Talking/Sin

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I was talking to two people today, and one of them was really annoying me. As that person left, I started to say some negative things about them to the other person. There was a little part of me that didn’t want to do it, but I didn’t really spend much time thinking about what I was going to say. I just kind of said the things pretty quickly in the heat of the moment. It’s not that I just said it accidentally, but I wasn’t thinking that much about what was right or wrong. A small part of me knew, but I was already so caught up in what i was saying, that it was really hard to pay attention to it. I’m pretty scrupulous, and this is bugging me because I just went to Confession a little while ago. Did I commit a mortal sin?
 
I was talking to two people today, and one of them was really annoying me. As that person left, I started to say some negative things about them to the other person. There was a little part of me that didn’t want to do it, but I didn’t really spend much time thinking about what I was going to say. I just kind of said the things pretty quickly in the heat of the moment. It’s not that I just said it accidentally, but I wasn’t thinking that much about what was right or wrong. A small part of me knew, but I was already so caught up in what i was saying, that it was really hard to pay attention to it. I’m pretty scrupulous, and this is bugging me because I just went to Confession a little while ago. Did I commit a mortal sin?
No you did not commit a serious Mortal Sin. Sins like swearing, cussing or using vulgar language in the anger of the moment are usually venial sins as long as the Lord’s Holy name isn’t involved.

Your sincere intention of going to Sacramental Confessional to see a priest has absolved you of your anger.

Your not alone, sometimes we all lose are cool from time to time. We all hopefully learn from these experiences by accepting the insults from others by turning the other cheek.

Pray for those who do us wrong.
 
But I was saying some really unkind things about the person, and I’ve heard that that’s a mortal sin.
 
Bump -Sorry, its just I need some imput by tomorrow, and my scrupulosity makes it hard to tell
 
You have to judge what happened at the time you said whatever. Or see your “regular confessor” since you mention scruples…

To commit a mortal sin one needs grave matter, full knowledge and complete consent.

At the same time…

Compendium of Catechism issued by Pope Benedict XVI:
  1. When does one commit a mortal sin?
1855-1861
1874

One commits a mortal sin when there are simultaneously present: grave matter, full knowledge, and deliberate consent. This sin destroys charity in us, deprives us of sanctifying grace, and, if unrepented, leads us to the eternal death of hell. It can be forgiven in the ordinary way by means of the sacraments of Baptism and of Penance or Reconciliation.
  1. When does one commit a venial sin?
1862-1864
1875

One commits a venial sin, which is essentially different from a mortal sin, when the matter involved is less serious or, even if it is grave, when full knowledge or complete consent are absent. Venial sin does not break the covenant with God but it weakens charity and manifests a disordered affection for created goods. It impedes the progress of a soul in the exercise of the virtues and in the practice of moral good. It merits temporal punishment which purifies.
 
But…didn’t Jesus do just that when he overturned the tables and scattered the coins at the temple? Does that mean he committed a venial sin?
No he did not. His was justified anger…and it was his Fathers house! (and he was not using bad language…)
 
If you struggle with scruples it is best you discuss with your regular confessor some principles for you to follow…in addition to his direction in confession per se.

Such is the age old way to go…
 
That makes sense… Except I wasn’t really in a rage, like I wasn’t out of control and couldn’t think. I just got ticked off and said a lot of bad things about the person, without really paying attention to the little feeling I had that it was wrong.
 
For the future…

One has to judge the nature of the matter at hand. Are the words detraction or calumnity? Or are they justified? Are they serious things…or small matters…etc.
 
That makes sense… Except I wasn’t really in a rage, like I wasn’t out of control and couldn’t think. I just got ticked off and said a lot of bad things about the person, without really paying attention to the little feeling I had that it was wrong.
Well you have to judge. Or perhaps speak with ones confessor.

(also note that Sometimes there can be justified “seeking consolation” or counsel from a prudent person which can involve even discussing a persons faults…if one has an objectively valid reason…)

(or was it some angry words?..but not detractive? Like “man he is such a jerk” “I can not believe he had the nerve to say that…” like to the person who was just witnessing what happened?)

But you have to look back (seeking to quiet any scruple) as what you did then and there …

It is really hard for me to tell ya.
 
So saying little things like “He’s such a jerk” or things to that effect, while still sinful, are not as sinful as detraction (e.g. " He likes to kick puppies in his free time.") ?
 
So saying little things like “He’s such a jerk” or things to that effect, while still sinful, are not as sinful as detraction (e.g. " He likes to kick puppies in his free time.") ?
Wow he kicks puppies in his free time?

One can sin in speech in various ways…including saying “he is a jerk” in various degrees.

As to detraction:

Detraction is saying “you know he’s a secret homosexual” when he is.

Or it is calumny if he is not and your lying.
 
I wasn’t really in a rage, like I wasn’t out of control and couldn’t think. I just got ticked off and said a lot of bad things about the person, without really paying attention to the little feeling I had that it was wrong.
Eph 4:29-30
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

The word *unwholesome *in v 29 of Eph in the Greek is literally translated rotten, worthless, bad, corrupt. This kind of treatment toward others is a serious offense against God. It harms us by stirring up more uncharitable feelings within us, and can also stir up anger, resentment, and dissension among God’s people. Dissension among brothers is listed in Proverbs 6:19 as something God hates. I would definitely not assume that your conscience is bothering you because you are scrupulous. Gossip and rumor–whether true or not–are not small matters to be winked at at trivial; and we will all give account before God for every careless word we have spoken as promised in Matt 12:36-37.

That being established, most of us, myself included, have said cruel or hurtful things about others in a heated moment or a time of frustration. I didn’t quote the above passages to make you feel terrible–but only to make clear that sinning with our mouths is something God takes very seriously. If you are frustrated with someone, try to discuss it with the Lord Himself. If you have just cause for your anger, remember the Lord is perfect in justice and He is the answer to what bothers you. If you must talk to someone, confide in someone who is poised to listen with confidentiality, objectivity, one sensitive to your feelings, but also capable of giving you good counsel as to how to deal with your frustration in a more productive way. As I said, I don’t think any of us can claim complete innocence in this area. And the scripture itself encourages us that if we hear something about ourselves that someone else may have said–that we shouldn’t take it too much to heart–because we know ourselves-- that we, too, have committed such offenses against others: Eccl 7:21-22: Also do not take to heart everything people say,Lest you hear your servant cursing you. For many times, also, your own heart has known That even you have cursed others.

I hope this helps. God bless:)
 
Of course getting angry at person to another person yes can thus reflect in negative way upon that person…even when someone does not “detract” with information…

We want to avoid such…not to mention any sinful anger.

Remember too in the “heat of the moment” as you say…we can say stupid things…and the “heat of the moment” may even reduce our culpability.

As I noted you have to judge.

Anyhow discuss with your confessor he knows you and can help further.
 
I should mention that in saying these things, I was kind of trying to convince the other person to not like the person. I know if I had stopped and thought for a few seconds, I probably wouldn’t have said these things, but from what I’ve seen, trying to negatively affect someone’s opinion of someone is a mortal sin. The only issue I have here is figuring out what consent I gave.

The only reason I’m mentioning all of this is that I won’t be able to talk to my confessor about this right away.
 
I was talking to two people today, and one of them was really annoying me. As that person left, I started to say some negative things about them to the other person. There was a little part of me that didn’t want to do it, but I didn’t really spend much time thinking about what I was going to say. I just kind of said the things pretty quickly in the heat of the moment. It’s not that I just said it accidentally, but I wasn’t thinking that much about what was right or wrong. A small part of me knew, but I was already so caught up in what i was saying, that it was really hard to pay attention to it. I’m pretty scrupulous, and this is bugging me because I just went to Confession a little while ago. Did I commit a mortal sin?
I think centurionguard answered this question adequately. However, as a fellow scrupulous person, I would recommend going to confession at least once a week, if not more, to the same confessor that you find most helpful. This way, he can help you to determine what is and isn’t a sin, and, most importantly, what is and isn’t a Mortal sin! I would honestly go everyday if I could, so if you’ve been given such a grace by our Lord, do so without hesitation!
 
I realized my original post was a little misleading…
The other person I was talking to is friends with the ‘annoying’ person. In saying the unkind things, I was trying to get the person to see how annoying I thought the person was. Something would pop into my head, I’d say it really quick, then a litle part of me would think “Maybe I shouldn’t have said that”. Then someone would say something about him, and I’d just say the first thing that came to mind. I was trying to show people what I thought of him, but I was talking before I really thought about it. As soon as I was done, I thought “Oh no, I hope that wasn’t a mortal sin.” I’m asking here because I won’t be able to talk to a confessor right away, and I need to know pretty quickly.
 
So saying little things like “He’s such a jerk” or things to that effect, while still sinful, are not as sinful as detraction (e.g. " He likes to kick puppies in his free time.") ?
Jesus said some pretty harsh things about His enemies - ‘whited sepulchers’, ‘hypocrites’, ‘brood of vipers’ and the like. He even called Peter Satan - now that’s pretty strong stuff.

So it’s certainly not as black and white as ‘never say anything uncomplimentary about someone’.
 
So I’ve thought about it, and I’m think about it like this; Is it safe to say that:
  1. Mortal - Saying something after having a few seconds to think about it, and knowing its wrong.
  2. Venial - Saying something quickly while having a small nagging feeling that maybe you shouldn’t.
  3. None - Saying something without giving any thought to it.
 
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