Teens - MySpace.com

[Tantum_ergo]

Aly I was 12 when my father died; my 17 year old sister ran away and got married 6 months later because she was into drugs and sex.

Did my mom get protective of me then? Oh yeah. I never even dated until I went off to college. (dating meaning going with one guy. I was certainly allowed from age 15 to go out with friends but it had to be at least 3 others and I had to tell her where I was going–and this was before cell phones. )

And you know what? She was right. There were a lot of bad people out there along with the good. And when you don’t have a father around to influence and guide you, it is harder to judge guys. It really is. Every time that I went against her advice or her ‘rules’ or thought that I knew better than some musty old book, I wound up worse off in the end. Even if sometimes things were really cool or I felt really good–it never lasted because it wasn’t built on reality–it wasn’t built on firm goodness, faith, and truth. And when I would break up with a guy I would feel even more worthless because I had done what ‘society’ said was right. I had played by all the rules–why wasn’t I getting what society said everybody else had–lots of carefree sex, handsome men, and fun-fun-fun?

I want to tell you this because if it helps keep you from suffering even the littlest bit of the pain and the hurt and the evil that I went through, it will be worth it.

You deserve so much better than this empty lie the world is trying to sell you, that you’re ‘just’ for pleasure and enjoyment and material stuff, and that nothing else matters.

God bless.

 

[wjp984]

Oh, and as a warning, don’t post anything you don’t want your parents to see since they have every right to see it. If you are going to post it on myspace and it is made open to the public then the public includes your parents. For example, if your mom types in your name to see what you post about then that is perfectly acceptable. If any of it is unacceptable she would have every right to punish you for it. It would not be an invasion of your privacy since anyone can see it.

 

[didymus]

As long as we’re on the topic of Myspace:

ID thieves find ways to attack MySpace users
Security experts seek measures to thwart clever digital crooks

                                                    Gary Gentile, Associated Press
                           Tuesday, December 26, 2006

(12-26) 04:00 PST Los Angeles – MySpace devotee Kary Rogers was expecting to see a gut-busting video when a friend from the popular online hangout messaged him a link.

First, though, he was directed to a page where he was supposed to re-enter his password. Rogers realized that someone was trying to steal his information, and he didn’t take the bait. At best, he would be spammed with junk e-mails; worse, the Web thief might steal his real-life identity.
“I immediately went back and changed my password,” said Rogers, 29, a network analyst for Mississippi State University in Starkville, Miss.

MySpace bills itself as a “place for friends.” Increasingly, it is also a place for unfriendly attacks from digital miscreants on the prowl, luring users to sexually explicit Web sites, clogging mailboxes with spam messages and playing on the trust users have when speaking to “friends” to obtain passwords that could lead to identity theft.

Managing the risks that come with rapid growth is an enormous challenge for MySpace, now part of Rupert Murdoch’s News Corp. media conglomerate. The site can’t afford to drive away users, who might defect to one of a growing number of other sites, or advertisers, who pay top dollar to reach the growing MySpace audience.

tinyurl.com/ycks25

 

[Karianne]

I guess it would be super cool if somebody else was tellin me that Im right and my mom is wrong and i guess I just think that Im a pretty normal girl who cant do ANYTHING since my dad died!!. I mean Ive had a myspace for like a year and dont have any dirty stuff on it or even links to friends. I just go there to chat with my friends. The masterbating thing is like something totaly different and freaks me out cuz tons of people says its wrong but cant say why. I mean i know my friends do it sometimes. I know boys do it all the time. I know lotsa other people do it and i just dont see how it can hurt me or anybody else. THIS my mom definitely does NOT know about!! I would die and she would kill me.

LOL -Aly!

Aly,
I think that you still miss your father. There’s something about your posts that makes me think that.
I wish that you and your mom would go into bereavement counseling together, both of you have to figure out how to build a new life together now that someone important is gone.
Please suggest it to her.

 

[didymus]

Thanks guys. U are super cool. I just got a new computer (MY OWN!) for christmas which is why I can ask questions and it is TOTALLY COOL.

You should really appreciate the fact that your Mom is letting you have your own computer, which is HUGE. A lot of the “experts” tell aprents never to let a kid have his/her computer in their room.

My biggest thing is that my mom doesn’t let me do ANYTHING. After my dad died she like got totally wierd and is like always freakin out about me and my friends and sex. She told me i cant go to myspace.com cant wear skimpy underwear that NOBODY except me EVEN SEES and then threw away a bunch of thongs that i bought.

First, I’m sorry about your Dad dying. I know it is rough on you, but it is even rougher on her since she now has to raise you alone.
As for the thongs, probably to her thongs symbolise promiscuity or some such. Parents don’t have to be logical.

She said THAT is why I cant go to myspsace!!! I dont get it. I’m 14!!! If Im not doing anything wrong why cant I live like everybody else? I know i should obey her but she has gottin so wierd that it is REALLY hard to obey and LIVE my life.

Ugh!

Aly!

Well, for as long as you Mom is responsible it isn’t really your own life, or not just yours.
I think you are being a help to her by doing your best to be obedient and you can be proud of yourself for that.

As for where else you could go online, aren’t forums like this one but for teens?

 

[mrs_abbott]

I guess it would be super cool if somebody else was tellin me that Im right and my mom is wrong and i guess I just think that Im a pretty normal girl who cant do ANYTHING since my dad died!!. I mean Ive had a myspace for like a year and dont have any dirty stuff on it or even links to friends. I just go there to chat with my friends. The masterbating thing is like something totaly different and freaks me out cuz tons of people says its wrong but cant say why. I mean i know my friends do it sometimes. I know boys do it all the time. I know lotsa other people do it and i just dont see how it can hurt me or anybody else. THIS my mom definitely does NOT know about!! I would die and she would kill me.

LOL -Aly!

So before your dad passed away (which I’m sorry to hear that), you could do whatever you wanted whenever you wanted?
Aly, at 14, sex was the furthest thing from my mind. Pray for purity of heart and mind.

 

[Aly]

I couldnt like do anything i wanted but i could do normal girl stuff and now its like im in PRISON! I think girls now are totaly diffrent cuz everybody i know has sex or does other stuff like that. One of my friends was doing it with boys at like 11 and alot of others were doing it at 12 and there is nobody i know who doesnt now. There is one girl who says shes a christian and a virgin cuz shes never had sex but she is like the #1 slut for messing aroung doing other stuff with boys all the time. She even did it 2 one of my boyfriends! I pray all the time and think im a pretty good compared to some of the other girls out there.

-Aly!

 

[mrs_abbott]

I couldnt like do anything i wanted but i could do normal girl stuff and now its like im in PRISON! I think girls now are totaly diffrent cuz everybody i know has sex or does other stuff like that. One of my friends was doing it with boys at like 11 and alot of others were doing it at 12 and there is nobody i know who doesnt now. There is one girl who says shes a christian and a virgin cuz shes never had sex but she is like the #1 slut for messing aroung doing other stuff with boys all the time. She even did it 2 one of my boyfriends! I pray all the time and think im a pretty good compared to some of the other girls out there.

-Aly!

I am sorry that you are surrounded by people like that. I hope and pray that you can stay pure til marriage. Fourteen is SO young (I’m only 25 so it wasn’t that long ago that I was there)! You guys shouldn’t be dating boys yet. You should be having fun being friends and hanging out together.
This is so sad! It makes me want to cry. Trust me, I did my fair share of things I’m not proud of but I was well into my twenties before I slipped.
Keep praying and maybe, if you haven’t, start reading your Bible. Read Hebrews 13. It’s all about the Christian way of life.
I will definitely be praying for you and your friends. You shouldn’t be going through this stuff at all. It just goes to show how obsessed with sex the world has become. Lord help my children when they get to be that age.

 

[SeekerJen]

I couldnt like do anything i wanted but i could do normal girl stuff and now its like im in PRISON! I think girls now are totaly diffrent cuz everybody i know has sex or does other stuff like that. One of my friends was doing it with boys at like 11 and alot of others were doing it at 12 and there is nobody i know who doesnt now. There is one girl who says shes a christian and a virgin cuz shes never had sex but she is like the #1 slut for messing aroung doing other stuff with boys all the time. She even did it 2 one of my boyfriends! I pray all the time and think im a pretty good compared to some of the other girls out there.

-Aly!

This is unbelievably sad to me. Sex is now “normal girl stuff”? When I was 11 and 12: the furthest any of us got was awkwardly slow-dancing with boys at school dances and then going off to the bathroom to giggle about how cute the boy in question was. At 14- I’m sure some girls were messing around with boys, mostly the girls with no parental supervision, but the rest of us were involved in harmless flirting and innocent group dates. Good grief, very few of my friends were allowed to date before age 16, and one of the few who was allowed to date before that ended up pregnant at 18. And guess what, I’m only 28. I’ve only been out of high school for 10 years, so not that long ago.

Seriously, what is wrong with most parents today? Do they not even care that their daughters are basically prostituting themselves for popularity? Aly, your mom may be strict, but trust me, she sees the bigger picture of what’s going on and is trying to protect you because she loves you. High school is not forever, and you will be grateful to her someday. In the meantime, find new friends. Please. For your own sake.

 

[Celtic_FC]

Yeah I didn’t date until I was 17.

 

[Marilena]

iam a mom of a 24 year old. before she left home, i would not let her wear revealing clothes be it that no one could see it or not. today, (and iam only speaking for her and not you) she has great morals, and still does not wear revealing clothes.

first off, your mom is very correct in throwing those type of under garments out. she is trying to install good moral values in you, and you should sit back and listen to her. i have read some of your other posts, and think your mother is doing the right thing.

your mother cares about you, and she loves you alot, and do not consider her attitude as “freaking out” she has every right to tell you not to visit a website she considers questionable.
remember, your not an adult, and your parents are responsible for you. try seeing it from her point of view.

your dad might be a bit lax in his attitude, but your mom isn’t.
alot of teens grow up wishing they had listened to their parents, and that includes me. even if i did not get pregnant at the age of almost 17, i still wish i had listened to my mom!
if i had, i would have avoided alot of teenage heartbreak.

give your mother credit. have you sat down and really talked with her? i mean it is a good idea to ask your mom where she is coming from. have you thought to just sit down and talk with her? when your a mother in the future, you will understand where she is coming from.

i do. my daughter listened and for that iam very greatful to God. she had 3 good role models, myself, her granny and her aunt. she learned from us, and she is now a wonderful young woman. iam very proud of her.

why cause your mother heartache? let her be your mom, and stop listening to what your friends are saying. they don’t seem to say appropriate things to you. your a young woman who should be concentrating on God, and what your future plans are, and not on all these issues of sex, and boys, and web sites that are questionable. concentrate on school, and getting the best education for yourself and growing daily in the faith.

yes, it is natural to be wondering about relationships, but your to young to think about things like that. enjoy being young and enjoy growing in the faith, and being in school. it only comes by once my friend. and please, listen to your mother.

as a matter of fact,. talk to both of your parents. sit down and have a long talk with them in private. get it all out in the open.
be respectful to your parents and be charitable. it goes a long way.

 

[Kevin42]

While I certainly don’t agree with your mom’s views on myspace, if she doesn’t want you to have one, then you should delete it. However, I really don’t see this as a problem for you. You have so many other ways to contact your friends…phone, text, IM, actually meeting them. Myspace is really kind of a pointless waste of time and I think you’ll be glad to get rid of it. You don’t need a website to keep track of your friends. If they really are your friends, you should be able to keep in touch some other way. I don’t think myspace is evil…just more like a waste of time when you could be doing other more fun things, or actually being with your friends. I’d say delete it because of this, and because your mom asked you to.

 

[KNG89]

Yeah I didn’t date until I was 17.

I’m 17 and I still haven’t had a boyfriend.

 

[mrs_abbott]

I’m 17 and I still haven’t had a boyfriend.

Do you have lot of friends obsessed with sex too? I’m just asking because Aly does and my friends and I didn’t even think about it when we were in high school.

 

[KNG89]

Do you have lot of friends obsessed with sex too? I’m just asking because Aly does and my friends and I didn’t even think about it when we were in high school.

Not really. We never really talk about it. I know of a few people in my school who have had sex, one of my friends had baby a while back. When I was in junior high some of the kids laughed at me when I said I was waiting until marriage to have sex.

My school really stresses abstinence. We did a thing on abstinence for two weeks durning P.E. in seventh grade. We also had a unit on abstinence in health class my freshmen year.

 

[KNG89]

Thanks guys. U are super cool. I just got a new computer (MY OWN!) for christmas which is why I can ask questions and it is TOTALLY COOL. My biggest thing is that my mom doesn’t let me do ANYTHING. After my dad died she like got totally wierd and is like always freakin out about me and my friends and sex. She told me i cant go to myspace.com cant wear skimpy underwear that NOBODY except me EVEN SEES and then threw away a bunch of thongs that i bought. She said THAT is why I cant go to myspsace!!! I dont get it. I’m 14!!! If Im not doing anything wrong why cant I live like everybody else? I know i should obey her but she has gottin so wierd that it is REALLY hard to obey and LIVE my life.

Ugh!

Aly!

Maybe your mom is nervous about having to raise a teenager on her own. Just talk to her. Let her know that she can trust you, and don’t hide ANYTHING from her.

 

[mrs_abbott]

Not really. We never really talk about it. I know of a few people in my school who have had sex, one of my friends had baby a while back. When I was in junior high some of the kids laughed at me when I said I was waiting until marriage to have sex.

My school really stresses abstinence. We did a thing on abstinence for two weeks durning P.E. in seventh grade. We also had a unit on abstinence in health class my freshmen year.

That’s refreshing to know that not all teens are obsessed with it.
I’m proud of you for wanting to wait til marriage. Are you planning on going to college away from home? If so, that’s where the temptation gets strong. I am proud of you though for standing up against the crowd. I know it’s a hard thing to do.

 

[Kevin42]

Let her know that she can trust you, and don’t hide ANYTHING from her.

Better yet, don’t* attempt *to try and hide anything, because you will fail. You may get away with it for a year even, but eventually, moms find out everything. If nothing else, honesty is best because then you never get in trouble for lying. Gaining a parents trust is much better than waisting time trying to hide something that will inneviatbly surface. Trust me, eventually moms do find out…there’s nothing you can hide from them, unfortunately for us .

 

[KNG89]

Better yet, don’t* attempt *to try and hide anything, because you will fail. You may get away with it for a year even, but eventually, moms find out everything. If nothing else, honesty is best because then you never get in trouble for lying. Gaining a parents trust is much better than waisting time trying to hide something that will inneviatbly surface. Trust me, eventually moms do find out…there’s nothing you can hide from them, unfortunately for us .

That is so true. Moms have a sixth sense about these things. It’s kinda scary sometimes.

 

[wjp984]

I think the truth is Everyone is** NOT** doing it. There are a lot more people that want to wait until marriage than one might think. There are also a lot more people who want to be good Catholics than one might think. The problem is that people don’t admit to being good Catholics and therefore never interact with others. It is seen as something to keep secret or even lie about. All people are surrounded with is the other side and the everyone is doing it fallacy is seen. In fact, I think the problem is people that would normally want to be good practicing Catholics fall into this everyone is doing it fallacy and since they think they are alone, which is definitelyt not the case, end up breaking away from the teachings of the church.