Teen daughter has a girlfriend

  • Thread starter Thread starter sarah_g
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
I am going to start from the beginning. First you need to explain this activity is wrong and she needs to agree that this activity is wrong. If she doesn’t agree with “what she is doing is wrong” then you need to work on that first otherwise all your other efforts are going nowhere. Once she understands the activity is wrong you can move forward. We all have our cross to bare unfortunately this is hers. For some reason God has given her this cross.

I find myself remembering or focusing on 1 Corinthians 10:13
 
sarah_g said:
I have done this at the suggestion of some on the EnCourage site. Some have suggested this to show her genuine femininity. I am not forcing any activities on her, just making suggestions. I do not make her feel bad if she doesn’t want to engage in them.

Thank you to all for the suggestions and encouragement.
Click to expand...
I don’t mean to have made it sound like you make her feel bad, I’m sorry if I came across that way. I just wondered if perhaps that’s how she could be perceiving it, especially since these suggestions have begun since you found out about her sexuality.

You sound like an incredible mother, and this must be so hard for both of you. The fact that she feels able to talk to you and trust you is testament to how good a mother you are. Make sure you have a support around you, too, someone you can lean on.
 
You are correct. I’m coming from a Christ centered prospective. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. The fruits of the Spirit.
 
Christian, but not Catholic. This is an important distinction on this forum where people come seeking “Catholic” Answers.

Protestant faiths teach many different teachings about same-sex relationships and how to deal with your kids who have them. Not all these teachings are acceptable to the Church.
 
Last edited:
Well therein lies the problem. She doesn’t think she’s doing anything wrong. I’ve tried to explain the Church’s position and God’s design for men and women. Her solution is to just not believe.
 
. . . . She is obviously in great pain, I’m simply trying to understand and help.
 
Last edited:
I see you just joined recently. May I suggest that you review the terms of service for the forum (located under FAQ) in the upper right hand corner of the screen with the three bars. Have a nice day, I’m out.
 
sarah_g said:
Every time I try to explain myself I get flustered and she starts crying. I understand she cannot help these feeling and it breaks my heart to tell her they are not what she should be feeling.
Click to expand...
Since you get flustered and you both end up too upset to talk, it seems like both of you attending sessions with a therapist (or your local priest if she and you would feel comfortable with him) together might be helpful - to help you both talk to each other with support.
 
Last edited:
Sheep4sale said:
You are correct. I’m coming from a Christ centered prospective. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. The fruits of the Spirit.
Click to expand...
Sheep4sale. I’ve logged in especially to say I’m with you. God forbid Catholics behave like Catholic saints of old. God love you. Cross the Tiber to join the remnant. That’s what we are, I’m afraid.
 
sarah_g said:
(I check my daughter’s phone because she has been suicidal in the past)
Click to expand...
I assume, because of this, that your daughter has a therapist. Perhaps it would be wise to discuss your concerns with the therapist.
 
TheLittleLady said:
Have you talked to your daughter about the naturalness of close, non-sexual, intimate friendships?

For some reason, over the past 30ish years there is an idea that all intimacy is sexual. It is so normal for girls to have the feelings of a crush on another girl, same for men, but we do not have any place to categorize those feelings so teens consider it sexual.

Right now I am failing at novels or books that describe intimate female friendships (forum, help me out!!). In Scripture the Ruth and Naomi passages show this sort of friendship as does Johnathan and David for young men. (Great novel that looks at close male friendship is “Brideshead Revisited”)

To know her feelings are not evil, not sinful, and that she MAY simply be longing for a close friend is something to toss around. Now, she may have been born homosexual. And for that case, as well as for hetrosexual teens, it is wisest to leave intense romance until you are better understanding yourself as you mature.
Click to expand...
Really good points!
 
Yes she does. I will bring up these issues. I wanted to get her depression under control first, seeing as the thoughts of self harm were more concerning to me, obviously, than the SSA.
 
Last edited:
Thank you to everyone for your advice and prayers!
 
Last edited:
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top