Talking in the Church

[LCOAM]

Hello. I am looking for some advice on how to talk with my pastor about the amount of talking before and after Holy Mass. I take my kids to Mass and explain how we don’t talk in there because of Jesus’ presence and the need for silence to prepare for Mass and make a thanksgiving. At the church I belong to people practically yell across the church before and after Mass. I feel like there are places (foyers) at the church for that. Am I wrong?
Thanks,
Sandy

 

[Bergon]

Hello. I am looking for some advice on how to talk with my pastor about the amount of talking before and after Holy Mass. I take my kids to Mass and explain how we don’t talk in there because of Jesus’ presence and the need for silence to prepare for Mass and make a thanksgiving. At the church I belong to people practically yell across the church before and after Mass. I feel like there are places (foyers) at the church for that. Am I wrong?
Thanks,
Sandy

Sandy I totally empathise with you. What is the solution to this problem? I wish I knew. May be our souls would be at more peace if we prayed for the strength to bear this type of situation because I can’t see it stopping.

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

It’s very hard to control what other people do, only what you do and your response to them.

I understand wanting quiet time before Mass. But you can’t force people to stop greeting each other and catching up. If your priest makes an announcement it might have an effect for a bit, but things will go back to normal and you’ll still have to deal with it.

I’m fortunate in that I’m pretty well able to tune things out and focus on my prayer. The noise in the background blends into what I think is praise of God, people coming together to worship and pray together, and that’s a beautiful thing.

 

[westNwewaxation]

Hello. I am looking for some advice on how to talk with my pastor about the amount of talking before and after Holy Mass. I take my kids to Mass and explain how we don’t talk in there because of Jesus’ presence and the need for silence to prepare for Mass and make a thanksgiving. At the church I belong to people practically yell across the church before and after Mass. I feel like there are places (foyers) at the church for that. Am I wrong?
Thanks,
Sandy

I also feel your pain. There’s a place and a time for chit-chat and “catching up”. I have encountered this before, and my 2 suggestions would be 1) sometimes the earlier morning Masses are quieter, and 2) find another parish. You could also talk to your pastor, but I’m thinking the odds are he already knows what is happening and if he had a problem with it he would’ve already said so. Just my thoughts for whatever they’re worth - God bless.

 

[twopekinguys]

It’s very hard to control what other people do, only what you do and your response to them.

I understand wanting quiet time before Mass. But you can’t force people to stop greeting each other and catching up. If your priest makes an announcement it might have an effect for a bit, but things will go back to normal and you’ll still have to deal with it.

I’m fortunate in that I’m pretty well able to tune things out and focus on my prayer. The noise in the background blends into what I think is praise of God, people coming together to worship and pray together, and that’s a beautiful thing.

I like this!! Very well put.

It took me a while, but, I have come to realize that talking in church is only loud when someone else is doing it.

 

[Bonnie]

Don’t be surprised if your priest blows off your concerns. Most priests aren’t bothered by all the chatting & noise because they come in with the entrance hymn and leave with the recessional.

It’s the rare priest who is willing to tell people to hush. I’ve long wanted to post a sign on the doors of the church: “My house is a house of prayer. Isaiah 56:7, Matthew 21:13, Mark 11:17, Luke 19:46”

 

[Efrasios]

You are very right in what you say!!!

This is a serious problem, when you think that before Vatican II nobody would talk in Church at all and there was on whole a much deeper and Holy respect for the Church as the home of Our Lord truly present in the Tabernacle. If you go to a Traditional Parish or to a Traditional Latin Mass you won’t get talking like that.

However there are some things that have to be taken into account. I am working as a Pastoral Assisting in a parish and I have come across some things for example many lonely and elderly people come to Church alone and don’t meet or speak to any friendly person all week long & their only social life is at Church- I am sure Our Lord understands their desire to talk to somebody. In the same way some people are deaf and do speak loudly. Some people like you have young children who don’t understand or just can’t be silent- Our Lord understands that. We have a huge traveller (gypsy) population in our parish and they can be very noisy and vocal in Church at times and it can be very annoying to those who wish to pray and at times they might say rude or inappropriate things without realising, but, surely it’s better they come to Mass and do that than not come at all! I know some people are very strict on this matter, I understand, but having said that Our Lord in the Tabernacle is a loving and most understanding Lord.

Yes. talking in Church is not a good thing and it can be very annoying and disrupt us when we are in the presence of Our Lord in the Tabernacle but we must remember that he is all loving and understanding. Some people (not you) are so rigid and judgemental towards other people who yes do inappropriate things in Church but often through innocence and misunderstanding.

 

[ellzeena]

This drives me to DISTRACTION also!!! AND they do it in chapel in front of the Monstrance, too! OY!

As another member posted: I grew up in the Latin rite. No one said a word in church above an extremely muted whisper and only when necessary. I attended Sunday Mass with my class (Catholic school) and the nuns made sure we were totally silent (trust me!) I am greatly offended by unnecessary chatter (and I hear an awful lot of gossiping which really bothers me.)

I guess it’s up to your pastor. I know one church in my area where a new pastor was assigned. Two of the very first things he did were: instruct the congregation that they could expect every single Mass to last one hour; instruct the congregation that they were there to participate in the Eucharist and not for any other purpose, nor would it be tolerated. He lost a lot of parishioners. He gained an awful lot of respect from the rest of them.

Maybe time to look for another parish?

 

[Sunbreak]

You’re not wrong. Church is not party time. I noticed that it’s quieter in the movie theater before a movie starts than in many churches. It’s sad.

 

[CDB1718]

Your questions is how to talk to your pastor about this. I think a polite inquiry like the one you posted here as to what can be done to meet all the people’s needs should find you with a workable solution.

If he doesn’t think it is appropriate to keep people in the parish from talking in the church proper for some reason, he will probably be happy to place signs on the door of the chapel to say it is a quiet room of prayer so all calls or conversations should be taken outside. If not that then something else.

Present the problem, listen to his feedback then brainstorm on solutions.

 

[Topaz1128]

Your questions is how to talk to your pastor about this. I think a polite inquiry like the one you posted here as to what can be done to meet all the people’s needs should find you with a workable solution.

If he doesn’t think it is appropriate to keep people in the parish from talking in the church proper for some reason, he will probably be happy to place signs on the door of the chapel to say it is a quiet room of prayer so all calls or conversations should be taken outside. If not that then something else.

Present the problem, listen to his feedback then brainstorm on solutions.

I agree. I pray that it goes well with your pastor.