Teen Safe Books

[Nacho45]

So, my teen, like many others, is into fantasy style modern versions of LOTR and such. I already put the foot down on the Twilight saga, but I can’t read every single book out there before it makes it into the hands of my child. Today I saw the excitement on the face with a new book in hand. “Vampires again?” I asked. “I don’t think so.” So I turned to page 11…eleven…as in the beginning of the book and already it was talking about losing virginity and the girl being used for sex and being dumped after.

My first thoughts were asking what kind of psychopath puts this garbage in a teen book for unsuspecting teens and parents? It took a lot to remain calm. My second thoughts were wondering how many books had slipped last my inquiry and inspection. Then I began a search to see if there was a review site for these books like there is for movies. I couldn’t find anything useful.

Does anyone know if there is such a place to filter through the smut and find at least neutral books for my teen to read?

 

[Kamaduck]

If you want a semi-accurate filter, you can go to the secular site commonsensemedia.org. I’ve read several of their official reviews- overall I would say they are accurate at filtering out most sexual content, violence, and references to drugs. They won’t serve as an ideological filter. Review quality is spotty, often dependent on what the individual reviewer considers important or acceptable. If you read user reviews as well, you can get a more complete picture.

The other thing I dislike about them is that their collection is very incomplete- you can use it for popular media and some random things, but they won’t have every book. You’ll be limited to user reviews for less well-known media.

Those are really my only complaints, though. I’m sure it’s better than nothing, especially if you read the top few user reviews in addition to the official ones. Hope it helps!

 

[Cricket2]

I understand a parent’s desire to monitor what their children might read and have access too. However, all anyone has to do is go online or to the library and read what they want.

What I find strange is, that when I was a teen I never thought to “select” the kinds of books as something to read, that you describe here. And they were out there. Gory murder mysteries, playboy, etc. How is it that our young people today don’t seem to have the tenacity to make better choices in the first place?

I may be the odd kid out, but I never had much of a problem with things like peer pressure. I didn’t care about belonging, reading the latest and coolest, or fitting in. I cared about doing what was moral and correct. Somehow I think our young people today have simply lost a since of direction. Where has it gone?

 

[KendraDZ1902]

. “I don’t think so.” So I turned to page 11…eleven…as in the beginning of the book and already it was talking about losing virginity and the girl being used for sex and being dumped after.

:

I mean, during teen years girls will lose their virginity and then dumped, leaving her heartbroken. At least the author is acknowledging that. Reading something that tells you that may make your child not have sex.
Sex is talked about in school halls and lunchroom tables. Heck, boys “bump” into girls in the hallway. There were plenty of times that I have slapped the mess out of a boy for being inappropriate to me at school.

 

[Kamaduck]

I understand a parent’s desire to monitor what their children might read and have access too. However, all anyone has to do is go online or to the library and read what they want.

What I find strange is, that when I was a teen I never thought to “select” the kinds of books as something to read, that you describe here. And they were out there. Gory murder mysteries, playboy, etc. How is it that our young people today don’t seem to have the tenacity to make better choices in the first place?

I may be the odd kid out, but I never had much of a problem with things like peer pressure. I didn’t care about belonging, reading the latest and coolest, or fitting in. I cared about doing what was moral and correct. Somehow I think our young people today have simply lost a since of direction. Where has it gone?

My mom gave me 1984 when I was in seventh grade, and I loved it. It turned me on to science fiction, not the books we generally think of as objectionable. The things I ended up reading- Dune, Rendezvous with Rama, Ender’s Game, etc- contained a lot more sexual stuff than Twilight (which I’ve also read, but not because I wanted to- it was awful). But they were mostly good books that had cool ideas in them, and that’s why I read them. I think my mother was happy that I read books that would make me a better writer.

Honestly, if you want to hold a teen’s attention, my advice is to realize that books are not good just because they do not contain references to sex. I’d be more willing to let a 13-year-old read Hunger Games than Twilight, though the former contains objectively more violence and comparable discussion of romance and sex. It’s just that Hunger Games is a better series that will get teens to think. They already know about sex and violence, so we might as well discuss them intelligently.

But I do think parents should be aware of what their teens are reading, and the site I linked to is somewhat decent for that purpose. It’s also far from perfect.

 

[pensmama87]

I understand a parent’s desire to monitor what their children might read and have access too. However, all anyone has to do is go online or to the library and read what they want.

What I find strange is, that when I was a teen I never thought to “select” the kinds of books as something to read, that you describe here. And they were out there. Gory murder mysteries, playboy, etc. How is it that our young people today don’t seem to have the tenacity to make better choices in the first place?

I may be the odd kid out, but I never had much of a problem with things like peer pressure. I didn’t care about belonging, reading the latest and coolest, or fitting in. I cared about doing what was moral and correct. Somehow I think our young people today have simply lost a since of direction. Where has it gone?

A lot of this has to do with attachment. It is very, very common today for children to primarily attach to their peers instead of their parents. There’s a fascinating book about this phenomenon directed at parents: Hold Onto Your Kids.

It used to be automatic that children primarily attached to their parents - it happened intuitively and the culture was supportive of it. But parents can’t rely on that now and it makes our job a lot harder.

I do think it’s a good idea to teach your children how to select appropriate reading material, though, if they aren’t familiar with doing it themselves or don’t do a good job. Talk with them about what they are reading and the content (the characters, the plot lines - not just “Does this have bad stuff in it?”) If they’re willing to talk with you about it, chances are very good that the material isn’t objectionable.

 

[RPRPsych]

My mom gave me 1984 when I was in seventh grade, and I loved it. It turned me on to science fiction, not the books we generally think of as objectionable. The things I ended up reading- Dune, Rendezvous with Rama, Ender’s Game, etc- contained a lot more sexual stuff than Twilight (which I’ve also read, but not because I wanted to- it was awful). But they were mostly good books that had cool ideas in them, and that’s why I read them. I think my mother was happy that I read books that would make me a better writer.

True. I read a lot of stuff - at my mother’s recommendation! - that wouldn’t ordinarily be standard fare for a 12- or 13-year old: the entire corpus of Asimov’s books, “The Lord of the Flies”, “The French Lieutenant’s Woman”, and so on. I honestly didn’t pay much attention to the sex, because those were good books, masterpieces of plot / allegory / technique respectively.

Honestly, if you want to hold a teen’s attention, my advice is to realize that books are not good just because they do not contain references to sex. I’d be more willing to let a 13-year-old read Hunger Games than Twilight, though the former contains objectively more violence and comparable discussion of romance and sex. It’s just that Hunger Games is a better series that will get teens to think. They already know about sex and violence, so we might as well discuss them intelligently.

Agreed.

But I do think parents should be aware of what their teens are reading, and the site I linked to is somewhat decent for that purpose. It’s also far from perfect.

Alternative: let’s use this thread to plug our own wholesome writings! (I think there’s a swear word on page 57 of my current opus, but 1 out of 5,00,000 ain’t bad. )

 

[Kamaduck]

True. I read a lot of stuff - at my mother’s recommendation! - that wouldn’t ordinarily be standard fare for a 12- or 13-year old: the entire corpus of Asimov’s books, “The Lord of the Flies”, “The French Lieutenant’s Woman”, and so on. I honestly didn’t pay much attention to the sex, because those were good books, masterpieces of plot / allegory / technique respectively.

Part of it was that my father was an English teacher- I read through a decent bit of his collection.

When I got older I got in the habit of mixing more adult books with more innocent books and alternating between them, so I don’t get stuck reading a bunch of dark books or inane books in a row. And then there are the rare books that are both fairly free of horror and also prone to causing thought (like most of Tolkien’s works).

Alternative: let’s use this thread to plug our own wholesome writings! (I think there’s a swear word on page 57 of my current opus, but 1 out of 5,00,000 ain’t bad. )

500,000!? That’s a very long opus.

I am writing a YA novel right now, but apart from the fact that it doesn’t 100% exist yet, I’m not sure it’ll meet the OP’s standards. While I certainly don’t think there will be any graphic descriptions or anything that would bother me, it’s errs more towards darkness in places. People lie, cheat, steal, have affairs, kill people, promise revenge, condone slavery, get populations addicted to drugs, genetically engineer armies- and while none of that is shown to be good by the end, it is in there. It happens, and not everyone who does it is a villain. Since none of it’s shown in a positive light, I think I’d be fine giving it to a teenager, but it sounds like the OP may be looking for stories that don’t contain accounts of sin at all. I can’t tell stories like that- a bunch of pure saints interacting just doesn’t ring very true to me.

There’s a fine line between portraying and promoting something, and it’s not one that the larger culture is very concerned about.

 

[RPRPsych]

Part of it was that my father was an English teacher- I read through a decent bit of his collection.

When I got older I got in the habit of mixing more adult books with more innocent books and alternating between them, so I don’t get stuck reading a bunch of dark books or inane books in a row. And then there are the rare books that are both fairly free of horror and also prone to causing thought (like most of Tolkien’s works).

That’s a very good approach! (I do this myself, to avoid falling too much into one mood…)

500,000!? That’s a very long opus.

Indeed it is.

I am writing a YA novel right now, but apart from the fact that it doesn’t 100% exist yet, I’m not sure it’ll meet the OP’s standards. While I certainly don’t think there will be any graphic descriptions or anything that would bother me, it’s errs more towards darkness in places. People lie, cheat, steal, have affairs, kill people, promise revenge, condone slavery, get populations addicted to drugs, genetically engineer armies- and while none of that is shown to be good by the end, it is in there. It happens, and not everyone who does it is a villain. Since none of it’s shown in a positive light, I think I’d be fine giving it to a teenager, but it sounds like the OP may be looking for stories that don’t contain accounts of sin at all. I can’t tell stories like that- a bunch of pure saints interacting just doesn’t ring very true to me.

I don’t think we really need to do that. Off the top of my head, my own story features: political assasinations, a shadowy conspiracy, savage beasts, a schismatic religious group, war, demonic possession - and, of course, lying, cheating, banditry and domestic violence. None of these are gloried in, there’s no gruesome detail, and they’re always portrayed as objectionable. Essentially, it’s a very Catholic story. These things happen, and they’re a part of life.

There’s a fine line between portraying and promoting something, and it’s not one that the larger culture is very concerned about.

True. But there’s only so much one can do with sunshine and rainbows, especially when writing for an older audience. If the underlying philosophy and morality are sound, then I’d still say it’s not a problem, especially for teenagers or young adults. My guiding principle is: portray the negative, but don’t glamourize it or make it overpowering and overwhelming.

 

[Bezant]

With all due respect, but isn’t parental monitoring supposed to be as much about teaching critical thinking as it is protecting young ears/eyes from vulgar content?

I ask because without the former, it will be difficult for them to articulate why something is psycophathic garbage other than “because Mummy thinks so.”

Although “because Mummy thinks so” is sufficient reason for let’s say, an eight-year-old, is it really appropriate to micromanage someone a few years away from university, drinking, full-time employment? It isn’t exactly useful for real-world applications if adolescents lack the awareness required to make independent decisions.

In your case, you made a rather damning judgement call after reading a few passages, taken out of context, because they described a prevalent adolescent issue. Maybe you were in the wrong, not the author?

 

[Kamaduck]

I don’t think we really need to do that. Off the top of my head, my own story features: political assasinations, a shadowy conspiracy, savage beasts, a schismatic religious group, war, demonic possession - and, of course, lying, cheating, banditry and domestic violence. None of these are gloried in, there’s no gruesome detail, and they’re always portrayed as objectionable. Essentially, it’s a very Catholic story. These things happen, and they’re a part of life.

True. But there’s only so much one can do with sunshine and rainbows, especially when writing for an older audience. If the underlying philosophy and morality are sound, then I’d still say it’s not a problem, especially for teenagers or young adults. My guiding principle is: portray the negative, but don’t glamourize it or make it overpowering and overwhelming.

That’s how I feel, too. I don’t think it’s very easy to write about real heroism unless characters are faced with real darkness. The main idea of my story is that a group of young people rebel against the decadent, violent, and often cruel society around them, defying the destinies of their birth. They have varying degrees of success in keeping with their various methods and degrees of rebellion, but the narrative never glorifies sin. I just don’t think that the story would have the same weight without accounts of failure or near-failure, or without acknowledging the evil that the heroes defy. Hopefully, most will be stronger once they learn from their mistakes.

So I guess as it pertains to the OP, I’d say that we ought to avoid banning books (especially for teens) just because they contain accounts of sin. You’ll want to also think about whether the portrayal is positive, and whether the book is pure smut (which certainly exists) or something of literary merit (even if it isn’t 50 years old yet). It’s a difficult balance to strike, but well worth it if you want your teen to learn from the fiction they read.

I think Pensmama’s last paragraph is good advice- talking about fiction (particularly with someone who likes reading and discussing) will be a good way to monitor what kind of fiction she’s reading, and also gives you a framework to have more general talks about important concepts, be they moral, political, artistic, or what have you. Even if the book is totally average (or even bad!), intelligent discussion can make the experience worth something to both of you, and will open up doors to closely examine beliefs. It’s healthy to let teens think about why they hold the beliefs they do- and most will do it at some point anyway, with or without parental guidance.

 

[BlueEyedLady]

So, my teen, like many others, is into fantasy style modern versions of LOTR and such. I already put the foot down on the Twilight saga, but I can’t read every single book out there before it makes it into the hands of my child. Today I saw the excitement on the face with a new book in hand. “Vampires again?” I asked. “I don’t think so.” So I turned to page 11…eleven…as in the beginning of the book and already it was talking about losing virginity and the girl being used for sex and being dumped after.

My first thoughts were asking what kind of psychopath puts this garbage in a teen book for unsuspecting teens and parents? It took a lot to remain calm. My second thoughts were wondering how many books had slipped last my inquiry and inspection. Then I began a search to see if there was a review site for these books like there is for movies. I couldn’t find anything useful.

Does anyone know if there is such a place to filter through the smut and find at least neutral books for my teen to read?

Are you against vampires in general?

I have some problems with the Twilight series. Big problems. But it isn’t smut. I’ll grant it that. Edward refuses to have premarital sex, and the only sex scene occurs in the last book, after their wedding, and it is not graphic at all.

As for the book you picked up that mentioned a girl losing her virginity and getting dumped, that doesn’t sound like a sex scene, it sounds like the character mentioned it in conversation or as part of the internal monologue background.

If you’re talking about a teenager, you might want to loosen up the restrictions. Almost any book is going to mention that a character has had sex. The important thing is the message behind the book. Is it encouraging sexual promiscuity as a positive life choice? If not, it might be worth reconsidering it.

 

[Nacho45]

If you want a semi-accurate filter, you can go to the secular site commonsensemedia.org. I’ve read several of their official reviews- overall I would say they are accurate at filtering out most sexual content, violence, and references to drugs. They won’t serve as an ideological filter. Review quality is spotty, often dependent on what the individual reviewer considers important or acceptable. If you read user reviews as well, you can get a more complete picture.

The other thing I dislike about them is that their collection is very incomplete- you can use it for popular media and some random things, but they won’t have every book. You’ll be limited to user reviews for less well-known media.

Those are really my only complaints, though. I’m sure it’s better than nothing, especially if you read the top few user reviews in addition to the official ones. Hope it helps!

Thank you! I will look into this website.

Regarding other posts…I didn’t mean to inquire into anyone’s personal opinions of parenting or child psychology. I was simply interested in whether anyone knew of a resource which would help facilitate my needs as a parent in this specific area. I elaborated in my original post to assist in your analysis of my search. I do appreciate the thoughts; however, they seem to have run off the tracks in relation to my inquiry.

If anyone knows of another resource and is willing to share that information, it would help tremendously! Thank you!

 

[Cricket2]

A lot of this has to do with attachment. It is very, very common today for children to primarily attach to their peers instead of their parents. There’s a fascinating book about this phenomenon directed at parents: Hold Onto Your Kids.

It used to be automatic that children primarily attached to their parents - it happened intuitively and the culture was supportive of it. But parents can’t rely on that now and it makes our job a lot harder.

I do think it’s a good idea to teach your children how to select appropriate reading material, though, if they aren’t familiar with doing it themselves or don’t do a good job. Talk with them about what they are reading and the content (the characters, the plot lines - not just “Does this have bad stuff in it?”) If they’re willing to talk with you about it, chances are very good that the material isn’t objectionable.

I may check into this book. It is a disturbing trend and I think there must be a lot of contributing factors ranging from how our educational system presents things, the media and movies and even the laws. Something of this sort happened in Russia many, many years ago, and things even reached a point that children had the right to divorce their parents. Needless to say it all but destroyed the nation. Needless to say, there is plenty of good reason that parents should be primary in their children’s lives. It is a sad thing when they are not.

 

[Kamaduck]

I may check into this book. It is a disturbing trend and I think there must be a lot of contributing factors ranging from how our educational system presents things, the media and movies and even the laws. Something of this sort happened in Russia many, many years ago, and things even reached a point that children had the right to divorce their parents. Needless to say it all but destroyed the nation. Needless to say, there is plenty of good reason that parents should be primary in their children’s lives. It is a sad thing when they are not.

Teens are attached to other teens because they are required by law to spend seven or more hours a day with them. Is it really surprising that peers exert a lot of influence?

 

[RPRPsych]

Thank you! I will look into this website.

Regarding other posts…I didn’t mean to inquire into anyone’s personal opinions of parenting or child psychology. I was simply interested in whether anyone knew of a resource which would help facilitate my needs as a parent in this specific area. I elaborated in my original post to assist in your analysis of my search. I do appreciate the thoughts; however, they seem to have run off the tracks in relation to my inquiry.

If anyone knows of another resource and is willing to share that information, it would help tremendously! Thank you!

There’s also this site:

thrivingfamily.com/family/media/book-review-archives.aspx

It seems to be run by Focus on the Family, which is a conservative-to-moderate Evangelical group, so I guess they should be fairly sound. Not sure about the theology though. What I’ve skimmed so far seems useful enough.

(And where, oh where, is the USCCB at a time like this? They have useful movie reviews, can’t they do the same for books?)

 

[Pauline_Veron]

If you are looking for some excellent Catholic teen reading, I highly recommend the novels by the author Susan Peek. She has written three books so far in her series called “God’s Forgotten Friends: Lives of Little-known Saints” and they are especially geared for young adults. All very fast-paced, exciting, with plenty of action, and written in a casual style that teens really get into. The titles are:

“Saint Magnus The Last Viking” (Catholic Vitality Publications) This is her newest and it is FANTASTIC!!! I stayed up all night with it! Talk about giving your teenager a hero! Enough action and blood to keep any teenage boy reading (girls too; my 19 year old daughter read it in one day and was so absorbed we didn’t see her once) and yet it is highly inspiring as well. By the end, the reader will love Saint Magnus. Great fun!!

“A Soldier Surrenders” (Ignatius Press). Fast-moving, rollicking story of Saint Camillus’s conversion. At first he was a rough and ready mercenary soldier, addicted to gambling, drinking, etc. – the most unlikely candidate for sanctity. The story of how he eventually “surrendered” to the grace of God, became a priest, a religious founder, and a saint, is truly captivating. This one leaves the message that if HE could do it, so can we. I think teens would love this one because it makes a saint seem human!!!

“Crusader King” (TAN Books), is about King Baldwin IV of Jerusalem, who ascended the throne at 13 years old, caught leprosy, and is really one of the unsung heroes of the crusades. Again, a very entertaining and inspiring book.

I hope Susan Peek writes more. Our teens need this type of stuff! Hope this helps.