"Tattle-tale, tattle-tale . . . "

[IrishAm]

What would YOU do?

I’m waaay too old to be a “tattle tale,” but I’m thinking about it.

I am a reader at my parish. It is something I have done for many, many years and take it quite seriously. We are scheduled quarterly, at the same monthly Mass time with the same partner. If you can’t make a Mass, you get a substitute, which is generally pretty easy to do. Same as most parishes . . .

One quarter, I was teamed with a young woman (well, not that young) who only showed up one out of the four scheduled Sundays. Now she is on a different time, but we are partnered once a quarter still. And, on Sunday, there I was, all by myself again.

It is not a big burden. I always prepare for all the readings in case I am called upon to read something that isn’t my assigned reading. However, I really don’t think an individual lay person (that would be me) should have a “starring” role in any Mass. My job is to humbly read the word of God and then sit down. If I am getting up and down and reading this and that, it just makes me feel very uncomfortable. Additionally, if there is something in her life that makes this more of a burden than a gift of service, perhaps she would like to be taken off the schedule and just doesn’t know how to ask.

BUT MOSTLY IT JUST REALLY BUGS ME. (That, of course, is the somewhat less than charitable part of my response.)

So, my friends, do I keep my mouth shut or let the woman who does the scheduling know about this perennial no-show?

 

[mamax3]

Well… it’s not exactly tattling… LOL

My son has had a similar issue as he is one of our altar servers. Our priest knows that he is very reliable & truly loves to serve so he usually schedules Chris every weekend. On those weekends that he isn’t serving, he usually arrives 15-20 minutes early anyway, just in case one of the servers doesn’t show & then he fills in. So, he also understands the frustrations you are expressing!

Our parish has a sign-in book next to the closets that hold the vestments for the altar servers – the lectors, servers & eucharistic ministers are to sign in next to the day & time of their scheduled Mass. This way, those who schedule know who is apt to be “reliable” and show up. Emergencies can always happen, but my son has always tried to call the rectory to alert them if something goes wrong.

I think it’s also part of the general climate nowadays – not everyone is as responsible as perhaps they might have been years ago. I would be tempted to suggest to your pastor that there be a sign-in book to keep track of who has done their turn, etc. & let that be the “tattler”

 

[Pacbox]

Tell the woman who schedules that this woman isn’t showing up. Since that is just stating the facts, it’s not tattling. Have the scheduler talk to this woman with the suggestion that if she is unable to fully commit then to take a break from being a reader.

I also agree with having a sign in. Being a reader myself, we have a schedule posted on the wall in the Sacristy and have to initial when we show up next to our name on the day and time we are scheduled. So we know who shows up or not. We don’t tend to have that problem since it’s been the same group of people who are EMHC or readers since I’ve been reading.

 

[MusicMan]

In my parish, the reader handles both readings (and the Psalm if the Choir isn’t up for it). If Father doesn’t have a reader by 5 minutes to the start of Mass, he pokes his head out, identifies a reader in the congregation, and brings them the Gospel Book (rather subtly too) as he heads to the back for the Procession. No one ever says no, and there’s always plenty of help available.

If he doesn’t have servers, there’s always some other minister available to recruit some, and failing that, if I am on to play, I use the “staring ME!” psychology on the youngsters. I go out and light the candles myself. Father usually has to turn volunteer servers away within about 90 seconds of me lighting the candles.

If we are short on Communion Distributors, Father quickly indicates this right after the Fraction.

No one in our parish (save one reader) ever behaves as if the spotlight is on them. And the one reader just needs to be reminded that it’s not his job to use the touchdown gesture to indicate that the congregation is to stand at the Gospel Acclamation.

If this person isn’t getting the job done, just let someone higher up know, but don’t ever think people think “it’s all about so-and-so who keeps getting up to do things.” Just get the job done, if you’re the one who can get it done.

 

[drafdog]

Nowhere in the opening post is there mention that you spoke to the woman herself. Before you go to a third party, the scripture insists that you discuss the problem with the person with whom you have the problem.

Matthew

 

[Dysmas1]

If we are short on Communion Distributors…QUOTE]

Excuse me MusicMan, but I would simply like to point out that “Communion Distributors” is not a term applied to anyone. Layity who have been temporarily authorized to ‘distribute’ Holy Communion are officially known as Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion.

I humbly offer this correction.

God bless you and your family.
Dismas

 

[cavalierfan]

I would take this issue up with the person first before I go to my pastor. I hope this helps. Being a lay reader is not as easy as people think, because I’ve done it before.

 

[Cavaille-Coll]

I think it’s also part of the general climate nowadays – not everyone is as responsible as perhaps they might have been years ago. I would be tempted to suggest to your pastor that there be a sign-in book to keep track of who has done their turn, etc. & let that be the “tattler”

No kidding. It is part of the entitlement mentality prevailing among many people today. These days, the easiest way to impress your boss is simply to show up on time and not call in sick too often. I’ve worked with many people, almost all of them in their 20’s, who figure that “somebody will fill in for them” if they feel “sick” (i.e. going to the beach). At our parish, altar servers and lectors are scheduled a month in advance, but many Sundays, there are no servers. In this case, I blame the parents for not bringing them to Mass. This past winter, our local Sunday newspaper showed a front-page photo of a happy family playing at a nearby ski resort. One of the children was in the First Holy Communion class, which is scheduled on Sundays, and of course, he child did not show that day.

 

[NeedImprovement]

MusicMan;3497701:

If we are short on Communion Distributors…QUOTE]

Excuse me MusicMan, but I would simply like to point out that “Communion Distributors” is not a term applied to anyone. Layity who have been temporarily authorized to ‘distribute’ Holy Communion are officially known as Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion.

I humbly offer this correction.

God bless you and your family.
Dismas

The term “Eucharistic Minister” belongs in the same category as Communion Distributor. Neither of them are valid terms; one is either an ordinary minister of Holy Communion or an extraordinary minister of Holy Communion.

Perhaps one should give a little credit to MusicMan just the same for although he may not have gotten the title right, the job description is accurate: An extraordinary minister of Holy Communion “distributes” Holy Communion to Christ’s brothers and sisters.

(btw @ Dysmas 1 - great user name - one of my favorite saints).

God bless you and your dear ones too.

 

[Dysmas1]

Point well taken, thanks.

God bless,
Dysmas1