Talking to family about midnight mass

[Renarax]

Hi everyone.
I’m kind of in a situation I don’t know how to confront. I’m going to visit my dad in a few days in the city I grew up in (that day happens to be Christmas eve) I’m also going to be with my school friends.
But (there’s always a but ) I also wanted to meet my teachers and since it’s christmas week school is closed. Now I was thinking of this one teacher who is Christian (around 70 sweet lady) who taught English to both my class and my mother’s class. I thought since it’s Christmas eve she’d be at the church and it would be nice to meet her.
But I’ve heard they have mass at midnight and since my family is Hindu (in India) it would be awkward to say I’m going to church, and at midnight! They won’t say no to me (they can’t) but I’m sure going to feel awkward breaking it to them.

Ever since I read into Christianity I wanted to go to church and convert. The last time i attended a mass was in christmas 2002 in Canada. But for an 18 year old guy to dress up and be at CHURCH instead of doing something “fun” is a bit . . . You know.
Basically the teacher thing is just an excuse to be able to go to church. It’s not like I’m going to speak while mass goes on.

How do I go around telling them I’m going to church then? By saying I want to meet the teacher or saying I want to go because I feel like mass is beautiful? They’re going to let me go anyway but I think the teacher thing is more understandable/ reasonable. Should I say it some other way

 

[Della]

If they know you are Catholic and that Christmas Mass is an obligation of your faith all you need to say is “I’m going to Mass tonight. If anyone wants to come with me, I’d be delighted to share the music, the beauty and the event with you” with a sweet smile and a welcoming heart. If they say they’d rather not you simply say, “Okay. I’ll see you after if you’re still up or in the morning” or words to that effect. You don’t need any excuse to practice your faith. Simply doing what you know you should do in a loving way might help them be more accepting, and if they come with you they will see what attracted you to the faith. If inviting them would be a problem you don’t have to do that, but you don’t need excuses to go to Mass. Simply say, “I’m going to Mass now, I’ll see you later” and go.

 

[Renarax]

No that’s right but the thing is I’m not really christian yet and never brought up any religious subjects with them ever. So theyll be surprised. Also it’s midnight. That means I’ll be coming home real late.

 

[Eliza10]

Well I don’t know if I am reading this right, as it does not seem that you *are *Catholic! So assuming that’s the case, I think you will find Midnight Christmas Mass very beautiful, and at 18, I can see how you just want to experience life and this would be a rich experience. I think both those things you said - seeing the teacher, who taught both you and your mother, and experiencing “the Midnight Mass which I have heard is special and beautiful” are good things to say. Of course it feels a bit awkward, as you are “individuating” and there are always those awkward moments when you assert your own emerging self. The more relaxed and matter-of-fact you are saying it the more relaxed they will be hearing it. They may have a surprised expression, just relax about that. It will pass. They know you are spreading your wings. But do tell them early in your visit so they know to expect it. Waiting to tell them at dinner time Christmas Eve might make it more awkward for you and them.

 

[Della]

No that’s right but the thing is I’m not really christian yet and never brought up any religious subjects with them ever. So theyll be surprised. Also it’s midnight. That means I’ll be coming home real late.

I see. That does make it harder. If you are not yet in RCIA (although I don’t believe being in RCIA obligates you unless you’ve been through the first RCIA rites) you are not obligated to attend any Mass. So, if you cannot go, you don’t need to be concerned on that score.

But if you want to go, still you can say you want to go to Christmas Mass and the one you want to attend–at which your late school teacher is also attending–is late. You need to be ready to give a brief explanation of your interest in the Catholic Church and Christianity. You might want to do that well before Christmas Eve, if possible, so it won’t be a surprise on the day. Hitting people with such life-changing news at the last minute might very well have a bad effect on their acceptance of your conversion besides not being very thoughtful of them and their feelings. Only you know your family and how they make take all this, but I do think you need to explain and be ready to answer their questions well before you go to Christmas Mass.

I will say a prayer for you.

 

[Eliza10]

Renarex, I just want to assure you that people go to a Mass, especially a Christmas Mass, who are just experiencing it, who have another faith or religious practice, or no practice, and are going to just experience the occasion. No one will have any expectation of you for being there.

 

[Renarax]

Thanks everyone. I’ll try out what you suggested (though Christmas isn’t too far away) I’ll need to get to work

Eliza10- that’s the one reason I’m hopeful that they’ll understand

 

[pianistclare]

Renarex, I just want to assure you that people go to a Mass, especially a Christmas Mass, who are just experiencing it, who have another faith or religious practice, or no practice, and are going to just experience the occasion. No one will have any expectation of you for being there.

This is VERY true. For many people Midnight Mass is a tradition wherein the entire family goes to feel like they’ve acknowledged the true reason fro the season. Midnight Mass is full of non-practicing people of various faiths. It’s actually kind of nice to see people come together. Wish they’d return.

 

[ClearWater]

Hi everyone.
I’m kind of in a situation I don’t know how to confront. I’m going to visit my dad in a few days in the city I grew up in (that day happens to be Christmas eve) I’m also going to be with my school friends.
But (there’s always a but ) I also wanted to meet my teachers and since it’s christmas week school is closed. Now I was thinking of this one teacher who is Christian (around 70 sweet lady) who taught English to both my class and my mother’s class. I thought since it’s Christmas eve she’d be at the church and it would be nice to meet her.
But I’ve heard they have mass at midnight and since my family is Hindu (in India) it would be awkward to say I’m going to church, and at midnight! They won’t say no to me (they can’t) but I’m sure going to feel awkward breaking it to them.

Ever since I read into Christianity I wanted to go to church and convert. The last time i attended a mass was in christmas 2002 in Canada. But for an 18 year old guy to dress up and be at CHURCH instead of doing something “fun” is a bit . . . You know.
Basically the teacher thing is just an excuse to be able to go to church. It’s not like I’m going to speak while mass goes on.

How do I go around telling them I’m going to church then? By saying I want to meet the teacher or saying I want to go because I feel like mass is beautiful? They’re going to let me go anyway but I think the teacher thing is more understandable/ reasonable. Should I say it some other way

Shame you couldn´t either not get into detail where you´re going or if you do, say something like you´re saying to us, now, that you went once before, had a nice experience, want to go again also to meet some people.