Teaching children about homosexuality

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LeonStefan

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Dominus vobiscum.
I am a Turkish Catholic (convert), and I have a little sister who is 10 years old, yesterday, she told me that one of her close friends who is a girl, has a crush on another girl, and wanted me to talk about that, I did not say anything.
She trusts me on moral issues, but I did not expect her to ask me about this.
Can you help me teach her the Catholic sexual morality.
Thank you already for your help, God bless you all.

Edit: I think I am going to tell her first not to judge, and that as little children they can be confused about this issue, and that God created humanity as man and woman and marriage can only be between a man and a woman.
Thank you all for your answers, I really appriciate that. God bless you all.
 
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My post may not be the most helpful, but as a more general comment it is very important that we be able to talk about these things with our children. Otherwise they will get the impression we don’t know, or don’t have a reasoned position, and will trust what others say. You have to be careful, though.

If you’re at a loss, try reaching out to your priest.
 
One thing that is always safe is to affirm the wisdom of committing our actions to what God has defined as good. A river is a beautiful and good thing when it stays within the riverbanks. But if it goes beyond the riverbanks it becomes destructive. God’s riverbanks for romantic relationships would keep it between a male and a female, and to limit the physical involvement until the sacrament of marriage has happened. God restricts us because he loves us, like any loving parent would. He knows that we cannot always see how a certain action might harm us or society, or deprive us of maximum joy. At her young age, try not to get too specific. A general answer like this may satisfy her, for now. Doing the right thing is often very hard in such a sinful world, but it really is the path of maximum joy in the long term.
 
I asked a priest, he said that it is a weird situation but didn’t say anything that I can tell her
 
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She’s only 10, did you ask her how she feels, what think about what her friend said? It might not mean anything more then how a friend likes a friend… why does it automatically have to mean anything sexual?
 
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Tweens, especially girls, may become extremely attached to one another, and even have a hero(ine?🙂) worshiping, romantic angle to it.
There’s no way to predict this girl’s adult orientation from this.
It’s on the girls’ parents to adequately chaperone their kids so they don’t peer pressure each other into experimenation.

Does your little sis know how babies are conceived yet?
 
I dont think she mean anything sexual, at the end of the day, they are little children, but my sister told me that her friend was in love/ have a crush on that girl, in Turkish these words mean more than similar but literally the same, and my sister asked me about the romantic love between two girls.
 
I dont know if my parents told her about this, but she knows that the other stories are not true about how babies conceived
 
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Okay, then she should really be talking about this with her mom.

But you sound like a caring big bro❤️
 
First thing, crushes between girls is not uncommon and it does not make one a homosexual. Our society has lost the idea of close, intimate friendship, admiration of another, without it being sexual.
 
I asked a priest, he said that it is a weird situation but didn’t say anything that I can tell her
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:roll_eyes:

There are challenging situations when raising children. I dont consider one like this weird! I consider it good that she wanted to talk with you about it!

I have told my daughter, “Some girls like girls. And some boys like boys. But only a man and woman can marry, even if they try.”

You can, and maybe should, suggest she asks your parents
 
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LeonStefan said:
she told me that one of her close friends who is a girl, has a crush on another girl, and wanted me to talk about that,
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She’s 10 years old. At that age, a lot of girls will have crushes on another girl or a favorite female teacher, etc.
It’s usually not a serious crush and many girls grow out of it within a few years when the boys start to mature and take an interest in them.

You see this in the Diary of Anne Frank for example - Anne had some feelings for a couple of her girl friends initially, but within maybe a year she was focusing on crushing on boys and eventually falling in young love with a boy.

At age 10 I would simply ask her why she wants to talk about it and perhaps say that the Catholic Church says that girls shouldn’t date girls or marry girls, also that many young girls go through this phase because their bodies and emotions are developing and things get confused, but they grow out of it and date boys and eventually marry a boy.

That’s about all that needs to be said to a 10 year old in my opinion.
 
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Again, she’s 10 years old. Your average 10-year-old is not going to understand what “intrinsically disordered” means. It needs to be explained in clear language that a child can understand.
 
I would not go straight to discussion of homosexuality at this age. 10 to perhaps 14 year olds are in a phase of seeking social relationships for the first time that go beyond who might simply be close in proximity and age to share toys with. Many young girls make a first true “best friend” in this time and can develop a “crush” that is not sexual. I used to cry at that age when my cousins had to go home from family parties…all five of us girls truly hurt to be apart. Similarly I was heartbroken when my fifth grade best friend (in the US that is about a 10 or 11 year old) “broke up” as my best friend and picked a new best friend. This was rampant behaviour…girls constantly picked and dumped new “best friends”. It was almost practice ground for liking boys a few years later. For example, our teacher permitted us to move our desks around the classroom and pick who to sit by, and this was a big deal social maneuver for girls… the boys thought it was stupid to keep moving furniture but the girls would spat and pick new best friends to sit by.

This is an age when girls interact more emotionally with each other…toys and games are being cast aside and the talking and secrets and so on start. Unfortunately, so does “mean girls” behaviour…teasing, excluding girls and so on

I think it is a gigantic developmental mistake to immerse kids in LGBT culture because it is confusing and can make them think they are gay when they simply are making initial same-gender close friendships for the first time and are euphoric to feel such closeness outside of family. They may crush on girls they aren’t close with…it’s usually envy, not attraction.

It happens later for boys…they are not satisfied to sit around talking at 10 or 12 and connect still over shared activities whether sports, video games, etc.

I would tell the young lady it is normal for straight girls to have feelings for a girl at this age and it doesn’t mean they are gay, but does mean they need to have more than one friend and stop themselves from obsessing because it’s a bad habit. They need to stop so that in a few years, they aren’t stalking some uninterested boy.

They more likely want to be similar to the girl they are crushing on than to be with her. They may envy her hair or clothing or how popular she is. She may just want to be popular too.

When she goes through puberty she will start liking boys more.
 
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You don’t want a 10 year old kid running around throwing around words like “disordered”. Kids don’t have discretion about when not to repeat things.

Also, as several others have mentioned, this is not necessarily a discussion about homosexuality at age 10. Crushes can be totally innocent, and kids may well not be thinking about sex even if they know about the birds and the bees.
 
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Fine, you were a highly intelligent and well-behaved child. I’m speaking about average children, of which I have decades of knowledge.

Go ahead and say what you want to your own kids and have fun dealing with some of the situations that are likely to result.
 
This is one of the educational aspects of being a parent. Please discuss this with your parents and allow them to handle it.
 
LeonStefan said:
Dominus vobiscum.
I am a Turkish Catholic (convert), and I have a little sister who is 10 years old, yesterday, she told me that one of her close friends who is a girl, has a crush on another girl, and wanted me to talk about that, I did not say anything.
She trusts me on moral issues, but I did not expect her to ask me about this.
Can you help me teach her the Catholic sexual morality.
Thank you already for your help, God bless you all.

Edit: I think I am going to tell her first not to judge, and that as little children they can be confused about this issue, and that God created humanity as man and woman and marriage can only be between a man and a woman.
Thank you all for your answers, I really appriciate that. God bless you all.
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It’s very important to encourage people to use what we might call “common sense”. This appeal can be made to just about any age person. And the Gospels support it wholeheartedly.

Point out the many times Jesus appeals to the senses:
“You have heard”
“Look at the…”
etc…
Human beings are given sensory powers to inform good common sense judgments about the world around us. We should trust those and not subject them to deceptions and emotional distortions.

And always point to the good. Sexual morality points to the good of human existence.
“Isn’t it good to be alive?”
“This is the unique way that human beings come to be”
This can promote an appreciation for the good ends of sexuality, without saying one bad word about homosexuals.
The most common error in evangelization occurs when morality is proposed as merely a set of prohibitions or condemnations, rather than a call to human goodness and flourishing.
 
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