Teen with major behavior issues

[4Families]

A google search turned up the following article (see here):
Mother seeks refund of $36,000 spent to get son a diploma from Clark program

Marines reject candidate schooled at Wyo youth ranch

CODY – A woman who spent thousands of dollars to put her son through a Park County program for troubled boys is seeking a refund after learning that the correspondence school diploma he earned there does not meet U.S. Marine Corps admission standards.

Dawn Cooper of Birmingham, Ala., took out a loan and cashed in an annuity she had set aside for retirement. She used the money to pay $36,000 for her son to attend the Mount Carmel Youth Ranch in Clark and a related program for adults, Bear Tooth MT Ascent. Both programs share staff and facilities on a 40,000-acre cattle ranch.

…

I saw that. My first four were homeschooled through high school. I knew that, since we didn’t use an accredited program, we would either have to get the school district to vouch at least for his valid enrollment in homeschooling (they didn’t have to, and they didn’t) or he would have to take the GED. This was because he wanted to go to a state school after high school. The private colleges my other children attended did not require a GED. It was not really a problem, as far as I was concerned. He does not have to include the GED on job applications, etc., but if anyone wants it, he has it. I don’t personally see it as a tragedy for this woman’s son - he wanted to get into the military, and he has. I don’t see what financial loss has been suffered, other than an apparently short delay in plans and the cost of the GED exam. But I hope the ranch has learned its lesson and explains the situation very clearly to future parents, including having them sign something saying that this has all been clearly explained to them. This would be very important for parents who had never previously been involved in homeschooling/correspondence programs and wouldn’t know the in’s and out’s of the process. An accredited option is offered at the ranch, from what I read.

 

[CatholicCB]

Have you tried making him join a JROTC Program or the Young Marines. Though my situation was never perfect four years of Army JROTC made hints a bit better and kept them being worse. I taught for a few months for the Young Marines after I graduated. If his school does nit have JROTC there are other Cadet based options. There are:

Young Marines Cadet Program
Naval Sea Cadets
The Civil Air Patrol

All really good disciplined programs. They get costly, unless it’s apart his HS JROTC Program. They are not Catholic based programs but they believe in each Cadet staying true to their faiths and encourage them to practice them.

 

[4Families]

Have you tried making him join a JROTC Program or the Young Marines. Though my situation was never perfect four years of Army JROTC made hints a bit better and kept them being worse. I taught for a few months for the Young Marines after I graduated. If his school does nit have JROTC there are other Cadet based options. There are:

Young Marines Cadet Program
Naval Sea Cadets
The Civil Air Patrol

All really good disciplined programs. They get costly, unless it’s apart his HS JROTC Program. They are not Catholic based programs but they believe in each Cadet staying true to their faiths and encourage them to practice them.

I actually had been thinking of air cadets as a good way to spend his time. We also have been looking into military academies. I have a call in to a priest to hopefully get together will my son, ex-husband and me over the next few days. We need to decide what we are doing.

 

[Serap]

Hi,

I posted a while ago asking if anyone knew of a Catholic therapy program, a wilderness training type of program, for a teen who needs such a thing. Someone suggested looking into Boys Town which I did but it does not seem to be what we need. We looked into a program in our state and were about to use it when we learned some things that definitely changed our mind. We have looked into many other things and it is very difficult to evaluate these programs. They are expensive and fairly unregulated and it is so hard to tell if they work or are worth the time and money.

There must be parents on this forum who have dealt with the issues we have with our son - drinking, drugs, sex, seriously defiant behavior - all from a 15 year old. He needs to get out of this town, to get away from the awful “friends” that he has. If I could keep him home and keep him away from them, I definitely would prefer that, but if I have to send him away to a GOOD program, for his sake I certainly would do that. His father and I are divorced but his father is willing to go into debt if a program would work for our son.

If anyone has successfully dealt with this behavior in their child, I would appreciate knowing what worked for you.

My brother acted out exactly the same way at ag 15. It was shortly after my parents divorced also.

If it’s any comfort, my brother is now 40 and a great guy. He went to college at age 30 and finished an electrical technician program. He’s married and well.

He also found out as an adult that he has ADHD.

 

[4Families]

Serap, what did your parents do for him? Did they just wait it out? That has been suggested, to just not make a big deal out of his behavior, but we know two parents who have done that and the kids have gotten worse - stealing from the parents, continuing to live exactly as they please with no consequences. Maybe he wouldn’t get worse if we just ignored the behavior but based on those two kids we are thinking that that is not a good choice.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

Serap, what did your parents do for him? Did they just wait it out? That has been suggested, to just not make a big deal out of his behavior, but we know two parents who have done that and the kids have gotten worse - stealing from the parents, continuing to live exactly as they please with no consequences. Maybe he wouldn’t get worse if we just ignored the behavior but based on those two kids we are thinking that that is not a good choice.

I cannot imagine for one second that ignoring our son would have led to anything good. If your son is drinking and using drugs, you cannot afford to simply ignore that - there could be life-changing consequences. To say nothing of having sex…

I do not see how a concerned parent can just turn that off…and look the other way. What message does that send to the kid? “You aren’t really worth fighting for?” “I say one thing, but when push comes to shove, I give up?” I mean, all the possible interpretations are bad! If you have been living your faith out in the open, and suddenly you just throw up your hands and give up on your kid, that says that you really are either a creampuff or a hypocrite.

I told my son that I will never, ever lower my standards for his moral behavior. Never. I am not going to be the one who hands him condoms, just in case. The people who do, don’t have his eternal future in mind. I do. I never compromised. I kept my message on point right through his rebellion. Because in the end, it is not even MY standards - they are GOD’S standards. I am just the transmitter, if I stand strong.

Do you want information about Outward Bound and the program we used? PM me if you do.