Talking with my Lutheran family

[Michael16]

I’ve decided that I must follow the dictates of my conscience, even if it kills me; as formed by Christ and His Church. I will be asserting my full parental authority and my own manhood in the face of my family.

I’ve decided that I’m tired of walking on eggshells around them concerning my faith and with how I decide to raise my sons.

So: I’ll be talking with them this weekend. Asserting all these things, on the basis of my conscience; even if they rage and cry at me. I feel like I’ve been half a man and half a Catholic by acceding to their heresies.

Please pray for me and give me advice. All will be appreciated.

 

[ChristMyLife]

: I’ll be talking with them this weekend. Asserting all these things, on the basis of my conscience; even if they rage and cry at me. I feel like I’ve been half a man and half a Catholic by acceding to their heresies.

Please pray for me and give me advice. All will be appreciated.

Don’t do this. You’ll regret it, trust me.

There’s no reason to upset your family or “take a stand.”

Instead, be loving, patient, longsuffering and gentle.

What’s up? What are the circumstances causing this thinking?

 

[LateranBasilica]

@Michael16 please take the advice of the Priests on the thread where you discuss the religion of your twin boys , and that a conversion is their choice.
Please also remember they will be grieving the loss of their mother.

Catholic in a Lutheran family Catholic Living

Well, I now have custody of my kids. I’m the only Catholic in a family of Lutherans. My kids are eight years old and they are used to the Lutheran church they spent their eight years in. When I told my family my intention to have my kids alternate weekends between their church and the Church, they were upset. Their basic position is twofold: One; what’s wrong with Lutheran and second; I would be upsetting their routine and taking them away from what they are used to. I see their second point, …

 

[ChristMyLife]

, and that a conversion is their choice.

I emphatically disagree with that notion.

They’re not old enough to make decisions about religion.

If that’s the case and he has custody, he absolutely should assert himself and bring them to the Catholic Church and teach them the Catholic faith.

I would add the caveat: don’t bash the Lutheran Church at all, even if there are Lutheran family members bashing the Catholic Church. Show them that as a Catholic, you take the commands of Jesus not to judge or condemn seriously… Eventually they’ll see the truth.

 

[PaulfromIowa]

No need to argue.

“I am a Catholic.”

Period. There is nothing to argue about.

 

[LateranBasilica]

Please read the responses in the link I posted.

 

[ChristMyLife]

Please read the responses in the link I posted

I just read through it…

@Michael16 I strongly encourage you to listen to @Don_Ruggero and the advice he gave you on that thread.

In the meantime, ask them if they are willing to come to Mass with you and see what happens. Try and show them Christ living in you because of your Catholic faith. Teach them Catholic truth at every opportunity, but always with all humility and gentleness, never harshly or pridefully or triumphantly.

Condemn the theological errors they may have from Lutheranism not with harsh verbal condemnation, but by showing them the superiority of Catholic theology. Correct them with all meekness when the opportunity arises, always respecting their free will.

Trust in the Lord, for his mercy endures forever.

 

[Michael16]

Here’s the thing: I am taking the Father’s advice. They’re Lutheran. Damage done. All I can do is be a good Catholic example and hope they’ll follow. Beyond that: I’m Catholic and I’ll practice my faith in my own life. Period.

 

[ChristMyLife]

All I can do is be a good Catholic example and hope they’ll follow. Beyond that:

Exactly.

However, remember, teach them Catholic faith and morals when the opportunities come… And you will have plenty.

Especially teach them core Catholic doctrine which is also fully compatible with their Lutheran faith:

The 10 commandments, the two great commandments, the golden rule and the beatitudes. Teach them the Nicene and Apostles Creeds. Teach them to love and reverence and read the Scriptures. Introduce them to the Church Fathers and pre-Reformation Saints.

 

[Michael16]

Thank you.

 

[Allegra]

I’m not sure what all that means, but I would just say, “Thanks for letting us stay with you, we’re moving out now.” And have that be the end of it. I know they do these sort of things on TV all the time, but I don’t see the benefit in big altercations and “come to Jesus discussions.” I would just carry on with your life and do what you want to do. If they take the opportunity to complain, tell them politely that it isn’t open for discussion, and keep walking. Lather, rinse, repeat. If you are consistent, and don’t get sucked into arguments or “discussions” with them, they’ll eventually give up trying to control your life. In my experience, when you are dealing with overly controlling people, engaging in arguments with them just gives them a sense of power of that which they ought to realize they have no right to have any say in. It’s all unnecessary. Take your kids to Church with you. Talk to your parish priest about what needs to happen regarding their faith instruction. Pay attention to their emotional needs during this difficult time, and don’t even get into it with your parents.

 

[EnglishTeacher]

They’re Lutheran. Damage done. All I can do is be a good Catholic example and hope they’ll follow. Beyond that: I’m Catholic and I’ll practice my faith in my own life. Period.

They are, but as you are their father and have custody, I see no reason why you can’t start taking them to church with you and also talk to your priest about how to proceed with their faith instruction and so forth. Eight-year-olds don’t get to make their own decisions about these types of things.
Allegra’s advice above is good.

 

[jvickers]

Eight-year-olds don’t get to make their own decisions about these types of things.

Not to stir up a hornet’s nest, but seven is the age of reason in the Catholic faith. Wouldn’t that mean that the children do have a choice whether Catholicism is the form of religion they want to practice? For instance, they can refuse baptism or confirmation, unless I am mistaken. It’s ultimately up to the person who has reached the age of reason, isn’t it?

 

[1ke]

Eight-year-olds don’t get to make their own decisions about these types of things

Actually, according to the Church— they do.

They are above the age of reason, and therefore their parent cannot bring them into the church— the child must demonstrate the desire to become Catholic and make their own profession of faith asking to be received into the Church and for the remaining sacraments of initiation.

 

[Allegra]

To clarify, when you mean “bring them into the Church”, you mean to have them Baptized and receive the sacraments. Parents can literally bring their own children into a Church building anytime they want, no matter what religion they were. I’m pretty sure they can enroll them in PSR too, because you can’t really accept anything you haven’t had the opportunity to study and learn about.

 

[ChuckB]

[P]lease take the advice of the Priests on the thread where you discuss the religion of your twin boys , and that a conversion is their choice.

I emphatically disagree with that notion.

They’re not old enough to make decisions about religion.

If I read correctly, the boys are eight years old. It is also my understanding that, according to the Church, the “age of reason” is seven years old. So, it would seem that they ARE old enough to make decisions about religion.

Edit: Oops…1ke beat me too it.

 

[Allegra]

Sort of. They are old enough that they must give consent in order to receive the sacraments. It makes no sense to me to claim that means the the father has no say in what Church they attend and whether or not they should receive catechism because he agreed to have them Baptized Lutheran for his wife and later regretted it. My children were Baptized as infants, however, I think few would argue that when they become seven, I should let them decide whether or not they want to go to Mass. Of course, they should have a say in whether or not they receive the Eucharist or go to Reconciliation, but as their mother, I need to see they go to Mass and get proper education in what the Church teachers. Whether they ultimately accept those teachings is up to them, as it really is up to anyone.

Also, unless I’ve missed it, I haven’t seen any indication from the OP that the children object to attending his Church anyway. The objection seems to be primarily from his parents.

 

[Michael16]

My sons are eight and don’t like going to Mass with me. However: That doesn’t stop me from catechizing them in the True Faith anyway. I always have Catholic radio on in my car with them. I even taught them the truth about the Pope being the head of the Church. I preach by my example and by my words.

I like what Allegra said about it’s not up to them what church they go to. What I plan on doing is, once I move out of my parents’ place; is to start taking my sons to Mass; whether or not my family likes it or not. I am their father and I’m responsible to see that they are properly educated in the proper Faith.

What restrains me, so far; is that my sons’ whole support network is at the Lutheran church and I feel I have to be rather ecumenical about faith; even though Lutheranism is a heresy.

 

[Allegra]

That does change things a little. What sort of support are they getting? Is it possible for them to continue while still attending Mass, or is it one of those churches that won’t allow that?

 

[Michael16]

Well, my parents are comfortable with me taking the boys to Mass when Sunday school is out. The main thing they were concerned about is the huge social adjustment if I had yanked them out after their mother died. In fact: My sister suggested I do the change to Mass slowly; giving them time to adjust. Pretty much my sons have many friends at their church and if I yanked them out, it would be a huge and problematic adjustment for them and me.

That’s what’s keeping me keeping them in the Lutheran church.