Teaching Grandchildren Catechism

[bobrec]

I have what seems to me to be a very difficult problem.

I was agnostic for most of my adult life, I am ashamed to say, and only recently returned to the Faith. My wife, the love of my life, is Lutheran and my children were raised non-catholic. Happily, my oldest daughter married a Catholic.

My son-in-law however is a Cafeteria Catholic at best, who doesn’t attend mass and has not taught Jason anything about God, Jesus, the Blessed Mother, or anything else of a religious nature.

To say my daughter is ambivalent about religion would be putting it kindly. My son-in-law’s attitude is not much better.

They have given us two beautiful grandchildren, both of whom are baptized Catholic. But they plan to enroll their children in public school; so God only knows if they will ever receive any religious instruction.

I do not see my grandchildren as often as I would prefer; I am not a teacher and I haven’t a clue where to begin.

I would like to try to instill in Jason, and later his sister, Gwenyth, now 2, something about their Catholic faith. I have just began trying to teach him the basics, such as blessing himself, bedtime prayers, grace before meals, etc. Needless to say it is a daunting task.

I do not feel either qualified or competent to do this. I am a traditional Catholic but feel that if the children ever go to mass at all it will probably be the OF, which is fine.

I am concerned that my grand-children souls will be in danger without knowing about Our Lord, and having the benefit of the sacraments.

Any advice you could provide will be greatly appreciated.

 

[otjm]

You are in a bit of a delicate situation. Teaching them without the express permission of their parents could possibly put you in the position of being on the outs with the parents and result in you seeing them less, rather than more. It could also be used against you (usually in anger) by painting you as arch conservative.

Given both parents’ attitudes towards Catholicism, it is a bit surprising, but some grace, that the children were even baptized, as the one doing the baptism is supposed to have some assurance that the children will be brough up in the faith. That seems pracitcally to not be the case.

However, as it is, I would suggest prayer, and lots of it; being open to any and all questions (but answering the questions, not seeking to turn them into a class), and maybe (and this one tends to be on thin ice too) talking with the parents. Realize that people who do not do what they are supposed to do, especially if they have had some scintilla of training that they should, often react to any suggestion that they are not acting according to what they were taught (or should be doing). and the reaction of guilt is often pushed aside by a reaction of anger. And that is going to be directed at you. It is certainly not wrong to state plainly that if the family is with you at a time that you would be in church (i.e. if they are staying at your house) then they are expected to get their carcasses out of whatever -bed, couch - and go to Mass. That too can backfire so they plan to not be there then (and sometimes later).

I don’t question in the least your concerns or desires. It has, however, been an area where reactions are often made in anger and decisions are made that benefit no one. Walk extremely carefully.

And pray a lot.

 

[bobrec]

I never considered that my addressing the needs of my grandson’s religious education would be met by any opposition. I have a very good, loving relationship with all of my children.

Since neither of them are very conscientious about their own religion, they simply forget it is their responsibility as parents to see to the children’s spiritual upbringing.

They do not object to my taking the initiative. My problem is I don’t really know how to go about it myself. One of my careers was as a senior NCO in the Air National Guard (USAF), so I know how to lead by example. However I’m unsure about how to do that with ones so young.

That’s the major part of my problem.

 

[doanli]

I never considered that my addressing the needs of my grandson’s religious education would be met by any opposition. I have a very good, loving relationship with all of my children.

Since neither of them are very conscientious about their own religion, they simply forget it is their responsibility as parents to see to the children’s spiritual upbringing.

They do not object to my taking the initiative. My problem is I don’t really know how to go about it myself. One of my careers was as a senior NCO in the Air National Guard (USAF), so I know how to lead by example. However I’m unsure about how to do that with ones so young.

That’s the major part of my problem./QUOTE

Talk this over with your children, and ask them if you can help with the religious formation of their kids; hopefully, they won’t get defensive about it. But accept whatever they tell you, with respect towards them as the children’s parents. You can also take the grandkids to Mass with you and explain to them what is going on and who the statues are of too.

But whatever you do, do not be antagonistic to the parents–keep that positive relationship going with them so you have that lifeline towards your grandkids. And above all, set a good Christian example to those children—that will pay off in dividends!

(I’m not a counselor whatsoever, but I hope this helps you. God bless you and your family.)

 

[adstrinity]

Pray for your family.

If they ever spend time with you or spend the night at your place, teach by example and have them follow you when you say grace at meals and cross yourself.

Buy a Catholic Children’s Bible, the Lives of the Saints picture books, and the Baltimore Catechism of the Catholic Church (or any one of those), and read it to them before bed.

 

[bobrec]

There’s no antagonism between my daughter and I. Nor does my son-in-law object to my taking the initiative to teach Jason about God, and Catholicism. He just hasn’t done it.

We used to have the children a couple of days every week to help them save money on day care. But that was before both my daughter and son-in-law were laid off.

Thankfully, my daughter just got part-time work; and when my son-in-law finds another job, my wife and I hope to resume baby-sitting duties. In the interim we don’t have them with us much.

Funny story: I was trying to teach Jason to say his prayers before putting him to bed. He did not know about kneeling to pray and when I showed him how to bless himself, he stated that he didn’t want to say “Holy Ghost” because that was scary! He was more comfortble with “Holy Spirit”; which I thought is more accurate anyway.

The suggestions I’ve received here on this forum will be of great help to me. I was looking for assistance in regard to what books I can get to help me explain things to a five year old.

As I already knew, and most parents soon realize; children learn much of what they need to know by example.

 

[doanli]

Is there a Catholic bookstore nearby?

I know EWTN has a children’s area on their website.

You’re doing very well. I am thankful at least your daughter and SIL are open and okay with teaching the kids about God and His Church.

 

[Rence]

If you’re able to afford it, ask for permission to gift the children with catechism classes (sunday school), starting with the 5 year old, and then when the time comes, the 2 year old.