Telling the Parents

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I can’t believe that I missed this thread.

I am so sorry for all you are going through, you bet that I will pray for you!
 
I’m sorry that your journey has been a bit bittersweet. Know that we are joyous and happy for you that you have come to know the truth in the Catholic faith.

Someone in this forum asked a question one time when I was at a bit of a “valley” in my life and questioned our church. Why is it that Catholics who leave for a Protestant church attack the Catholic faith, but when a Protestant comes to the Catholic church, they seem to be happy with their new home? Could it be because they discovered the truth about where Jesus wants them? Keep seeking the truth and you will learn more and more that it truly will set you (and your family maybe even) free.

Just know that you and your family are in our prayers and things will get better and a little easier with time and prayer.

Remember that we all have to go through our own crucifixion to get to our resurrection of some sort.
 
Please know that my prayers are with you, too, and that I empathize with what you are going through. I am a Jewish convert to Catholicism, so I also faced disappointed relatives when I told them about my conversion. For example, when I told my sister that I converted, she told me that if my mother were still alive that it would “kill her.” It was very painful and put a big strain between us for the longest time. To this day I still have a friend that tries to talk me out of being Catholic.

The best advice I can offer is to pray a lot in order to fight any doubt and negativity that may be lurking–because the negativity and doubt will lurk, waiting for an opportunity to pounce. It must have hurt to hear your parents say they are disappointed or that they failed as parents. Remember, they are speaking about themselves–not you. Keep strong and know that heaven and earth are rejoicing for you. God Bless!
 
It would be very hard for anyone who believes their faith is the truth and the way to accept that someone they love got lost. My sister converted to United Church of Christ. That’s what her husband is, so she just started going to church there. She’d been married before, but he died, so she could have gotten married in the Church. She just didn’t really care, so they got married in his church because he did care. Some of our Italian Catholic family wouldn’t come, but those same people skipped a funeral because there was no Mass, so compassion isn’t their strong suit anyway. Your parents are hurt, but they’ll come around to some extent. They’ll always love you, though they will probaby fear for your immortal soul.
 
My lifelong Presbyterian mother still makes little snide remarks about my conversion. My father is silent on the subject. It pains me that they are not more accepting. I am uplifted and given strength by the Holy Spirit. We can only pray.
 
Br.Rich_SFO said:
Remember that you only have to defend your decision to follow this path. You do not have to defend the Church or her teachings. You, may not have all the answers, to all the questions and acusations thrown at you. Don’t let that bother you. The only thing you need to defend is that you are certain that this is what Christ is calling you to do, and nothing will prevent you from listening to Him.
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This is very very true. You don’t have to be a skilled apologist to go up against this, because at the end of the day you chose the real presence of Jesus and it doesn’t get any better than that. My mom will kick and scream all she wants, and tell me that there are many ways to be Christian, and that she went to bible study classes when she was younger, etc etc on and on, but it still doesn’t change my choice.

There is so much pride in religion. People make it a touch subject by infusing their egos into the whole mess. I find in Catholicism a true submission to God, a giving over of my will to be put in his hands so that he may work his plan in me. I don’t have to explain or defend the church to anyone. Persecution of my family has actually shown me that my choice is all the more right anyway! When i see how much hate and pride they have against the Church and the Pope, I just say a prayer in my head.

It won’t be easy, baptists (my mom is one) are a tough tough bunch. Let them bring you to the preacher, let him lecture you, and let him know at the end that Jesus loves him just as much as he loves you, and that Jesus is compelling you to do this. He won’t expect that. I have this newfound spirituality and it is seriously freaking people out at home, and probably the same for the OP. Your pastor will probably choke on his coffee when you tell him Jesus is compelling you to do it.

When i told that to my mom, she kinda looked at me funny. “Jesus doesn’t do that…he died 2000 years ago! You’re crazy!”

I will pray for you today. Be strong. Read the gospels when you are being persecuted, and ask for the Holy Spirit to come upon you to give you the grace and charity to respond lovingly.

-revelations

(p.s. my mom kinda changed her mind a little when she saw that this semester, for the first time in 3 years, i passed all my engineering classes with wonderful marks. How’s that for spiritual peace!)
 
I would also like to encourage all those facing this difficult situation to always, always, always remain *respectful *of what was your original homebase when it comes to religion. In some way, shape, or form, the traditions your family did (or didn’t) hand down to you were formative in your ultimate decision to join the Catholic Church. We are delighted to have you and call you brother or sister – but who you are came from somewhere. Don’t give them cause to think you are trashing that background as you move forward.
 
I’m a Cradle Catholic (born into a Catholic family; well, dad was Catholic, and mom converted later).

As a mother of children your age, Semper Fi, I would most appreciate a hand-written thoughtful letter from any of my sons (for any reason). Your mom may be different.

You might reassure you that you love her and your dad, and how much you appreciate their raising you to love Jesus and the scriptures. Reiterate what you already have told them in person, that your love for Jesus has deepened and that you have found the fullness of Truth in the Catholic Church. I’m saying write it out, because in the emotional state of your revelation to them on the 23rd, they may not have retained your reasons and may need to see this in writing. In any case, writing it out by hand is a very personal way to reach people, and I think in particular, your mother.

Pray for strength from Our Lady. Do you have a patron Saint? Maybe a convert; suggestions anyone?

God bless you on your journey and Welcome Home!

Mimi
 
IrishAm said:
I would also like to encourage all those facing this difficult situation to always, always, always remain *respectful *of what was your original homebase when it comes to religion. In some way, shape, or form, the traditions your family did (or didn’t) hand down to you were formative in your ultimate decision to join the Catholic Church. We are delighted to have you and call you brother or sister – but who you are came from somewhere. Don’t give them cause to think you are trashing that background as you move forward.
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I agree with you completely about always remaining respectful. My Baptist family has been hard on me, but God has given me His grace to handle each situation as it comes up. They are not used to their sister/daughter being so gracious. We all have very strong personalities and don’t bite our toungues very well. So, my reactions to their snide-ness (is that a word?) has been surprising to them and they’re starting to let up a bit. I have a new-found peace and I guess it shows. Lately, I’ve been even getting some honest non-judgemental questions. Thanks be to God and Our Lady!!

One good thing that God gave me to be brought up Baptist is that Baptists know their Scriptures. So, when they want to talk “sola scriptora”, I can meet them on their ground. 😃
 
danlaupat said:
Please know that my prayers are with you, too, and that I empathize with what you are going through. I am a Jewish convert to Catholicism, so I also faced disappointed relatives when I told them about my conversion. For example, when I told my sister that I converted, she told me that if my mother were still alive that it would “kill her.” It was very painful and put a big strain between us for the longest time. To this day I still have a friend that tries to talk me out of being Catholic.

The best advice I can offer is to pray a lot in order to fight any doubt and negativity that may be lurking–because the negativity and doubt will lurk, waiting for an opportunity to pounce. It must have hurt to hear your parents say they are disappointed or that they failed as parents. Remember, they are speaking about themselves–not you. Keep strong and know that heaven and earth are rejoicing for you. God Bless!
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Thank you!
 
I have members of my family that still won’t talk to me. What will you do if they abandon you completely? Is the prize of Christ in the Eucharist worth it? I can say in my own life yes it is worth more than if all my family had nothing to do with me. Take courage, your sins are forgiven. You have found the kingdom of heaven.
 
My mom always has a way of making me feel weak and stupid about my decision even when I have backed her into a corner. It is very hard. I told my family, I think around this time a year ago. Most of them still refuse to accept I am actually converting. Once my confirmation comes up I am going to invite them. The arguing has finally subsided and we have decided to just not bring up the topic at all. I still hide from my mom that I go to Mass when I am at her place, though she knows I attend regularly. 🤷

It is so hard, because we’re made to feel like a traitor. Pray for them, as I will also for all of you. Let God open their hearts. Take care
 
homewardbound said:
Pray for them, as I will also for all of you. Let God open their hearts. Take care
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It is only GOD who can open their hearts. We pray.

I’m the only Catholic in my family and it can be tough. But, I’ve learned that it’s my job to pray and present. It’s the Holy Spirit’s job to open hearts and convince. I am praying for you.

Cindi
 
SemperFidelis,

I just want to throw my support behind the posters who have already said what I would say: that you are not required to argue every fine point of doctrine and dogma in order to “prove” your reasons for conversion. In truth, at the beginning of such a journey, no matter how extensively one has studied (for our faith requires a lifetime journey!), I believe it is usually a mistake to let oneself get drawn into protracted arguments with seasoned and studied Protestants. When we do, inevitably there are times when we feel backed into a corner because we don’t have an answer for every question, and it can leave us with that weak-in-the-knees feeling that lingers and gnaws at our stomachs and keeps us awake at night. You must guard yourself against being made to feel immature or unprepared.

The grace of God has carried you this far, and if you trust and obey Him, will carry you the rest of the way. You are likely to be far more convincing in your arguments by simply displaying the true qualities of Christianity – love, joy, peace, patience, etc. – than by attempting to solve every apologetical problem thrown at you with the adroitness of Fulton Sheen or Father Corapi! So just pray to Our Lord and the Blessed Mother for strength, wisdom, and courage, and trust that when the time comes, you will have no problem in giving an answer for the hope you have come to know in the One, Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic Church.

Peace to you, brother.

mary
 
I just want to thank everyone for their support and honest comments. It is nice to hear something other than a negative attitude everytime Catholicism is mentioned. I’ve been getting a lot of that lately. Thanks again everyone and God Bless!
 
I’m so glad you came back. I’m sure I’m not the only one wondering how things were going at your house. Still praying for you…Deb
 
Dear SemperFidelis,

Such a heavy cross Jesus has allowed you to bear! And it is evident that you bear it with the same courage and love as He did. Do you recognize all the Simons of Cyrene He has granted to you on this thread? It is evident that you do!

God has blessed you, young man.
 
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