Teenager searching for religion and in need of guidance

[Kathlec]

Hello! First of all, I am sorry if this is not in the right forum. I have a lot of questions and stressful things to ask of you great people. This is my first post, but I have been reading answers and threads on here for a while now. I have a whole lot to say and ask…

I am 17 years old. My family was all Catholic. I was baptized Catholic and until I was about 8 years old, I went to church every Sunday. My parents gradually stopped taking us and I lost touch with the Catholic faith.

Here is my problem: I feel that my parents mainly went to church out of habit… I never got the ‘message.’ I didn’t understand what any of what I was saying MEANT, and I was very young, and so I did not have a good foundation for continuing my faith. Most of the people I met and the pop culture I saw pushed me away from the traditional church beliefs.

But, I am older now. I have met some amazing Catholics, and have realized some of the things I love best about them are as a result of their faith. I have seen how some of the worst mistakes I have made could have been avoided if I had kept up with the religion. I see the faith and relationship they have with God and I want that so much.

But the truth is, I am very afraid. The first thing is that it all seems so overwhelming; there seem to be so many things that I should and should not do. And, I don’t even know how to go about learning. I feel so behind, and I don’t even know where to start. I feel like every day is a worse sin because I acknowledge I want to be Catholic but don’t know how and continue not to do what I should. I have been praying before I sleep and started reading the Bible, but I am certain that is not enough.

I also worry about the expectations. With the sheer amount of things that are sins, I feel that I am bound to fail. I worry that I do not have the chance to make it to Heaven when I consider how flawed I am. I am scared to find out all of the rules, because I know I will find that I do not live up to them all.

There are some issues and things I am having a hard time believing in. Here are the ones that tear at me the most:
I accept gay marriage and abortion are against Catholic teachings. I know I will not partake in either. But I don’t feel others, who are not Catholic, should be obligated to follow my beliefs. And I also realize I have been so blessed not to be in a position where I should consider either one of those things, and others have not been so blessed. So I feel awful about supporting legal measures to prohibit the actions of people whose lives I do not understand at all.

Why can’t women become priests and eventually the Pope? I know it is a matter of tradition, and it was in the Bible. But it seems many things have evolved with time- including the treatment of women- should have changed this… I cannot find any real justification for why women would not make good priests or Popes. I feel like this indicates women are inferior… And that saddens me and pushes me away. I know it could be said men and women have ‘different spheres,’ but why would men be better for this particular role?

Is ‘making out’ a sin? My boyfriend and I are in no way considering sex before marriage or anything under the clothing or involving genitalia. But, it is a very long distance relationship. When I see him, I desperately want to be close to him. Is heated kissing a sin? I feel this is one area I am doomed to fail in. Which begs the question: How could I ever claim to be Catholic if I continuously repeated the same sin?

And here is the kicker:
I have read that thoughts can be sinful. So if I can eventually accept: “This is God’s will. I will verbally accept and do everything that he says, regardless of whether I agree,” am I still sinning? I love God. And I certainly fear God. But I don’t know how to actually change my opinion or my thoughts. What I’m wondering is: Is it okay to think differently as long as you accept that God must be right? I am ultimately afraid that I will not be able to change my mind about some things, and I do not want to be a ‘Cafeteria Catholic’ that picks and chooses. I just feel lost and afraid right now.

This stuff keeps me up at night and I feel very anxious. Please help.

 

[IesuMariaIoseph]

Here is what Jesus Christ wants of you. He wants you. How do we give ourselves to him?
We die to ourselves.

What?!? Yes he wants you to die to your passions and yourself and to be like his Blessed Mother wanting to do only his will. Die to yourself so that Christ can be born in you. Become an imitation of Christ. Be his hands, legs, eyes, ears, and mouth. He wants you to give him your heart so that the Holy Spirit which dwells in us all can shine forth in you. Die to yourself and be reborn in him and him in you.

You can kiss your boyfriend and nothing else. That is his will. You can will differently and fall into sin. But that is your choice.

The reason that it is a choice is that your “relationship” with God is just a “relationship”. It is a relationship based on love. Jesus loves you so much then you will ever understand. He wants you to choose to do his will. The reason for that is his love for you. Love does not force it invites. So take up his invitation try to make yourself more like more pure like Mary.

Like any relationship it will take work but it is so worth the effort.

If you have other questions please ask

May the love of the Lord be your strength and his Mother’s mantle thy protection

 

[roseproject]

But the truth is, I am very afraid. The first thing is that it all seems so overwhelming; there seem to be so many things that I should and should not do. And, I don’t even know how to go about learning. I feel so behind, and I don’t even know where to start. I feel like every day is a worse sin because I acknowledge I want to be Catholic but don’t know how and continue not to do what I should. I have been praying before I sleep and started reading the Bible, but I am certain that is not enough.

I would suggest spending some time in Adoration. Just spend some quiet time alone with Him. Talk to Him as close friends talk to one another. Or just be silent before Him. He understands your situation. He knows you desire to return to the Church. He wont condemn you.

I also worry about the expectations. With the sheer amount of things that are sins, I feel that I am bound to fail. I worry that I do not have the chance to make it to Heaven when I consider how flawed I am. I am scared to find out all of the rules, because I know I will find that I do not live up to them all.

Everyone will fall short. God knows we often fall for temptations. He knows we’re flawed. Look at Saint Paul: He was a mess before God intervened.
Perhaps you shouldn’t worry simply about “all of the rules”. Do everything out of love for Christ, because what all the rules are are ways to guide people how to love Him and respect Him, others, and yourself.
‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind’. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’

Why can’t women become priests and eventually the Pope? I know it is a matter of tradition, and it was in the Bible. But it seems many things have evolved with time- including the treatment of women- should have changed this… I cannot find any real justification for why women would not make good priests or Popes. I feel like this indicates women are inferior… And that saddens me and pushes me away. I know it could be said men and women have ‘different spheres,’ but why would men be better for this particular role?

The easiest way to put it is it’s comparable to a man wanting to become a nun Excluding women from becoming a priest doesn’t make them inferior at all. The Virgin Mary is living proof of this! Her “yes”, in essence, started the Church!

Is ‘making out’ a sin? My boyfriend and I are in no way considering sex before marriage or anything under the clothing or involving genitalia. But, it is a very long distance relationship. When I see him, I desperately want to be close to him. Is heated kissing a sin? I feel this is one area I am doomed to fail in. Which begs the question: How could I ever claim to be Catholic if I continuously repeated the same sin?

Kissing is not a sin. A true act of affection does not exist to take. If you treat the other person respectfully as one created in God’s image, then your good
Trust in God’s mercy. If you fall, get back up. Take advantage of the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Going often will help further your relationship with Christ.

And here is the kicker:
I have read that thoughts can be sinful. So if I can eventually accept: “This is God’s will. I will verbally accept and do everything that he says, regardless of whether I agree,” am I still sinning? I love God. And I certainly fear God. But I don’t know how to actually change my opinion or my thoughts. What I’m wondering is: Is it okay to think differently as long as you accept that God must be right? I am ultimately afraid that I will not be able to change my mind about some things, and I do not want to be a ‘Cafeteria Catholic’ that picks and chooses. I just feel lost and afraid right now.

As IesuMarialoseph said, give God you’re whole heart. Give Him your understanding, your burdens, your joys, everything. Give Him your whole heart so He can shape it like His, so that everything you do, say, your dreams, will be done out of love and for His love.

“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”

I hope this helps

God bless.

 

[onjac]

I feel I can relate to your situation somewhat. I’m only a few years older than you. I was always drawn to Catholicism but I never made a serious effort to become Catholic until a year ago. I never had a conflict with any of the beliefs but I had some trouble with certain habits which are mostly of a sexual nature (it doesn’t help that I read a lot of books and watch a wide range of films). I also don’t like the imposing my beliefs on people.

But I decided that I should make a decision and not be lukewarm about something that’s important to me, especially if I profess to love Christ. That’s when I decided to become Catholic no matter how long the RCIA program takes.

The thing is, being Catholic is about allowing God to mold your life and being fully open to His Love. As tough as it is to become Catholic ( especially when it comes to marriage, children and people you could care less about), that’s what it boils down to.

I still struggle with my old habits and I do have a lot to learn but God knows us completely and so as long as we genuinely seek help, He will help.

As for imposing beliefs on others… Voting for someone who is for or against abortion or gay marriage… I feel that it is important to get involved in politics because I think there are unknown consequences of permitting certain things such as abortion. It’s like a domino effect. I think that because a ‘gray area’ begins to widen, you might allow for some genuinely twisted person to use abortion as an excuse to permit another sort of evil into the world somewhere down the road. This will be more apparent in countries where people don’t get to exercise their rights.

I sympathize with women who are raped and/or can’t support children. But when I think of women in China being forced to have abort even though she has went through the trouble of paying a huge fee and chose to keep her second child… I feel sick.

This sort of thing, to me, is not the same as imposing my beliefs ( which would involving threatening someone to adopt a Catholic lifestyle by force or depriving that person of their needs and wants).

As for women not being allowed to act as priests, apologists can explain but… Only God can give us an answer for why things are they are (which we may never know until after death). I admit, though, that it’s not a question that keeps me up late at night. As a women, I can care less.

There’s a lot to learn but don’t be overwhelmed. I read Salt of the Earth which is an interview between Peter Seewald and Pope Benedict XVI and although I’ve read many other books +including the ones in the series), that book practically helped me made my mind.

I recommend doing some more studying but ultimately, you should do what you feel is true.

Hope this helps!

 

[onjac]

Just to add on… A priesthood is a special duty but also a great spiritual burden. I look at Mary and although she doesn’t speak much in the Bible, it’s obvious that she’s humble but has quite a lot of backbone. Women have their own role and are certainly not inferior. Their importance is just not loud and obvious (most of the time that is).

Basically it’s more important to care what God judges you as a person than what society may think of you as a women.

Sexuality is an important part of the human identity but a person is much more than that.

 

[LittleScoty]

ewtn.com/expert/answers/priesthood_men.htm

Here is a great article I found for you regarding women and priesthood in the Catholic Faith. It should answer your questions on that subject.

 

[Robyn_p]

Hi!!

You’ve already gotten some great answers here, I just wanted to add a few words of encouragement.

I’m not much older than you, 19 now, but I was 17 when everything really started changing for me. Though I’ve never actually physically left the Church, I feel more home now then I ever have. Once I started learning what I believed and what the Church teaches, all of a sudden, I was free. I know what I am here for and what love really is now! Catholicism really is so awesome!!!
I know it can be overwhelming but once you really dig in I guarantee the feelings of fear you have now will be replaced with an amazing peace and love. God loves you so much He died for you, and not only that but He wants to give himself to you in the most amazing way in the Holy Eucharist, which really is Him. It’s that love that fuels everything the Church does and teaches, especially when it comes to chastity. Once that truth finally sunk in for me all the rules suddenly ceased being an obstacle and more of an opportunity.

You mentioned you don’t think you can follow all the rules. Well, first of all, welcome to the club!!! Nobody can, apart from God’s grace, keep all his statutes. But you know what? He gave us an awesome sacrament called Confession, where we come to him through the priest when we mess up (which everybody does), and tell him all our sins, and when the priest says the words of absolution, that’s it. You’re absolved! You’re in God’s friendship again. It’s such a relief to hear those words, trust me.

Anyway, I realized I kinda rambled on here, but it’s just so exciting to be Catholic my friend. I encourage you, God is calling you home to Him, follow him. He wants to give you so much, and all the sacrifices are sooooo worth it! God Bless, I’ll be praying for you.

P.S.
If you want a book recommendation, the one that really started it all for me was Rome Sweet Home by Scott Hahn. Stories are easier to relate to, and that one is really good. He’s coming from a Protestant perspective, but I think it might help resolve some of the issues you still have. And even if it doesn’t answer all of them, it definitely will open you’re eyes to see the Church in a whole new light. At least it did for me.

 

[FullOfThought]

This stuff keeps me up at night and I feel very anxious. Please help.

This post made me smile so much, it’s like reading something I would have posted 5years ago! I’m 26 and when I was in college I had the exact same concerns and questions you did, so I’ll explain how I worked through my differences.

1. Join RCIA. Even if you’ve had confirmation and everything already! The amount I learned by doing this was huge. I found a priest who I could actually have educational arguements with, and it was a huge learning experience for me!
2. I have been praying before I sleep and started reading the Bible, but I am certain that is not enough- Let’s be realistic, there’s never enough we can do! Our Lord deserves constant honor and praise but unless you decide to live a Holy Life and join a religious order there’s not enough time for us to worship. I believe that by acting in certain ways, choosing our actions and words is a way of loving God and letting our faith be a light burning so brightly that others are drawn to Christ. I think that’s a normal persons way of worshipping while we’re too ‘busy’ to pray.
3. I* worry that I do not have the chance to make it to Heaven when I consider how flawed I am. *This too is beautiful. I once heard a pastor say that he believed that anybody who thought the could get in to Heaven probably won’t because Our Lord is so AMAZING that there’s no way any single person deserves to be with HIM, and if a person thinks they do then they’re prideful, and as pride is a sin then probably won’t. Just food for thought I think! By you admitting your failures and knowing none of us are good enough to spend a single second with God just shows how much you think of HIM, how much you believe!
4. *Gay marriage *- This was also a difficult one for me but I am so firm in my belief now for a longgg reason… I hope this makes sense. So, I believe that when a man and women marry they should give themselves to each other completely without the use of contraception. (My husband says for people who use contrcaeption it’s like “Yes, I love you and give myself to you by making love, but not all of me… you can’t have my fertility”) and for us this is a huge big deal. I never want to keep any of myself from my husband and this led us to fully believe that every single act of sex should be open to the possibilty of life.
   HOWEVER, I had such an issue with this initially… my arguement was “Some heterosexual couples are open to life but unable to get pregnant, does that make them less holy/in love/etc”. I had an amazing Priest say to me… “A person born deaf has ears, those ears were meant to hear, even if they don’t work there purpose is unchanged. A woman has a womb, that womb was meant to carry a child, even if she is unable to carry a pregnancy the purpose of her womb is unchanged.” This just made so muc sense to me!!
   So back to homosexual marriage… because of my beliefs in fertility and intercourse I believe sex should only occur after marriage, and that the purpose of marriage and sex is to be open to life… and therefore to people who are anatomically the same will never be able to have what I consider a marriage.
   This isn’t to say that I am not saddened by my choice to say I disagree with homosexual marriage, but it’s a firm enough belief that I am now comfortable enough to share.
5. Abortion - I was pro choice, knowing that I would never do it but believing in others rights to do so… until by bestfriend had one 2 years ago by choice… no pressures, just a simple choice. It ruined her life. Religion aside it’s the worst idea ever and I have no issue now standing up for this. I would rather offend people then let an innocent baby die AND a woman to live with what my friend is. Until people experience it they can’t imagine the damage.
6. Women as Pope/Priest- I don’t think it’s tradition that women can’t. Jesus broke every social norm by talking with tax collectors/sex workers/lepers, he had picked the disciples, all of which were men. I believe that if he wanted women to be leaders of the Church he would have said this. I believe men should be the leaders of the Church and of the family, at 8 months pregnant I am so dependant on my husbands love, attention and care right now… I believe this is the way humanity was made. This is not to say I won’t be an extremely sucessful physican once I graduate med school or any reflection on the abilities of a woman. It’s a role God gave us because of our abiliy to reproduce.
7. Making out - Yes and no. I believe the danger is letting your boyfriend see you as a sexual object due to lust, as well as pushing the boundaries further and further each time. I think we only know in our hearts how far we should go.
8. Is it okay to think differently as long as you accept that God must be right? - YES!!! Do you know how many people believe their faith blindly and not question anything!? You are on an incredible journey where you are taking the time to reflect on others feelings, your life, the Church teachings! You are tackling your faith head on and working out what you truely believe!! You should enjoy every step of this journey… and you’ll come out of it so refreshed and I hope as in love with the Church as I did!!

 

[JRKH]

Hello! First of all, I am sorry if this is not in the right forum. I have a lot of questions and stressful things to ask of you great people. This is my first post, but I have been reading answers and threads on here for a while now. I have a whole lot to say and ask…

Welcome…
No need to apologize…This forum will do…Bring on the questions.

I am 17 years old. My family was all Catholic. I was baptized Catholic and until I was about 8 years old, I went to church every Sunday. My parents gradually stopped taking us and I lost touch with the Catholic faith.

Here is my problem: I feel that my parents mainly went to church out of habit… I never got the ‘message.’ I didn’t understand what any of what I was saying MEANT, and I was very young, and so I did not have a good foundation for continuing my faith. Most of the people I met and the pop culture I saw pushed me away from the traditional church beliefs.

But, I am older now. I have met some amazing Catholics, and have realized some of the things I love best about them are as a result of their faith. I have seen how some of the worst mistakes I have made could have been avoided if I had kept up with the religion. I see the faith and relationship they have with God and I want that so much.

This is not uncommon at all. But God planed a seed in you at Baptism and it was watered at the mass even if you didn’t know what was going on…You are now feeling that seed sprout and grow. So do not be afraid.

But the truth is, I am very afraid. The first thing is that it all seems so overwhelming; there seem to be so many things that I should and should not do. And, I don’t even know how to go about learning. I feel so behind, and I don’t even know where to start. I feel like every day is a worse sin because I acknowledge I want to be Catholic but don’t know how and continue not to do what I should. I have been praying before I sleep and started reading the Bible, but I am certain that is not enough.

My dear child - you already ARE Catholic by virtue of your baptism so you are already in a very good place.
I know what you mean about it feeling overwhelming. Even though I was raised in a devout family and attended weekly mass up until I was 18, I too missed a lot - it seemed overwhelming and - well - I left for 3 years…Now that I’m back it STILL feels overwhelming sometimes, but in a good way. I’m sure that you will find this to be true also.
If I may ask…did you make your first confession and first communion?

I also worry about the expectations. With the sheer amount of things that are sins, I feel that I am bound to fail. I worry that I do not have the chance to make it to Heaven when I consider how flawed I am. I am scared to find out all of the rules, because I know I will find that I do not live up to them all.

This is not an uncommon problem for people returning to the Church, but in truth All of these rules and expectations can be reduced to something very simple.
You mentioned above that you are reading the Bible. I want you to look at three passages and ponder them in prayer.

1. 1 John 4:7-8
2. Mt 22:36-40
3. 1 Corinthians 13:1-13
   In these you will find that everything we do and everything we are and everything we desire is built on Love, Agape in the Greek - Brotherly love…not on legalities. Of course there is much more to learn about these things and many more references I could offer but I hope that these will help to calm your fears and that they will give you - as they have me - a good base from which to build.

There are some issues and things I am having a hard time believing in. Here are the ones that tear at me the most:
I accept gay marriage and abortion are against Catholic teachings. I know I will not partake in either. But I don’t feel others, who are not Catholic, should be obligated to follow my beliefs. And I also realize I have been so blessed not to be in a position where I should consider either one of those things, and others have not been so blessed. So I feel awful about supporting legal measures to prohibit the actions of people whose lives I do not understand at all.

In matters of this sort, Catholics are doing no more than expressing their views just as others are doing. No one else is “obligated” to follow our beliefs.
that said, I’m sure that you will agree that as free citizens of a free country, we have every right to make our views known and to try to convince others of the rightness of our position on any given matter.
I won’t discuss the particulars of the items you mention above because they have already been well and thoroughly discussed here at CAF but certainly these are not issues for you since you already agree with the Church’s position on the matters.

(Cont)

 

[JRKH]

(Cont)

Why can’t women become priests and eventually the Pope? I know it is a matter of tradition, and it was in the Bible. But it seems many things have evolved with time- including the treatment of women- should have changed this… I cannot find any real justification for why women would not make good priests or Popes. I feel like this indicates women are inferior… And that saddens me and pushes me away. I know it could be said men and women have ‘different spheres,’ but why would men be better for this particular role?

I’m sure that others will be able to give better answers than I - resources and reading etc…
In time you will come to realize that this “barrier” that you perceive is not a barrier at all.
Who is the greater - or more the servant of God Pope Benedict, or Mother Theresa of Calcutta?
Women - by virtue of the way God has set things up - are actually more free and in many ways more empowered to do great good than are many priests.
For as wonderful as the priesthood is, it is also very binding and the higher one moves in the hierarchy the more bound one becomes until…becoming Pope…one is in a virtual prison. The responsibility of the priesthood is tremendous…and the responsibility of the Pope must be crushing.

Is ‘making out’ a sin? My boyfriend and I are in no way considering sex before marriage or anything under the clothing or involving genitalia. But, it is a very long distance relationship. When I see him, I desperately want to be close to him. Is heated kissing a sin? I feel this is one area I am doomed to fail in. Which begs the question: How could I ever claim to be Catholic if I continuously repeated the same sin?

This one can be tricky and my advice is that you start by contacting your nearest parish and talking with the priest there about returning to the Church. If you have already made your first confession and first communion, reentering the Church will be a simple as going to confession and starting to attend mass weekly.
If this is the case, then when you go back to confession (which he might do at your meeting) you can bring this up with him and he can guide you better than we can.

Now on another level…I want you to consider this love you have for your boyfriend…and apply that same desire to God. For this is what we are called to do. To Love God above all else. To desire to be close to Him, just as you desire to be close to your boyfriend. Our Love for God should impel in us a desire to please Him, just as you would desire to please your boyfriend.
This is the Love relationship that God calls us to.

And here is the kicker:
I have read that thoughts can be sinful. So if I can eventually accept: “This is God’s will. I will verbally accept and do everything that he says, regardless of whether I agree,” am I still sinning? I love God. And I certainly fear God. But I don’t know how to actually change my opinion or my thoughts. What I’m wondering is: Is it okay to think differently as long as you accept that God must be right? I am ultimately afraid that I will not be able to change my mind about some things, and I do not want to be a ‘Cafeteria Catholic’ that picks and chooses. I just feel lost and afraid right now.

Sinful thoughts are not the same thing as doubts or concerns about teachings. Sinful thoughts relate more to how we view God and our neighbor and how we think about them. Read the Sermon on the Mount Mt chapters 5-7 for what I mean.

As far as embracing Church teachings etc…If I am reading you right…Yes - this is fine.
In submitting yourself to the Will of God, over your own will, you are taking a great step toward growing in humility and in wisdom.
Many of us have problems with this or that teaching, either we can’t seem to make sense of it, or we just don’t understand it or we haven’t really investigated it…yet we accept it because we accept Christ’s authoritative Church.
And the interesting thing for me is this…The more I look into things, the more I find the Church’s position to be good, logical, true and worthy of embracing.

Now I will offer a word of caution here. It is OK to harbor concerns about Church teachings but it is important that one keep these things fairly private. By that I mean we must never teach others something contrary to Church teaching - even if we have issues with it.
So - in speaking with others it is important that we present the Church’s teachings as correct, even as we ourselves struggle to understand.

This stuff keeps me up at night and I feel very anxious. Please help.

You have embarked on a wonderful journey and I think I can speak for everyone here that we are honored to walk with you on it.
It will take time, prayer, commitment, desire, and most fundamentally Love for God and neighbor. But you will grow in ways more wonderful than you can imagine. God has great plans for you.

Have you talked with your parents about your returning to the Church? Who knows, you might inspire them to join you on the journey. In any event, I encourage you to contact your local parish and talk with the pastor as soon as you are able.

Welcome Home

Peace
James

 

[Kathlec]

I just finished reading all of the replies, and I just want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart. A lot of what was said has calmed my heart so much. Hearing your experiences and your advice makes me feel like I am not alone in this!

To add a bit of background, I have had my first communion and first confession, but I have not been confirmed.

What exactly is the “RCIA” program and how can I get involved in it?

1. 1 John 4:7-8
2. Mt 22:36-40
3. 1 Corinthians 13:1-13

Thank you for your suggestions. I will be sure to read these tonight!

In matters of this sort, Catholics are doing no more than expressing their views just as others are doing. No one else is “obligated” to follow our beliefs.
that said, I’m sure that you will agree that as free citizens of a free country, we have every right to make our views known and to try to convince others of the rightness of our position on any given matter.

This of course is very true. I think my issue comes from this: God knew Adam and Eve would fall. But he gave humans free will; he wants us to choose to love him or it is not genuine love. So, while he has outlined that these things are sins, doesn’t he want us to have that choice? He put the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden to give them the chance to sin. That’s where I get confused.

I am also confused on the issue of rosaries. I have read a few descriptions but
I still am not sure what constitutes a decade/ how many total decades there are/ where I can get rosaries.

Thank you all so much,
Katie

 

[IesuMariaIoseph]

RCIA is the Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults. You join by going to your local parish. All Catholic Churches have such a program. Ask anybody there.

The rosary is a powerful pray mixed with meditation. 10 beads = 1 decade.
YouTube this: Fulton Sheen Rosary his audio is great.

Your church might even have a free rosary for you

 

[IesuMariaIoseph]

I could give you more info on the rosary here if you like

 

[onjac]

I just finished reading all of the replies, and I just want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart. A lot of what was said has calmed my heart so much. Hearing your experiences and your advice makes me feel like I am not alone in this!

To add a bit of background, I have had my first communion and first confession, but I have not been confirmed.

What exactly is the “RCIA” program and how can I get involved in it?

Thank you for your suggestions. I will be sure to read these tonight!

This of course is very true. I think my issue comes from this: God knew Adam and Eve would fall. But he gave humans free will; he wants us to choose to love him or it is not genuine love. So, while he has outlined that these things are sins, doesn’t he want us to have that choice? He put the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden to give them the chance to sin. That’s where I get confused.

I am also confused on the issue of rosaries. I have read a few descriptions but
I still am not sure what constitutes a decade/ how many total decades there are/ where I can get rosaries.

Thank you all so much,
Katie

I hope I understand your question properly. I reread it but couldn’t quite get it.

It’s like this, God is Love. He wants us know Love in its complete entirety and fullness. He knows everything but as a loving parent, He still gives us the option to turn away from His Love.

You know how there are parents who want the best for their kid but it also pains them when their child is not happy. So, the best they can do is let their kid make their own choices even though it’s painful. (For example, I know somebody whose daughter wants to drop put of college. He’s upset and warns her of how this may affect her future but he’s more upset by the fact that she is clearly unhappy being in college at all.)

That being said, God is always ready to welcome us ‘back home’ so to speak. This is what we see in the story of the prodigal son.

As for rosaries, some churches have a basket of free rosaries. You can get them for free online (no charge for shipping) or even use an app. Completing an entire rosary can be quite time consuming so people normally do a decade at a time throughout the day. A rosary generally has 5 decades but you can get ones that have a different number.

 

[JRKH]

I just finished reading all of the replies, and I just want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart. A lot of what was said has calmed my heart so much. Hearing your experiences and your advice makes me feel like I am not alone in this!

I’m so glad. This is a great site for just this sort of thing. It has been of tremendous help to me as I know it will continue to be for you.

To add a bit of background, I have had my first communion and first confession, but I have not been confirmed.

This is great. Then technically all you would need to do is to go to confession and your “back in” so to speak…That is, you are returned to a state of grace and since you have already received first communion you can start attending Mass and receiving communion. No need to wait for anything else.
Confirmation can wait a bit until you have studied further…

What exactly is the “RCIA” program and how can I get involved in it?

As already explained by “IesuMariaIoseph”, RCIA is "Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults. It is the classes that parishes give for people wishing to enter the Church. Since you are already Catholic you technically don’t need to take this class, but it could certainly be helpful in learning more about the faith.

Thank you for your suggestions. I will be sure to read these tonight!

You are most welcome.

This of course is very true. I think my issue comes from this: God knew Adam and Eve would fall. But he gave humans free will; he wants us to choose to love him or it is not genuine love. So, while he has outlined that these things are sins, doesn’t he want us to have that choice? He put the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden to give them the chance to sin. That’s where I get confused.

You are quite right in that God desires that we Love Him out of our free will.
Our free will also allows us to make sinful choices…But that does not mean that those choices need to be legal. Consider. Should Murder be legal? Should theft be legal?
I’m sure you agree that these things should be against the law. Yet people still murder and people still steal. Legal or illegal, free will remains intact.

Hope this helps a little.

Peace
James