Temptations-hurting

[littleflower_24]

Hey guys I just really need some help/advice of how to deal with and wonder if anyone has ever dealt with anything similar?
I keep falling into the sin of masturbation but the temptation isn’t of using someone else, it is of someone using me. Sometimes this results into wanting to be abused.
Although I have never been abused sexually in the past, I was physically abused by my dad when I was younger when he got mad. However, several years have passed since then, and for a time I abused myself but have not in over a year. I am engaged and just want this to stop but it keep plaguing my mind…I want to end this before we get married-help?

 

[Veronica97]

I am not belittling abuse, and you may very well need some counseling from a good Catholic counselor or from a good Spiritual director. That said, we cannot make excuses for sin. I will tell you what worked for me. When I found out that masturbation is a MORTAL SIN and that choosing to engage in it would send me to Hell–that was all I needed to know. I went to confession and by the Grace of God I have been free for over a year after 30 years of an awful habit!!! Go read what the Saints who have had visions of Hell have to say about it. Go watch some videos on youtube about people who have clinically died and seen Hell. Then ask yourself, “Is this what I want?” Or do I want to obey God, no matter how hard it may be? I have come to the realization that there is NO SIN worth forfeiting eternity with God. You are about to get married, and you will have your husband to help you through this. You have the opportunity to meet your needs in an acceptable way that is blessed by God. You can do this!!! Go to confession, pray the Rosary, do whatever you’ve go to do–but get right with God. I will pray for you!

 

[Veronica97]

I posted previously, and I don’t know if you saw it, but I decided to delete it b/c I hadn’t realized that you had stopped this particular sin. ( I must be getting tired and didn’t read your post properly!) In that case, you need to pray and ask God to help you form a proper view of the marital embrace. Whenever these thoughts of being abused enter into your mind, you need to replace them with thoughts of how wonderful it will be to give yourself fully to your husband and vice versa. Don’t get carried away with the thoughts though b/c you don’t want to be led into sin before you are married. Just every time the bad thoughts enter your mind, pray, “Lord I want to honor you and give you glory in my marriage bed–help to shape me so that I will be able to do this after I am married. Please take these disordered thoughts from my mind.” And then focus on something else. Ask the Holy Spirit for the gift of Chastity. Pray the Rosary. You can do this with God’s help!! God bless.

 

[animalis]

just want this to stop but it keep plaguing my mind

This plague, in other words, are the disordered passions (also termed feelings, affections, appetites). You may study passions in questions 22-48 of the first of the Second part in the Summa Theologica by St. Thomas Aquinas, one of the greatest and trustworthy teachers of the Church. newadvent.org/summa/2.htm

You may learn more on the passions from the Catechism of the Catholic Church, Part Three, Chapter One, Article five. vatican.va/archive/ENG0015/__P5U.HTM once clicked click next to proceed through the article.

You are in need of both a speculative and a practical appoach. What was mentioned was speculative data, meaning data that is the focus on the passions in themselves. Now, for practical ways on conversion, the giving of your time less to the world, and more to Jesus, Mary and his Church. Here is an admonishment on which we are calling forth about, as St. James says in the Bible, “What causes wars, and what causes fightings among you? Is it not your passions that are at war in your members? You desire and do not have; so you kill. And you covet and cannot obtain; so you fight and wage war. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. Unfaithful creatures! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.” (James 4:1-4) escrivaworks.org/book/christ_is_passing_by/point/134

Anger pertains to the pursuit for goods (spiritual goods in this case) and the obstacles within the pursuit. Your heart needs to be changed more and more, or made pure to seek a constant pursuit for union with God above all else. You will find that in your marriage your husband should be a partner to help you to seek a constant union with the truth of Jesus and Mary, the faith to believe to be saved. Your kids, the fruit of this, should seek God in their heart more then you and your husband. This comes with their maturity but it starts at their baptism. This is the order in you that you seek, true peace as a goal (patience the means), and this order is a way that should be the fruit of the life you give to those who are in contact with you. This is a duty of love that we all share. A struggle for all us self -oriented sinners to repent.