Tell the priest about acquaintance going to comunion though in an invalid marriage?

[mdgspencer]

My wife is rather troubled about whether to tell the parish priest about the woman she knows who goes to communion though she married a divorced man in civil ceremony. The man was divorced twice in fact. My wie is disturbed about this situation since this woman is putting a great sin on her soul by going to communion. So I though I would ask here and show my wife the advice people post here. My wife courageously has talked with this woman and said she should not go to communion and my wife too has recommended that she try to straighten out her situation and have a Catholic marriage. But the woman rejects everything that my wife has said.

 

[kage_ar]

Scripture is where Jesus tells us how to deal with these situations (ain’t God great that He thought of these things!) In the Gospel of Matthew, chapter 18:

"15 "If your brother sins (against you), go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have won over your brother. 16 If he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, so that ‘every fact may be established on the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell the church. If he refuses to listen even to the church, then treat him as you would a Gentile or a tax collector. "

 

[MrsMeganMc]

I don’t understand why people get so involved with things like this…

When my husband and I were “getting our act together” over the past few months - it had been years since his last confession. I knew a lot of the mortal sins on his soul - yet he was still receiving communion. During a private discussion with my priest, I asked him his opinion. I told him how uncomfortable the situation made me - as I did not know what the right thing to do was. Should I say something to my husband or allow him to continue? My priest’s response was so clear and genuine - he told me that in these situations, we should do what we believe will bring the person closer to God.

I know that if I went to my husband, told him how sinful he was being - that this would likely turn his heart away from God and His Church. With a lot of prayer, gentle nudging, and patience - my husband did go to confession and I knew in my heart that I did the right thing. It was all in God’s time.

Do you think that running to the priest, and telling him that someone is receiving communion unworthily is going to bring this person closer to or further from God? You have already brought this to her attention - what would telling the priest do?

 

[Tezza]

I’m really glad to hear your wife went and spoke with the woman first before considering going to the priest. On so many occasions, people fail to give others that respect.

I asked Patrick Madrid that question once (Search and Rescue, Pope Fiction) and his reply was, “If a bridge was out and you saw a car heading towards it, about to plummet into the river, would you wave them down and stop them?”

Since then, as hard as it is, I have instructed many on the Church teachings regarding Communion (with a charitable spirit) and, for the most part, people were ignorant about the protocol (visiting non-Catholics) and were happy to comply. I understand this is not the case with the woman in the OP.

We all want to protect others from receiving the Lord unworthily. I would think your wife could ask the priest the question in a hypothetical way to see what his reponse would be.

“Father, if someone is receiving the Eucharist even though they are in an invalid marriage, how should one proceed?”

If he opens the door to be told and your wife informs him (he may already know), then I think you can honestly say it is out of your hands and to commend the person to God’s mercy (we should do that anyway). Most of all, let it go! Otherwise, you will be driven insane every time you see her go to Communion.

Peace.

 

[Schluns]

Your wife has planted the seed. As frustrating as it is, now is the time to pray and wait for it to grow.

 

[chiibug]

I would have told your wife to mind her own business from the beginning. And telling the priest would be in bad taste in my opinion. In fact, it would come across as catty.

The issue is between her and God.

 

[Cominghome89]

The issue is indeed between her and God, but more than likely this woman does not feel that her receiving of Holy Communion is wrong or incorrect, when in fact it is. If she is unwilling to listen, perhaps a priest’s explanation is the only way for her to see her sin.

Minding one’s own business does not spread the glory and grace of God. His message and his truth were meant to be shared, and if someone is going against God’s truth, it is our duty as Catholic Christians to help them see the truth they are missing. We are here to spread love, not to condemn and punish.

Keeping quiet is definitely the easy, socially acceptable answer. But, how often does being a Catholic mean making easy, socially acceptable choices?

 

[Jenny_Z]

Your wife has planted the seed. As frustrating as it is, now is the time to pray and wait for it to grow.

Well said.

 

[Schluns]

Well said.

Thank you.

 

[chiibug]

The issue is indeed between her and God, but more than likely this woman does not feel that her receiving of Holy Communion is wrong or incorrect, when in fact it is. If she is unwilling to listen, perhaps a priest’s explanation is the only way for her to see her sin.

Minding one’s own business does not spread the glory and grace of God. His message and his truth were meant to be shared, and if someone is going against God’s truth, it is our duty as Catholic Christians to help them see the truth they are missing. We are here to spread love, not to condemn and punish.

Keeping quiet is definitely the easy, socially acceptable answer. But, how often does being a Catholic mean making easy, socially acceptable choices?

If the issue was already addressed, and the woman didn’t heed the warning, that’s on her. “Tattling” to the priest isn’t OP’s wife’s job.

I’d be curious to know how often the she felt it was her duty to “rebuke” her fellow parishioners.

 

[happymommy]

If the issue was already addressed, and the woman didn’t heed the warning, that’s on her. “Tattling” to the priest isn’t OP’s wife’s job.

I’d be curious to know how often the she felt it was her duty to “rebuke” her fellow parishioners.

I always tell my children not to tattle unless it is something really big. I would think that concern over the soul of a fellow parishioner is pretty big.

 

[chiibug]

I always tell my children not to tattle unless it is something really big. I would think that concern over the soul of a fellow parishioner is pretty big.

The OP used the term “woman she knows”. Not friend, just someone whose business she happens to know. Getting involved is nosy, tacky and rude.

Is she going to go running to the priest every time someone misses Sunday Mass and receives Communion? Or if she overhears them drop a GD bomb? Or if she knows that a married couple is having trouble with the husband viewing porn, and he receives Communion?

Again:
Not.
Her.
Place.

 

[happymommy]

The OP used the term “woman she knows”. Not friend, just someone whose business she happens to know. Getting involved is nosy, tacky and rude.

Is she going to go running to the priest every time someone misses Sunday Mass and receives Communion? Or if she overhears them drop a GD bomb? Or if she knows that a married couple is having trouble with the husband viewing porn, and he receives Communion?

Again:
Not.
Her.
Place.

Oh, I see. It’s like the neighbor who knows the wife next door gets beat up at least once a week, but it’s none of her business…right?

 

[chiibug]

Oh, I see. It’s like the neighbor who knows the wife next door gets beat up at least once a week, but it’s none of her business…right?

Yeah, because nosing around in someone else’s sins is the equivalent of letting someone get away with spousal abuse

Anyone who feels the need to point out to the priest who and who isn’t in a state of mortal sin needs to do some major soul searching of their own.

It sounds to me more like a case of one woman trying to “out-holy” another…

 

[happymommy]

Yeah, because nosing around in someone else’s sins is the equivalent of letting someone get away with spousal abuse

Anyone who feels the need to point out to the priest who and who isn’t in a state of mortal sin needs to do some major soul searching of their own.

It sounds to me more like a case of one woman trying to “out-holy” another…

I think a person’s soul going to hell is just as important as helping someone with abuse! If you are going to ignore one, chances are you will ignore the other!

I think that if we know someone is in a state of mortal sin, that we should try to help them. Not turn our back. Esp. if it is just that they have been mistaught or are misinformed. If they won’t listen to us, then we need to get someone they will listen to. Not just ignore it and say oh well, guess they will regret it someday. Good thing I only worry about me and my sins…just like Jesus

 

[chiibug]

I think a person’s soul going to hell is just as important as helping someone with abuse! If you are going to ignore one, chances are you will ignore the other!

I think that if we know someone is in a state of mortal sin, that we should try to help them. Not turn our back. Esp. if it is just that they have been mistaught or are misinformed. If they won’t listen to us, then we need to get someone they will listen to. Not just ignore it and say oh well, guess they will regret it someday. Good thing I only worry about me and my sins…just like Jesus

The issue is whether or not she should go to the priest, dear. the sin has already been pointed out to her. The woman is an adult, an will make adult decisions on her own.
Pointing out someone else’s mortal sins to the priest is no one’s place.

Why does she know so much about this poor woman’s business anyway? It sounds like she has a habit of putting her nose where it doesn’t belong.

 

[chiibug]

I think a person’s soul going to hell is just as important as helping someone with abuse! If you are going to ignore one, chances are you will ignore the other!

You can’t be serious… So we should all go around point out when other people sin? That’s ridiculous. That’s not what God wants us to do.

I’d hate to see the plank in your eye.

 

[jmcrae]

My wife is rather troubled about whether to tell the parish priest about the woman she knows who goes to communion though she married a divorced man in civil ceremony. The man was divorced twice in fact. My wie is disturbed about this situation since this woman is putting a great sin on her soul by going to communion. So I though I would ask here and show my wife the advice people post here. My wife courageously has talked with this woman and said she should not go to communion and my wife too has recommended that she try to straighten out her situation and have a Catholic marriage. But the woman rejects everything that my wife has said.

First, I am assuming that your wife wants to tell the priest, so that the priest can help this woman to resolve her situation; not because she wants to be a tattle-tale.

There was a similar situation in my parish not long ago; a woman was in a situation and was obviously not aware that it was a bad one. I mentioned to the priest in passing that some people in the parish are experiencing this situation. (I did not name names.) It was mentioned at the next Bible study class in a general way, that such a situation needs to be corrected before the parties involved may receive Holy Communion. After the Bible study was over, I saw the woman approach the priest for a private conversation, and later on she mentioned to me that it was a God-send that he had happened to mention that particular item at the Bible study, since she had had no idea about her situation.

She is now correcting her situation, and no one has been embarrassed or put on the defensive.

 

[Newbie2]

I think that if we know someone is in a state of mortal sin, that we should try to help them. Not turn our back. Esp. if it is just that they have been mistaught or are misinformed. If they won’t listen to us, then we need to get someone they will listen to. Not just ignore it and say oh well, guess they will regret it someday. Good thing I only worry about me and my sins…just like Jesus

I think in this situation, as has been said, the seed has been planted. One has really no business taking it any further than that. If ratting out others that we think are in mortal sin (perhaps this acquaintance has gone to confession, and is struggling with this sin, that’s between them and the Almighty), and it’s as serious a matter as one’s soul, then we should be actively looking for those in mortal sin so we can help them, no? Perhaps a camera in the kid’s bathroom to see if they’re masturbating? After all, their soul could be in grave danger. Just how far does this logic extend??

The issue is whether or not she should go to the priest, dear. the sin has already been pointed out to her. The woman is an adult, an will make adult decisions on her own.
Pointing out someone else’s mortal sins to the priest is no one’s place.
.

Not to mention only this woman and (a) priest might know if she’s confessed the sin and is perhaps struggling to reconcile her situation.

 

[Brendan]

Your wife has planted the seed. As frustrating as it is, now is the time to pray and wait for it to grow.

Good point, and since St. James tells us that the prayer of a righteous man is powerful, she should tell the priest about it so he can pray too.