Teens Coming Out

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I’ve seen it here as well. I can’t help but feel irritated at Catholics who say the Church is an amazing place where the LGBT community is welcomed and loved, but they treat them as if they’re gross or ‘different’. People who are angry at the whole liberalism thing we are seeing now tend to take it out on actual LGBTs, imo instead of acknowledging issues that are going on.
 
Lots of food for thought here, thank you!

I definitely don’t want to invalidate people’s experiences or feelings because I truthfully don’t know what it is they are feeling, choosing, etc. I also don’t want to be one of those who starts talking about my faith “at” someone rather than having a two way conversation which can definitely turn people away from even a remote interest in the Catholic Church.

If anything, the reason I’ve stopped being close to some of those who come out, it’s because they’re REALLY inappropriate and talk about pretty bad things that make me uncomfortable. I don’t unfriend people just because they come out. One girl I’m somewhat close with identifies as bisexual and asexual but I can have completely pure conversations with her and have fun with her.

Also, @catholic1seeks I came here because I wanted an opinion on what other Catholics would do in this situation. Any suggestions that would be rude and contrary to human decency regarding this would not be heeded. I care about these peers, that’s why I pray for them.
I really don’t know how much of their sexuality is legitimate feelings and how much of it is true. I will say that many of them fully embrace the colorful and modern view on it from what I see them liking on social media and talking about in person.
 
I’m not sure there is much you have to do. Like anything, with any of our fellow non-Catholic or non-Christian friends, you just maintain respect, and continue showing love and respect. If one of them brings up the Catholic Church, maybe you could enter in the conversation. But with regards to the sexuality issue, I’m not sure much needs to be said.

Most people these days, if they get out of their homes and cliques, know of at least one LGBT person – even if not personally out to them.
 
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She is attracted to both men and women, apparently more so women but not sexually attracted. I’m not completely sure how it works. I know there is a term of biromantic which would suit the situation more but I really am not sure…
 
Honestly, I think these kids are trying to pidgeon-hole themselves way too early. It’s normal to still not have sexual attraction into your late teens.
 
redbetta said:
Now that I’m thinking about this, maybe some teens are coming out to get in on that juicy victim hood privilege.
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This is a really good remark, a lot of teens buying into politics (like communism) are also adopting a narrative that allows them “to make a point” and “take a stance” because they lack either.

A good catechesis allows them a much more fertile and meaningful “avenue” for thought, reflection, and definition of self.

@LittleFlower378
 
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I know! I think that in a sexualized culture, they may feel like they need to have sexual feelings already. Some teens will because of hormones and it’s really an individual thing. Identity is a huge thing with teens and what I’m noticing is with all the terms for all the feelings or attractions out there, sexual identity is a lot more important that I personally think it should be to the public.
 
Late teens? I don’t know about that. An 18 year old who has no sexual interest is a bit of an outlier.
 
catholic1seeks said:
(Paraphrasing actual experiences of mine here at CAF…)
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Then let me add to it. How many teens have we seen getting into drugs, sex, tobacco, and alcohol through bad influences and peer pressure? Quite a few one might recon.

So, in those “formative years” certain influences are to be denounced. I’m not speaking about those with long-standing “deep seated” SSA, but of all those some would label “curious-this, curious-that”…IMO, sexuality requires a fair amount of formation (I’m past my teens years and still working on it), and trumpeting to young folks it’s ok “to act out” in a moment of indefinition goes against the principles of restrain, modesty, prudence, patience, and chastity.
 
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I had a crush on a GIRL when I was 15. LOL. But I’m not sexually attracted to girls at all. So I agree that crushes are not the same as sexual attraction.
 
Well, as a general note when you start nearing your 30’s you start meeting folks that -for lots of reasons- stayed chaste for longer periods of their life. In my personal experience, I think those persons are indispensable to find some meaning in the young persons that (again, for several reasons) stay chaste.

From here it gets really complicated (it’s a pitfall wanting to reduce the analyses of a persons sexuality to the individual, because there is a society around them, a life project, a family. And, if you wanted to add one more “step” one can deem “chastity” to be a “gift of the Holy Spirit” - or more simply: “A Grace”. [So it’s not only nature, or natural, at work, but also the supernatural.]

But let us simplify things: One of the most important “case studies” is that of the “celibates” that never actually constituted a family - and thus, never “consummated” their sexuality because: every single socioeconomic and cultural factor of the society they lived in excluded them from “being marriage material”, and thus excluded from “the marriage market”.

But like I said, “chastity” is a beautiful grace and is also intimately related with “solitude” by choice or vocation. And thus, remits to fields of analyses that are not only of sexuality although connected to it.
 
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redbetta said:
Okay. I’m not sure what this has to do with my comment, though.
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It relates in the following manner: If you are catechist (I dare to say) the most difficult and delicate part of the catechesis will be about chastity (because you’ll be speaking about sexuality with an audience of youngsters).

Then, you’ll get the different kinds of youngsters (those who are burning to get a BF/GF and those who never gave it a second thought.) So you’ll verify (and come across) different distributions of the “gifts of the Holy Spirit” with both extremes present in the same class.

The one thing that does not cease to amaze me, are the (extremely) personal descriptions of chastity (more so when someone twice your age gives that same description).

So it relates, because it is simply pertinent and offers an alternative to some dominant narratives that seek only to dominate.
 
StephenBales said:
Even for those who are only participating in something because it’s fashionable, it can still be extraordinarily damaging. But we should know our battle.
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This last part of my first reply has been bugging me. I should clarify.
I certainly don’t mean one should go into a conversation with someone who claims SSA as a battle, nor should we start throwing statistics like the ones I provided at them. Certainly not when stats like that are hard to prove and not always replicable. In fact, we probably shouldn’t go around saying, “You’re a fake gay!” or anything like that. We should just keep it in mind. The standard approach, speaking truth and standing your ground, but doing so lovingly and gently, is always appropriate in the standard scenario.
 
@LittleFlower378 won the thread for me. A reader of Karol Wojtyla’s works on sexuality is alright in my book and certain not to get easily fooled on such matters.
 
Footprints said:
If anything, the reason I’ve stopped being close to some of those who come out, it’s because they’re REALLY inappropriate and talk about pretty bad things that make me uncomfortable. I don’t unfriend people just because they come out. One girl I’m somewhat close with identifies as bisexual and asexual but I can have completely pure conversations with her and have fun with her.
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Absolutely. I just finished my junior year of high school, and a gal who I was in JROTC with and have known for a couple years now is a lesbian. I’d say “struggles with SSA,” but she doesn’t struggle with it, because she’s not of the belief it’s wrong. She’s not a Christian. But she’s very civil, she’s pleasant in conversation, and she has no problem disagreeing and debating, even when her disagreement with me is vehement. And she’ll stay polite the whole time. So we talked about philosophy, history, religion, politics, and she even helped me get started learning Korean, even though I eventually abandoned it 🤷‍♂️ There was another lesbian in the class I was also friends with, but she was not nearly so discreet, and talked openly and often about her…endeavors. Whenever she came over to our desks, the conversation would turn quickly, and I’d exit it. But otherwise, conversation is good, and I hope to make progress in senior year with the first gal I mentioned.
 
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