Teaching Sex Ed

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ChildOfTheLight

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Hi

I would appreciate responses from teachers but all are welcome.

I am hopefully going to be entering a bachelor of education program next year. I can’t wait to teach but I have a small problem.

Since my specialty is in math and science I may also be required to take on health classes. This would require that I teach about human sexuality, likely in a maner I don’t agree with (teaching about how to use condoms, teaching about abortion…etc.). As far as I know it is a sin to teach someone how to sin. Am I covered by the fact that I do not desire to do this, it’s just an unfortunately necessary part of my job?

I hope to teach in a catholic school, but may have to start secularly, as there is only one catholic school in my whole province. Maybe catholic school wouldn’t even save me from this (I hear how uncatholic some are becoming 😦 ). Also, I would like to teach in a way that promoted nfp and prolife, but I certainly could not change the whole curriculum and there may be no way to avoid some things.

I know many jobs have a few bad elements involved, but I hope I am not sinning by teaching this.

Thanks,

CotL
 
ChildOfTheLight said:
Am I covered by the fact that I do not desire to do this, it’s just an unfortunately necessary part of my job?
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No. You cannot teach children how to contracept or have abortions.
ChildOfTheLight said:
I hope to teach in a catholic school, but may have to start secularly, as there is only one catholic school in my whole province. Maybe catholic school wouldn’t even save me from this (I hear how uncatholic some are becoming 😦 ). Also, I would like to teach in a way that promoted nfp and prolife, but I certainly could not change the whole curriculum and there may be no way to avoid some things.
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You should investigate the laws where you live, the local curriculum, and what lattitude you have in the matter.

You could take math and other science positions.

You could not take one in which you would be teaching immoral actions as either “good” or morally neutral.
 
  1. sex is not a sinful thing.
  2. you’re not teaching them how. you’re teaching them how to prevent unwanted babies. and STDs. They’re going to have sex anyway, why not show how to be safe for themselves?
  3. Why are you worried about “sinning?” You’re afraid to go to a fictional place called hell?
 
Thank you for the reply 1ke.

BISHPLZ, I find your attitude in your third point extremely uncharitable. I can offer you (as many others on this forum can) good evidence for the catholic faith. Challenge me please, but to call my beliefs “fictional” is insulting.

Thank you,

CofL
 
BISHPLZ said:
  1. sex is not a sinful thing.
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You’re right, it’s not… inside the bond of marriage.

However, here are some reasons why pre-marital sex is a mortal sin:
  1. Human law provides the minimum standard for humans to live by. In other words, what is the most that humans can get away with without destroying themselves? God’s law is exactly the opposite. God holds us to the highest standard possible. In other words, what behavior would be needed in order to achieve an absolute perfect society? We don’t change God’s law to suit us because we fall short. We don’t even change God’s law because it’s impossible for humans to achieve. Instead, we adapt because we should always be striving for the ideal. With that stated, what kind of behavior do you think God would expect of unmarried couples?
  2. Moral behavior also requires that we have the highest respect for human life possible. As such, we should never do harm, short of self-defense. Pre-marital sex, no matter how careful, always has a risk of pregnancy. This could lead the mother to another mortal sin through abortion. The couple is also putting a potential human life’s entire future at risk by not being prepared to accept the responsibility to raise it or be prepared to do so in advance. It might have to grow up in a single parent or unstable household, finances would not have been prepared, and so on. The fact that a couple could potentially put an innocent life at risk is the highest form of selfishness and is completely irresponsible.
  3. Despite years of scientific study and philosophical debate, no one knows precisely when the soul enters the human body and human life begins. As such, Catholics are required to take the safest route and assume the most conservative answer, which is that life begins at the moment of conception. Birth control can cause the failure of a fertilized egg to implant, thus causing an abortion. Someone could be the unknowing partner to unintentional murder. Some might also choose to use the morning after pill, which does essentially the same thing, but on purpose.
  4. Pre-marital sex always presents the possibility of sexually transmitted disease. It would be a grave sin to infect someone with a dangerous disease, and some diseases, like HIV, can be transmitted even through condoms. People might not even know they have them. HPV has no symptoms, and yet can cause cervical cancer. How many times have people believed themselves to be in a monogamous relationship, only to discover that their partner is cheating? Over 50% of the population has been cheated on at some point. How many had suspicions beforehand?
  5. Promiscuity leads to more promiscuity. By sleeping around, it decreases the special bond that one has when they are exclusive with a single partner. They want to explore the lustful side of sexuality more, unimpeded by feelings. It increases the possibility of cheating during marriage, and has helped to contribute to our skyrocketing divorce rate. Why get married when I can just sleep with someone and move on? People get obsessed with the initial sexual attraction, and never move on to the more intimate phases of relationships. When the fireworks stop, they simply dump their lover, find someone new, and recapture the feeling again. You always hear in the movies about “fear of commitment”. Well, a LOT of this is due to the fact that people think they have a good thing going. Why would they want to limit their sexual fun by committing permanently to someone?
  6. During pre-marital sex, one is treating the partner like an object of pleasure, rather than an object of love. (This can occur EVEN INSIDE OF A MARRIAGE, by the way…) Rather than using sex for its wondrous purpose, which is a special unity that offers the possibility for the creation of life, we detach from that purpose, and use it solely for pleasure. To be sure, sex is pleasurable and provides fun and great intimacy for couples, but it is meant to be a unique bond that strengthens the family unit, rather than fracturing it through promiscuity. By giving into lust, a couple is exploiting each other for selfish purposes, even if the bond of love is there. The minute that sex becomes just about fun, the couple begins to test those boundaries to see how much fun one can have. These boundaries are difficult to resist, and one can find themselves in trouble very fast. Even inside a marriage, when you are not open to life, you are taking one of the most special gifts of God, which is actually being allowed to participate in the process of creation, and rejecting it as if it is worthless.
So, why is pre-marital sex bad? It could lead to abortion, it could lead to the creation of a child with a family completely unprepared to raise it, it can transmit disease, it is selfish, it weakens the family, it provides a mentality for divorce and lack of commitment, it is exploitative, and is the misuse of a hugely unique gift from God. Does that help?
  1. you’re not teaching them how. you’re teaching them how to prevent unwanted babies. and STDs. They’re going to have sex anyway, why not show how to be safe for themselves?
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This is a false premise. It is not a foregone conclusion that everyone is going to have sex. Now, even if MOST people do, it’s still not the church’s job to teach them how to sin with less consequences. Remember, Catholic morality is about teaching how people would behave in an ideal world. For example, if one lives in a high crime area, you don’t cure theft by decriminalizing it. Sure, technically, no one is committing a crime anymore, but the underlying problem and its consequences are still there.
  1. Why are you worried about “sinning?” You’re afraid to go to a fictional place called hell?
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No, we’re worried about going to an actual place called hell which you apparently reject.
 
Considering all the Sex Ed going on in secular schools; is it really that surprising with the increasing loss of parochial schools that more and more Catholics parents are taking the full responsibility the Home School their own children with Catholic moral values.

In my archdiocese large groups of Catholic parents are pooling their money together to host homes and the necessary provincial educational material and initiating curriculum’s for kids from kindergarten to eight. No Sex Ed.

Parents are hoping that they can instill a sense a Catholic moral background in hope that it stays with their children before they enter grades 9-12. the worst years in secular schooling.

Catechizing today’s children requires much responsibility and devotion of parents than just relying on Sunday School Catechism. A huge responsibility of parents when many families have two parents working to bring in a stable annual income.

The last parochial school in my archdiocese died in 1980.
 
ChildOfTheLight said:
Hi

I would appreciate responses from teachers but all are welcome.

I am hopefully going to be entering a bachelor of education program next year. I can’t wait to teach but I have a small problem.

Since my specialty is in math and science I may also be required to take on health classes. This would require that I teach about human sexuality, likely in a maner I don’t agree with (teaching about how to use condoms, teaching about abortion…etc.). As far as I know it is a sin to teach someone how to sin. Am I covered by the fact that I do not desire to do this, it’s just an unfortunately necessary part of my job?

I hope to teach in a catholic school, but may have to start secularly, as there is only one catholic school in my whole province. Maybe catholic school wouldn’t even save me from this (I hear how uncatholic some are becoming 😦 ). Also, I would like to teach in a way that promoted nfp and prolife, but I certainly could not change the whole curriculum and there may be no way to avoid some things.

I know many jobs have a few bad elements involved, but I hope I am not sinning by teaching this.

Thanks,

CotL
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I’ve known people who run Catholic schools and school boards. They’ve all been arrogant and liars. Many of them were sleeping around.

Anyway, I believe that sex ed should be taught by the parents mainly because I feel uncomfortable being taught about sex. But if it has to be taught, I believe it should just tell kids what sex is and consequences involved and parents should consent to it first
 
ChildOfTheLight said:
Hi

I would appreciate responses from teachers but all are welcome.

I am hopefully going to be entering a bachelor of education program next year. I can’t wait to teach but I have a small problem.

Since my specialty is in math and science I may also be required to take on health classes. This would require that I teach about human sexuality, likely in a maner I don’t agree with (teaching about how to use condoms, teaching about abortion…etc.). As far as I know it is a sin to teach someone how to sin. Am I covered by the fact that I do not desire to do this, it’s just an unfortunately necessary part of my job?

I hope to teach in a catholic school, but may have to start secularly, as there is only one catholic school in my whole province. Maybe catholic school wouldn’t even save me from this (I hear how uncatholic some are becoming 😦 ). Also, I would like to teach in a way that promoted nfp and prolife, but I certainly could not change the whole curriculum and there may be no way to avoid some things.

I know many jobs have a few bad elements involved, but I hope I am not sinning by teaching this.

Thanks,

CotL
Click to expand...
Hey man. Hope I can help. I’m not a teacher so if I suggest something that you can’t do as a teacher, that’s why, lol. 😛

First off congrats on becoming a teacher. 🙂

Now on to your problem.

In regards to contraception; I see no problem with teaching the kids how a condom is supposed to be put on.

First off most of these kids will be having sex anyway; so it’s not like if they never heard from you about condoms, they’d be chaste.

Secondly teaching them how to correctly use a condom may very well prevent A LOT of unwanted pregnancies that could result in the girl having an abortion. 😦 A lot of kids “know” how to put on a condom; but they don’t really know. If you know what I mean, lol. 😛 So you saying this is how to put on a condom may actually SAVE THE LIVES OF UNBORN CHILDREN if the girl never gets pregnant and then chooses to kill her child.

Now onto abortion. 😦 That’s a tough one.

First off would it be possible for you to “forget” that part of the lesson? Just skip over talking about it? Spend extra time on condoms, lol. I’m sure the kids would love to talk about all the different types of condoms. 😛

Though if you absolutely HAD to talk about abortion :(; what if you said phrases like :
“And when the mother chooses to murder her child…”
“If the mother chooses to kill her child…”
Instead of phrases like :
“And when the mother chooses to “terminate” the pregnancy…”
“If the mother chooses to abort…”
Can you use phrases that in a round about way reflect your views while at the same time, not sugar coating the reality of abortion?
 
BISHPLZ said:
  1. sex is not a sinful thing.
  2. you’re not teaching them how. you’re teaching them how to prevent unwanted babies. and STDs. They’re going to have sex anyway, why not show how to be safe for themselves?
  3. Why are you worried about “sinning?” You’re afraid to go to a fictional place called hell?
Click to expand...
“going to have sex anyway”? Why is this assumed? This follows on the totally false idea that no one can control themselves.

I recommend the OP talk with a priest.

Peace,
Ed
 
I have a strong memory of being a teen. I was pressured about having sex at 13. At 18, I was cyberbullied and told I was a “waste of life” for not having sex. Didn’t lose it until 22, and even then, I felt like I was the last to. There is so much peer pressure. And I feel that unless students are properly educated, they will have some huge problems.

Now, I think this is how the curriculum should go.

Teach:
  1. Self Esteem
  2. Abstinence
  3. How the Reproductive System Works
  4. STDs and their Causes
Theennnn
5) Contraception

I mean yeah, even though they teach how to use condoms and give condoms out at school, there are still teens who are willing to have sex, or oral, or anal without a condom. Why?
  1. It feels good to them
  2. They’re too afraid to buy those things or ask for them in the pharmacy, where adults will look at them.
  3. They’re boyfriend tells them, "Oh let me stick it in just this once.)
  4. A man has a string in his penis that needs to break and can’t break if he’s wearing a condom.
  5. If you get pregnant, I’ll take care of the baby.
  6. They think they wont lose their virginity or get an STD if they do it by oral/anal.
Many teens are smart but many teens are really, really dumb.
 
“going to have sex anyway”? Why is this assumed? This follows on the totally false idea that no one can control themselves.
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Oh, they certainly could, and hopefully some will. However, it is known fact that quite a few will simply choose not to.
 
Sometimes it’s as little as, “oh, this is what adults do, so it must be cool.” Same thin with drinking alcohol. I know I found alcohol more interesting when I was 14-18 and I was going to parties. And simply telling teens not to drink just isn’t going to cut it. They need to know the effects of alcohol. How much can kill them, and how it can impair them. They need to also know, in this day and age that if you have someone pour you a drink and don’t watch, or you leave your drink unattended, someone can slip in a date rape drug.

Because yeah, it’s going to upset you to see them come home drunk, but it’s going to upset you more if they get raped or wind up dead from alcohol overdose.
 
Adam1986 said:
Hey man. Hope I can help. I’m not a teacher so if I suggest something that you can’t do as a teacher, that’s why, lol. 😛

First off congrats on becoming a teacher. 🙂

Now on to your problem.

In regards to contraception; I see no problem with teaching the kids how a condom is supposed to be put on.

**First off most of these kids will be having sex anyway; so it’s not like if they never heard from you about condoms, they’d be chaste. **

Secondly teaching them how to correctly use a condom may very well prevent A LOT of unwanted pregnancies that could result in the girl having an abortion. 😦 A lot of kids “know” how to put on a condom; but they don’t really know. If you know what I mean, lol. 😛 So you saying this is how to put on a condom may actually SAVE THE LIVES OF UNBORN CHILDREN if the girl never gets pregnant and then chooses to kill her child.

Now onto abortion. 😦 That’s a tough one.

First off would it be possible for you to “forget” that part of the lesson? Just skip over talking about it? Spend extra time on condoms, lol. I’m sure the kids would love to talk about all the different types of condoms. 😛

Though if you absolutely HAD to talk about abortion :(; what if you said phrases like :
“And when the mother chooses to murder her child…”
“If the mother chooses to kill her child…”
Instead of phrases like :
“And when the mother chooses to “terminate” the pregnancy…”
“If the mother chooses to abort…”
Can you use phrases that in a round about way reflect your views while at the same time, not sugar coating the reality of abortion?
Click to expand...
What an assumption! Obvious that you have absorbed the cultural messages and believed them whole cloth! Nonetheless, she as a Catholic is not free to demonstrate condom usage with the express purpose of having premarital sex. Showing teens (some school districts in the US start this sex education at age 5!) how to put on a condom gives them the clear message “You are OK to do this, and this little item will prevent all consequences that we are going to tell you about later.” Condoms do not prevent STDs nor pregnancy. Condoms break. Condoms leak. They are not 100% effective even if used absolutely correctly which TEENS CANNOT DO.

Do not respond in this way to someone who is asking whether she as a Catholic can teach this secular and sinful curriculum. She cannot without committing sin, and must either get a waiver from teaching those courses, or teach at a school that does not include such material. Teachers do not have the leeway to re-state the material in classes like this, and usually a first-year teacher is under supervision so she would most likely be terminated if she gave a religious perspective in a secular sex ed class.
 
I don’t really agree with you, but I appreciate you concerns.
In addition to your priest I recommend that you speak to your principal or department chairman. If allowed, after you teach the required material you might simply add a statement like this.
“You now know the biological facts about sex, and the various options available to you. But I feel it is my responsibility to say more. This is a very serious and adult subject. The choices you make about them can affect your whole life. I do not believe in sex outside of marriage. Buy I am not here to tell you what to do. I will suggest though that you have a serious conversation with your parents or your clergyman (if you are religious). I am sure they would be willing to speak to any of you”

I don’t think there should be any problem with this. Just give them a gentle push to seek additional advice and information.
 
This is a serious issue and expectations are required. Good and reasonable expectations.

Do you say, “I think I’ll start a business but I expect to fail.”?

Or, “I want to go to college but I expect I’ll fail.”?

You don’t tell young people, “I can’t tell you what to do.”

You tell them, “Don’t use illegal drugs. Here’s why. Don’t do it.”

Or, “Do not have sex before you get married. Period. If you get a girl pregnant, you are responsible.”

You don’t tell young people, “Aw, we all know you’re going to do it anyway.” You have no reason to believe that, and it certainly sends the wrong message. Adults, who kids regard as authority figures, not giving them even a tiny expectation? That’s wrong.

It’s like saying, “OK class. I know you guys are gonna mess up, so here’s some condoms and a manual.” I don’t think so.

Just like some of their peers expect them to have sex, don’t go around as an adult and send them the exact same message like it’s inevitable. Death and taxes are inevitable, not premarital sex.

Peace,
Ed
 
Yeah, it’s kind of like many parents are just throwing in the towel about teaching their kids any sexual values. It’s like nobody even cares anymore. Quite sad really.
 
edwest2 said:
You don’t tell young people, “I can’t tell you what to do.”

You tell them, “Don’t use illegal drugs. Here’s why. Don’t do it.”
Or, “Do not have sex before you get married. Period. If you get a girl pregnant, you are responsible.”

You don’t tell young people, “Aw, we all know you’re going to do it anyway.” You have no reason to believe that, and it certainly sends the wrong message. Adults, who kids regard as authority figures, not giving them even a tiny expectation? That’s wrong.

It’s like saying, “OK class. I know you guys are gonna mess up, so here’s some condoms and a manual.” I don’t think so.
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Ed,

You have remember we are talking about teaching in a classroom. I recommend the “I can’t tell you what to do, but this is what I believe” approach because that is the requirement of living in a heterogeneous society.
Separation of church and state does not mean you can never talk about moral issues in school. But one has to be careful to respect the liberties of others.
 
mcteague said:
Ed,

You have remember we are talking about teaching in a classroom. I recommend the “I can’t tell you what to do, but this is what I believe” approach because that is the requirement of living in a heterogeneous society.
Separation of church and state does not mean you can never talk about moral issues in school. But one has to be careful to respect the liberties of others.
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You are missing a very practical point. If you want to believe that because of some mythical Chuch/State separation, you can only offer your opinion, that’s up to you. It will get your students nowhere since you will ask them to make an assumption about their possible future behavior based on a hedonistic - lowest common denominator model.

I have taught in a classroom. Do I base my study course on the least bright student in the room or do I give all of the students the same goal? Yes, the least bright student will likely be behind in proportion to the others but if I do not set a high standard, then all the students suffer in their education.

I don’t buy the following: “On the premise of being able to predict your future behavior as a group, we’ve decided to give you what we call sex education so you don’t get somebody pregnant or pick up a disease. We should tell you up front that no artificial birth control method is 100% preventative so odds are a few of you will end up with an unwanted pregnancy or unwanted STD, but hey, that’s how it is.”

The better approach would be: “Don’t take a chance on sex outside of marriage. You and your partner might face an unplanned pregnancy or you might pick up an STD. The most responsible course of action, and your best course of action, is to delay having sex until you are in a committed, married relationship where you and one other person act responsibly regarding your sexuality. It is a myth that you cannot control your own sexuality.”

By saying that, you establish a thinking pattern that encourages rather than assumes and which reaches a right end, namely, personal responsibility and sex in marriage, where a commitment binds the two people. This as opposed to the assumed multiple sex partner scenario which is literally far more risky.

You have to ask yourself if pushing the multiple sex partner scenario is fair or reasonable. Or even the most responsible way to approach the issue.

Peace,
Ed
 
There are school districts in the US that include abstinence as the best way to prevent negative consequences. Before the current administration cut all the funding, abstinence educators were teaching in schools, public schools. This OP however is in Canada, which is a much more progressive country in general. Regionally, it might be different but I would expect the larger cities to be very liberal in their viewpoint about sex outside of marriage. And they don’t have our Bill of Rights either.

🙂
 
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