Temporal effects of sexual sin

[anon2009]

Hello, not sure if I’m in the right forum. Recently became Catholic. Confessed sexual sin in the past (pornography) and have amended my life and been forgiven. But I still feel the temporal effects. There’s some discomfort looking a woman in the eyes sometimes, and I see how bound up my heart is with impure thoughts. I would do almost anything to get rid of these temporal effects. How can this be done? What kind of penance, or what acts, might purge away these effects? What has worked for others? Thank you.

 

[Ruthie]

If all there is left is discomfort in looking in a woman’s eyes, then just keep practicing, and it will get easier. You are doing two kinds of practicing here: practicing your living faith, and the kind of practice that makes it easier each time.

If you are subject to temptation when using the internet, I’ve heard that stopping and saying a good prayer helps. Especially the Rosary! But, any one you like. Here are some of my favorites:

Fr. Serpa recently posted a great reflection on the Passion.

I also like the “Consecration of the Human Race to the Sacred Heart of Jesus.”

Most sweet Jesus, Redeemer of the human race, look down upon us humbly prostrate before thy altar. We are yours, and yours we wish to be; but to be more surely united with you, behold each one of us freely consecrates himself today to your most Sacred Heart.

Many indeed have never known you; many too, despising your precepts have rejected you. Have mercy on them all, most merciful Jesus, and draw them all to your Sacred Heart. Be King, O Lord, not only of the faithful who have never forsaken you, but also of the prodigal children who have abandoned you; grant that they may quickly return to their father’s house, lest they die of wretchedness and hunger.

Be King of those who are deceived by erroneous opinions, or whom discord keeps aloof, and call them back to the harbor of truth and unity of faith, so that soon there may be but one flock and one Shepherd.

Grant, O Lord, to your Church assurance of freedom and immunity from harm; give peace and order to all nations, and make the earth resound from pole to pole with one cry : Praise to the divine heart that wrought our salvation; to it be glory and honor for ever. Amen.

Source

I also find it helps to pray for someone or something else. For instance, many have taken up the habit of praying the Divine Mercy Chaplet for the conversion of politicians, especially the President, to the Catholic vision of life from conception to natural death.

Fr. Serpa’s meditation has helped me greatly with my particular besetting sin.

Heart of Jesus, our peace and reconciliation, have mercy on us.

Ruthie

 

[fulbert4605]

Unless you become a eunuch such urges and desires will affect you the rest of your life. This is the normal, frequent struggle that takes place between the body and the soul. It is worthwhile to bear in mind the actual urges and desires aren’t necessarily sinful in themselves so long as you don’t dwell on them or act in favor of these bodily desires. A positive, spiritual point of view to such physical beauty is: Think on how beautiful God must be to have created her. Don’t you wish to see the beautiful Face of God at the end of your journey?

What i’ve found helpful is to pray to Joseph, Chaste Spouse of Mary and also to the Virgin Mary herself. Especially when you first wake up in the mornings. It can be a well-known prayer concerning Joseph or Mary or even a simple one you make up.

i’ve also heard St. Aloysius Gonzaga would never look into the face of any woman so as to guard his purity. Maybe pray to him.

 

[budgie2]

I would keep on looking in a woman’s eyes as it is better than looking at any other part of her. The eyes are the windows of the soul. Agreeing with Fulbert, some Catholic men may try to develop a relationship with Mary the Mother of God as she is pure so you could perform an act of devotion to Mary ie. wearing the scapular or praying the Rosary (I like the illustrated guide to the Rosary) or buying a Mary statue or picture. I have never used pornography but it is still venial sin.

 

[budgie2]

Unless you become a eunuch such urges and desires will affect you the rest of your life. This is the normal, frequent struggle that takes place between the body and the soul. It is worthwhile to bear in mind the actual urges and desires aren’t necessarily sinful in themselves so long as you don’t dwell on them or act in favor of these bodily desires. A positive, spiritual point of view to such physical beauty is: Think on how beautiful God must be to have created her. Don’t you wish to see the beautiful Face of God at the end of your journey?

What i’ve found helpful is to pray to Joseph, Chaste Spouse of Mary and also to the Virgin Mary herself. Especially when you first wake up in the mornings. It can be a well-known prayer concerning Joseph or Mary or even a simple one you make up.

i’ve also heard St. Aloysius Gonzaga would never look into the face of any woman so as to guard his purity. Maybe pray to him.

---

I would keep on looking in a woman’s eyes as it is better than looking at any other part of her. The eyes are the windows of the soul. Agreeing with Fulbert, some Catholic men may try to develop a relationship with Mary the Mother of God as she is pure so you could perform an act of devotion to Mary ie. wearing the scapular or praying the Rosary (I like the illustrated guide to the Rosary) or buying a Mary statue or picture. I have never used pornography but it is still venial sin.

 

[DL82]

First of all, pornography is mortal, not venial sin.

Second of all, I’ve also struggled with this for many years in my past. To begin with, after my conversion, I reacted to this by refusing to look at any woman. I became far too scrupulous for my own good. It wasn’t terribly helpful, but maybe in some way I needed it for a while. I’d certainly say that if you can’t look a woman in the face, don’t look at her at all, because there’s nowhere else you can look that won’t end up with you objectifying her. Likewise, beware of social network sites like facebook that can sometimes encourage a pornographic mindset to have lustful thoughts towards perfectly innocent images of your friends.

I’ve found it helps to change my desktop to an image of Our Lady, and to pray the Memorare before I log on to my computer in the mornings, as well as stopping and praying the Memorare if ever tempted to sin online.

At the same time, be aware that some sexual desire is natural, I’d be worried if you didn’t have any. Meet women, look them in the face, get to know them as people. Sometimes the worst temporal effect that pornography can have is that it makes you ashamed to interact with real women - if that happens the only women in your mind will be the memories of the unreal women you used to lust over. Meet real women, have close female friends, that’s the only way you’ll develop a healthy sexuality.

And consider the 4 last things, Death, Judgment, Heaven and Hell - remember that you, and all the women you ever see or meet, will eventually face those four last things. In all your imaginings, and all your dealings with women, ask yourself: Quid hoc in aeternitatis - what is the value of this in eternity?

 

[AHapka]

First of all, pornography is mortal, not venial sin.

Strictly speaking, you both are wrong.

Pornography is grave matter. Which meets one of the three conditions of mortal sin. The other two are knowledge and full consent of the will.

It can therefore be mortal in some cases, and venial in others.

 

[TLM08]

Hello, not sure if I’m in the right forum. Recently became Catholic. Confessed sexual sin in the past (pornography) and have amended my life and been forgiven. But I still feel the temporal effects. There’s some discomfort looking a woman in the eyes sometimes, and I see how bound up my heart is with impure thoughts. I would do almost anything to get rid of these temporal effects. How can this be done? What kind of penance, or what acts, might purge away these effects? What has worked for others? Thank you.

First of all, I would challenge any man to step up and say that they have never deliberately looked at a pornographic images. So you don’t have to feel like you are any worse than the rest of us! We are all sinners.

Had you never looked at pornography, you still would have what we call “impure” thoughts. As a man, just seeing an attractive female sets forth a chain reaction of hormones, neurotransmitters and other body chemicals to get your anatomy prepared for reproductive activity. That’s just biology at work.

What porn viewing does is manipulate your biology with a false opportunity to procreate. Porn also puts your reproductive system into overdrive. This is the physical side of it.

From a spiritual aspect, porn is a perversion of physical lovemaking that belongs in marriage between husband and wife.

The real danger these days is that pornography is changing. When I was a youngster, the only porn available was topless beauties in Playboy magazine. Today, the internet contains some of the most disgusting, gross, degrading and even violent sexual images imaginable. Avoid it like the plague.

Sadly, this garbage is becoming socially accepted and even mainstreamed by society. We need to be praying for our young men who’se sexual preferences are being formed in this culture that is becoming ever increasingly filthy.

As christians, we are called by Christ to a higher standard than the animals. This can be a real challenge given our sinful (animal) nature. It’s just part of being a man. Just do your best to live a “G-Rated” life and thank God for giving us the women in our lives. Don’t let this drive you nuts. Be at peace!

 

[anon2009]

Most holy apostle, St. Jude, faithful servant and friend of Jesus, the Church honors and invokes you universally, as the patron of hopeless cases, of things almost despaired of. Pray for me, I am so helpless and alone. Make use I implore you, of that particular privilege given to you, to bring visible and speedy help where help is almost despaired of. Come to my assistance in this great need that I may receive the consolation and help of heaven in all my necessities, tribulations, and sufferings, particularly those struggling with the 6th commandment, that I may praise God with you and all the elect forever.

I promise, O blessed St. Jude, to be ever mindful of this great favor, to always honor you as my special and powerful patron, and to gratefully encourage devotion to you.

Amen.