Thank you, I was hoping Janet S would reply to your post as to me it seemed so opposed to her writing.
As far as I know, I don’t disagree with Janet S. on anything substantial. I am willing to have her correct me, if I ever do.
When I say that some things may be trivial for some couples, what I mean is that it isn’t really possible to set objective criteria, since every couple is different.
It remains, however, that childbearing should only be avoided for very serious reasons - no one should avoid child-bearing for trivial reasons, even if,
in someone else’s case, that reason would constitute something very serious.
That was really convoluted - let me give an example:
Take the heir to a vast fortune, vs. a young man from the working class who took out several loans (which he is still paying off) to get his education.
Both men have the same education, both went to the same school, and both got married on the same day. Further, they both got similar jobs at the same company. They are both just starting out.
We’ll call the heir to a vast fortune “Henry” and we’ll call the working-class fellow “John.”
Both Henry and John are excited about their new jobs and their new marriages, and they’re both thinking about having their first child.
All of a sudden, something terrible happens to the company, and both Henry and John get laid off.
Both of them know that they are well-qualified, and will soon be re-employed by a different company.
Henry asks his Dad to help him out in the interim.
John makes a call to the bank to let them know that he won’t be able to make any loan payments for the next while, and his wife gets a cashier’s job at the local minimart to meet their day to day expenses.
Henry and his wife talk about whether they should delay having their first child. They examine the situation, and realize that they are well able to support a child, even under the present circumstances, because Henry’s Dad will be more than willing to help out with any unexpected expenses.
John and his wife talk about whether they should delay having their first child, and realize that if they encounter any unexpected expenses under the current circumstances, then they could easily become homeless. So, they decide to delay their first pregnancy until John’s employment situation becomes more stable, and his wife can quit the job at the minimart.
Do you see the difference? Even though both couples are in exactly the same situation
objectively speaking, there is a
subjective difference in the level of urgency.
In Henry’s case, his temporary lack of employment is not a serious reason to delay a pregnancy. But in John’s case, it
is a serious reason.
