Talking in lobby during Communion

[CarmeliteGirl25]

Today, during Mass, I had to excuse myself for the bathroom during Communion. The restrooms are in the lobby of the Church. I couldn’t believe the sight back there! People were talking with friends and family like it was ‘visiting hour’ or ‘social hall’ or something! There was no reverence whatsoever! Nobody was kneeling and I saw very few people praying. They were all talking. I must say I was absolutely astonished and horrified at the lack of reverence given. Even the ushers were back there chatting away with the parishioners. This is the first time I’ve EVER been back there as I try to remain in the Church during Mass, unless it’s an emergency. I know the ‘cry room’ is the lobby (we don’t have one specifically, just makeshift areas), but it seems that people think that because that area is not necessarily the Church (per se) that it is OK to talk back there. When I came back from the restroom, I told my mother what I had seen, and we could both hear the talking coming from the back of the Church.

I’m very disappointed about this. I don’t know what to do. I feel like writing to our parish priest to explain what I witnessed. I thought the ushers were supposed to assist with the flow of the Mass and parishioners, not encourage chatting, but my mom said that she once had an usher tell her that was the only reason he was an usher–so he could chat with everyone!

If I write a letter, what do I say? I think the Eucharist should be respected, and so should the Mass. I’m worried that last week was the precursor to bad behavior because our parish priest said that one woman said that she had never been greeted in Church so he had everyone turn (at the beginning of Mass) and say ‘Hello’ to one another. I did not participate.

What do you think?

 

[Zea_mays]

i would go to the bathroom before mass.

 

[teachccd]

I always sit in the first few pews and so I also never paid any attention to what goes on behind me. Then there came the time that I’ll never forget. I was with my confirmation kids at a youth Mass that they are required to attend. By the time I rounded up all of the kids Mass had already started. Since I had two in my group stay in the vestibule I stayed back there with them. OH, for crying out loud. I experienced exactly what you described. It was absolutely unbelievable. In reality when I was an extraordinary minister of Holy Communion we would go back there and I saw the disruption but I never let it sink in as much as that time.

What can be done? You know it is very discouraging. I am fifty years old and I can still remember when Mass was solemn and no one talked even in the Church. Ladies covered their heads and men wore suits. Now I have to wonder if anyone even realizes what the Mass is? We’ve given in to wearing anything (what a distraction when some girl in front if me is wearing short shorts), talking all through the Mass, clapping for anything, and liturgies that seem to be an attraction rather than the re-presentation of the Paschal Mystery.

I’m not sure that you are going to find an answer to this. We lack heavily in catechesis and proper Mass etiquette. You can speak with your pastor and maybe the head usher but good luck. I know that I wasn’t any help but at least you know that I share in your frustration. I’m anxious to hear the other posters. Perhaps they have a remedy. God bless…teachccd

 

[teachccd]

i would go to the bathroom before mass.

Now there’s a remedy!

 

[SMHW]

Were these people who were attending/ushering at the current Mass?

I know that at my parish the vestibule tends to be a place where people congregate when they already have attended Mass or are planning to attend a later Mass. Most of the people are out there with young children but some are not there to attend Mass in the first place.

 

[CarmeliteGirl25]

i would go to the bathroom before mass.

I always go before I leave the house, and that is usually sufficient, but today, my stomach was disagreeing with me.

 

[CarmeliteGirl25]

I’m not sure that you are going to find an answer to this. We lack heavily in catechesis and proper Mass etiquette. You can speak with your pastor and maybe the head usher but good luck. I know that I wasn’t any help but at least you know that I share in your frustration. I’m anxious to hear the other posters. Perhaps they have a remedy. God bless…teachccd

I agree. There seems to be a lack of reverence and respect for the Real Presence in every Catholic Church. Even when I attended an EF Mass 2 weeks ago, I witnessed a lay man going behind the altar during the Consecration several times (I don’t know what he was doing ).

(sigh) I don’t know. I’m probably focusing too much on the externals, but I really don’t like the lack of respect. I’m no better than anyone else, though, because I honestly didn’t know what the True Presence was before my reversion in 2007.

I may write a letter, but I may not. I’ll pray about it. God bless.

 

[CarmeliteGirl25]

Were these people who were attending/ushering at the current Mass?

I know that at my parish the vestibule tends to be a place where people congregate when they already have attended Mass or are planning to attend a later Mass. Most of the people are out there with young children but some are not there to attend Mass in the first place.

The incident was during Mass, so I doubt that it was people who had already attended Mass. Also, this was the last Mass of the day, so it couldn’t be people waiting either.

 

[Phemie]

What can be done? You know it is very discouraging. I am fifty years old and I can still remember when Mass was solemn and no one talked even in the Church. Ladies covered their heads and men wore suits. Now I have to wonder if anyone even realizes what the Mass is?

I’m of the same era (I’m 55) and while what you say is true, it was also the era that saw the men leave to go have a cigarette on the steps during the sermon so not everyone was so focused.

 

[SMHW]

The incident was during Mass, so I doubt that it was people who had already attended Mass. Also, this was the last Mass of the day, so it couldn’t be people waiting either.

I’m just saying I often hang out in the vestibule while waiting to pick up my daughter from Mass. (I will have attended the earlier Mass when the choir sings.) And I frequently see people who I know are not attending the current Mass because I saw them at the Mass I attended. It’s obvious to me that some of the people are visitors who have arrived early for the baptisms that are scheduled an hour or so after Mass. (They are always dressed better than the regular parishioners.)

 

[FickleFreckled]

Phemie, I remember that. And more attention being paid to what other people were wearing than the Mass because people were dressed to the hilt. And people saying the rosary all through Mass. It only looked as though things were more reverent back then.

I usually sit in the side chapel. There aren’t really more little ones in there; it just seems like it because it’s a small space. Two couples regularly let their toddlers run up and down the aisle and make noise. Two weeks ago an adult woman took a cell phone call and said in a normal tone of voice, “I can’t talk…I can’t talk.” Despite the fact that we ALL glared at her, she didn’t turn the phone off and it rang again.
So then she goes out in the hallway, near the open door leading into the main sanctuary and talks on the cell. The pastor looks up and asks someone to shut the door. STILL she doesn’t get it…what a maroon…

 

[kage_ar]

If the chatting and visiting in the foyer can be heard inside, there should be signs up and the ushers should remind people to keep voices low. If the foyer is the overflow for a packed mass, same as above.

However, there is no rule that says a room that touches the Church must have the same silence as is expected inside. If that is the case, where do you draw the line? No talking within 30 feet of the back doors? What about the outside walls that border the parking lot - we should not add rules where none is needed.

 

[teachccd]

I’m of the same era (I’m 55) and while what you say is true, it was also the era that saw the men leave to go have a cigarette on the steps during the sermon so not everyone was so focused.

No. I’m sure that even at the Last Supper there may have been distractions. We are humans and no one is perfect. But today you’d have to admit that the respect has been lowered since just a few decades ago.

 

[teachccd]

If the chatting and visiting in the foyer can be heard inside, there should be signs up and the ushers should remind people to keep voices low. If the foyer is the overflow for a packed mass, same as above.

However, there is no rule that says a room that touches the Church must have the same silence as is expected inside. If that is the case, where do you draw the line? No talking within 30 feet of the back doors? What about the outside walls that border the parking lot - we should not add rules where none is needed.

In my post #3 above I stated that this happened with those who attended the Mass. How do I know? Because all the talkers went up for Communion. They were not visitors or those waiting for the next Mass. Where do we draw the line? Apparantly that remains obscure since people chatter in the first few pews during the readings and the Eucharistic Prayer. Yes, if 30 feet of the back doors shows the respect due to our Lord then so be it…teachccd

 

[Nowhere_Man]

Were these people who were attending/ushering at the current Mass?

I know that at my parish the vestibule tends to be a place where people congregate when they already have attended Mass or are planning to attend a later Mass. Most of the people are out there with young children but some are not there to attend Mass in the first place.

Does it matter if they were there to attend Mass or not? Shouldn’t reverence be given to the Consecration and to the Eucharist regardless if they were attending or not?

 

[Southerncross]

Its a problem here in Australia too - if anything its worse, in my parish church communicants ( not all ) receive Our Lord & then - still in the main body of the church - chatter loudly at the rear. The priest doesn`t bat an eyelid.
:knight2:

 

[Cat]

If the chatting and visiting in the foyer can be heard inside, there should be signs up and the ushers should remind people to keep voices low. If the foyer is the overflow for a packed mass, same as above.

However, there is no rule that says a room that touches the Church must have the same silence as is expected inside. If that is the case, where do you draw the line? No talking within 30 feet of the back doors? What about the outside walls that border the parking lot - we should not add rules where none is needed.

This makes sense.

It’s the LOBBY! This is where people are supposed to have fellowship and be friendly and practice Christian love towards one another.

What’s next? First the traditionalist Catholics say no talking in the nave before OR after Mass.

Now it’s no talking in the lobby before or after Mass.

Pretty soon it will be no talking anywhere in the church building before or after Mass.

And eventually no talking in the parking lot before or after Mass. BTW, parking lot chatter is quite dependent upon the weather and of course, upon traffic patterns. It’s not safe or realistic to suggest that people carry on their conversations in the parking lot.

AND–our parish has a 24-hour Adoration Chapel in the Parking Lot, right next to the School PLAYGROUND. Should we tell all the children to be quiet so close to Jesus?

Where else do you suggest that Christians enjoy friendly talk? Down at the local bar?

Do you realize that to Protestants who are visiting your church, that friendly chatter in the lobby is the sign to them that this truly IS a Christian Church? They know nothing of Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament. Baby steps. The Bible says “Precept upon precept.”

Draw people in first with loving greetings and small talk. Then teach the various doctrines of the Church. This is the model of evangelization that Jesus used when He held the conversation with the Samaritan woman at the well.

There are other ways to show reverence to Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament than just being silent.

There is nothing disrespectful about exchanging friendly greetings and chatting with friends and allowing little ones to be little ones out in the LOBBY! A friendly, loving atmosphere in the LOBBY is a good thing in this present day and age when people are much more isolated from one another than they were back in the “good old days.”

 

[zab]

I’ve never heard the term “lobby” used as a part of a church. The area where people enter the church is called the vestibule.

 

[KarenElissa]

Now it’s no talking in the lobby before or after Mass.

The issue is that it isn’t before or after Mass though, it is during Mass, and they are loud enough that they can be heard inside the church proper during a time in the Mass when we are supposed to be praying quietly.

 

[TheDoctor]

OK, just to be picky, I don’t think it is a vestibule or lobby or foyer:
The area of the Church where the faithful gather for Mass is the nave.

If there is a separate area outside of the nave but still within the Church, it is the narthex.

The issue comes with what is generally allowed and not allowed in the narthex. In my humble opinion:

If the doors from the narthex to the nave are open, the whole thing is the nave and you behave as if you were in the front pew.

If the doors are made of or contain glass such that those in the narthex can see Mass going on, they should use respectful control (i.e. if I take my screaming 2 year old into the narthex to calm him down, that does not give me the right to let him run crazy).

If the doors are solid, you are not part of Mass, however, you should remain mindful of what is going on behind those doors (i.e. if I need to be in the narthex during Mass collecting food for the poor, I should wait for Mass to be over before throwing the cans into boxes).
​

Let’s try to put some good out of a horrible situation. I would speak to your Pastor. This would make an excellent teaching point for a homily or bulletin notice. Obviously those in the narthex do not know, so we can either complain about their ignorance or teach them in charity.