Talking too much in class

[La_Chiara]

wisdom 3:5:

Thanks for all your (name removed by moderator)ut!

My girl is a very friendly vivacious child. She does have some trouble focusing (we use a kitchen timer at mealtimes or else she takes up to an hour to eat because of her talking!). This might be part of the problem because she doesn’t “see” how much time she has. On the other hand, when she’s coloring or doing her workbooks at home she’s completely silent.

I’m not all that clear on how or why she is talking or what she is saying. She was saying last night that she talks about her work to the other kids (maybe helping them or them helping her - I’m not sure yet). This morning she said that the boy that sits in front of her “cracks her up” and tries to make her talk. I told her that she should raise her hand and tell her teacher. She said, “then Chris will get in trouble.” It may not be only one situation.

The teacher is not new. She did have maternity leave last year so she didn’t know my daughter in kindergarten. Its a small school and all the teachers know all the students. Conferences are coming up so hopefully we can get to the bottom of this.

My daughter is on the younger side of the class too. Her birthday is in May and she is 6. Almost all of the kids in her class are 7 already and will turn 8 during the year.

I laughed when I read the post about sitting with her in class. . . she would LOVE that. She goes nuts when I do lunch duty and she’s always asking me when its my turn again. I’ll keep that advice in mind for when she gets to be a teenager !

Oh my, she sounds like a totally delightful young child. I was grinning as I read your description of her. I’ll bet she will be very social and very extroverted! God love her!

 

[ElizabethAnne]

I know some other posters already said this, but I wanted to reinterate that your daughter might be bored in school. In first grade I was the talker! We totally had the same system and everything. I can remember getting those two check marks and then just sitting in silence for the rest of the day because I didn’t want to get in actual trouble. I was a good kid who never got in serious trouble of any kind. But I was also bored out of my mind in first grade. The teacher took a couple of us who were ahead of the class and gave us separate homework assignments, which helped. As I got older, I tended to be put in the advanced classes, which was better.

I am still a talker; it’s part of my personality. But at some point I learned when it was appropriate to be silent.

God bless you.

 

[sparkle]

Princess_Abby:

We are both welcome to our own opinions, but I think you misuse this quote for the OP’s situation. A six year old is still being trained. (Obviously, or she wouldn’t have problems with talking out of turn or inappropriately.) She needs parental involvement, as any child does.

OK. Hear ya PA. And thank you for your (name removed by moderator)ut. And what “parental involvement” do you have to offer? What should make her believe in you, and your theories? Are you a parent? Appreciate your insight, but I do believe sometimes you just have to “walk in someone’s shoes” or you can’t quite grasp the full dimension of their problem/dilemma. What " credentials" make **YOU **qualified to address this precious, dear OP and her problems with her daughter? Maybe someday you might know. In plain language, dear Princess Abby, how do you know? not being a parent? Why should anyone listen to YOU? What experience do YOU have?

Sincerely,

Sparkle

 

[Karin]

sparkle:

OK. Hear ya PA. And thank you for your (name removed by moderator)ut. And what “parental involvement” do you have to offer? What should make her believe in you, and your theories? Are you a parent? Appreciate your insight, but I do believe sometimes you just have to “walk in someone’s shoes” or you can’t quite grasp the full dimension of their problem/dilemma. What " credentials" make **YOU **qualified to address this precious, dear OP and her problems with her daughter? Maybe someday you might know. In plain language, dear Princess Abby, how do you know? not being a parent? Why should anyone listen to YOU? What experience do YOU have?

Sincerely,

Sparkle

Sparkle…
Since when do you need to be a parent to know that speaking /acting out in a classroom is a disturbance…to the teacher and the other students.
The answer …NEVER!

 

[Princess_Abby]

sparkle:

OK. Hear ya PA. And thank you for your (name removed by moderator)ut. And what “parental involvement” do you have to offer? What should make her believe in you, and your theories? Are you a parent? Appreciate your insight, but I do believe sometimes you just have to “walk in someone’s shoes” or you can’t quite grasp the full dimension of their problem/dilemma. What " credentials" make **YOU **qualified to address this precious, dear OP and her problems with her daughter? Maybe someday you might know. In plain language, dear Princess Abby, how do you know? not being a parent? Why should anyone listen to YOU? What experience do YOU have?

Sincerely,

Sparkle

A masters degree in clinical psychology and several years as a consultant in behavioral therapy for children aged 3-18. I have worked as a consultant in behavioral intervention for school districts with special needs children, home programs, rehabilitation centers and shelters for juvenile offenders. I was finished with grad school at age 20.

Children do not come with manuals, Sparkle, and parents are not certified experts merely because they had sex and delivered a child.

Parents become expert at their vocation through a number of ways, mainly through experience and using resources available to them.

A professional, however, can often offer a broader scope because he or she has worked with a number of children with a variety of needs and situations, not merely the few she has birthed.

The OP is welcome to do as she wishes, but since she asked for (name removed by moderator)ut, we are all offering her our two cents.

You suggested she forget about it and go get a manicure. That’s fine. I suggested something a little different. We are allowed to disagree.

 

[jrabs]

Karin:

Sparkle…
Since when do you need to be a parent to know that speaking /acting out in a classroom is a disturbance…to the teacher and the other students.
The answer …NEVER!

.

hmmm, I do believe those of us who have been there have a great deal of additional wisdom on the topic.
Ohhhh, to be a parent and have experienced this!

 

[Karin]

jrabs:

.

hmmm, I do believe those of us who have been there have a great deal of additional wisdom on the topic.
Ohhhh, to be a parent and have experienced this!

Agreed…but the point is you do not need to be a parent to have that additonal wisdom…look at Princess Abbey …she is a prefect example of that Sparkle was stating that only a parent nows how to handle these things…I think that is a crock!

 

[sparkle]

Princess_Abby:

A masters degree in clinical psychology and several years as a consultant in behavioral therapy for children aged 3-18. I have worked as a consultant in behavioral intervention for school districts with special needs children, home programs, rehabilitation centers and shelters for juvenile offenders. I was finished with grad school at age 20.

Uh Huh. OK. Great! PA~ Wow – you truly ARE special! – this is most admirable indeed. Thx for sharing such!!! And Thx for the mention of your numerous credentials. Might I say and offer my opinion, that “credentials” do not give one, necessarily, wisdom. Yes, friend PA. We ARE allowed to disagree. Thanks be to God. I say to you today my friend, how old are you? 25?..
Perhaps one day, when you are older, with children of your own, you might be able to really “see” better, and be more fully able to “give” advice to people. I’m sorta of the school that believes, “unless you’ve walked in ones shoes—you do not have a clue”… But of course your view, and your advice, is most appreciated.
God Bless You PA with your continuing education~~~~

Love,
Sparkle

 

[Lillith]

Princess_Abby:

A masters degree in clinical psychology and several years as a consultant in behavioral therapy for children aged 3-18. I have worked as a consultant in behavioral intervention for school districts with special needs children, home programs, rehabilitation centers and shelters for juvenile offenders. I was finished with grad school at age 20.

Children do not come with manuals, Sparkle, and parents are not certified experts merely because they had sex and delivered a child.

Parents become expert at their vocation through a number of ways, mainly through experience and using resources available to them.

A professional, however, can often offer a broader scope because he or she has worked with a number of children with a variety of needs and situations, not merely the few she has birthed.

The OP is welcome to do as she wishes, but since she asked for (name removed by moderator)ut, we are all offering her our two cents.

You suggested she forget about it and go get a manicure. That’s fine. I suggested something a little different. We are allowed to disagree.

Princess Abby…I deem you more than qualified to answer anyone’s questions about parenting

:bowdown:

 

[ElizabethAnne]

sparkle:

Uh Huh. OK. Great! PA~ Wow – you truly ARE special! – this is most admirable indeed. Thx for sharing such!!! And Thx for the mention of your numerous credentials. Might I say and offer my opinion, that “credentials” do not give one, necessarily, wisdom. Yes, friend PA. We ARE allowed to disagree. Thanks be to God. I say to you today my friend, how old are you? 25?..
Perhaps one day, when you are older, with children of your own, you might be able to really “see” better, and be more fully able to “give” advice to people. I’m sorta of the school that believes, “unless you’ve walked in ones shoes—you do not have a clue”… But of course your view, and your advice, is most appreciated.
God Bless You PA with your continuing education~~~~

Love,
Sparkle

Sparkle,

I believe you asked her for her credentials, and she gave them to you. They seem valid to me, no matter what her age is.

God bless.

 

[Brenda_V]

Princess_Abby:

We are both welcome to our own opinions, but I think you misuse this quote for the OP’s situation. A six year old is still being trained. (Obviously, or she wouldn’t have problems with talking out of turn or inappropriately.) She needs parental involvement, as any child does.

OP, is there a time in the classroom that is periodic freetime or independent worktime? I remember consulting once for a child with Asperger’s who coulddddddddddddddddd notttttttttttttttttttttt stopppppppppppppppppppppp talking. He so wanted to be friendly and relate to his peers. However, part of the problem was that it was NEVER okay for this child to talk and it seemed to bubble up in him to the point where he would be agitated if he wasn’t able to speak. (Recess time wasn’t enough for him, as it was more a time when his peers were busily playing kickball or soccer and not interacting.) When I met her, the teacher was so frustrated with him that ANY talking would land him a warning card and he’d be isolated on a daily basis by noontime.

I suggested the teacher use a “stoplight solution.” She agreed that it was not absolutely imperative that the classroom be utterly silent at all times. There were, of course, many times that silence WAS needed and very important (during testing situations or during read aloud or actual teaching time, etc). However, since she was fighting for silence ALL the time, she was getting it the least when she most needed it.

She decided to post a large stoplight at the front of the classroom with a green, red and yellow light (laminated construction paper). It worked in such a way that allowed her to flash only one light at a time, signaling to the children that “Red Light” meant absolutely no talking. “Yellow Light” meant occasional whispering was okay, whether to ask a peer a question or to borrow something, etc. Talking should be minimum, but the teacher is not jumping down every child’s throat for any sound uttered. “Green Light” means regular indoor voices can be used and talking is encouraged. This can be used for art or group work or free time, etc. But each day should have one small period of “Green Light” time, even just 10-15 minutes worth. Group work is a natural part of learning, so this generally isn’t hard to get–ESPECIALLY in 1st grade, when so much is hands on.

If the teacher found that “Yellow Light” talking was becoming too loud, she would give one warning and then if the class as a whole could not return to “Yellow Light” voices, then she would turn the stoplight back to “Red Light.” This worked well because peers would encourage each other to “shhhhh we have to be quiet!” and show displeasure if one child in particular got too loud and didn’t control it. The same went for “Green Light.” The social reinforcement of keeping voices under control really worked for this child. Plus, the whole class is working together and it’s not just about one child being singled out as a loud, incessant talker. Your child sounds like a social butterfly and I’m sure she doesn’t want to displease her friends. Sometimes reminders from other students work well.

Also, if the little boy in front of her “cracks her up” (sorry, but how cute is that) maybe the teacher can decide “okay guys, time to change desks!” and strategically move her to a seat partner that won’t tempt her into talking so much.

I don’t know how open the teacher is to solutions from you, but that really worked in this particular classroom. The child was secure in knowing that eventually the stoplight would turn to “Green Light” and he would get some talk time. “Yellow Light” was also frequent, as it was used during independent work time which happened every single morning. Full out conversation wasn’t allowed, but it was okay to ask a peer a question and this was comforting to the child.

Just my suggestions!

Excellent suggestions.

In defense of “isolation” I think the child has probably already been pegged as "bad’ by her peers. I know that any child who spends as much time as she has in the Principal’s office will have the others thinking she is bad. Why else do you get sent to the Principal’s?

I don’t think that disciplining her at home is the solution though. The discipline should be done at the classroom level and yes, the children in the class should have periods of being able to interact with each other that is not during recess! This alone might help alleviate some of the talking (and moving her from her greatest temptation too - the student who likes to make her talk). Support what the teacher does and practice “not talking” at home - practice “listening” these are good things to do.

I still say that if all else fails, isolation during the times when silence in required can be a good thing “bruised” egos or not.

Brenda V/

 

[Princess_Abby]

sparkle:

Uh Huh. OK. Great! PA~ Wow – you truly ARE special! – this is most admirable indeed. Thx for sharing such!!! And Thx for the mention of your numerous credentials. Might I say and offer my opinion, that “credentials” do not give one, necessarily, wisdom. Yes, friend PA. We ARE allowed to disagree. Thanks be to God. I say to you today my friend, how old are you? 25?..
Perhaps one day, when you are older, with children of your own, you might be able to really “see” better, and be more fully able to “give” advice to people. I’m sorta of the school that believes, “unless you’ve walked in ones shoes—you do not have a clue”… But of course your view, and your advice, is most appreciated.
God Bless You PA with your continuing education~~~~

Love,
Sparkle

Considering I worked while in grad school, I’ve been in my field since the age of 18. Furthermore, my practicums and internships in special ed started at age 16.

I’m not really interested in your approval or disapproval, nor your permission to participate in a thread.

Now…back to the original topic.

 

[sparkle]

jrabs:

.

hmmm, I do believe those of us who have been there have a great deal of additional wisdom on the topic.
Ohhhh, to be a parent and have experienced this!

Yes, jrabs–I second this. I don’t mean any harm to PA, please know this, and forgive me if I offended you PA in any way. I did not/do not mean anything personal PA. Do you know this? I hope so. I do appreciate your advice, as limited as it may be, at this point in your life, still, I believe it is merely “head knowledge” all the same. Do you know the difference? I simply do believe, sometimes, it just “takes one to know one”. Perhaps in the alcoholism thread, this is a case of this as well. I rather think it is such, and this is perfectly understandable. Only having such experience in certain things, does it make one qualified to give advice. I believe this is one instance of this. But I feel it is not a generalized rule about everything however. You will perhaps know one day more about child-rearing when you are a parent.

 

[La_Chiara]

Princess_Abby:

Considering I worked while in grad school, I’ve been in my field since the age of 18. Furthermore, my practicums and internships in special ed started at age 16.

I’m not really interested in your approval or disapproval, nor your permission to participate in a thread.

Now…back to the original topic.

So you started college at 14 and finished 4 years of college by 18? I knew Ivy League, Phi Beta Kappa graduates who viewed getting into a graduate program in Clinical Psychology as a challenge on the order of getting into medical school. Color me skeptical.

 

[sparkle]

Princess_Abby:

Considering I worked while in grad school, I’ve been in my field since the age of 18. Furthermore, my practicums and internships in special ed started at age 16.
I’m not really interested in your approval or disapproval, nor your permission to participate in a thread.
Now…back to the original topic.

Hello to PA. Just wanted to acknowledge your reply hereinabove. I hear ya, and thx for providing such.
P.S. I am not looking for any argument–are you?

Peace and Love ~~
Sparkle~~

 

[Karin]

sparkle:

Yes, jrabs–I second this. I don’t mean any harm to PA, please know this, and forgive me if I offended you PA in any way. I did not/do not mean anything personal PA. Do you know this? I hope so. I do appreciate your advice, as limited as it may be, at this point in your life, still, I believe it is merely “head knowledge” all the same. Do you know the difference? I simply do believe, sometimes, it just “takes one to know one”. Perhaps in the alcoholism thread, this is a case of this as well. I rather think it is such, and this is perfectly understandable. Only having such experience in certain things, does it make one qualified to give advice. I believe this is one instance of this. But I feel it is not a generalized rule about everything however. You will perhaps know one day more about child-rearing when you are a parent.

So what you are saying is that unless you have experienced these things drugs, kids etc. personally you dont know anything?? I guess shrinks, social workers etc. in your opinion dont have any idea what they are doing, right?

 

[sparkle]

Karin:

So what you are saying is that unless you have experienced these things drugs, kids etc. personally you dont know anything?? I guess shrinks, social workers etc. in your opinion dont have any idea what they are doing, right?

Hi to “Karin”:

No, this is not at all what I am saying, but if this is what you’re deriving, well then so be it. Perhaps you might need to re-read several of the the hereinabove replies once more.

 

[Karin]

sparkle:

Hi to “Karin”:

No, this is not at all what I am saying, but if this is what you’re deriving, well then so be it. Perhaps you might need to re-read several of the the hereinabove replies once more.

I have reread your posts thank you. What you are stating is that unless you have kids you dont know anything, unless you are an alcoholic you dont know anything…

*** Quote Sparkle**: Only having such experience in certain things, does it make one qualified to give advice.*

So where have i gone wrong?

 

[Princess_Abby]

La Chiara:

So you started college at 14 and finished 4 years of college by 18? I knew Ivy League, Phi Beta Kappa graduates who viewed getting into a graduate program in Clinical Psychology as a challenge on the order of getting into medical school. Color me skeptical.

I went to college at 16 with junior class standing. Sorry your friends had such trouble getting into school.

Sparkle, you did say that unless someone has “walked in whomever’s shoes” then they “don’t have a clue.” Karin’s question is valid.

By the way…this thread is so off track.

 

[Karin]

Princess_Abby:

I went to college at 16 with junior class standing. Sorry your friends had such trouble getting into school.

Sparkle, you did say that unless someone has “walked in whomever’s shoes” then they “don’t have a clue.” Karin’s question is valid.

By the way…this thread is so off track.

PA:
Why you have to defend your education or qualifications to someone I dont understand…but I have to say good going there in regards to your education!!!
As to the question I posted to Sparkle…I am waiting to hear your motherly words of wisdom…or perhaps I should go out and get a manicure!!!