Tell me everything I need to know about guys

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redbetta

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Background: I’m an 18-year old girl who is starting college in September who has attended an all-girls high school for all four years and has not had any contact with males outside my immediate family and none that are around my age. Tell me everything I need to know so that I can be prepared because I know absolutely nothing. Thanks.
 
They’re people, just like you.

I can’t tell you anything about them because they’re all different.
 
BlueEyedLady said:
They’re people, just like you.

I can’t tell you anything about them because they’re all different.
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BEL has it right. There is a spectrum that runs from complete animal savages on one end to total saints on the other end, and guy fall along the complete length of the spectrum.
 
I’m just looking for practical advise. Seriously, my social knowledge is severely limited.
 
Hi!

PRACTICAL: adjective
of or concerned with the actual doing or use of something rather than with theory and ideas.

Practical advice: meet a guy in real life and talk to him.

Absent that, check out some websites:

artofmanliness.com
catholicgentleman.net

Peace
 
redbetta said:
I’m just looking for practical advise. Seriously, my social knowledge is severely limited.
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BEL is still right.

The best social advice I can give, for dealing with men or women, is to say what you mean and mean what you say, and give yourself ten seconds before you say something while riding high on an emotion.

If you forget, say you’re sorry and resolve to do better.

And don’t spend time around people who refuse to do the above. Even in college, life is too short for drama queens (or kings.)
 
redbetta said:
I’m just looking for practical advise. Seriously, my social knowledge is severely limited.
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Hard question, but I’ll give it a shot.

As another said, the behaviors of men runs the gamut.
First, trust nothing that anyone says. Pay particular attention to what guys do, rather than what they say. There is a class of guys that make a hobby out of getting into girls pants. These types do tend to be more flattering than the average, but they can be hard to spot at first. Charm is often not a reflection of morality. Being “religious” is also no guarantee of morality.
Many of the guys who are moral tend to be very shy around girls.

Don’t allow yourself to be put in awkward situations.
Be the sober girl at the party.
If you are interested in some young man, take your time, be patient, and give him
every opportunity to show whether he’s a decent fellow or not, this takes time.
Don’t associate with harmful people (i.e. when you discover some guy is a jerk have NOTHING to do with him).

Red flags:
loner
doesn’t want to meet family
doesn’t want to associate with your friends
any kind of illegal behavior
can’t handle his finances
controlling
 
Glomung said:
Hard question, but I’ll give it a shot.

As another said, the behaviors of men runs the gamut.
First, trust nothing that anyone says. Pay particular attention to what guys do, rather than what they say. There is a class of guys that make a hobby out of getting into girls pants. These types do tend to be more flattering than the average, but they can be hard to spot at first. Charm is often not a reflection of morality. Being “religious” is also no guarantee of morality.
Many of the guys who are moral tend to be very shy around girls.

Don’t allow yourself to be put in awkward situations.
Be the sober girl at the party.
If you are interested in some young man, take your time, be patient, and give him
every opportunity to show whether he’s a decent fellow or not, this takes time.
Don’t associate with harmful people (i.e. when you discover some guy is a jerk have NOTHING to do with him).

Red flags:
loner
doesn’t want to meet family
doesn’t want to associate with your friends
any kind of illegal behavior
can’t handle his finances
controlling
Click to expand...
The above is all excellent advice. I would add a little more. Go to Mass either on campus or the nearest accessible one, and take a look around you. Make eye contact and smile if you see a guy there who looks interesting to you. Get involved in any activities the Church may have to offer that sound appealing, and get to know any guys who might also be involved. Don’t be afraid of the shy ones - they’re often the most sincere. Once you begin dating any guy even semi-seriously, I highly recommend very casually discussing how they feel about pornography. If they think it’s fine, that’s a huge red flag, even if they seem like a great guy otherwise.
Most of all, be yourself, stay safe and protect yourself always, and have fun. These are the years to discover the type of guy you might want to marry one day, but there will likely be many to be friendly with or date before you narrow that choice down. God bless!
 
When it comes to relationships, look for a guy who acts like a gentleman and treats you like a lady. In the process, be sure that you act like a lady and treat the guy like a gentleman.

If you want a hint about how a guy will treat you, watch how he treats/talks about his mother and/or his sister (if he has any). This, however, is only a generality, not a cast-in-concrete rule.
 
not all that different from you, or all the girls tha tyou know, honestly

obviously some natural differences between the sexes but the gap is not as wide as some try to make it seem
 
Well, I can say there is …the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly ;).

Ask a girlfriend whom you trust if she has a brother, and just hang out.

oldfashionedmovie.com/

prayers and blessings!
 
redbetta said:
Background: I’m an 18-year old girl who is starting college in September who has attended an all-girls high school for all four years and has not had any contact with males outside my immediate family and none that are around my age. Tell me everything I need to know so that I can be prepared because I know absolutely nothing. Thanks.
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  1. Well, in my experience, I naively believed what everyone said including boys, because I was being sincere and thought (or expected) that other people were sincere too. But it turns out that people lie. So do not believe everything they say, especially people of the opposite sex.
  2. Some, not all, believe in the phrase "If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.” . So please be aware of wolves dressed as sheep.
  3. Dress modestly, because most college guys live scanning girls from head to toe.
  4. A man won’t cross the line unless you allow it. Keep that in mind.
 
DaveBj said:
When it comes to relationships, look for a guy who acts like a gentleman and treats you like a lady. In the process, be sure that you act like a lady and treat the guy like a gentleman.
Click to expand...
I second this.
 
redbetta said:
Background: I’m an 18-year old girl who is starting college in September who has attended an all-girls high school for all four years and has not had any contact with males outside my immediate family and none that are around my age. Tell me everything I need to know so that I can be prepared because I know absolutely nothing. Thanks.
Click to expand...
Go read the archives at Seraphic Singles and Edinburgh Housewife. And consider getting her book on single women.

I don’t agree 100% with all of her views, but she has a lot of good advice. Also, she came out of an all-girls high school, so some of her experiences may resonate with you.
 
If a guy asks me out, should I accept at least a first (appropriate) date or should I only accept such an offer from someone I am already familiar with/spoken to before? Should I find out if he is Catholic before going out on a date?

Also, what do I do in response to inappropriate comments/harassment?
 
BlueEyedLady said:
They’re people, just like you.

I can’t tell you anything about them because they’re all different.
Click to expand...
Right.

Also, I haven’t quite caught up with the thread, but don’t be blabbing around if you’re a virgin. Private information is private. As the lady at Seraphic Singles would say, people that aren’t your doctor or your fiance aren’t entitled to that information.

Also, discretion (knowing what information to share with whom) is very close to being a virtue. Proverbs 11:22 says, “Like a gold ring in a swine’s snout is a beautiful woman without discretion.” And if a person demands inappropriate personal information from you, it’s a sign that they lack discretion, and hence it’s doubly important not to share personal information with them.
 
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