Telling the Parents

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SemperFidelis

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I don’t know if this is the best place for this, but here goes:

I am home from college this Christmas vacation and was planning on telling my parents that I am going to become Catholic. I was going to wait and tell them after Christmas because my parents are very devout Southern Baptists and Christmas is a very important holiday to them. However, I now feel that I must tell them sooner, and unfortunately in the process probably ruin Christmas for them. I found out this morning when I went to church with them, that at the Christmas Eve service, they will be offering the “Lord’s Supper.” I do not think I can in good faith and good conscience receive the “Lord’s Supper,” especially since it will be only a month until I become Catholic. I would have to have a very good reason in their minds to not go to the Christmas Eve service and not partake in the “Lord’s Supper.” I’m just looking for a little bit of advice here. What do ya’ll think I should do?
  1. Tell them I’m becoming Catholic and possibly ruin Christmas
or
  1. Go to the Christmas Eve service with my parents and receive a wafer and grape juice, which would be blasphemy against the Body and Blood of Our Lord.
I’m very stuck on what to do. I am ready to tell them, but I wanted to time it so I wouldn’t ruin Christmas for them. However, I do not think I can in good conscience go with them. Thanks for the advice and God Bless!
 
Let me turn the situation around on you and hopefully give you the advice you need as well. I am the father of two twenty-something daughters. If my daughters were to come home from college and go to Mass and receive our Lord, THEN told me they no longer believed in the Eucharist, I would be a whole lot sadder and concerned for their souls than if they had simply told me up front their reasons for not wanting to go to Mass. The Holy Spirit has called you to become catholic. He knew when he called you that there would be a certain amount of turmoil in your family’s life as a result. But you have to TRUST God. He has it all worked out. Tell your parents your reasons. It’s honoring your mother and your father by telling them the truth. I am not familiar at all with the Baptist service. Would it be ok to attend the service out of respect to your parents and not participate in the “Lord’s Supper?” Then go to Mass on Christmas Day and invite them to come along? Who knows? Maybe your conversion is the seed that the Holy Spirit has planted to bring the rest of your family to the fullness of Christ’s church.
I will pray for you and your family that, regardless of your decision, you all have a holy and blessed Christmas.
 
RAGGANDI said:
Let me turn the situation around on you and hopefully give you the advice you need as well. I am the father of two twenty-something daughters. If my daughters were to come home from college and go to Mass and receive our Lord, THEN told me they no longer believed in the Eucharist, I would be a whole lot sadder and concerned for their souls than if they had simply told me up front their reasons for not wanting to go to Mass. The Holy Spirit has called you to become catholic. He knew when he called you that there would be a certain amount of turmoil in your family’s life as a result. But you have to TRUST God. He has it all worked out. Tell your parents your reasons. It’s honoring your mother and your father by telling them the truth. I am not familiar at all with the Baptist service. Would it be ok to attend the service out of respect to your parents and not participate in the “Lord’s Supper?” Then go to Mass on Christmas Day and invite them to come along? Who knows? Maybe your conversion is the seed that the Holy Spirit has planted to bring the rest of your family to the fullness of Christ’s church.
I will pray for you and your family that, regardless of your decision, you all have a holy and blessed Christmas.
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First, off. This is a really good answer.

If you read nothing else. Stick with this first answer and you will be doing okay.

But I wish to emphasize a point. Even if you decide not to tell your parents before Christmas, your choice does not mean do number 2.

You could go to service with your family and refrain from communion. If this then, brings up dialogue about why, answer honestly, or tell them you are not ready to discuss it yet.

What ever you do, do not recieve communion at your parents service under false pretenses.

May the Holy Spirit lead and guide you and give you peace in your decision.

God Bless,
Maria
 
SemperFidelis said:
I don’t know if this is the best place for this, but here goes:

I am home from college this Christmas vacation and was planning on telling my parents that I am going to become Catholic. I was going to wait and tell them after Christmas because my parents are very devout Southern Baptists and Christmas is a very important holiday to them. However, I now feel that I must tell them sooner, and unfortunately in the process probably ruin Christmas for them. I found out this morning when I went to church with them, that at the Christmas Eve service, they will be offering the “Lord’s Supper.” I do not think I can in good faith and good conscience receive the “Lord’s Supper,” especially since it will be only a month until I become Catholic. I would have to have a very good reason in their minds to not go to the Christmas Eve service and not partake in the “Lord’s Supper.” I’m just looking for a little bit of advice here. What do ya’ll think I should do?
  1. Tell them I’m becoming Catholic and possibly ruin Christmas
or
  1. Go to the Christmas Eve service with my parents and receive a wafer and grape juice, which would be blasphemy against the Body and Blood of Our Lord.
I’m very stuck on what to do. I am ready to tell them, but I wanted to time it so I wouldn’t ruin Christmas for them. However, I do not think I can in good conscience go with them. Thanks for the advice and God Bless!
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Go to their Christmas Eve Service, but do not participate in their “Lord’s Supper”. Afterward let them know that you intend to attend Midnight Mass or Christmas Morning Mass and invite them to go with you.
 
Laudatur Iesus Christus.

In all his activity a man is bound to follow his conscience in order that he may come to God, the end and purpose of life. (Dignitatis humanae 3)
Is no. 2 an option?

Pax Christi tecum.

John Hiner
 
You already know that you cannot in good conscience go to that service and partake of their Lord’s Supper. If you go to church with them and decline without any explanation, this will surely upset them deeply, so their Christmas will be impacted anyway. It’s probably best to tell them beforehand. Ask them if they would rather have you go to church with them anyway and not partake of their communion, or to stay home. It’s possible that they might not want to have to explain to anyone why you refused the bread and grape juice, and they would rather that you don’t go with them. (Cradle-Catholics note: it is most uncommon for someone to refuse communion in most Protestant churches, where the “Lord’s Table” is open to all who believe. People will notice and very well may comment, especially if they know the family well. “Is there something wrong? I noticed that your son refused the Lord’s Supper.” That sort of thing).

I told my family that I was converting right in the middle of Christmas dinner ten years ago. It made a lasting impression, let me tell you! But I came from a non-religious family, so at least I didn’t have to deal with them having a fit because I wouldn’t go to their church. I’ll say a prayer for you. Good luck and God bless. And Merry Christmas!
 
I told my parents. We argued for about four hours going over Doctrinal point by Doctrinal point as it pertains to Catholic teaching. Saying it did not go over well would be an complete and total understatement. I believe that I defended the Catholic position to the best of my ability. Not to seem egotistical but I think I am very well studied regarding Catholic teaching, but even I was not ready for this. They want me to talk to a Baptist minister and “get straightened out.” I am way past the point of no return, but I don’t think they completely realize it. Either that or they don’t want to. I fear that Christmas has been ruined. My Dad even told me that “he failed me as a Father,” and my Mother told me I “was a disappointment.” Please pray for me.
 
Meet them half-way. Go to their church, but don’t receive communion. That’s what I have done in the past…

May God bless you on your spiritual journey.

Prayers and petitions,
Alexius:cool:
 
I am sorry to hear that it didn’t go well. It’s a pretty heavy cross to bear thinking you may have disappointed your parents. If it is any consolation to know this, I have been severely tested by my children several times. I have never stopped LOVING them. Don’t let it ruin Christmas. There is still plenty of time before Christmas for cooler heads to prevail and help you and your parents to remember that the birth of Christ is reason for FAITH, HOPE, and LOVE not questions, despair, and discord. I will offer a special rosary for you and your family tonight. See if your Mom and Dad will say the Lord’s Prayer with you. It is one of many, many things you still have in common, regardless of what you all think. God Bless you and your family.
 
SemperFidelis said:
I told my parents. We argued for about four hours going over Doctrinal point by Doctrinal point as it pertains to Catholic teaching. Saying it did not go over well would be an complete and total understatement. I believe that I defended the Catholic position to the best of my ability. Not to seem egotistical but I think I am very well studied regarding Catholic teaching, but even I was not ready for this. They want me to talk to a Baptist minister and “get straightened out.” I am way past the point of no return, but I don’t think they completely realize it. Either that or they don’t want to. I fear that Christmas has been ruined. My Dad even told me that “he failed me as a Father,” and my Mother told me I “was a disappointment.” Please pray for me.
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I don’t think your parents “failed” you - if anything, it was their own faith that brought you towards the Fullness of the Faith in the Catholic Church. This is your way of honoring them. I hope you can help them see that.

God bless you on your journey home.
 
Tonks40 said:
I don’t think your parents “failed” you - if anything, it was their own faith that brought you towards the Fullness of the Faith in the Catholic Church. This is your way of honoring them. I hope you can help them see that.

This was very well stated. I agree completely.
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SemperFidelis said:
I told my parents. We argued for about four hours going over Doctrinal point by Doctrinal point as it pertains to Catholic teaching. Saying it did not go over well would be an complete and total understatement. I believe that I defended the Catholic position to the best of my ability. Not to seem egotistical but I think I am very well studied regarding Catholic teaching, but even I was not ready for this. They want me to talk to a Baptist minister and “get straightened out.” I am way past the point of no return, but I don’t think they completely realize it. Either that or they don’t want to. I fear that Christmas has been ruined. My Dad even told me that “he failed me as a Father,” and my Mother told me I “was a disappointment.” Please pray for me.
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Love is a more powerful witness than words. This is an emotional time for your parents and you as well. You are very important to your parents. It is difficult to discuss things calmly and rationally when emotions are raging. The worst thing that can happen now is to get into an argument. You do not have to defend the Catholic Church or faith in the next few days. It will be much easier to have a rational discussion after emotions settle a bit. Love your parents and pray for them. Surely you do, but focus on loving them. You can do it in silence. You can do it in action. Love covers a multitude of sins and converts more people than intellectual wrangling.

God will bless you.
 
SemperFidelis said:
I told my parents. We argued for about four hours going over Doctrinal point by Doctrinal point as it pertains to Catholic teaching. Saying it did not go over well would be an complete and total understatement. I believe that I defended the Catholic position to the best of my ability. Not to seem egotistical but I think I am very well studied regarding Catholic teaching, but even I was not ready for this. They want me to talk to a Baptist minister and “get straightened out.” I am way past the point of no return, but I don’t think they completely realize it. Either that or they don’t want to. I fear that Christmas has been ruined. My Dad even told me that “he failed me as a Father,” and my Mother told me I “was a disappointment.” Please pray for me.
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I had a similar experience. My mom is an ex-Catholic who experienced the worst of Catholicism. Be charitable. When you talk in a civil manner, it is much easier to find points of agreement, or at a minimum, respect the other person. The other day, my father and I discussed theology for over five hours and I found we agree on alot. I found we both believe in justification by faith and works, the importance and need to venerate Mary, the teaching that Mary is the Mother of God, the ability to lose salvation and many other things. If I had argued and told him he is wrong in being Evangelical, we would have gotten no where. My mom thinks I am trusting in my works to get to heaven. I don’t know how many times I’ve tried to explain to her that I do not, but she believes in OSAS. She also thinks I am rebelling and that she failed as a parent. She wanted me to see a pastor, but that would have been useless. Many of the pastors I talked to thought my spiritual journey was good and returning to the Church Fathers was necessary…🤷

May God bless you on your spiritual journey…

Prayers and petitions,
Alexius:cool:
 
As many have already said, go with them but don’t take the “Lord’s Supper”. This WILL bring up the question. After talking to them and calming them down, ask them to attend Mass with you. The Holy Spirit might touch them and they may see the truth of the church.
 
SemperFidelis said:
…I found out this morning when I went to church with them, that at the Christmas Eve service, they will be offering the “Lord’s Supper.” I do not think I can in good faith and good conscience receive the “Lord’s Supper,” especially since it will be only a month until I become Catholic. I would have to have a very good reason in their minds to not go to the Christmas Eve service and not partake in the “Lord’s Supper.” I’m just looking for a little bit of advice here. What do ya’ll think I should do?
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Definitley you should not receive at the protestant service. Tell them you will explain after Christmas if they ask. And if they press the issue, then out of respect and obedience and love, sit them down and let them know where you’re at, the path you are on, and why. Do this with all charity and with much prayer. And be prepared to put on a pot of coffe as you’ll likely be up for quite a while 🙂

And I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you this, but you should also attend mass this Christmas - somehow, someway.

My prayers are with you my friend. Let me know how it goes.

Peace in Christ,

DustinsDad
 
Sorry man, I should have read through the whole thread before responding above.

My prayers are with you and your family this Christmas.

Know that you are not alone, many have been (and many are) where you are right now…and know that the Lord will see you through this time. With much love and patience and prayer, He may just be using you to bring your whole family home to Him and His Church…and who knows…maybe even their pastor ;-).

Let your love of Christ shine through it all, even through the heartache and hurt, that’s what it’s all about!

DustinsDad
 
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