Temper tantrums

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Viki63

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I’ve agreed to babysit a two year old while his mother works, and have just been told that he has a serious problem with temper tantrums. I haven’t seen it, but my son says the boy will bang his head on the floor and act like he’s choking if he doesn’t get his way. His previous caretaker just let him do whatever he wanted.
So I’m asking for advice on how to deal with a temper tantruming two year old. I’ve raised 4 kids and have seen a few tantrums, but never heard of one who sounds like he’s in danger of hurting himself. My usual method of dealing with tantrums is to leave the room so they don’t have an audience.
Suggestions welcome.
 
I would say that baby sitting doesn t involve educating but taking care the child is safe and entertained until parents arrive.
If you ask,I wouldn t leave the room. And if the kid throws bizarre tantrums that may hurt himself like hitting his head on the floor or stuff like that,then I would just quit.
Preventing a child from hurting himself as a pattern is beyond babysitting skills and expectations,IMO.
But kids do things with the parents that they usually do not do with other people. They know what they can get and from whom. They just see how far they can get.
 
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my personal advice ( you asked for advice)

is to abandon this ship and let the “parents” deal with this
 
Thanks for the replies, but it’s a little more complicated.
The girl and her child are moving in with us, as she is losing her place in a week. She’s going to pay rent, which will help us out a lot.
I’m retired, so watching her child a few days a week seemed reasonable. The few times I’ve seen the child he seemed calm enough, just a normal two year old. And I’ve agreed to help out, so I hate to abandon ship just because of what I was told. I have a soft spot in my heart for single mothers, as I was one. So if I can help her manage her child, I’d like to.
What do you do for tantrums, if not leaving the room?
 
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I watched a child that would have temper tantrums, but never attempted to hurt themself. I would take the child to another room or have him stand outside the kitchen door until they stopped. Once they didn’t have an audience, the tantrum ended. If they wanted to cry to 15 minutes, they cried! Good luck.
 
Best approach is usually to ignore a tantrum. If he starts banging his head, you can try putting something soft (such as a pillow or stuffed animal) between him and the floor.

It’s common for children to hold their breath during a tantrum. They won’t die because of this. (Seriously. It can look very scary but it’s not fatal.) The body will eventually force them to breathe.
 
My sister would hold her breath until she passed out if she did not get her way. After the 2nd time she did it, we learned to ignore it.
 
I would see if she has considered assistance from early intervention. Children who are dealing with frustration poorly when parenting is appropriate there may be something more going on.
 
Yeah, hearsay isn’t much help. You don’t know the frequency and severity of these tantrums from firsthand experience, nor do you know what strategies his mom has tried.

That said–moving a child in with unknown behavioral issues doesn’t sound like the best idea. At the very least, try to spend some time with the kid before the mom’s move-in date.
 
Suggestions…After assessing if it is late,or they may be tired or something simple,I would normally pull sth out of the blue with a request for help. Like " Oh! I forgot to check if those ants are still building that road to the flowers… Here ,let us look for the magnifying glass… " Stuff like that,very different,a different environment .
They enjoyed helping around with the chores…
Feeling helpful. Switching activities according to their attention span.
Or even a more quiet time,like reading.
For example,one of them had a tool box,and liked to " repair" stuff with me as I was doing sth else
But this was before the tantrum,when I noticed they were getting tired or uneasy or starting to pick on each other…
You must be well equipped after having raised 4!
We may very well need your ideas too! Who knows when grandchildren are announced 😍
 
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Viki, have you had a discussion with the child’s mother? What does she do, is it effective, how does she want you to handle it?

It is difficult to babysit if you have no real authority. On the other hand, this child might actually behave for you when left alone in your care without his mom being around.
 
If the child is having a tantrum to the point where self-injury is likely, I would put them some place safe like a high chair and then ignore it. I think it might be a good idea to give the child their own calming space. Maybe their bed or one of those little play tents? Practice going to the space to calm down when he’s not actually upset. Maybe give him pillows to punch? Being evicted from one’s home and having to live with someone else would qualify as a frustrating experience for a two-year-old. I would expect some crankiness from even a typical toddler.
 
Thank you for the encouragement. And you’re right. best to play it by ear.
 
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