Talking to a priest

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Julie_de_Sales

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I’m looking forward to a meeting with my parish priest for spiritual counsel, but I tend to become very emotional when I talk about certain problems and I know I will have to bring them up. I would feel embarrassed if I would start crying in front of him, especially since we don’t really know each other.
Did this ever happened to you and should I just get over it? What could I do in order to keep my composure?
 
I have to admit that some men, even professionsals, get flustered when women start to cry. Just do your best to try to stay as calm as possible, even if your tears are rolling down, try not to sob, if possible. You can also excuse yourself for a moment to allow both of you to recover.

Another option might be to write and perhaps even send ahead the upsetting details, if tou can handle that. It may be that you can avoid crying if you don’t have to actually say the details out loud.

I say this as a woman who has doctors write on her chart not to mention X, which I get emotional about.

:gopray: (Edited to fix emoticon gone wrong–sorry about that!)
 
Write the topics on note cards, worth two our, three main details under each. Put a * next to the ones that trigger tears.

Bring the cards with you, and a bottle of water…

Before you address a difficult point, take a deep breath, a sip of water, and silently tell yourself, “I’m in an emotionally safe place. Saint XYZ, pray for me.”

You will do great, and trust the Holy Spirit to guide you both.
 
Besides the advice given above, keep in mind that priests are used to crying–they hear it all the time in the confessional.
 
Julie_de_Sales said:
I’m looking forward to a meeting with my parish priest for spiritual counsel, but I tend to become very emotional when I talk about certain problems and I know I will have to bring them up. I would feel embarrassed if I would start crying in front of him, especially since we don’t really know each other.
Did this ever happened to you and should I just get over it? What could I do in order to keep my composure?
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Praying to the Holy Spirit to give you guidance & direction. Just speak to him from your heart. The Holy Spirt will give you the words you are to say.
 
Julie_de_Sales said:
I’m looking forward to a meeting with my parish priest for spiritual counsel, but I tend to become very emotional when I talk about certain problems and I know I will have to bring them up. I would feel embarrassed if I would start crying in front of him, especially since we don’t really know each other.
Did this ever happened to you and should I just get over it? What could I do in order to keep my composure?
Click to expand...
It probably happens to everyone. Try not to let it bother you. Just offer this up as an act of humility. We all have strong emotional responses to different issues, that is just being human. Sometimes a good cry is good for the soul and helps us keep our need for God in mind.
 
Julie_de_Sales said:
I’m looking forward to a meeting with my parish priest for spiritual counsel, but I tend to become very emotional when I talk about certain problems and I know I will have to bring them up. I would feel embarrassed if I would start crying in front of him, especially since we don’t really know each other.
Did this ever happened to you and should I just get over it? What could I do in order to keep my composure?
Click to expand...
Try not to worry about it. I cried the last time I talked to a priest. It’s a normal reaction regarding matters that have affected you deeply.

God bless,
Ed
 
Julie_de_Sales said:
I’m looking forward to a meeting with my parish priest for spiritual counsel, but I tend to become very emotional when I talk about certain problems and I know I will have to bring them up. I would feel embarrassed if I would start crying in front of him, especially since we don’t really know each other.
Did this ever happened to you and should I just get over it? What could I do in order to keep my composure?
Click to expand...
Last month for the first time, I bawled in my meeting with my spiritual director who is a priest. I couldn’t contain myself although I tried my best to do so. Please do not worry about it. Your crying might actually be a good thing to let him know just how much the issue concerns you. You know the old adage, “actions speak louder than words.”

If he is an older priest, he has likely seen this time and time again with women in the confessional, at funerals, and in spiritual direction. For me, I’ve been seeing my spiritual director for close to a year and a half. Although it was embarrassing to cry in front of him, I am actually glad that I did. Your spiritual director is supposed to help you get to the heart of the matter. By showing our vulnerable side, we are better able to provide our spiritual directors with the necessary background so that he/she can appropriately counsel us.

Please be at peace. I will pray for you.

houston1
 
Thanks to everyone who replied! The meeting will be, hopefully, a week from today. 🙂
What adds to the difficulty is that we don’t really know each other (except hearing his homilies and confessing to him a couple of times but I didn’t met him in person) and even the fact of opening up about personal matters to a stranger is kind of weird. For those who have a SD, or a priest to go to and ask for advice, you all knew each other before or the spiritual relationship started from scratch?
 
I would be interested in hearing how you go. I don’t really understand spiritual direction or how it is different from counselling (spiritual counselling?). I cannot imagine myself any good with a counselor, and so therefore I tend to think the same with spiritual direction. I mean, what if you disagree with them? and how can another person help you come closer to God?
 
Julie_de_Sales said:
Thanks to everyone who replied! The meeting will be, hopefully, a week from today. 🙂
What adds to the difficulty is that we don’t really know each other (except hearing his homilies and confessing to him a couple of times but I didn’t met him in person) and even the fact of opening up about personal matters to a stranger is kind of weird. For those who have a SD, or a priest to go to and ask for advice, you all knew each other before or the spiritual relationship started from scratch?
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I did not know my spiritual director any more than what you have described in your personal circumstances. I spent a lot of time in prayer beforehand so that God would direct me to the right person. You should pray also about your situation. Once you meet with him, you will be better able to determine his stance on things and whether you are compatible with him. It’s really hard to give you something more definitive than this. You may have to go with you “gut” feel trusting that God will direct you to the right person.

I opened up with mine immediately because I knew he had to keep everything confidential and that I really needed help on a particular matter. Once you meet with your priest, you can assess whether and how much you can open up to him. You probably won’t know until you meet with him.
 
I wish you the best. After years of pondering everything in my head I was advised to keep the initial meeting short on just the major particulars. I had a big bubble, it kind of deflated and is just hanging loose everywhere now spiritually. Don’t know if that makes sense. I guess it will take time. I don’t open up to people very well, aside from God, everyone else are just people. I get along just fine with God.
 
Casilda said:
I wish you the best. After years of pondering everything in my head I was advised to keep the initial meeting short on just the major particulars. I had a big bubble, it kind of deflated and is just hanging loose everywhere now spiritually. Don’t know if that makes sense. I guess it will take time. I don’t open up to people very well, aside from God, everyone else are just people. I get along just fine with God.
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Yeah, I know what you mean. It takes me a long time to be able to open up to anyone in person. God 's easy. 🙂
 
I went this morning to talk to my parish priest; it went fairly well, even if I didn’t received all the answers I was searching for. I will try to follow his advice and hopefully that will help me in my spiritual life. And he said that I could come back if I needed to, so I guess I will be back because I have a laundry list of questions and problems 😃
 
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