Tell me what you think about this situation

[PoenasDare]

Okay, something has been bothering me and I wanted to get some advice. I was in a bad situation about 7 or so months ago and it has been on my mind. I am living in a foreign country then my own and I was with about 3 friends one night and we were out drinking very late into the morning. After leaving the bar, my friends and I were going to go eat something and then go home when a fight broke out. Some words were traded and then my friends started fighting these native guys. Actually, my friends are all natives of the country too. I had a very small part in this all. I didn’t want to fight and I did not hit anyone. At the start of the fight, one of the guys basically walked right into me backwards and my friend told me to hold him so without even really thinking I held the guy while my friend hit him and then I let go and I was a little shocked. I didn’t do anything else after that and the cops came and my friends all ran. I was caught by the police but I was able to escape and run away because they left me alone while investigating something. I was a little drunk and scared of being caught in a foreign country when I didn’t even do anything so I ran. I got away. One of my friends who was fighting was caught and he ended up having to pay some fine.

Long story short, I stopped hanging out with them because I didn’t want to be in that kind of a situation again, I really regretted what happened and I went to confession but I am worried about this thing. Is there more I should do? I don’t think going to the police would do anything, i think this situation would just waste their time but why does it bother me? I have changed my life and don’t do those sorts of things anymore. What do you think?

 

[passus]

While your will to do so is meritorious, it would likely be a matter of grave inconvenience on your part as well as the law enforcement on the other end to make good on a situation that happened 7 months ago and may or may not have been documented, especially with this all having transpired in a different country–the justice system of which you are unfamiliar with and could potentially put you or your life in danger if you were to proceed improperly.

If you have gone to Confession then you have been forgiven of your sin and are not obligated to do anything else! If it would make you feel better, however, you can try doing as an act of penance community service work as a volunteer, perhaps at a local Catholic apostolate or charity.

God bless you.

 

[ohioszo]

Long story short, I stopped hanging out with them because I didn’t want to be in that kind of a situation again, I really regretted what happened and I went to confession but I am worried about this thing. Is there more I should do? I don’t think going to the police would do anything, i think this situation would just waste their time but why does it bother me? I have changed my life and don’t do those sorts of things anymore. What do you think?

You might ask the Priest that you went to confession to, if you should contact the police … or if you are a minor, ask your parents. If they have your name, it could be a record against you.

You must start to have a close friendship with God rather than relying on others who either lead you astray, or, who you are dependent on for prayer … Some people who lead imperfect Christian lives have family members who are Priests or Nuns!

Pray as if the world depended on your prayer.

PS You didn’t have to hold the person, or you might have pushed the person away and taken that punch yourself! Just like when Paul fell off the horse, people need physical wakeup calls, not just guilty consciences.

If you become an alcoholic over this, it would be sad. Alcohol takes away the pain for a short time. Find out why you drink. What is wrong in your life, etc.

 

[Sister_G]

We all do things we wish we had not done. You did the right thing by going to Confession. Give the rest of it to Him also. You cannot change what happened, but as you rightly said, you have changed. Most likely that was the desired effect. When these things happen in our lives we have several choices. We can keep doing the things and become even more numb or we can reject the wrong and seek conversion, which is what it sounds like you have done - Thank God!!! Don’t let the devil put doubt in your mind about God’s forgiveness. However, as stated by another member, if the guilt you feel is so relentless then do some act of charity and God will bless it. God be with you!

 

[Junebug999]

Talk to the priest – that sounds like a good thing to set your mind at rest.

 

[PoenasDare]

That is impossible since the priest does not speak English.

The Police do not have my name nor do they even know anything about me. They saw me of course but they would think I looked like any other foreigner.

Sigh, I dont understand some of the responses. I said I changed my life since then. No where did I say I became an alcoholic. I rarely ever drink alcohol and I do not meet with those friends anymore. I have not put myself in any sort of situation like that since then and I know what I did was wrong and I should have done differently. I can’t change what I did then. I am a completely different person now.

 

[LittleOne1]

I would say that in the scheme of things what police have to deal with and the fact your crime is not something severe like robbing or murder, you trying to contact foreign police would more be a headache for them and their justice system then really helping them. If those people were not seriously hurt and sent to the hospital for care I think you having gone to confession should be sufficient and you learned an important life lesson about who to associate with and to avoid such situations in the future.

Unless your confessor told you at the time that as part of your penance you should turn yourself in (which I dont think can be a penance), then I would say do not stress about it, but instead do some type of prayer or mortification for those who were hurt and ask God to have mercy on them and you. That will be of more value then trying to alert the police to a petty crime where serving time or paying a fine will do little to help those hurt. Only if there were hospital bills or severe injury would i think monetary payment to the victims need to be made if possible.

 

[Jsmith17]

How did you confess if the priest doesn’t speak english?

 

[puzzleannie]

I have changed my life and don’t do those sorts of things anymore. What do you think?

I think that is great, and that staying out of bars in foreign countries is a great idea. So is choosing better friends a great idea. If you are asking should you turn yourselves into the police, no, you did no crime, what would be the point? If they had wanted you they would have gotten you at that time.

 

[PoenasDare]

Jsmith, it is not required for the priest to speak English to hear my confession. I was told to write down my confession on paper and hand it to the priest and even if he could not understand it all, it would be sufficient.

 

[NPS]

Okay, something has been bothering me and I wanted to get some advice. I was in a bad situation about 7 or so months ago and it has been on my mind. I am living in a foreign country then my own and I was with about 3 friends one night and we were out drinking very late into the morning. After leaving the bar, my friends and I were going to go eat something and then go home when a fight broke out. Some words were traded and then my friends started fighting these native guys. Actually, my friends are all natives of the country too. I had a very small part in this all. I didn’t want to fight and I did not hit anyone. At the start of the fight, one of the guys basically walked right into me backwards and my friend told me to hold him so without even really thinking I held the guy while my friend hit him and then I let go and I was a little shocked. I didn’t do anything else after that and the cops came and my friends all ran. I was caught by the police but I was able to escape and run away because they left me alone while investigating something. I was a little drunk and scared of being caught in a foreign country when I didn’t even do anything so I ran. I got away. One of my friends who was fighting was caught and he ended up having to pay some fine.

Long story short, I stopped hanging out with them because I didn’t want to be in that kind of a situation again, I really regretted what happened and I went to confession but I am worried about this thing. Is there more I should do? I don’t think going to the police would do anything, i think this situation would just waste their time but why does it bother me? I have changed my life and don’t do those sorts of things anymore. What do you think?

Seems to me the only question is: Did you make a good confession?

It sounds as if you did—so at some point you have to trust in the sacrament and move on.

It also sounds like the remorse and contrition did it’s job—you’ve gotten yourself out of that lifestyle.

If you are asking if you should go to the police–They surely have more to do than bother with this. All you would likely be doing is setting yourself up for a hassle, paperwork, and a mordita.

You say your friend who did more than you got a fine. So we know that at most you deserve a smaller fine than him. If you still feel the need, make a donation to charity in an appropriate amount.

Trust in the sacrament is trust in God.

 

[The_Stig]

Totally willing to be over-ruled here…but isn’t our submission to secular authority predicated on a reasonable faith that said authority will be honest and fair with us?