Teenage Mothers

[Island_Oak]

Mandi:

We need to live our life in accordance with God. “What if’s” should not be a factor in how we make decisions. For too long now women have been concerning themselves with career and education while the most important vocation that God has intended for them has been left unanswered “Motherhood”.

The MOST Important Vocation in the World is being neglected!

Women do not concern yourself with “what if’s”. Do you have so little faith that you do not believe that God will always look after you, that His Will is what needs to be done. Do not live for this world, but for the next. Of course God will give you struggles and hardships, maybe God will leave you with many children and no support but He will never leave you. Your life will have been a success when you can say “I made little Saints for God” not for what degree you hold or how much money you made to give your children “material” goods.

Education and career choice is NOT what concerns God! It is the souls of little children that you will be held accountable for.

That hand that rocks the cradle rules the world!

What happens when no one is rocking the cradle?

Apparently millions of women and children living in poverty in this, the wealthiest society on earth, have already taken your advice to heart. You are either leaving a vital part of your advice unsaid or are seriously misguided. For women to entertain the notion of marriage and procreation, without FIRST responsibly preparing themselves (by completing an education and assuring their ability to self-support) and determining that their chosen spouse is willing and able to help provide for their and their children’s necessities, is irresponsible, selfish and immoral.

God gives us the ablities, talents AND judgment to provide for ourselves (men and women alike.) It is up to each of us to employ those talents, not to sit on the sidelines, stick our heads in the sand and our hands in the air and say “God will provide…’ That does not mean God isn’t part of the equasion. It’s no different than taking a trip–what reasonable mother would load her kids in the car and head into a snowstorm with no coats, gas in the tank or food and assume 'God will provide?” You plan, save, prepare, maybe even post-pone for serious reason, and THEN undertake the journey.

I also don’t mean to suggest that a marital agreement whereby one partner works in the marketplace and one stays home to raise children is outdated. Quite to the contrary–it is an ideal arrangement–BUT one that requires planning, maturity, education/job skills, communication, an ability to budget and the willingness of two people to cooperate in completing these duties.

Failure to approach the decision to bring children into the world with the necessary patience, discipline, self-control, financial stability and emotional maturity wreaks havoc on the children involved, and burdens the extended family, the neighborhood and parish and eventually society.

I make no comment about the young couple that prompted the original post. Who can judge the factors I list here based on age alone? As others have noted, there are 35 year olds with less maturity than 19-20 year olds. And we all know of high school sweethearts who married in their teens, raised a family and stayed together for a lifetime. But ignoring the process of maturing in all its aspects in favor of considering only physical procreative abilty ignores the complexity of the society in which we live today and the demands placed on young families. God does provide for us, men and women, by giving us the talents to meet the challenges of raising a family. It is when we don’t develop these talents, run headlong into marriage and baby making and then look around and wonder where God’s help is that must make Him do back flips in utter frustration.

 

[KDoerr]

misericordie:

No ONE should get married BEFORE age 25. Even science has noted that the brain of humans does not fully mature emotionally until age 25.

I do not agree with this. I was a parent at 17 and a very good one. My son turned out to be a very responsible loving individual. If you follow science, there is no God.

 

[Tlaloc]

KDoerr:

I do not agree with this. I was a parent at 17 and a very good one. My son turned out to be a very responsible loving individual. If you follow science, there is no God.

Science never tries to answer the question of whether there is or is not a God. That’s outside of its’ realm of speculation.

The only time you run into problems is when you believe that God made things happen in a certain way and then science shows it wasn’t in fact like that at all. That’s not disproving God.

 

[Sweetcakes]

There’s a good reason why we refer to people under the age of 18 as “children”.

 

[caroljm36]

It’s totally what I did not do myself, but that doesn’t mean much IMO. I think now that marrying early and having the kids early is probably the more desirable route. You’re closer in age to your kids and have more energy. There are plenty of women who did this then later went back to school and got nursing or teaching degrees–yeah, old-school and I used to look down my nose at it, but these women are doing very well now thank you and have grandchildren too.

People used to marry young all the time, but back then, ideally the guy had his foot in the door on a good job, with his family’s business, or with the govt, or in building trades or other good-paying union jobs. There are still jobs like that if you’re willing to learn a skill like carpentry or auto mechanics etc. But you can’t marry and have kids young if you want to get a liberal arts degree, sit around coffee houses and philosophize and wait another 20 years to decide what you want to do when you grow up (as I did).

 

[rayne89]

misericordie:

No ONE should get married BEFORE age 25. Even science has noted that the brain of humans does not fully mature emotionally until age 25.

Emotional maturity has very little to do with science and very much to do with life experience. Many cultures marry much younger than our society generally does. I know people who are in their 40’s and yet to become emotionally mature. And then there are teens who just blow your mind with their maturity and responsiblity.
“No ONE should get married BEFORE age 25.” I completely disagree with generalization.

By the way we have no problem sending these “emotionally immature” people to fight and die for our freedom. If your old enough to die for your country your old enough to marry the one you love.

 

[goravens]

misericordie:

No ONE should get married BEFORE age 25. Even science has noted that the brain of humans does not fully mature emotionally until age 25.

I completely disagree with this quote. It’s an unfair generalization and as was noted before, emotional maturity varies widely and is not based on age. Research in the area of brain maturation is very new and shouldn’t be used to discourage marriage simply because the brain isn’t completely developed. Besides that, this statement is inaccurate. The majority (90%) of a human’s brain develops before the age of 5. A human’s brain continues developing at a much smaller rate until it finally finishes around age 30 - it differs from person to person.

If you need examples of younger couples who are mature enough for marriage and have marriages centered on Christ, visit an orthodox Catholic college campus. We graduated with eight couples who were married shortly after our college graduation and these are strong, genuinely Catholic marriages. They are and will be an agent of change in our culture.

 

[Patrick2340]

misericordie:

No ONE should get married BEFORE age 25. Even science has noted that the brain of humans does not fully mature emotionally until age 25.

This statement is ridiculous. By this standard no one should be allowed into the religious life before the age of 25. Consequently, St. Therese of Lisieux would have died before she ever entered the Carmel. Some people at 18 are much more mature than others at 35.