Telling Non- Catholic relatives they cannot receive Communion at our wedding

[Lutheranteach]

I can say it can be a big issue for some. It is one of the reasons my wife and I were not married in the Catholic Church. It may be less than a big deal for some or even most. But for a few, it will be a major issue and something that will hurt them deeply.

 

[tinalewis]

I’m sure saying that would go a long way for family harmony. “Tough Rocks, Auntie May, tough rocks”.

What a line - it’s doubtful Auntie May would have a ready response.

Of course there is a way to all but eliminate the problem. When my husband and I were married in the Catholic church, we had only Catholics at our wedding . . . ahhhhh! It was *fabulous! * Eliminated any concern, need for announcements, anxiety, etc.

 

[KateD]

I conduct the wedding rehearsals at my parish, and we normally will tell those in attendance that they may come up with their arms crossed for a blessing from Father if they are not receiving. However, that provides the information only to those attending the rehearsal. In order to explain this to all in attendance at the wedding, I certainly think it is a good idea to have Father explain that Holy Communion is not open to all and that they are most welcome to receive a blessing.

Unfortunately, we too have several non-Catholics receiving regularly at my parish - including the spouse and other relatives of an EMHC who knows better.

 

[redrosetea]

I’m sure saying that would go a long way for family harmony. “Tough Rocks, Auntie May, tough rocks”.

You are probably right but if these people were intersted in harmony they wouldn’t be making demands of the bride and the church that are forbidden to them…It cuts both ways.

 

[Shin]

Sometimes people need to be told “Tough Rocks, Auntie May, tough rocks”.

And impressed that you don’t commit sacrilege at your relatives wedding to prove your wrongheaded ideals.

 

[redrosetea]

Sometimes people need to be told “Tough Rocks, Auntie May, tough rocks”.

I volunteer shin to tell her! Just think he can get all the blame

 

[Shin]

I volunteer shin to tell her! Just think he can get all the blame

Oh boy… LOL.

 

[redrosetea]

Oh boy… LOL.

I knew that would get a quick response…

 

[Marie5890]

The “easiest” way I have found when addressing such is to tell them that it really wouldn’t be appropriate since they are not “in communion” with the Catholic Church.

I think that is an element that people forget sometimes. Not only is it receiving the Eurcharist but it is an outword expression of being “in communion” with the teachings of the Church…

Like I said, that is the “easiest” …emphasis on the quotation marks…that I have found without (hopefully) causing any deep problems

 

[Shin]

I knew that would get a quick response…

LOL.

Somehow I get the impression this lady isn’t quite the same as the sweet, frail, and little as the old Auntie May Spidey had.

I’m getting a more SWMBO image here.

 

[redrosetea]

She might have bricks in her handbag to clout people with…Better wear a helmet when you tell her…

 

[bostonboy23]

this is a fairly simple question not sure why it has 30 responses. the very simple answer to this question is NO!! anyone who is not a catholic is NOT allowed to receive communion. i don’t care what priest bishop or crazy wacko says a non catholic can NEVER receive the body of our lord. not only is this a sin against God it is a grave sin against the church and also why would they want to receive anyway? most people don’t even understand communion so why would someone who has no idea want to have it in the first place? so this is what you tell your family they are not allowed to receive communion unless they want to be on the receiving end of grave sin. also i would tell the priest that some members of your family are not catholic and should not receive.

 

[peary]

So, this Christmas I met my fiance’s family and the question that we had been wondering how to handle came up. My fiance’s Episcopalian Aunt decided to grace us with her view of how unfair it is that non-Catholics cannot receive Communion. She said in her words " That is wonderful, now just do not do that Catholic blanket thing and say that non-Catholics cannot receive Communion." I was like…Oh please do not let us get into this argument on Christmas! Thank goodness her husband came and changed the topic…but it presented us with the problem again.

In the past few years I spent time at a place where a nice statement was read before each Mass that non Catholics could not receive Communion…but were invited to make a spiritual Communion. My fiance is not to keen on us making an announcement and wants to talk to each family member about why they cannot receive before the wedding. I am okay with that, but I doubt it is going to do much good. I just want to state before the Mass that it they cannot using the same format as the Catholic Bishops have suggested and that was used at the Shrine where I used to go to mass. He is afraid of the backlash…I could care less. I mean, this is Our Lord and there is no way anyone is going to receive Him who should not while I am around. I will do whatever it takes to protect the Blessed Sacrament…but do you all have any suggestions? Have any of you been in this same situation?

Have the priest make the announcement before the distribution of Communion. It can be done quite tactfully and nonCatholics usually understand. the both of you don’t have to say anything, so, that leaves you off the hook.

 

[Seatuck]

this is a fairly simple question not sure why it has 30 responses. the very simple answer to this question is NO!! anyone who is not a catholic is NOT allowed to receive communion. i don’t care what priest bishop or crazy wacko says a non catholic can NEVER receive the body of our lord. not only is this a sin against God it is a grave sin against the church and also why would they want to receive anyway? most people don’t even understand communion so why would someone who has no idea want to have it in the first place? so this is what you tell your family they are not allowed to receive communion unless they want to be on the receiving end of grave sin. also i would tell the priest that some members of your family are not catholic and should not receive.

Did you read the OP? She didn’t ask a Yes or No question. She asked a how do I go about this question.What do you suggest question.

So, this Christmas I met my fiance’s family and the question that we had been wondering how to handle came up. My fiance’s Episcopalian Aunt decided to grace us with her view of how unfair it is that non-Catholics cannot receive Communion. She said in her words " That is wonderful, now just do not do that Catholic blanket thing and say that non-Catholics cannot receive Communion." I was like…Oh please do not let us get into this argument on Christmas! Thank goodness her husband came and changed the topic…but it presented us with the problem again.

In the past few years I spent time at a place where a nice statement was read before each Mass that non Catholics could not receive Communion…but were invited to make a spiritual Communion. My fiance is not to keen on us making an announcement and wants to talk to each family member about why they cannot receive before the wedding. I am okay with that, but I doubt it is going to do much good. I just want to state before the Mass that it they cannot using the same format as the Catholic Bishops have suggested and that was used at the Shrine where I used to go to mass. He is afraid of the backlash…I could care less. I mean, this is Our Lord and there is no way anyone is going to receive Him who should not while I am around. I will do whatever it takes to protect the Blessed Sacrament…but do you all have any suggestions? Have any of you been in this same situation?

 

[Seatuck]

I conduct the wedding rehearsals at my parish, and we normally will tell those in attendance that they may come up with their arms crossed for a blessing from Father if they are not receiving. However, that provides the information only to those attending the rehearsal. In order to explain this to all in attendance at the wedding, I certainly think it is a good idea to have Father explain that Holy Communion is not open to all and that they are most welcome to receive a blessing.

Unfortunately, we too have several non-Catholics receiving regularly at my parish - including the spouse and other relatives of an EMHC who knows better.

The problem with the blessing thing is that the church hasn’t given permission for that to happen. In fact in recent times this has been discouraged as Communion Time is for Communion and Blessing Time is for Blessings.

 

[benedictgal]

I conduct the wedding rehearsals at my parish, and we normally will tell those in attendance that they may come up with their arms crossed for a blessing from Father if they are not receiving. However, that provides the information only to those attending the rehearsal. In order to explain this to all in attendance at the wedding, I certainly think it is a good idea to have Father explain that Holy Communion is not open to all and that they are most welcome to receive a blessing.

Unfortunately, we too have several non-Catholics receiving regularly at my parish - including the spouse and other relatives of an EMHC who knows better.

With all due respect, this is very bad advice, in light of the statement that the Congregation for Divine Worship and the Discipline of the Sacraments released back in November 2008:

1. The liturgical blessing of the Holy Mass is properly given to each and to all at the conclusion of the Mass, just a few moments subsequent to the distribution of Holy Communion.

1. Lay people, within the context of Holy Mass, are unable to confer blessings. These blessings, rather, are the competence of the priest (cf. Ecclesia de Mysterio, Notitiae 34 (15 Aug. 1997), art. 6, § 2; Canon 1169, § 2; and Roman Ritual De Benedictionibus (1985), n. 18).

1. Furthermore, the laying on of a hand or hands — which has its own sacramental significance, inappropriate here — by those distributing Holy Communion, in substitution for its reception, is to be explicitly discouraged.

1. The Apostolic Exhortation Familiaris Consortio n. 84, “forbids any pastor, for whatever reason to pretext even of a pastoral nature, to perform ceremonies of any kind for divorced people who remarry”. To be feared is that any form of blessing in substitution for communion would give the impression that the divorced and remarried have been returned, in some sense, to the status of Catholics in good standing.

**5. In a similar way, for others who are not to be admitted to Holy Communion in accord with the norm of law, the Church’s discipline has already made clear that they should not approach Holy Communion nor receive a blessing. This would include non-Catholics **and those envisaged in can. 915 (i.e., those under the penalty of excommunication or interdict, and others who obstinately persist in manifest grave sin).

Observation #5 specifically refers to non-Catholics. Thus, I, with all due respect, I believe that, in light of this statement, your guidelines need to be revised in order to conform with what the CDWDDS has already noted.

 

[zab]

The best thing you can do is to explain the situation to the priest. Let him know that not only will non-Catholics be in attendance, but also that some of them reject the Church’s belief as to who can receive. I wouldn’t suggest putting it in the program, because people either won’t read it, or will ignore it. Let the priest handle making an announcement at some appropriate time. If people hear it from the priest himself, they will be less likely to ignore it. In other words they might think “not only is it in the program, but the priest means it when he says it.” Doing it this way also “insulates” you in a certain way from criticism. Those who have a problem with it can complain to the priest who made the announcement, rather than to you who put it in the program.

Bring it up to the priest, but let him handle it. He’ll know what to do, and how to do it.