Talking to parents about troubles

[GilleChriosd]

I finally talked to my parents about how I am feeling. I don’t know how it went. It went exactly how I imagined it. It was at that point that I realized how much my viewpoints differentiated over my parents over the years. It was incredibly awkward but now my whole family is thinking what am I thinking is crazy. They think I should be focusing on school rather than thinking about which church I should be going to. He said that you are already a good person so I should not focus so much about that. That school should be focused on 100%. They thought I was crazy for trying to join something because I am too young and experienced. It is not that I disagree with them but I am wondering how much of it that I should follow.

For years I wanted to give my live over to Christ whatever that may mean. I don’t know how to tell them that I don’t know if we are truly doing ‘good’. Telling them that God wants more from us seems to be talking right past them who believe they are doing good just the way they are and that just praying to God is enough.

They say by focusing on this that I am not focusing on something that will pay the bills and I am thinking school is a given. That I am too ignorant of the real world and how hard you have to work and what college is important for and that I am taking it as a given. That the deacon I’ve been speaking to won’t pay for me and help me. That the Catholic Church has done a lot of things bad and I haven’t done enough research.

They think that I should research all the major churches AFTER I have secured a well paying job. I don’t disagree with them but I have no idea what to say or what to do.

I feel like I had a cruddy school semester and it has to be said that the thoughts about churches has affected some of my work (not the only thing but one of them). I get what he is saying and It just reaffirmed some of the doubts I have about my self. I bet my dad thinks I am on the way to becoming a religious nutcase. They think I might be the type to join a crazy cult. My mom is wondering if I did something really bad to want to grow stronger in the faith. My mom is not antagonistic against that church but she thinks the Catholic Church is really problematic and she wouldn’t go there.

I really see now that it’s like I dropped a really big bomb shell. I don’t know if there is another way to soften the blow. What do I do, do I really just submit to my parents again. I know I really need to try harder but I really don’t know what to do.

 

[Xantippe]

I finally talked to my parents about how I am feeling. I don’t know how it went. It went exactly how I imagined it. It was at that point that I realized how much my viewpoints differentiated over my parents over the years. It was incredibly awkward but now my whole family is thinking what am I thinking is crazy. They think I should be focusing on school rather than thinking about which church I should be going to. He said that you are already a good person so I should not focus so much about that. That school should be focused on 100%. They thought I was crazy for trying to join something because I am too young and experienced. It is not that I disagree with them but I am wondering how much of it that I should follow.

For years I wanted to give my live over to Christ whatever that may mean. I don’t know how to tell them that I don’t know if we are truly doing ‘good’. Telling them that God wants more from us seems to be talking right past them who believe they are doing good just the way they are and that just praying to God is enough.

They say by focusing on this that I am not focusing on something that will pay the bills and I am thinking school is a given. That I am too ignorant of the real world and how hard you have to work and what college is important for and that I am taking it as a given. That the deacon I’ve been speaking to won’t pay for me and help me. That the Catholic Church has done a lot of things bad and I haven’t done enough research.

They think that I should research all the major churches AFTER I have secured a well paying job. I don’t disagree with them but I have no idea what to say or what to do.

I feel like I had a cruddy school semester and it has to be said that the thoughts about churches has affected some of my work (not the only thing but one of them). I get what he is saying and It just reaffirmed some of the doubts I have about my self. I bet my dad thinks I am on the way to becoming a religious nutcase. They think I might be the type to join a crazy cult. My mom is wondering if I did something really bad to want to grow stronger in the faith. My mom is not antagonistic against that church but she thinks the Catholic Church is really problematic and she wouldn’t go there.

I really see now that it’s like I dropped a really big bomb shell. I don’t know if there is another way to soften the blow. What do I do, do I really just submit to my parents again. I know I really need to try harder but I really don’t know what to do.

Is there any reason why you can’t put in a solid effort in school while pursuing your research on the side? Whatever you do with your life (even if it’s running a soup kitchen professionally), your education can make you more effective.

Are you in high school right now? And what are your plans for yourself? How is school going?

 

[Xantippe]

Also, the best witness you can give your parents of your faith is to do well in school and to demonstrate that your interest in Catholicism is consistent with good academics.

 

[GilleChriosd]

Is there any reason why you can’t put in a solid effort in school while pursuing your research on the side? Whatever you do with your life (even if it’s running a soup kitchen professionally), your education can make you more effective.

Are you in high school right now? And what are your plans for yourself? How is school going?

Hey Xantippe, how are you doing? I’m in college right now and I’m 20. I do want my education but I want to be more effective at it. I would love to do research on the side while putting in a solid effort. This year is a first for me for how badly I did, I still have a solid GPA but it kind of spooks me that I didn’t do better. The problem is I feel like I don’t have things right on the inside and that is affecting my school. I am trying to figure everything out for myself on what I want to do with my live. I did speak with a councilor by the way and she thought I needed to talk with parents again and tell them my problems.

 

[Xantippe]

It’s good you’re seeing a counselor. I’d add in career counseling to talk about your career options and also your doctor to talk about your emotional state.

I feel like there may be some sort of confusing physical or psychological factor that may be making this more difficult than it ought to be. There might be some sort of undiagnosed illness or deficiency that is undermining your normal coping abilities.

One of my kids got very gloomy last year–it turned out to be a Vitamin D deficiency. Likewise, when I was your age, I was terribly SAD for a while and having trouble concentrating on school work. At the time, I did have something to be sad over, but I was also dealing with mono. The mono amplified my real troubles 10X.

So, please talk to your doctor. I think I would shelve talking to your parents about religious stuff for now, but you can tell them about your academic troubles and that you need to see a doctor over your Christmas break. They might find it a relief to have something to worry about that they can understand better.

Best wishes!

 

[GilleChriosd]

It’s good you’re seeing a counselor. I’d add in career counseling to talk about your career options and also your doctor to talk about your emotional state.

I feel like there may be some sort of confusing physical or psychological factor that may be making this more difficult than it ought to be. There might be some sort of undiagnosed illness or deficiency that is undermining your normal coping abilities.

One of my kids got very gloomy last year–it turned out to be a Vitamin D deficiency. Likewise, when I was your age, I was terribly SAD for a while and having trouble concentrating on school work. At the time, I did have something to be sad over, but I was also dealing with mono. The mono amplified my real troubles 10X.

So, please talk to your doctor. I think I would shelve talking to your parents about religious stuff for now, but you can tell them about your academic troubles and that you need to see a doctor over your Christmas break. They might find it a relief to have something to worry about that they can understand better.

Best wishes!

Thanks for your advice. Whenever, I talk with them about stuff like this, I get terribly self conscious of my own flaws, I am not the best at vocalizing my thoughts. I think I got them really worried about me now. I may try a doctor, I just want to be a bit more satisfied in myself again.

 

[GilleChriosd]

Bump