Telling Mom to Back Off

[Feanaro_s_Wife]

Children are a gift from God. So it stands to reason that grandchildren are also gifts. Isn’t it very rude to ask when someone will be giving you a gift? Maybe a tactfully worded response to her encompassing this thought might get her to back off? Probably not, but I tried:shrug:

 

[surfinpure]

Thank you! I should have just waited for you to post. It’s not that grandparents shouldn’t have an interest in their future grandkids, it’s that they should be respectful of their children and not bring it up all the time.

Absolutely. Respect ought to go both ways. In Christian society, if one member is disrespectful, the other still has to show that member respect. But it is never disrespectful to ask for respect. This mother may be acting disrespectfully toward her children, but if she is treated with honor when approached, she is much more likely to reciprocate, and then everybody wins. :yup:

 

[Catherine_W]

I’m strongly of the belief that people should have kids because they want to have kids, not because somebody is pressuring them into doing so. The opposite should be equally true. You shouldn’t be pressured into not having kids because somebody else thinks it wouldn’t be prudent.

Can I be as intrusive to ask what your career is? I’d be willing to bet that having kids will be as detrimental to your career now as it will be 5 years from now. It’ll never be “the right time”, but if you do it on your terms, when you want to, things will probably work out easier for you.

Don’t worry… I won’t let my mom pressure me into not having children… it’s just more annoying, but I will not let it influence me.

Oh and don’t worry, you’re not intrusive… actually I don’t really know if you could say I have a career yet… last year I graduated with my BS in Biomedical Science and I went straight from that into getting my Masters in Public Health… so I have some education, but not much work experience yet (and I still have one more year of grad school left). Actually, my mom’s dream is for me to be a doctor… she has always wanted me to go to medical school or get a PhD… so that’s what she wants me to get before I start having children. But I am leaning more towards, staying at home with our future children, and I am not really passionate about becoming a doctor. So really, I think it comes down to my mom not understanding that I am an adult… so maybe my situation is pretty different than yours. (sorry if I am getting this tread off topic).

 

[monicatholic]

OP your reason for waiting-- that Baby and Dad have a relationship from the start-- is a valid reason. If I’m reading it right, it sounds like your mom was sort of buggy about the wedding date and is now so about the baby timing. Sounds like she might have just a TON of unwanted baby advice, too. Sounds like boundaries time.

You’d mentioned crying wolf. My advice-- don’t be cagey. be clear: ***Mom, I love you lots, but back off. ***

I’m a grandmother, too.

I didn’t asked my son and daughter in law when baby is coming. My son even wondered out loud why I wasn’t asking. I told him because it was between them and God.

 

[KCtheMommy]

OP your reason for waiting-- that Baby and Dad have a relationship from the start-- is a valid reason. If I’m reading it right, it sounds like your mom was sort of buggy about the wedding date and is now so about the baby timing. Sounds like she might have just a TON of unwanted baby advice, too. Sounds like boundaries time.

You’d mentioned crying wolf. My advice-- don’t be cagey. be clear: ***Mom, I love you lots, but back off. ***

**I’m a grandmother, too.

I didn’t asked my son and daughter in law when baby is coming. My son even wondered out loud why I wasn’t asking. I told him because it was between them and God**.

Yeah – but you rock. Not all mothers ROCK.