Talking to non-catholics about homosexuality

[InSearchofGrace]

Some of you might have seen other posts of mine wherein I told my story about converting to Catholisism and embracing the Church’s teaching re: SSA and acting thereon. I’m very clear about my own decision, but I would be very interested in seeing a dialogue on how you might talk to non-catholics about these issues.

For instance, say I am approached by someone who is not Catholic and is gay. Let’s say that they belong to a protestant denomination that embraces gay marriages. He or she wants to know if I’m saying that they are going to Hell or that I believe they should also be chaste. Obviously it’s not for me to judge someone or their afterlife destination but that’s hardly going to be a satisfactory discussion strategy.

What is the Catholic response to non-Catholic gay people on these issues?

It really depends on the kind of non-Catholic gays that would even engage you in such a discussion. There is a big difference between individuals who struggle with their weaknesses and strive to overcome them and others who transform their sin into a reason for pride, and try to impose their lifestyle on society as a whole, in flagrant opposition to traditional Christian morality and natural law.

To the former, we can impart the Catholic and rational standpoint, our compassion which is only true when it aims at the real good of one’s neighbor. This good consists, above all, in his eternal salvation but also encompasses alleviating his temporal sufferings. To assist him to remain in vice and sin out of a misguided pity for his temporal sufferings is to ignore his spiritual welfare and salvation. There can be no greater cruelty.
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[OrdinaryMelkite]

I found that episode, am listening to it now. That guest is Melinda Selmys. not to take anything away from her at all, I certainly respect her and her work. However, for me, as a 43 year old woman who lived the gay lifestyle for 25 years +/-, her story is less compelling to me than one might think. She converted to Catholicism at 19 and embraced the Church’s teachings on homosexuality at that time. She was “out” as a lesbian for about 6 months before converting.

True, she does not have the same experince and viewpoint that you have.

What impressed me about her, though, was the story of her conversion. Unlike a lot of intelectuals, she actually had the courage to take the “argument” about homosexuality to its natural conclusion—instead of covering it up and looking at it from the POV of her own sexual preference. Many gay intellectuals do that. They refuse to take it to its “logical conclusion.”

I also was surprised by her saying “Do NOT throw out the Natural Law argument.” Because that is exactly what many Catholics I know would do. )

 

[michelleds]

True, she does not have the same experince and viewpoint that you have.

What impressed me about her, though, was the story of her conversion. Unlike a lot of intelectuals, she actually had the courage to take the “argument” about homosexuality to its natural conclusion—instead of covering it up and looking at it from the POV of her own sexual preference. Many gay intellectuals do that. They refuse to take it to its “logical conclusion.”

I also was surprised by her saying “Do NOT throw out the Natural Law argument.” Because that is exactly what many Catholics I know would do. )

too true, that about the logical conclusion. That’s pretty much exactly how I ended up deciding to be an ex-gay As a liberal non-practicing anything, I started finding myself getting upset by certain “that’s over the line” things. I did not support gay marriage, i did not support the guerilla warfare tactics of some groups (such as storming St. Pat’s in NYC, etc), i did not support the alleged “art”…and then I had to start looking at why there was a line for me. and if that was a line, then why was it there? what about here?

once one begins refusing to slide down the slippery slope, you have no choice but to struggle back up to the very top and flat land.

 

[jimjack]

too true, that about the logical conclusion. That’s pretty much exactly how I ended up deciding to be an ex-gay As a liberal non-practicing anything, I started finding myself getting upset by certain “that’s over the line” things. I did not support gay marriage, i did not support the guerilla warfare tactics of some groups (such as storming St. Pat’s in NYC, etc), i did not support the alleged “art”…and then I had to start looking at why there was a line for me. and if that was a line, then why was it there? what about here?

once one begins refusing to slide down the slippery slope, you have no choice but to struggle back up to the very top and flat land.

So do you like guys now? You never have sexual urges directed at women?

 

[michelleds]

So do you like guys now? You never have sexual urges directed at women?

I do not choose to allow my sexuality to define me.

I focus my attention on God and believe that I have been powerfully transformed and blessed by God in my nearly St. Paul blinded on the road transformation. Truly, powerfully and all-encompassing blessed.

I do not allow my mind to go down paths that are contrary to chastity. period. For me, at this stage in my life, I am merely open to God’s will and am not concerned about what that might be or where it might take me.

You might find this surprising, but for many 40+ year old women, sexual urges do not present much of a distraction let alone operate as a dictating force in our lives.

 

[jimjack]

I do not choose to allow my sexuality to define me.

I focus my attention on God and believe that I have been powerfully transformed and blessed by God in my nearly St. Paul blinded on the road transformation. Truly, powerfully and all-encompassing blessed.

I do not allow my mind to go down paths that are contrary to chastity. period. For me, at this stage in my life, I am merely open to God’s will and am not concerned about what that might be or where it might take me.

You might find this surprising, but for many 40+ year old women, sexual urges do not present much of a distraction let alone operate as a dictating force in our lives.

That makes sense. Thanks for the response.

 

[Elizabeth502]

I do not choose to allow my sexuality to define me.

What a breath of fresh air you are. What a witness to the correct priorities for any child of God.


For others, btw, this is no different. If we are allowing our heterosexuality to define us, we are just as imbalanced as any counterpart in the homosexual community.

 

[TrueLight]

You might find this surprising, but for many 40+ year old women, sexual urges do not present much of a distraction…

Well, I don’t know about that.

But anyway, I have been thinking about that question a lot because I have a few friends who knew me when I was more liberal and some of them were baptized Catholic. So they know what the Church teaches. It is only a matter of time before I will be confronted with, “You don’t believe the gay lifestyle is wrong do you? You couldn’t possibly be judging me could you?”

I don’t know what I will answer. To say, “everyone is called to live chastely” is not going to work. Anyone who is trying to get a true answer from you will say heteros are allowed to have sex when married. When will homosexuals get to have sex or get married."

I am praying that when the time comes, I will be ready.