Talking to non-Catholic wife about SSM/SSA

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SedGratiaDei

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Firstly I wanted to say thanks to all of you here who put your time in effort into helping your neighbor in keeping the faith and follow the Lord’s will as best we can.

I’ve been married for a little over a year. My wife was brought up non-denominational but isn’t practicing but is understanding and we’ve married in the Church, are baptizing our son and she attends mass with us whenever her work schedule allows.

When we first got married, I hadn’t been as adherent as I should have. As I’ve come to realize how essential our Catholic faith is essential in growing a family and keeping it together I’ve also come to commit to and grow in my faith.

Because of this I’ve gotten into the dilemma of how to share with my wife the Church’s belief and stance on SSA/SSM etc. as I’ve come to understand them and whole heartedly believe in them myself. This is especially important because of how we plan to teach my son as he comes to be aware of these things, and how important it is to know that they are detrimental to our communities and to children of the present and future.

What would be some charitable, kind and apologetically sound way that I could address the issue with my wife keeping in mind that she is non practicing Christian, rather secular leaning?

I know that part of the problem is that I haven’t even had the courage to bring it up. I ask for your prayers that God may grant me this courage and grace to do so, well.

Your brother in Christ
 
I know plenty of non Catholics who are against SSM/SSA- have you asked your wife what her views of it are? My mother is Presbyterian (as am I) and she is firmly against it.

Although I’m not Catholic I’m marrying someone who is and this topic came up during a recent discussion with his Priest. Personally I don’t hate SSA/SSM as long as it is not within a Church. My fiancé however is outright against it. However we’ve agreed to raise any children Catholic and I have agreed not to ‘promote’ SSM/SSA to any child we may have however I have made it clear there is to be no negative attitude towards a gay person- a hate the sin not the sinner approach.
 
Hi Ral91,

She is not against it, but to be honest I haven’t outright asked why not. We both have friends and acquaintances that are openly homosexual, some more militant than others and she has expressed a pretty “mainstream” attitude towards SSA/SSM as I used to in the past and before I learned more about it from the Church’s perspective.

I agree with you on teaching our children to hate the sin and not the sinner. Absolutely.
 
If you both have friends who are homosexual then perhaps that is your answer. Would you/ have you attended a civil partnership ceremony/SSM? Do you allow those with SSA to be around your son? It can be very difficult though to strike a balance. I often have to remind my fiancé and my mother that we will all be judged one day and it is not our job to judge now- we can only lead by example.
 
I wouldn’t attend a ceremony, or advocate, for example, books or films in public school that depict SSA with a sense of normalcy, but I won’t keep my family or children away from those with SSA at all. I feel that it’s up to me to teach my kids what’s right and wrong (not SSA, but acting on it specifically). How to broach the subject with my DW well . . .
 
Personally, I’d just ask her. In the same way you’d ask/discuss with her other things about raising your child like whether or not the attend state school or Catholic school or homeschooled. The fact your wife does attend mass with you and agreed to baptise your son Catholic and your marriage within the Church seems to be a positive sign.
 
Well, this seems like a dicey question. One thing you’ll want to be really clear about is that you do not think that homosexual *attractions *are wrong – that is to say, they are temptations. So the only thing being condemned here is the actions. And you might draw the comparison to fornication, since homosexual actions and fornication are basically the same thing. In that vein, it might be helpful to talk about the way that Christian churches (even though well-intentioned) have in many ways done a very bad job of making the homosexual feel welcome without condoning his or her sin.
 
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