Telling women over 40 what they can wear

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Sepharad

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OK, I know this is a Catholic forum, so I hope this thread is Ok here…I just felt maybe somebody here could help me with this.

I just read an article online that says women over 40 “must not” wear certain things…included in that were Crocs shoes, and backpacks!

Can anyone explain to me why this might be? I’ve never been one to let anyone tell me what to wear just because of my age, and I have always preferred backpacks to handbags so it keeps my hands free (I went back to backpacks when I had to take daily care of my elderly mother…I needed my hands free to push her wheelchair and the handbag kept sliding down my arm!)

And Crocs are very comfortable, so why not? I also have long hair down to my rear, and they say women over 40 shouldn’t do that either!

Of course I don’t listen to stuff like that, but I’m curious as to the “why” of it. Anyone know?
 
Sepharad said:
OK, I know this is a Catholic forum, so I hope this thread is Ok here…I just felt maybe somebody here could help me with this.

I just read an article online that says women over 40 “must not” wear certain things…included in that were Crocs shoes, and backpacks!
?
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did the author of the article give any reasons? you probably wont find them here since this is not an issue of Catholic doctrine. when I was still watching WNTW and other self-improvement shows, I got the distinct impressions a lot of the old rules no longer apply–don’t need to match bag and shoes, clothes don’t have to match in color and pattern, they just have to “go with” whatever that means. I do agree no mini-skirts over 35 but would personally lower the age to 8.
 
puzzleannie said:
did the author of the article give any reasons? you probably wont find them here since this is not an issue of Catholic doctrine. when I was still watching WNTW and other self-improvement shows, I got the distinct impressions a lot of the old rules no longer apply–don’t need to match bag and shoes, clothes don’t have to match in color and pattern, they just have to “go with” whatever that means. I do agree no mini-skirts over 35 but would personally lower the age to 8.
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No, the article didn’t say why they advise that, I asked here since I happened to be here reading other things, and this seems to be a forum for women and family questions.

I get offended when I read articles like that…who are they to tell me what to wear! I do agree with them on string bikinis, minis and pants with words across the rear though! But a backpack and Crocs??
 
It’s just the stupid fashion industry. I agree that some things are inappropriate for some people-we all have different body types-, but I don’t think you can arbitrarily put an age on something. Yeah, a 40 y/o woman would look ridiculous in skin tight Daisy Dukes w/ “Juicy” written across the rear, no matter how good of shape she’s in (come to think of it, I think everybody looks ridiculous in those-that was a bad example, but you get my drift?), but crocs and long hair (so long as it’s clean, healthy, and combed), why not? A fat woman (like me 😃 ) shouldnt’ wear a miniskirt or a halter top, but that goes for a 20, 30, 40, 50, etc, etc y/o fat woman, not just one over 40.

I for one am sick of complete strangers (where are they anyway? New York, LA, London, Paris, Milan? Where do these people come from, and what makes them "experts’?) telling me what I can and can’t wear. If it’s modest and fits well and I find it comfortable, I’m going to wear it, so bite me 😛

In Christ,

Ellen
 
I could care less about backpacks or crocs…could we talk about short shorts, mini-skirts, too-tight clothes, frumpy wear, bra-buldges, panty lines, visible muffin tops, ill-fitting jeans/slacks, hair that hasn’t seen grooming in days, etc… By the time you reach 40 you ***SHOULD ***know how to dress to deal with your figure flaws as well as strenghts and how to appear as if you practice some rudimentary form of personal hygiene!!!

(ARGHHH…have I vented enough yet?!)
 
the whole point of being over 40 is you don’t have to listen to this c–p anymore and don’t have to obey the fashion police.
 
I’m gonna take the angle that the article is written for those seeking fashion advice. For those that don’t care about fashion–don’t get offended about fashion advice. Either it is important to you or it isn’t. There are “rules” about fashion and that’s what the article was addressing.

I enjoy fashions and reading about what to wear and not to wear–I find that it is fun–but I still exercise my own judgment. 🙂

Provided an outfit is modest, that’s all that is required of you as a Catholic. So I hope you don’t worry about the article…just be happy with you the way you are! 👍
 
um… I’ll hazzard on the side of benefit of the doubt…
crocs are bad for most people’s feet. In fact, most womens’ shoes are terrible for any woman of any age to wear. They’re bad for their back and feet. I would hazzard that gets to be more true as a woman ages.
As for backpacks, they are notoriously bad for backs. Mostly because they are too heavy and or because they are only worn on ONE side rather than the weight being distributed evenly on both shoulders. Again, I would think something that is bad for a youth’s back would be more bad for a back that is no longer replacing calcium and has ages 40 years.
both of those things may cause further damage to back that’s already gone through 40 year of wear and tear. Or both of those things can cause indirect damage that is far worse in a woman 40+. For example, a 20 year old can stumble or trip in flip flops or crocs and recover pretty quick wihtout any lasting damage. The same thing in a 40+ woman could require hip surgery or worse.
**So I will not tell you what to wear, but suggest that it was more of a health issue than a true fashion requirement. I’m the least fashionable person and always have been. And at 35, I like my crocs for around the house or a trip outside to feed the koi pond and use a backpack as a purse/diaper bag, most likely slung over one shoulder.🙂 **
 
I have always preferred backpacks for convenience, to keep my hands free. I started doing that when my kids were little, so I had my hands free if I had to grab one of them, or catch them if they started to fall. Then when I had to become caretaker for my mom, pushing her wheelchair became easier with a backpack that stayed out of my way.

I have a larger backpack that I use in wintertime, but I recently bought a small colorful fabric one, made by Tibetan refugees (they were being sold to raise money for their needs)…its technically a backpack but weighs less than a purse!

One clothing issue I have is: in my religion (as well as in yours), modesty in dress is very strongly encouraged. Yet much of the modestwear makes a heavier woman look frumpy! I’m a size 12-14 (used to be lots bigger), and I find that when you are larger, modest clothing doesn’t do much for you.

How does one dress modestly without looking frumpy? Any recommendations?
 
puzzleannie said:
I do agree no mini-skirts over 35 but would personally lower the age to 8.
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:rotfl:

For me, it’s “No shorts” over 40. 😃 Shorts for me would be knee length capris.

As for the OP’s question, it’s probably not a moral thing, it’s just that it’s not attractive. Shouldn’t we always want to look our best?
 
And just for the record, (and since I don’t know you;) )
I think Crocs are hideous.
🤷
(But I’d never tell you that in person)
 
Don’t believe everything you read. I’m with puzzleannie on this, 50 and still wearing jeans most of the week. I don’t care what some bimbette decides to tell me to wear.

I find that with a couple exceptions, the TLC show “What Not To Wear” does some very good work in this regard, as far as body types, figure flaws, etc., for a more polished look. Otherwise, I have a good hair person, and wear what I please.
 
graceandglory said:
And just for the record, (and since I don’t know you;) )
I think Crocs are hideous.
🤷
(But I’d never tell you that in person)
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I agree on their looks but they work GREAT for people like me who suffer from plantar fasciitis!
 
ALLGIRLS said:
I for one am sick of complete strangers (where are they anyway? New York, LA, London, Paris, Milan? Where do these people come from, and what makes them "experts’?) telling me what I can and can’t wear. If it’s modest and fits well and I find it comfortable, I’m going to wear it, so bite me 😛

In Christ,

Ellen
Click to expand...
Don’t hold anything back now! :rotfl:
 
Sepharad said:
I have always preferred backpacks for convenience, to keep my hands free. I started doing that when my kids were little, so I had my hands free if I had to grab one of them, or catch them if they started to fall. Then when I had to become caretaker for my mom, pushing her wheelchair became easier with a backpack that stayed out of my way.

I have a larger backpack that I use in wintertime, but I recently bought a small colorful fabric one, made by Tibetan refugees (they were being sold to raise money for their needs)…its technically a backpack but weighs less than a purse!

One clothing issue I have is: in my religion (as well as in yours), modesty in dress is very strongly encouraged. Yet much of the modestwear makes a heavier woman look frumpy! I’m a size 12-14 (used to be lots bigger), and I find that when you are larger, modest clothing doesn’t do much for you.

How does one dress modestly without looking frumpy? Any recommendations?
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I may have the wrong idea of “modesty”. Whenever I read about modest clothing, the links always provide pictures of things that look like something the Amish would wear (not that there’s anything wrong w/ the Amish, it’s just that I’m not one (and neither are you, I know 😉 ). I feel that I dress modestly, the only frumpy dress I own (it’s mid calf length, short sleeved button down denim, horribly ugly, but so comfy!) I use as a “house dress” on days I need to get dressed but don’t want to “be dressed”, kwim (or I’m in dire need of doing laundry!). Otherwise I wear short or long sleeved shirts (tshirts or button down), depending on the weather, not tight jeans (I’m fat, they’d have to be comfy regardless of modesty) or capris and bermuda/walking shorts for summer. I don’t show cleveage (and I’m a 40 F, so that’s no easy feat!) or my midriff, or any nasty “camel toe”. I kinda freak out about my thighs, but that’s probably b/c at this time they rub together b/c I"m so heavy, so I don’t like anyone (besides hubby, of course) to see them more than an inch or 2 above my knee. I’ve always liked long skirts, the “broomstick” ones are some of my favorites (some require a slip, though, as they’re transparent in certain light). It’s not that difficult, but I’m wondering if that qualifies as “modest”, by the “industry” definition? I’m not “showing off my assets” in any way, shape, or form, which is what I believe counts.

In Christ,

Ellen
 
I love my crocs…I call them my ugly shoes. 😛 But they are comfy and when I had a toe injury they were all I could wear because they didn’t touch the top of my toe!

Oh I’d never wear them to church, mind you, that’s just me. But my ugly shoes are great for a quick trip to the store…or on the long drive home from work

btw I’m 43!
 
funnyyetsavvy said:
I love my crocs…I call them my ugly shoes. 😛 But they are comfy and when I had a toe injury they were all I could wear because they didn’t touch the top of my toe!

Oh I’d never wear them to church, mind you, that’s just me. But my ugly shoes are great for a quick trip to the store…or on the long drive home from work

btw I’m 43!
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I think crocs are ugly, but I’ve heard they’re incredibly comfortable. However, I’ll never know, b/c dh thinks they are SO hideous that he’s forbidden anyone in the family from owning any. Since it’s not a big deal to me (I have an incredibly comfy pair of polkadot canvas slip ons that I wear all the time), I’ll submit on this little point 🙂 .

In Christ,

Ellen
 
Sepharad said:
…I just read an article online that says women over 40 “must not” wear certain things…Of course I don’t listen to stuff like that, but I’m curious as to the “why” of it. Anyone know?
Click to expand...
I think this is mostly about “age appropriateness”, (although Rob’s Wife brought up an interesting point about back problems.) What is “age appropriate” is largely a matter of opinion, but a good general rule is a 40+ year old woman should not dress and look as if she thinks she’s still 22. Twenty-two year olds also should dress appropriate for their age.

Very few people actually “tell” others what they can or can not wear, but people in our society frequently judge others by appearances. By the time we reach our 40’s, we should know ourselves and our figures. Knowing what we like and what looks good on us helps save us from ugly fashion trends. We aren’t slaves to fashion, but we can use fashion to help make certain impressions on others. I want to give off the impression that I know what decade I was born, and what current decade it is.

Since this is a Catholic forum, I will mention that how we look makes an impact on how other people perceive our faith.
 
funnyyetsavvy said:
I love my crocs…I call them my ugly shoes. 😛 But they are comfy and when I had a toe injury they were all I could wear because they didn’t touch the top of my toe!

Oh I’d never wear them to church, mind you, that’s just me. But my ugly shoes are great for a quick trip to the store…or on the long drive home from work

btw I’m 43!
Click to expand...
I’m 54 and recently developed a problem with hammertoe. I gave up the futile resistance and was assimilated into the Crocs body.😃

Yes, they’re ugly & yes, they look stupid but when it was the only thing I could walk in they came to the ambo when I went to read. Now I’m back into an old pair of Naturalizers to go read but I’m still wearing my Crocs to work. My dress pumps are still out of the question and I suspect that part of my summer visit to my daughter will be at spent at the podiatry clinic.

Now if only they’d had my size Crocs in a color other than aqua. 😊
 
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