Teens and Contraception

[twoangels]

Seriously whats the big deal about contraception? I dont know if I’ll ever understand it.

First off, let me agree though, kids should definitely not be having sex.
In my opinion, I dont think anyone should have sex until they are 18 or 21 (ages when they should be mature enough to understand it). ← And even then they should be married first.

Anyway, whats the big deal about contraception?
WHY is it wrong?
I AM against abortion though. Cause that really is straight-up murder.

But why is it frowned upon if you use conraception? Especially if your having sex? It is a medical fact that some types of contraception can significantly reduce the chance of STD’s and AIDS.

The way I see it is if you dont use contraception, then you’re just trading one problem for the other.

Example:
If you dont use contraception, you can still have the baby…but you may get an STD/VD which can harm the baby as well as the mother. (You solved one problem, but introduced another.)

If you do use contraception, you avoid the risk of STD/VD and the risk of pregnancy complications disappears as there would be no pregnancy to begin with. (You solve two problems, without introducing another.)

In other words…first option (1 for1), second option (2 for 1).
I’d side with the two-for.

Its the same as the drug debate, (and for some sex can be a drug). You have to ask yourself…“wouldnt you rather have your child be a drug dealer…than a drug addict?”

The birth control pill can actually weaken a woman’s immune system against STD’s. The condom makes it safer, but does not make it impossible to get an STD. Having sex with an infected partner is simply dangerous regardless of if a condom is used or not. Its just a little less dangerous. Its like driving a car the mechanic told you wasn’t safe to drive and putting on a safety belt. Good luck!

 

[Thoughtfulone]

So you are saying that teens DON’T listen to their parents about sex but they DO listen to them about birth control?

IF I were to tell my children that having sex outside of marriage is wrong and sinful, but hey I know you are weak and unimportant so here let me teach you how to put a condom on, or here let me pump your perfectly healthy body with a drug that will make it not work right and could later on cause infertility or even cancer. What kind of parent would I be?

No I will teach my children now the truths and foundation of their faith so that when they are older and faced with these decisions they can choose the narrow path to heaven. I always remind them when they leave the house to remember their goal in life.

Statistically, yes, they DO listen. I started having sex with my now-husband when I was 17 and my Mom was very adamant about her disapproval. Then, she took me to the doctor and got me a birth control prescription, which I used without fail for years. Parents can’t watch their children 24/7, especially with co-ed schools and extra-curricular activities and let’s face it, outright deception and tactical planning on the part of their children.

 

[Thoughtfulone]

Seriously whats the big deal about contraception? I dont know if I’ll ever understand it.

First off, let me agree though, kids should definitely not be having sex.
In my opinion, I dont think anyone should have sex until they are 18 or 21 (ages when they should be mature enough to understand it). ← And even then they should be married first.

Anyway, whats the big deal about contraception?
WHY is it wrong?
I AM against abortion though. Cause that really is straight-up murder.

But why is it frowned upon if you use conraception? Especially if your having sex? It is a medical fact that some types of contraception can significantly reduce the chance of STD’s and AIDS.

The way I see it is if you dont use contraception, then you’re just trading one problem for the other.

Example:
If you dont use contraception, you can still have the baby…but you may get an STD/VD which can harm the baby as well as the mother. (You solved one problem, but introduced another.)

If you do use contraception, you avoid the risk of STD/VD and the risk of pregnancy complications disappears as there would be no pregnancy to begin with. (You solve two problems, without introducing another.)

In other words…first option (1 for1), second option (2 for 1).
I’d side with the two-for.

Its the same as the drug debate, (and for some sex can be a drug). You have to ask yourself…“wouldnt you rather have your child be a drug dealer…than a drug addict?”

Thank goodness I’m not the only one. Have you ever seen Monty Python’s Ëvery Sperm is Sacred" skit? Hilarious.

 

[onebreadonebody]

Seriously whats the big deal about contraception?

From what I understand (someone please correct me if this is wrong):

Using hormonal contraceptives for medical purposes is not sinful, but then there’s the fact that the artificial hormones in them are classified up there with asbestos as a substance that causes cancer.

Using them in order to avoid getting pregnant is wrong for a number of reasons:

• In practical terms, there is a substantial risk of causing an abortion because they designed pills so that, if conception takes place anyway, the pill’s other effect will make sure that the embryo (a 46-chromosome human being) cannot implant on the uterus walls, and will therefore be flushed out and die. There are no exact numbers as to how many embryos have been aborted in this fashion because of hormonal contraceptives, but there are estimates that say they exceed the number of surgical abortions.
• In other practical terms, there is a substantial likelihood for “risk compensation” that have concerned scientists who have studied HIV for many years. It simply means that people using contraceptives will become complacent and take more risks, such as in being promiscuous. They observed this very large populations, and this explains why societies where contraceptives are widely available and advocated will still have very high rates of STDs and unwanted pregnancies. For the latter, many such pregnancies are terminated (since the mindset is that they don’t want to get pregnant). I’m sure you know that a million or so surgical abortions are done in the US every year.
• Contraception in a marriage is also a violation of the marital act, taking something that God deliberately designed for good and using it for self-gratification while thwarting/blocking the other parts of God’s design. Instead of an act of total self-giving, it becomes an individual act of self-gratification.

At least, that’s how I understand it.

If you do use contraception, you avoid the risk of STD/VD and the risk of pregnancy complications disappears as there would be no pregnancy to begin with. (You solve two problems, without introducing another.)

That pregnancy is that part which comes from God. Thwarting it while using the act for gratification is, when you think about it, a perversion of God’s plan for his design of human sexuality, reproduction and marriage.

And STD seems to be strangely very high in countries where contraception is advocated, available (sometimes government subsidized) and in use. In Uganda, the Harvard team of Dr. Edward Green found out that it was the attitude changes that lowered HIV rates. In the 1990s experience of Thailand vs. the Philippines, the same thing happened, where Thailand embraced the 100% condom policy and saw their HIV rates shoot straight up (from 112 in 1987 to 899,000 cases by 2003) while the Philippines rejected that policy and their HIV rates remained steady and low (from 135 in 1987 to 1,946 cases by 2003).

 

[cyejbv]

as per much of what is being discussed, a great resource is Jason Evert- google or You Tube him, whatevfer the verb is he’s a GREAT Catholic apologist esp for teens regarding their sexuality and the teachings of the Church; AND kudos, thank you and hear hear forum master for your response.

The problem with Contraception… what did Gandalf say to Frodo when they wanted to kill Gollum? something about ‘men live who deserve to die, men die who deserve to live, you want to take a life, but can you give it? No, it’s the domain of God’ that was a horrible paraphras but Catholics may no**t prevent life or it’s possiblity as it is gift from God. You could spend forever researching it, but as a convert, I’m tellin’ ya, knowledge is power. Take the time to find out the why’s. Incidentally, up until I think… 1939 (?) ish contraception was condemned by all other major protestant churches as well, I believe.

 

[Orleans_Attny]

That kind of parenting seems awfully extreme to me. Every girl I ever knew whose parents were that strict freaked out and got into sex and drugs pretty hardcore in college. Not dating until you were 19? You weren’t even a minor anymore!

DING! I agree.

And I also just don’t consider this advice realistic. I know plenty of women who waited until they were married to have sex. None of them had to be treated like this. And though this philosophy on parenting may have worked for this poster, I think reject entirely that this is the way that all young women should be treated . . . or that parents would even be able to do this if they wanted.

Pax,
OA

 

[Orleans_Attny]

Seriously whats the big deal about contraception? I dont know if I’ll ever understand it.

First off, let me agree though, kids should definitely not be having sex.
In my opinion, I dont think anyone should have sex until they are 18 or 21 (ages when they should be mature enough to understand it). ← And even then they should be married first.

Anyway, whats the big deal about contraception?
WHY is it wrong?
I AM against abortion though. Cause that really is straight-up murder.

But why is it frowned upon if you use conraception? Especially if your having sex? It is a medical fact that some types of contraception can significantly reduce the chance of STD’s and AIDS.

The way I see it is if you dont use contraception, then you’re just trading one problem for the other.

Example:
If you dont use contraception, you can still have the baby…but you may get an STD/VD which can harm the baby as well as the mother. (You solved one problem, but introduced another.)

If you do use contraception, you avoid the risk of STD/VD and the risk of pregnancy complications disappears as there would be no pregnancy to begin with. (You solve two problems, without introducing another.)

In other words…first option (1 for1), second option (2 for 1).
I’d side with the two-for.

Its the same as the drug debate, (and for some sex can be a drug). You have to ask yourself…“wouldnt you rather have your child be a drug dealer…than a drug addict?”

I recently read a blog post . . . I know, I know - work with me here . . . and I thought that the author wrote something very profound. Her explanation of sex is probably missed by many people - particularly those who have grown up viewing sex as an individual choice between a two (or more ) consenting adults . . . or at least people beyond the age of majority.

One thing about it all quickly jumped out to me: if all this soul/God/eternity stuff is true, then human sexuality is a very, very grave matter. I thought of sex, that same ‘ol thing I’d seen bandied about in the media and in pop culture all my life, and suddenly realized: Whoa! Hey! This is the process through which human beings — people with eternal souls, dearly precious to God – are created! What a profoundly miraculous, sacred thing this is. What an unbelievable, undeserved honor that God would allow us to take part in co-creating lives with him!

After I let that huge concept sink in, I began to explore Christian teaching on sexuality more. It just seemed like this was an area where we really needed to bow our heads in humility before God, where we must tread with the utmost care and respect. I wanted to know more about how we could do that. I had been interested in Catholic theology for other reasons, so I read up on the Theology of the Body and Humanae Vitae. It was an easy sell.

You can find the post HERE.

When you start to think of sex as a sacred act in which God allows us to participate in the creation of a living being in possession of an eteral soul . . . it starts to feel like you should be a lot reverent, doesn’t it?

Imagine if God gave to us the ability to create and Angel from scratch merely by forming clay into a mound, saying some special words, and blowing on the mound. Don’t you think that we would celebrate that act as a profoundly sacred act deserving of deep reverence and seriousness?

Using contraception is taking an opportunity to join with God in the creation of an eternally soulful person, and then blocking God from the act so that it’s distorted into selfish physical pleasure.

Pax,
OA

 

[phoenixrrt62]

Wouldn’t the teen say " But our relationship **is **special daddy(or mommy)!"

Sorry it took so long for me to respond, I wasn’t ignoring you or anything, I was working last night, and while I can respond sometimes when I am surfing on my breaks/downtime, sometimes my I phone won’t cooperate…so,I did see your comment;D just couldn’t respond,the darn iphone was kicking me out…

I do want to say I do NOT actually have a daughter, I have a son. He’s 13. However, yeah…I see your point, and, yeah, I can SEE my son saying that to me…pfft. Talk about irony. HA!

I REALLY would try to stress that sex is something that you’d reserve for someone that you really have a deep, intimate relationship with…and, well, I’d think generally that you’d have that kind of intimacy after about, say, 8-12 months? Sex isn’t something to be taken lightly, and emotionally you give your heart and soul to that SO, you know, and when the relationship’s over…which, time and circumstances being what they will, it will end…it’s gonna be pretty damn painful.

So…you just don’t nail everyone just b/c it feels good, it cheapens the act after a while, and it becomes pretty much meaningless…which would be pretty sad. Hell, might as well use your hand, be much less painful, and just as effective…

As you can see, I am VERY liberal when it comes to sex, and the stigma surrounding it, etc. I don’t think that sex outside of marriage is wrong…in fact, generally, I’d be a bit stunned if my son did NOT have sex before marriage, if he ever decided to marry at all.

What would disturb me more is UNPROTECTED, CASUAL sex (now what I see as casual is a one night stand, a hookup just to feel good, FWB, that kind of thing).

If my son wanted to have sex, he needs to own up to the possible consequence of his actions (and his SO’s). Condoms break. Birth control fails. Emotions can get out of hand, and you and your SO can get caught up in the moment…and when that happens? You run the risk of a STD, some possibly fatal. You may bring another soul into this world that wasn’t planned…and it’s not fair to that potential life to have such a unfair disadvantage…and with that life you brought into this world? No matter what you may feel…you are responsible.
You owe that child support for the next 18-20 years…MINIMUM.
Your career? Your college tuition? It’s child support.
Your new car? Child support.

And yes, we HAVE HAD some of these conversations. Others, no. Some I can drive home now. Others (because he doesn’t really seem interested in dating, has no SO) I can’t drive home yet. But…I will try. And that’s all I can do.

I think another poster said that he/she’d make sure that their child was either in their sight or in a place where there was NO chance of any kind of hanky/panky…the poster didn’t let the child date until they were 19? Something like that?

Yeah, that can work, but…well, you are severely curtailing the social skill set of the child. It’s not healthy, generally, trust. My foster parents did that to me. They were generally pretty strict Catholics, and I imagine they meant well, but…I came straight home after school. I was not permitted to use the phone, I had NO friends in our home. The only time I went out was with my younger foster brother, and that was in a 5 block radius. The only friends I had were at school. I was checked EVERY day before I walked out the door, and anything ever remotely revealing was removed. Pronto. And, trust you me, I had NOTHING that resembled revealing, period. Goodwill clothes aren’t revealing.

When I was removed from the home, I was placed in a group home. I was too emotionally disturbed at that point to be placed with another family. I needed psych treatment. I was 17, with the emotional mentality of about a 12-13 year old. I was a mess.

You have to walk a fine line, I’d imagine. For me, the lines were blurred…I was so sheltered, I had NO freedom. I fear I am going in the opposite direction with my son, for fear that what happened to me may happen to him. Sad. Really, really sad.