to the sign of peace, he will actually kiss me and give me a hug. :hug3:

If that offends anyone, tough luck.

 

[Catholic4Jesus]

I can’t say I’ve never been bothered by such but I’ve pretty much been able to overcome it all. It just takes a bit more concentration and remembering that I can only control myself.

I focus a bit more, ignoring the chatters, texters, crying babies, those that bolt the church as soon as communion is over etc. I just concentrate and enjoy my special time with the lord in his house.

Admittedly, it doesn’t always work but usually it does.

It’s not a matter of getting over it, it’s a matter of “this should not happen here.”

 

[johnthebaptist1]

I to beleive that their should be no talking once you enter the main prat of the church,but their are some people that must thing it is a chatting place,before Mass. Once somone enters their,kneels at the pew,than he should begin to pray,and talk to Jesus,which I do, I go at least a half hr before, so that no one will interfer.

 

[PatriceA]

I guess then I have been “making out” in church too.

Yep, when my husband attends Mass with me, he holds my hand. He might even rest his hand on my leg. And sometimes, when he puts his arm around me, he moves his hand up and down. :bigyikes: And when we come to the sign of peace, he will actually kiss me and give me a hug. :hug3:

If that offends anyone, tough luck.

Same here.

There is some talking before Mass at my parish. And I have a tendency to give more leeway to the older parishoners that have hearing problems and are set in their ways so to speak. I don’t think they realize how loud they are speaking sometimes. I don’t mind the occasional whisper either. Usually an usher will intervene if there is too much gabbing going on in the pews.

 

[Brendan_64]

IAnd when we come to the sign of peace, he will actually kiss me and give me a hug. :hug3:

If that offends anyone, tough luck.

It’s not a case of others being offended, it’s a case of what is appropriate behaviour when we go to worship God in communion with others.

And does he kiss and hug the other members of the congregation around him during the sign of peace? I always thought that the purpose of giving the sign of peace was to demonstrate your respect, goodwill and communion with those who worship in communion with you. I don’t think it was intended to enable people to demonstrate shows of particular personal love and affection towards one person over another.

When we come to worship, we worship as a community of believers bonded as equals. Demonstrating particular affection in this ways can create a barrier between yourselves and those around you. A bit like individual families holding hands together during the Our Father. It is a bit like saying, “This is our special unit”. When we worship at Mass, we do so as a community, not as little cliques.

That is my opinion anyway.

 

[PatriceA]

It’s not a case of others being offended, it’s a case of what is appropriate behaviour when we go to worship God in communion with others.

And does he kiss and hug the other members of the congregation around him during the sign of peace? I always thought that the purpose of giving the sign of peace was to demonstrate your respect, goodwill and communion with those who worship in communion with you. I don’t think it was intended to enable people to demonstrate shows of particular personal love and affection towards one person over another.

When we come to worship, we worship as a community of believers bonded as equals. Demonstrating particular affection in this ways can create a barrier between yourselves and those around you. A bit like individual families holding hands together during the Our Father. It is a bit like saying, “This is our special unit”. When we worship at Mass, we do so as a community, not as little cliques.

That is my opinion anyway.

The sign of peace and what is and isn’t acceptable has been debated on CAF many, many times.

My opinion, growing up and seeing older couples kiss at the sign of peace was one of the best witnesses of a strong Catholic marriage that a young person could ever have. And they didn’t even have to say a word, but I knew I wanted a marriage some day like they displayed to all around them.

 

[maryjk]

It’s not a case of others being offended, it’s a case of what is appropriate behaviour when we go to worship God in communion with others.

And does he kiss and hug the other members of the congregation around him during the sign of peace?

Nope, he isn’t married to anyone else. Just me.

I always thought that the purpose of giving the sign of peace was to demonstrate your respect, goodwill and communion with those who worship in communion with you. I don’t think it was intended to enable people to demonstrate shows of particular personal love and affection towards one person over another.

When we come to worship, we worship as a community of believers bonded as equals. Demonstrating particular affection in this ways can create a barrier between yourselves and those around you. A bit like individual families holding hands together during the Our Father. It is a bit like saying, “This is our special unit”.

Um, it is. We are married. In the eyes of the Church, that is a good thing.

When we worship at Mass, we do so as a community, not as little cliques.

So, tell me. Do you sit with your family? If you do, and for some reason you don’t all walk in together, does the person coming in later, sit with you? If so, why? Shouldn’t you just sit where ever?

That is my opinion anyway.

:tiphat:

I just don’t agree with you.