Tempting Situation

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dsully

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I am a single man working on contentment with chastity and considering the possibility that I will be celibate for the rest of my life. Although I am considering becoming Catholic, I am still loosely associated with an evangelical church. Before the leadership changed at this church, I was on the staff as an assistant. There I got to know well our current pastor, his wife, and family. At some point during this relationship I developed a “crush” on the pastor’s wife, who leads worship. She is a very beautiful and talented woman with whom I would enjoy being friends. However, I am very much aware of the Lord’s commandment not to commit adultery. In a previous friendship, I developed a rather close friendship with my friend’s wife. Although we did not have sexual relations (or even kiss), I spent a lot of time with her. The relationship was definitely inappropriate. I do not want something similar to happen in this current situation. Although I cannot tell the future, my guess is that any friendship with this woman would result in inappropriate feelings and temptations on my part–something I would want to avoid. Would you please pray for me in this situation?

Thanks,

Dan
 
Dear Lord,
I pray that dsullly will develop good strategies to avoid the near occasion of sin. Amen.
 
Father Almighty, please grant dsully the strength and perseverance he needs to avoid any inappropriate relationships with women, especially those who are married. Grant him the wisdom and the knowledge to discern Your plan for him. Keep him strong and steadfast in his faith in You. May he be compelled to pray whenever he feels temptation. Amen.
 
Thanks all for praying.

If I may elaborate a little more, the issue is not so much inappropriate physical relationships. The issues are more emotional. For example, regarding the pastor’s wife, something seems to have happened during the congregational singing. I am not a great singer, but I do like to sing out. I think some kind of connection may have developed due to singing together. Although, by God’s grace, I seem to have the self-control to avoid physical temptations, I still seem to like the idea of being “liked” by these women. In my opinion this is sinful because it could damage their relationships with their husbands.

Another problem with me is younger women. I am 32 years old, but I rarely find myself attracted to women my own age. Perhaps it’s because I look much younger than I am, but I usually find myself being drawn towards girls who aren’t much out of high school or in college. Five years ago this didn’t seem like that big of a deal, but it does now.

Again, I am considering a commitment to celibacy, but I have to ask myself: why am I less attracted to godly single women than I am to married women or to girls who are probably too young for me?

I know I should probably be talking about this to other people, but I am in a bit of an alienated position right now, considering a change of churches and/or conversion to Catholicism. Basically, I am looking for purity of heart, not just conduct. And I don’t want to be a snare for others’ sin.

Dan
 
Thanks for praying for me. I really want to pure in heart as well as conduct.

Dan
 
dsully said:
Thanks for praying for me. I really want to pure in heart as well as conduct.

Dan
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Dan, that’s the desire of your heart so you will pray and work towards that end. At least you are aware of your feelings and act accordingly.
 
Does anybody think it would be wise to mention something about this to the pastor?
 
Mother Mary, may Dan avoid all occassions of sin like the plague and keep himself pure. May he not take any chances; may he pray ceaselessly for strength and grace; and may he love his wife deeply. Please help him to keep chaste and free from sin. Amen.
 
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