Telling someone to be quiet during Mass

[reff]

To me, this is a hospitality issue.

I think I am interpreting this correctly–the OP said that the two young men were Hispanic?

Couldn’t it be possible that one was translating for the other?

This would mean, of course, that both gentleman were totally committed to not only listening to the Mass, but understanding it as well. That would be participating in the Mass at a very high involvement level, probably more so than many other “quiet” people who are actually zoned out completely from Mass.

I agree, it’s too bad that they had to be so loud about it. But perhaps the one listening has a hearing impairment. Or perhaps they just aren’t good at “whispering.” It would be best if they could use the church’s “cry room” in the future so that they could talk without disturbing others. But maybe they don’t know that the church has a cry room (are there “cry rooms” in Hispanic nations?) Or maybe the church doesn’t have a cry room–too bad.

When my daughters were young and I brought them into the worship service with me (Protestant), I would talk to them throughout the service and explain what was happening. We usually sat in the front off to the side to try to avoid disturbing people.

That’s the way people learn–through someone “translating” or “interpreting” for them.

Does anyone get upset when the translator for the hearing- impaired stands right up near the front of the church and TALKS with his/her hands? Of course not.

So why get upset when someone who does not speak English as a first language is trying to learn the Mass in English?

The U.S. is becoming more and more diverse and lots of people who do not speak English are moving here and trying to learn English and become assimilated into American life. Let’s help them out, not tell them to be quiet.

I suspect the two men will give up on English Masses in the future and just go to the Hispanic Mass. Would this be best for everyone?

Yes they were hispanic and so am I, but no one was not translating for the other. They were just having a conversation, i liked what several of you said about just turning around and placing your finger on your lips. That would’ve made the message just as clear, and i know the two young men would have stopped talking.

 

[Miserissima]

She did what I would have, but maybe in a little different way. I might have responded in stages, a look first, then a finger to the lips, last a few words.

I second this. Do you remember, as a child, all you needed was the “hairy eyeball” and you knew what might (or would) be coming after Mass? I sure do.

I heard one of them make a comment to the other in Spanish, he said “Sure talk down to the two Mexicans like we’re losers.”

What bothers me is that the two, uh, gentlemen responded with a stronger reaction, because they were shamed. They brought in race/ethnicity/nationality, which truly defies the concept of “Catholic = Universal.” That hurts me, and I have meditate on why.

What does poor behavior have to do with a race/ethnicity/culture/nationalty? Nonsense. Do I make the generalization that one person represents an entire race? No. Grr, gets me a little upset.

(I can’t wait until we’re beings in the life of the world to come. Then we can leave that nonsense at the Pearly Gates. Sheesh.)

The two young men were embarrassed, and I could tell because they wouldn’t even sing or respond to the “Lord be with you’s”. Just some food for thought. Tell me your opinion.

You mean that they stopped talking altogether? How strange…that’s like cutting off your nose to spite your face. It’s counter-productive.

About what time in the Mass did the lady say something to the young men?

(Conjecture here Do you think the men would have reacted differently if the lady was Mexican, too?

If you are chatting away during mass, you have no right to the Eucharist,

I don’t think anyone has the “right,” or entitlement, to receive, but that the highest privelege that the Catholics have is this Sacrament. However, I will agree that unworthy reception of the Eucharist is a grave sin.

 

[Rita88]

Hi, I’m part of the choir in my church, and sit next to a dear lady (who is significantly older than me… I’m 19 and I’m guessing she’s around 70y.o)

She is a lovely, friendly woman, who is reverent in her own way… I am very reverent too… but she often talks during the church notices and other quiet times, and I don’t want to be rude to her, but the quire are next to the priest (or at least altos and basses are) and we’re altos so thus the closest.

I find it, largely innappropriate to talk in this manner in the church, but I don’t want to cause any trauma in my church, since some of the parishioners can be very fickle…

any kind suggestions?

I’d like to pray in peace…

(oh and I can’t actually leave my assigned seat to sit somewhere else either)

Peace, love, and every blessing

xxx

 

[Rita88]

Hi, I’m part of the choir in my church, and sit next to a dear lady (who is significantly older than me… I’m 19 and I’m guessing she’s around 70y.o)

She is a lovely, friendly woman, who is reverent in her own way… I am very reverent too… but she often talks during the church notices and other quiet times, and I don’t want to be rude to her, but the quire are next to the priest (or at least altos and basses are) and we’re altos so thus the closest.

I find it, largely innappropriate to talk in this manner in the church, but I don’t want to cause any trauma in my church, since some of the parishioners can be very fickle…

any kind suggestions?

I’d like to pray in peace…

(oh and I can’t actually leave my assigned seat to sit somewhere else either)

Peace, love, and every blessing

xxx

 

[dconklin]

We have a little reminder in our bulletin stating the sanctuary is a place of prayer and worship and to leave discussions for the narthex or front walk.

 

[SwizzleStick]

… It would be best if they could use the church’s “cry room” in the future so that they could talk without disturbing others.

Though this is a bit off topic, I disagree with this completely because talking in the cry room during the Mass DOES disturb others. General talking in a cry room is not the answer either. Perhaps the whole problem is that people are not reverent and need to remember they are at Mass? I posted the following comments on a thread about disruptive kids in Church:

“… I used to hate using the cry room at church. I feel a cry room is there for use of parents with very young children who are disruptive during Mass. I think one should take their child there if their child is disruptive during Mass, that they should quiet the child and then return to church. I do not feel that the cry room is a playroom where one should stay the entire Mass (unless the child is very young). When my 5-year old was younger, I used to find it maddening to take him out of church to go in the cry room to quiet and settle him down only to find other parents in there using the cry room as a play room and Mass time as playtime. They would be playing with the children, reading to them aloud, playing with toys, and generally behaving in ways that would not help a child learn proper behaviors in Mass. Some of the parents seemed to forget that we are there to attend Mass and their behavior made it nearly impossible for other parents in the cry room with them to pay attention to the Mass properly (or at all). Thank goodness I stopped having to use the cry room by the time my youngest was about 3 because he saw a lot of bad habits and unacceptable behavior in there.”

 

[Tietjen]

Hi, I’m part of the choir in my church, and sit next to a dear lady (who is significantly older than me… I’m 19 and I’m guessing she’s around 70y.o)

She is a lovely, friendly woman, who is reverent in her own way… I am very reverent too… but she often talks during the church notices and other quiet times, and I don’t want to be rude to her, but the quire are next to the priest (or at least altos and basses are) and we’re altos so thus the closest.

I find it, largely innappropriate to talk in this manner in the church, but I don’t want to cause any trauma in my church, since some of the parishioners can be very fickle…

any kind suggestions?

I’d like to pray in peace…

(oh and I can’t actually leave my assigned seat to sit somewhere else either)

Peace, love, and every blessing

xxx

There are two ways to handle this, the direct way and the indirect way. You can either speak to her after Mass or respectfully and politely explain to her the situation or you can simply ignore her and stay focused at Mass. Personally, I prefer the direct approach. God bless.

 

[NPC]

What about mentioning this matter to the Director of Music? If the director agrees with you, perhaps he could raise the issue at rehearsal sometime. A good way to get the choir to stop talking is to remind them that when they are singing near the sanctuary area, they are very much on show and can be seen by the whole congregation - there are very few things which are so unprofessional as seeing members of the choir talking away during Mass… So, I expect if the choir director would gently remind the whole choir about this, the lady (and others) would stop talking - this way, there may not be any need to single-out the lady on this issue.

 

[pnewton]

"… I used to hate using the cry room at church. I feel a cry room is there for use of parents with very young children who are disruptive during Mass. I think one should take their child there if their child is disruptive during Mass, that they should quiet the child and then return to church.

Then you probably wouldn’t like my method of using the cry room. I would use it as punishment where I would hold my son in the strictest fashion and let him cry to his heart’s content. I know others were there because they could let their kids have more freedom or because they came late and wanted to slip in, but if it was built for crying, I wasn’t going to placate at all. By age three I never had to use it again.

 

[SwizzleStick]

Then you probably wouldn’t like my method of using the cry room. I would use it as punishment where I would hold my son in the strictest fashion and let him cry to his heart’s content. I know others were there because they could let their kids have more freedom or because they came late and wanted to slip in, but if it was built for crying, I wasn’t going to placate at all. By age three I never had to use it again.

Actual crying is one thing, reading, talking, playing and goofing off are entirely different. I did say that I feel a cry room is there for the use of parents with very young children who are disruptive during Mass. Though I would have trouble concentrating on the Mass, I do understand kids cry and are disruptive (which is why I would be there with my own child to begin with).

 

[Trishie]

Rita, is it not possible to say in the gentlest possible way with your very best smile and kindest voice that you find it distracting? Or that it may be distracting to others?
Or is there someone who oversees or organises the choir who you may kindly as speak to her? Or even, kindly, the priest?
She may not be aware of the difficulty she causes.
Have you prayed about it.

I do hope you can solve this peacefully, as you wish, as I can understand how oppressive such distraction can be, and it is less than mindful of the situation of prayerfulness and praise.

Best wishes, Trishie