Greetings,
My 2 cents for what they are worth. I don’t see the problem with you telling your father you wouldn’t be over because the kids were sick. I always tell people if you are sick stay home. When my father-in-law was in this life my wife and I would not go to see him if we were sick(he was in his late 80’s-early 90’s). If we were watching on of his great nieces and she was sick we stayed away. Each time we were sick and stayed away we told him why(he probably appreciated our concern). I do the same for my mother who is only 78 at the moment.
As for your brother if you care too much about what he or anyone else thinks you are his/their slave. We have no control over what others think, say, or do so please don’t give yourself any anxiety attacks over his beliefs on germs.
to Coach: …seek professional help. Thank you-I may just adopt that-certainly gave me a chuckle. Be well and stay safe.
The problem with telling my dad that I couldn’t see him because our kids had runny noses would be that we had seen him on Monday so if my brother saw him on Tuesday and his son came down with a cold, terrible stomach bug, pneumonia or chicken pox within the next week, we’d get a call asking why we didn’t warn him, or he’d make a Facebook post about us not having the courtesy to tell others when our kids are sick. It’s nothing earth-shattering, but it’s not an annoyance I cared to deal with this week. After the fact, my wife sarcastically said, “Ooooh, be careful he doesn’t find out you lied to your dad; then you’ll
really be in trouble!” That led to a discussion about whether or not I’d actually lied.
On a related note, I feel obliged to point out that my brother never–and I mean absolutely, positively never–tells us when his kid is sick before we get together with them. If he’s visibly sick then they’ll tell us shortly after we get there/they get here, but if it’s not something readily observable they won’t tell us until after we’ve been with them all day–you know, after he’s been playing and wrestling with our girls, sharing snacks with them, etc. You can’t imagine how many times we’ve heard, as they’re walking out the door, “Oh, by the way, he has pink eye/diarrhea and a fever/was exposed to chicken pox/etc. We haven’t taken him to the doctor and he’s not taking anything for it, but we’re sure he’s not contagious.” We’re certainly not the only people they do this to, and if anyone even hints that it’s their fault when their own children come down with the exact same illness within a couple days of being around their kid, they’ll explode over the accusations and say there’s no way you can know that because just look at how sick your kids are all the time and their horrible hygiene!
