Childhood issues can leave such and effect but you know that.
Flimmy, thought came to mind to ask you to think of the good things, the good qualities,
For a beginning, you have the hope and trust to want to find a way forward. That speaks of something valuable in you that you can believe.
That you want to try shows that you know that you can make a choice about how you regard yourself and how you will live your life when you figure it out.
The loveliest, nicest girl I know with a wonderful ability to see good,
was dragged away from her Dad when she was little and cried each evening because she missed him. Finally she got her wish and was allowed to live with her Dad. Her mom took drugs from long before she was born and thus lived in abject poverty. When she couldn’t give the girl food thou she always had something to smoke, she said it was good for character.
Then later the mom kidnapped her from her Dad’s and hid her from her Dad for some months. Later, she got back to her Dad’s, later still she saw her Daddy in handcuffs in the dock because her mom made false charges. She cried her way through two big tissue boxes in one afternoon. Her Daddy was cleared after much pain, charges dropped as manifestly false. Her Daddy battled to provide, but they never had things easy.
That little girl could be a miserable person but is the most delightful of persons. She has chosen study in an avenue that contributes to the community.
That girl made choices for a blessed future out of a childhood with horrific events.
Think of what is good in the mess and choose for the you that you really want to be and really are.
We become what we think, so if every day you give at least some time to positive and thankful and hopeful thoughts…perhaps you can become more who you really are, a beautiful, wonderful person whom everyone loves as they do this girl.