Temptation and fantasy

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Still_Hoping

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Is fantasying a sin? If you play it safe and only keep it in your head are you still playing with temptation? Do most couples fantasize about other people (celebrities or not) when their marriage is suffering or drying up?

I had a young man message me on social media network to tell me he can’t stop looking at my pictures and thinks of me. Obviously, I thwarted his advances and told him to stop and he agreed and I haven’t heard from him since. Only problem is I keep thinking about him. It is so tempting to want to hear from him and talk to him. I know it is wrong. But I am struggling and all I have is my gut telling me not to. My mind wanders. I don’t know if I am asking for your help or just to tell me that lots of people go through this type of phase or whatever it is in their marriage?
 
Well some feelings and thoughts are ‘forced’ in our head and as long as we’re fighting we’re most definetly not sinning. If I were you, I’d check out how to make pictures private, or at least some of them…

While all this is going on (I believe it will pass pretty soon), you have a great chance to merit graces with every act that uplifts your marriage vows.
 
Thank you for being non-judgemental. I was worried about that. My pictures are private. He was a what I thought to be a mutual friend. I deleted everything but before that I witnessed to him. It worked. Anyway, I know better than to toy with this in my head. I was tempted to contact him but I won’t. This would only encourage his advances even if I keep it kosher.

My DH has become more agressive\ in his behavior towards me and our children. I pray for peace and deliverance. It has been like this for almost 25 years. Sometimes I wonder if this marriage was meant to be. I feel alone but somehow God is with me to console me.
 
Still_Hoping said:
Thank you for being non-judgemental. I was worried about that. My pictures are private. He was a what I thought to be a mutual friend. I deleted everything but before that I witnessed to him. It worked. Anyway, I know better than to toy with this in my head. I was tempted to contact him but I won’t. This would only encourage his advances even if I keep it kosher.

My DH has become more agressive\ in his behavior towards me and our children. I pray for peace and deliverance. It has been like this for almost 25 years. Sometimes I wonder if this marriage was meant to be. I feel alone but somehow God is with me to console me.
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Are you talking to your pastor?
 
These are definitely temptations and you are right to fight them. Try turning your mind gently away from them to good thoughts about your husband, and if the thoughts are overwhelming, pray for help, including to St Michael the Archangel.
 
I ran into the same type of situation. Seemingly harmless at first, some nice friendly chat but found myself thinking and wondering if they were going to be online to chat again soon. Over the course of time it turned into out-right flirting, and (fortunately) stepped back and thought–what the heck am I doing?? I would say it was no coincidence that it happened while my wife and I were recently fighting, and things weren’t the best. Got to confession right away and deleted them from email contacts list. If on any occasion, I would find my mind drifting to thoughts of chatting or that person, would immediately say a Hail Mary. I found that helped move completely past it. Stinks to be human, doesn’t it? 🙂
 
barhoram said:
I ran into the same type of situation. Seemingly harmless at first, some nice friendly chat but found myself thinking and wondering if they were going to be online to chat again soon. Over the course of time it turned into out-right flirting, and (fortunately) stepped back and thought–what the heck am I doing?? I would say it was no coincidence that it happened while my wife and I were recently fighting, and things weren’t the best. Got to confession right away and deleted them from email contacts list. If on any occasion, I would find my mind drifting to thoughts of chatting or that person, would immediately say a Hail Mary. I found that helped move completely past it. Stinks to be human, doesn’t it? 🙂
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Thanks for sharing, I feel better now. I know I am not wicked but normal. And yes, it stinks sometimes to be human.

I came to realize that even if I pursued any contact with the young man it would not benefit me in any way spiritually and emotionally. These people are only out there for a fling. I prayed so hard that God is helping me.
 
Honestly, I think you’re being too hard on yourself. Half-wishing that the guy would contact you again may be an unproductive direction for your thoughts to go, but it’s hardly tantamount to indulging in lustful fantasies. If I guy were to ask you out face to face and you were interested enough to say “yes” you’d probably be interested enough to think about him at least a little bit when he wasn’t around. Does that mean you would be ‘fantasizing’? God put us on this earth to live. Living gets pretty hard when we’re constantly worrying about whether every little thing is a sin. Give yourself a break:) Maybe this guy wasn’t right for you but I’m sure there are plenty of others out there that would be happy to meet a girl like you. Don’t let scrupulosity hold you back when God brings the right kind of man into your life.
 
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