Teaching our children safe sex

[Riley259]

The “safe sex” concept makes me so angry! I’m a 20-year-old college student, and my three closest girlfriends have all had pregnancy scares within the past month, while practicing “safe sex”, because they grew up thinking that with condoms they’d be okay.

And in only one case is the young lady still with the gentleman she was with during the scare. It’s so sad. They know how I feel, and I try to influence, but only one is currently a practicing Catholic, so I don’t know how much luck I’m going to have.

While I complain sometimes about my so-so love life…I am so grateful that living chastely has kept me from the heartache that plagues my girlfriends when they have sex with their boyfriends.

Stay strong - you’re doing the right thing.

 

[Erich]

When my mother was in the hospital and near death, we decided not to have a feeding tube inserted, mainly because we knew that she would not want it. Some would say we let her starve to death. I don’t agree. Isn’t that “picking and choosing”?

Yes it is, actually. The CCC teaches,

2278 Discontinuing medical procedures that are burdensome, dangerous, extraordinary, or disproportionate to the expected outcome can be legitimate; it is the refusal of “over-zealous” treatment. Here one does not will to cause death; one’s inability to impede it is merely accepted. The decisions should be made by the patient if he is competent and able or, if not, by those legally entitled to act for the patient, whose reasonable will and legitimate interests must always be respected.

2279 Even if death is thought imminent, the ordinary care owed to a sick person cannot be legitimately interrupted. The use of painkillers to alleviate the sufferings of the dying, even at the risk of shortening their days, can be morally in conformity with human dignity if death is not willed as either an end or a means, but only foreseen and tolerated as inevitable. Palliative care is a special form of disinterested charity. As such it should be encouraged./QUOTE]

Food and water are not “medical procedures” they are “ordinary care”. Surgery, dialysis, etc. are “medical procedures”

 

[newbetx]

Of course I am hoping my children will abstain from sex until they are in a loving, committed relationship. But I plan on teaching them about safe sex and contraceptives, in addition to teaching them about abstaining.

I would rather have a sexually active adult child that is ALIVE and healthy, than a sexually active adult child that didn’t have the proper education and is fighting a deadly disease.

I SO thought that consentual sex was just the greatest gift God gave us all. And then after years of it, divorce, pain, failure to find the “perfect man/woman”, etc, etc. etc. Where this all leads is complete and utter failure to find the love you are looking for in the first place. And the wrecking of many lives in the process.

For you, I’d recommend “Real Love” by Mary Beth Bonacci before you teach your kids about “a healthy sex life.”

I am not thinking this is a “just trust me, don’t do it” thing to teach your children. “Free sex” is like “free drugs.” It does not lead us to where we want to be. It’s like riding a roller coster that isn’t quite finished. There will be a wreck at the end. THAT is what I am attempting to teach my children.

 

[StratusRose]

Another thing that comes up is the emotional issues. Every day, I hear about girls who have the hardest time breaking up with a guy because they shared so much physical intimacy with the guys. I also hear of girls who use guys just for hookups while the guys really like these girls and see it as a way to get close. A condom can’t protect you from that. It’s really sad to see.

You are a very smart young woman. I never thought about what condoms DON’T protect you from. Someone should make an ad campaign about that.

Bless you for continuing to do the right thing. I remained a virgin until my wedding night, if I could do it, TRUST me, you can too. It was so worth it.

 

[Denae]

I hate it how people can just pick and choose what part of the faith you want to follow and ignore the parts that you don’t.

 

[whatevergirl]

I hate it how people can just pick and choose what part of the faith you want to follow and ignore the parts that you don’t.

http://i138.photobucket.com/albums/q244/bookishfreak06/Closed1.jpg

that is GREAT!!! I LOVE THAT.:clapping:

 

[Pixie_Dust]

that is GREAT!!! I LOVE THAT.:clapping:

I like it, too.

 

[Denae]

Thank you! Gotta love google images!

 

[TridentineFan]

Of course I am hoping my children will abstain from sex until they are in a loving, committed relationship. But I plan on teaching them about safe sex and contraceptives, in addition to teaching them about abstaining.

I would rather have a sexually active adult child that is ALIVE and healthy, than a sexually active adult child that didn’t have the proper education and is fighting a deadly disease.

I have not read the five pages of responses, so apologize if I’m simply duplicating what others have said.

Your perspective is secular and selfish. Our job as parents is to raise saints (those who will die in a state of grace and spend eternity with the beatific vision of God). You would rather have your child’s body alive and healthy but his soul dead and gripped by sin. You are saying that you’d rather selfishly enjoy your child healthy from an illness but have the child forever live in hell, separated from God.

Please think more about this.

 

[Island_Oak]

Safe sex is baloney!
Trust me I know.
While using condoms, contraceptives, oral dams, etc., you still run the risk of catching hepatitis, HPV and candida which can all be spread from “just kissing” much less all out sex with protection. There is no such thing as safe sex. I’m celibate gay and I know. When I was “active” I used condoms (that never broke) and no matter how safe I was, I ended up catching horrible stuff.

Abstinence is the only safe sex.
Don’t believe the media…safe sex is a lie.

Perhaps…but there are countless Catholics as well as non-Catholics who do not arrive at the altar as virgins–and who owe the fact of their disease and pregnancy-free status not to good judgement and self-control but to the use of contraceptives. I know. I am one of them.

My children will likewise be educated fully on all the options because that is the only way I can assure that they are apprised of all the risks (moral and physical) of everything from abstinence to abortion.

 

[fix]

I have not read the five pages of responses, so apologize if I’m simply duplicating what others have said.

Your perspective is secular and selfish. Our job as parents is to raise saints (those who will die in a state of grace and spend eternity with the beatific vision of God). You would rather have your child’s body alive and healthy but his soul dead and gripped by sin. You are saying that you’d rather selfishly enjoy your child healthy from an illness but have the child forever live in hell, separated from God.

Please think more about this.

I agree and would add it seems absurd to claim there is any real choice in such a matter. As if to say one should abstain, but if you can’t then you should do XYZ. That is no choice.

Is there a choice to rob a bank or sexually asault someone? In some sense I guess, but choosing evil is never the correct option no matter what end you hope to attain.

 

[Island_Oak]

I agree and would add it seems absurd to claim there is any real choice in such a matter. As if to say one should abstain, but if you can’t then you should do XYZ. That is no choice.

Is there a choice to rob a bank or sexually asault someone? In some sense I guess, but choosing evil is never the correct option no matter what end you hope to attain.

It must be quite something living in the hermetically sealed world you seem to occupy. There is always a choice–some good , some bad. Fortunately, for all of us, there is also forgiveness. For those who are not born into a perfect state of moral rectitude nor ever manage to achieve such perfection, apparently a death sentence is the rightful consequence. Those of us grateful to be alive long enough to see the light and repent want nothing more than the same for our kids–the very people whom we love most selflessly yet whose choices none of us can “control”. We do not advocate a path we may now regret–in fact do our best to educate and warn our kids about the consequences of poor choices–but we do believe in second acts, second chances and redemption–a choice available only if the player is still in the game.

 

[fix]

It must be quite something living in the hermetically sealed world you seem to occupy. There is always a choice–some good , some bad. Fortunately, for all of us, there is also forgiveness. For those who are not born into a perfect state of moral rectitude nor ever manage to achieve such perfection, apparently a death sentence is the rightful consequence.

No it is not that one must die. I could say the same for bank robbery. Why not wear a bullet proof vest if you must rob? Would you call me sanctimonious if I told my children not to rob a bank or claim I did not care for their life if I did not advise a vest?

Those of us grateful to be alive long enough to see the light and repent want nothing more than the same for our kids–

So, encouraging sin is the answer? Again, a false choice.

the very people whom we love most selflessly yet whose choices none of us can “control”. We do not advocate a path we may now regret–in fact do our best to educate and warn our kids about the consequences of poor choices–but we do believe in second acts, second chances and redemption–a choice

available only if the player is still in the game. I see. So, engaging in fornication, while "protected", will save their life? What other gravely immoral actions do I need to tell others are ok to do because you may get a chance to repent?

 

[Island_Oak]

My point has utterly escaped you. Go back and read #69 if you persist in suggesting that I am educating for the purpose of encouraging immorality.

 

[8isgr8]

It is lack of education in the Catholic homes that is spreading STDs and unwanted pregnancies.

Sorry I’m coming into this very late, but… ???

Do you mean to say that it’s only Catholics who are getting STD’s and getting (unwantedly) pregnant?

Or do you mean to say that what I teach my children, here in my
Catholic home, about so-called safe sex is going to have an actual physical impact on the spread of disease among other people?

So two possibilities: tonight a young couple halfway across the country, one of them with a disease, gets intimate, and the condom breaks. If I hurry and tell my kids about condoms right now, before it happens, it will prevent her getting pregnant or an STD. If I leave my children ignorant, she’ll get pregnant and a disease, and it’s my fault?

I was under the impression that it was sexual activity that spreads STD’s and causes pregnancy of any sort.

 

[jmcrae]

Or do you mean to say that what I teach my children, here in my Catholic home, about so-called safe sex is going to have an actual physical impact on the spread of disease among other people?

I would say that encouraging Catholic youth to have sex “safely” rather than abstain from sex until marriage and then remain faithful in marriage, contributes something to the overall problem, since it gives the impression to others that the Church isn’t really very serious about this “chastity” thing, and also that, obviously, if Catholic kids, who are trained up with self-discipline, can’t be expected to keep their pant(ie)s on, then who can?

So, it just adds fuel to the propaganda that “it’s just not realistic to expect kids to be chaste.”

 

[cherubim]

I know it’ll be hard to teach nowadays kids to follow the catholic teaching,but I won’t let the kids do premarital sex and use any contraceptive to justify any misdeed.If I bring up the kids with catholic teaching I hope the kids will carry on with it and carry out their own lives later sticking on to this teaching too.I know as parents you can’t watch over your kids all the time,but with God’s help and daily prayer with and for them,nothing is impossible.Important as well to discuss anything with honest with your kids.Spend enough time as well with your kids.It’s so easy to fall into misdeed/doing,but it’s possible to do on the contrary too.People have choice in their lives,lead an astray life or a good life,the choice’s yours/ours/theirs.If you are afraid of God you’ll choose a just life,people will hate you,cos God’s teaching is hated by people.
Have peace

 

[8isgr8]

I would say that encouraging Catholic youth to have sex “safely” rather than abstain from sex until marriage and then remain faithful in marriage, contributes something to the overall problem, since it gives the impression to others that the Church isn’t really very serious about this “chastity” thing, and also that, obviously, if Catholic kids, who are trained up with self-discipline, can’t be expected to keep their pant(ie)s on, then who can?

So, it just adds fuel to the propaganda that “it’s just not realistic to expect kids to be chaste.”

jmcrae, I’m with you. The OP seems to think that if Catholics don’t teach their kids how to use condoms, it affects whether that microbe does or doesn’t infect someone else half a continent away.

I agree with your point that if we Catholics taught our children our Catholic beliefs more strongly, our example would have a positive impact on the world, and of course lower the spread of STD’s and unwanted pregnancies among Catholics.

Denae, I LOVE that picture! I agree with you about the picking and choosing, which is why I made a decision years ago to follow ALL the church’s teaching. I was not and am not so bold as to think that I know better than 2,000 years of the greatest minds and holiest saints.

 

[Denae]

Denae, I LOVE that picture! I agree with you about the picking and choosing, which is why I made a decision years ago to follow ALL the church’s teaching. I was not and am not so bold as to think that I know better than 2,000 years of the greatest minds and holiest saints.

Amen to that!

 

[whatevergirl]

Teaching safe sex only teaches about the physical ramifications of pre martial sex. My gf’s who had pre marital sex cried many a night over their decisions. They regretted having pre marital sex because it made them feel a variety of things…cheap, used, like a piece of meat, unloved, when they were seeking love, disrespected. All of these things are why I teach my kids abstinence…not just that they won’t deal with a pregnancy or disease. That’s topical, yet important–but the spiritual and emotional consequences of taking sex out of God’s context for it–can scar a person forever.