Tempting thoughts?

[angell1]

what do you suggest doing about tempting thoughts?

sometimes when i am in difficult situations, i get the urge to lie or say something mean. lately i try to push the thoughts away but sometimes things might still slip out regardless. especially if I’m half-asleep or distracted, things that come in to my heqad might still come out of my mouth even though I’m trying to push it away.

is it still a sin if you’re trying to make it go away but don’t succeed? or partially succeed?

i try to take a deep breath and pray or just stay quiet, but people can be so pushy sometimes

 

[LightBound]

what do you suggest doing about tempting thoughts?

sometimes when i am in difficult situations, i get the urge to lie or say something mean. lately i try to push the thoughts away but sometimes things might still slip out regardless. especially if I’m half-asleep or distracted, things that come in to my heqad might still come out of my mouth even though I’m trying to push it away.

is it still a sin if you’re trying to make it go away but don’t succeed? or partially succeed?

i try to take a deep breath and pray or just stay quiet, but people can be so pushy sometimes

If your tempting thoughts involve starting yet another repetitive thread about women and pants on CAF, don’t do it. Pray the rosary instead of logging on the website.

 

[LightBound]

what do you suggest doing about tempting thoughts?

sometimes when i am in difficult situations, i get the urge to lie or say something mean. lately i try to push the thoughts away but sometimes things might still slip out regardless. especially if I’m half-asleep or distracted, things that come in to my heqad might still come out of my mouth even though I’m trying to push it away.

is it still a sin if you’re trying to make it go away but don’t succeed? or partially succeed?

i try to take a deep breath and pray or just stay quiet, but people can be so pushy sometimes

You must get control of those thoughts and impulses. It’s part of managing scrupulosity. I and many others have advised you to seek spiritual and professional help about this, since it is robbing you of mental peace****. Just yesterday, you started another thread about women and pants, when you’ve started numerous ones and are told the same thing. You stated on that thread you didn’t want it to be heated discussion. What on earth made you think it wouldn’t turn into one? Those threads always do. Please please get some help. your pants obsession is robbing me of my peace!

 

[pianistclare]

Everybody struggles with this.
And everybody is called to act/respond in charity. It’s hard sometimes, but we’re never justified in lashing out, no matter how awful we feel sometimes.
Always try to do your best, and if you fail, confess it and resolve to not let your emotions rule you.

 

[angell1]

stclare;12743128]Everybody struggles with this.
And everybody is called to act/respond in charity. It’s hard sometimes, but we’re never justified in lashing out, no matter how awful we feel sometimes.
Always try to do your best, and if you fail, confess it and resolve to not let your emotions rule you.

would it fall under mortal sin? sometimes I can push it away, sometimesi stop myself midsentence, or sometimes it just comes out the wrong way unintentionally

I don’t know if I would call it lashing it out per say, but its like words come out on their own even when I’m trying to stop them if it’s something I don’t want to say. and I don’t know if I can even say it’s emotions, I’m generally not a very emotional person so I don’t really know what it is

 

[pianistclare]

stclare;12743128]Everybody struggles with this.
And everybody is called to act/respond in charity. It’s hard sometimes, but we’re never justified in lashing out, no matter how awful we feel sometimes.
Always try to do your best, and if you fail, confess it and resolve to not let your emotions rule you.

would it fall under mortal sin? sometimes I can push it away, sometimesi stop myself midsentence, or sometimes it just comes out the wrong way unintentionally

I don’t know if I would call it lashing it out per say, but its like words come out on their own even when I’m trying to stop them if it’s something I don’t want to say. and I don’t know if I can even say it’s emotions, I’m generally not a very emotional person so I don’t really know what it is

You know it’s only mortal if you intentionally harm with your words. Words don’t come out on their own. That’s a fallacy. We get used to being snarky (not you, the general world “you”) and we have to master this tendency. Developing habits of being a smart aleck, if that’s what you want to call it, can be reversed through prayer, and putting oneself in the position of the person on the receiving end. Remember how much it bothers you when they act badly to you, and tell yourself you’re not going to make that mistake.
Whether mortal…Only you can discern that. But it’s good to bring up in confession, the priest will have good advice!
I like to think of Christ, in His silence before Pilate.
God bless.

 

[angell1]

would it fall under mortal sin? sometimes I can push it away, sometimesi stop myself midsentence, or sometimes it just comes out the wrong way unintentionally

I don’t know if I would call it lashing it out per say, but its like words come out on their own even when I’m trying to stop them if it’s something I don’t want to say. and I don’t know if I can even say it’s emotions, I’m generally not a very emotional person so I don’t really know what it is

You know it’s only mortal if you intentionally harm with your words. Words don’t come out on their own. That’s a fallacy. We get used to being snarky (not you, the general world “you”) and we have to master this tendency. Developing habits of being a smart aleck, if that’s what you want to call it, can be reversed through prayer, and putting oneself in the position of the person on the receiving end. Remember how much it bothers you when they act badly to you, and tell yourself you’re not going to make that mistake.
Whether mortal…Only you can discern that. But it’s good to bring up in confession, the priest will have good advice!
I like to think of Christ, in His silence before Pilate.
God bless.

sigh, just went to confesion yesterday

remembered during the examination of conscience but when I got in there, I guess the priest was in a rush to get through everyone so he kept cutting me off and asking if I had anything else, so I ended up forgetting to mention it because I was feeling like I was being pushed along. and then last night, I was sort of hald asleep and my mom came in to ask me something and it sort of was on its way to happen again but I think I managed to stop midsentence, I actually can’t really remember. the time I was going to confess about, well I can’t remember if the thought came out as words either.

that’s a bit of the problem, sometimes after the fact, I can’t even remember what I said or if it was just thoughts or if it came out as actual words. I’m usually trying to push it away that I don’t even realize if I’m saying what I’m thinking or not

I’ve having a hard time discerning whether or not it’s mortal. and I like to at least try and keep myself out of sin for at leazst a little while. so I don’t know if I should go back to confession right away or just wait until next time

 

[GratefulFred]

Too little specifics here to provide on-point comments. So a general approach is all I can give at this point.

It may be you see most things as a Test of Wills. Someone has to be right and that someone is you in most cases. Anyone who thinks different NEEDS to be controlled by your response. I admit, this may not be at the root of your worry but too often we do feel the need to prevail.

In life, there are not many situations where this old man feels his Will has to prevail. Few people ask or try to require me to do or say something that is illegal or immoral, or just plain stupid in my view. So, if they are NOT requiring me to do wrong, let them have their opinions without retort.

If I feel the need to voice my opinion I try to remember that we are called to be Christ like. Would Christ feel the need to lie or say something mean? I do have responsibility to respond as kindly as I can, controlling my desire to say mean things.

One analogy is Golf. We may know the rules. But we also know some players play better than others due to natural talent, practice, experience. It is not simply not right to be quick to criticize one who cannot play as well as we can. And it is wrong to try do that in a mean way. My point: although we know better can be done, doing better is harder for some than others.

Bottom line: We are not required to respond to every “wrong” approach to us. In fact we can and should ignore most of them. But if we have to respond, first be sure you have enough facts, and in context, so you response is appropriate and then respond with kindness. IF you cannot do that, walk away.

Again just general comments on how to approach situations.

 

[angell1]

Too little specifics here to provide on-point comments. So a general approach is all I can give at this point.

It may be you see most things as a Test of Wills. Someone has to be right and that someone is you in most cases. Anyone who thinks different NEEDS to be controlled by your response. I admit, this may not be at the root of your worry but too often we do feel the need to prevail.

In life, there are not many situations where this old man feels his Will has to prevail. Few people ask or try to require me to do or say something that is illegal or immoral, or just plain stupid in my view. So, if they are NOT requiring me to do wrong, let them have their opinions without retort.

If I feel the need to voice my opinion I try to remember that we are called to be Christ like. Would Christ feel the need to lie or say something mean? I do have responsibility to respond as kindly as I can, controlling my desire to say mean things.

One analogy is Golf. We may know the rules. But we also know some players play better than others due to natural talent, practice, experience. It is not simply not right to be quick to criticize one who cannot play as well as we can. And it is wrong to try do that in a mean way. My point: although we know better can be done, doing better is harder for some than others.

Bottom line: We are not required to respond to every “wrong” approach to us. In fact we can and should ignore most of them. But if we have to respond, first be sure you have enough facts, and in context, so you response is appropriate and then respond with kindness. IF you cannot do that, walk away.

Again just general comments on how to approach situations.

that’s the whole thing, I’m trying to ignore them but sometimes bad thoughts come along which I try to get rid of. but I may say what I’m thinking whthout intending to

 

[GratefulFred]

that’s the whole thing, I’m trying to ignore them but sometimes bad thoughts come along which I try to get rid of. but I may say what I’m thinking whthout intending to

Here are several things you can do to gain control:

1. The most simplest and powerful prayer I know is: JESUS, I TRUST IN YOU.
   You can and should say this prayer many times each day. For all events in your busy life.
2. You can also pray in your own words to Saint Padre Pio. Look him up and read about him. This Saint will help you to think of the right thing to say.
3. Before you respond in trying situations, take a deep breath and let it out slowly. This slows you down. Also count slowly to 12. This gives you time to think.
4. Read the Book of Proverbs and the Book of Wisdom. I have found many great ideas on how to conduct myself and I am better for the reading and re-reading.
5. You can and should also pray the St Francis Prayer of Peace: “Make me a channel of Your Peace . . .”

---

In my experience I have learned that we need only focus on a problem long enough to see it for what it is. THEN we fully focus on how to deal with it. The suggested 5 steps above should help you improve your response to situations.

Changing a habit takes time. Constant prayer and good reading are ways to improve.

 

[angell1]

Here are several things you can do to gain control:

1. The most simplest and powerful prayer I know is: JESUS, I TRUST IN YOU.
   You can and should say this prayer many times each day. For all events in your busy life.
2. You can also pray in your own words to Saint Padre Pio. Look him up and read about him. This Saint will help you to think of the right thing to say.
3. Before you respond in trying situations, take a deep breath and let it out slowly. This slows you down. Also count slowly to 12. This gives you time to think.
4. Read the Book of Proverbs and the Book of Wisdom. I have found many great ideas on how to conduct myself and I am better for the reading and re-reading.
5. You can and should also pray the St Francis Prayer of Peace: “Make me a channel of Your Peace . . .”

---

In my experience I have learned that we need only focus on a problem long enough to see it for what it is. THEN we fully focus on how to deal with it. The suggested 5 steps above should help you improve your response to situations.

Changing a habit takes time. Constant prayer and good reading are ways to improve.

thanks for the suggestions, will try them

just don’t know if I’m in territory of mortal sin though

 

[Oneofthewomen]

Mortal sin= grave matter + full knowledge + full consent. If all 3 do not apply it is not.
Please, please, please get a spiritual director and/or regular confessor to help you, God does not want you to live in this constant state of anxiety. Some mental health counseling might help too.

 

[angell1]

Mortal sin= grave matter + full knowledge + full consent. If all 3 do not apply it is not.
Please, please, please get a spiritual director and/or regular confessor to help you, God does not want you to live in this constant state of anxiety. Some mental health counseling might help too.

I have one, he is very busy though since he is t eh university chaplain so many people see him

isn’t it kind of difficult to fall in to mortal sin then?

I’m usually not sitting around planning out sins and I’m sure most cahotlics who try to be faithful aren’t either