Teen dealing with parents divorce

  • Thread starter Thread starter bluejay1106
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
B

bluejay1106

Guest
Hi everyone,
Im pretty new to this site, so im not quite sure how it works.

It all started when I was 16, my dad got a job on the other side of the US, and had an affair with another woman. My mom was devastated and I was too, but for some weird reason I never really cried or got upset about their split. It’s been 3 years, my mom has a new boyfriend, and my dad is with another woman and her kids living 3000 miles away from us. To this day I still have not spoken to him about how I feel, but recently my emotions have been coming out and I have just been a sad person overall. I miss having him in my life and seeing him every day. And now seeing pictures that his girlfriend posts on facebook of him and her and her family going to the kids baseball games, going out to dinner, going to the beach, it just makes me so sad because I feel as though he has a new family. He coached my softball team when I was little, and he used to take me to friendly’s for pancakes sunday after church, he used to do all these things with me that hes now doing with her kids and it just doesnt seem fair to me.

Whenever I try to talk to my mom about him all she does is tell me what a terrible person he is, and i know what he did was wrong but no matter what he is my dad and I could never hate him. It just keep hurting more and more and I don’t know what to do about it. I have never spoken to him about their split, ever.

I guess im turning to this forum hoping someone has had a similar experience and made it through. I just don’t know what to do anymore… 😦
 
bluejay1106 said:
Hi everyone,
Im pretty new to this site, so im not quite sure how it works.

It all started when I was 16, my dad got a job on the other side of the US, and had an affair with another woman. My mom was devastated and I was too, but for some weird reason I never really cried or got upset about their split. It’s been 3 years, my mom has a new boyfriend, and my dad is with another woman and her kids living 3000 miles away from us. To this day I still have not spoken to him about how I feel, but recently my emotions have been coming out and I have just been a sad person overall. I miss having him in my life and seeing him every day. And now seeing pictures that his girlfriend posts on facebook of him and her and her family going to the kids baseball games, going out to dinner, going to the beach, it just makes me so sad because I feel as though he has a new family. He coached my softball team when I was little, and he used to take me to friendly’s for pancakes sunday after church, he used to do all these things with me that hes now doing with her kids and it just doesnt seem fair to me.

Whenever I try to talk to my mom about him all she does is tell me what a terrible person he is, and i know what he did was wrong but no matter what he is my dad and I could never hate him. It just keep hurting more and more and I don’t know what to do about it. I have never spoken to him about their split, ever.

I guess im turning to this forum hoping someone has had a similar experience and made it through. I just don’t know what to do anymore… 😦
Click to expand...
hi bluejay,

yes, I have experiences that before, though my situation is slightly different.

my dad had an affair when I was 12, actually it was more than one but whatever, still the same principal.

the difference is that him and my mom didn’t split up, but they’ve been fighting constantly ever since, and now I’m 24.

either way, my family is pretty much gone as well.

I think all we can do is pray, they are all on paths which are not very good for them, but we all lose our way sometimes. pray that they see their actions and try to mend them

sorry if I’m not much help, hopefully someone with better advice will comment.

god bless. I will pray for you
 
Hi Bluejay,

I feel sad for you. I think you need to talk to your dad about everything. You really should go and see him. Try and tell him how you feel. See if you can’t get him to plan a trip for just the two of you to spend some time together.

I never really had a dad, but I can imagine it must hurt a lot to lose one. Hope you two can be close again and talk things through. Make it your mission to make a change for the better.

God Bless You. 🙂
 
I can sympathize somewhat as my parents also split up though this happened long before my earliest memories. I can’t really suggest much other than to say prayer before the Blessed Sacrament is powerful.
 
Hello,

I am so very sorry for all you and all involved are going through. You have reached out. that is a big step. I can only say to attach yourself to Our Lord Jesus Christ with everything you have. I will include you in my daily Prayers. This Prayer has helped at times for me.Please, Please, trust in Our Lord Jesus Christ. Prayer, Sacraments, Mass, Eucharistic Adoration, surrounding yourseld to the best of your ability, and if needed to contact help through your Church. Again, I am so very sorry for your pain and will Pray for you daily. God Bless You.

Soul of Christ, sanctify me. Body of Christ, save me. Blood of Christ, inebriate me. Water from the side of Christ, wash me. Passion of Christ, strengthen me. O Good Jesus, hear me. Within your wounds hide me. Permit me not to be separated from you. From the wicked foe, defend me. At the hour of my death, call me and bid me come to you That with your saints I may praise you For ever and ever. Amen.
 
OP, you ought to talk to a professional family counselor. Then, you should consider talking to your dad on the phone or Skype or going to visit him to re-establish a relationship. Be there for your Mom as well. She was hurt very much by this tragedy, as you were.

In any case, don’t let this ruin your life. You have your whole life before you.
 
Welcome to CAF! 👋

I would second Paul’s recommendation of talking to a counselor. Most schools have a counselor, so you could try starting there. I would probably try that before talking to your dad, just so that you can bounce things off an impartial third party. That will help you sort through some of these feelings and get to a place where you can better articulate things when you do talk to your dad. Talking to your mom about it (as you have experienced) is likely only going to complicate your ability to sort through things because she is (very understandably) hurt and this makes it difficult for her to advise you solely in terms of your relationship with your father.

I think your feelings sound 100% normal in light of the situation. Our mom and dad are our mom and dad. It’s natural to want a relationship with them even when they mess up royally. And it’s natural to be hurt and miss him. And it definitely is not fair to you that this happened. Moms and Dads are supposed to stay together. But bad stuff happens and we do our best to deal with it.

DannyBoy gives good advice. Jesus is your rock through all of this. Never hesitate to turn to Him. He is our lifeline through all of life’s trials.

God bless you. I will pray for you and your family.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top